Cock Up Your Beaver ~ The Infamous Poetry Of D.F.

Another day of trying
Brings another night
Alone.
Another day of staring,
Wide-eyed, worshipping,
Directly into the sun.
It burns.
It hurts.
I can't get close.
I never will be close.
The amazing effect it has on me,
While I, in return, don't affect it at all,
Is... powerful, painful.
The night, this night, every night alone,
Is freezing.
Layers upon layers, I don't get warmer.
Being behind covers isn't anything new,
And it's never helped.
God, I just wish I could do something.
Wish I could make my mark.
Wish I could make the sun stare at me,
Wonder what I was thinking.
I know I should stop trying;
It will never happen.
But I'll always try.
That's why they call it,
What they call it,
Love, Devotion, Loyalty, Stupidity-
Futility?

© by EWIII, 1999


If I Were a Viking


Oh I need some sex
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex
I am so horny

Rape, pillage and burn
I wish I were a viking
Then I'd get my sex

To be a viking
I could drink out of big cups
And eat raw pig meat

I'd get all the hoes
I'd have a big, long red beard
They'd call me Red Beard

I'd start a cool band
And call the band Hammerfall
We'd sing like vikings

To be a viking;
I just want to get some sex
'Fi were a viking

Then I'd get some sex


Limerick #1

 There once was a man in class
The teacher bored him off his ass
He was getting so bored
This class he deplored
For fun he decided to pass gas


Limerick #2

 This class is so fucking dumb
I feel like poking someone's eyes out with my thumbs
I'll cut off their head
Then laugh when they're dead
Then poop on the floor with my bum


Haiku #1


The economy-
Economics can suck me
I hate this damned class


Haiku #2


Limericks are cool
I write them when I get bored
Haikus are fun, too


Haiku #3


I wish I were dead
This class makes me want to die
I need to go poop.


The Masturbation Haiku


Masturbate, jerk off,
spank the monkey, whack the pud.
Stroke the salami.


Haiku #4


I want to go home
I want to go home and sleep
It sucks to be poor


Haiku #5


I have no money.
I could prostitute myself
or maybe sell crack.


Haiku #6


Precalculus class
I have a big quiz today
I'm going to fail


Haiku #7


Guess what? Bored again.
I'm going to kill someone.
I need to snort crack.


Haiku #8


Security's fun
I wish I got paid for this
We do nothing here


Ode To My 95-Year Old Voice Teacher Eunice



Oh Eunice,
What a beautiful name;
I've had other teachers,
But it wasn't the same.

Lovely Eunice!
What a sexy, sexy voice.
They said it was gross,
But it was still our choice.

Voluptuous Eunice,
The sex was great,
I have to admit,
But the smell of that 95-year old.. erm...

Oh Eunice,
To be with you a while
To lick you all over
Would bring me a great smile

My Eunice,
Come meet my mom (I think you'd like her)
But for now I smell something weird,
I think it's time to change your diaper.


Any email regarding the title of this section can be sent to D.F. We know he's a little odd.