Not Dead, Not Dreaming.

...and then I awake. I know I am awake: I don't always know I am dreaming when I am dreaming, but if I am awake I know I am awake… and I am awake. But yet not in control. I can not move. I am moving, but I can not control the movement. And the sound: almost deafening whirring throb. Like wind beating time on my eardrums.

I feel myself rocking from side to side, like a clockspring rocking me on a pivot one way then the other in circular motion, in time with the throb. I feel myself very close to my eyes.. I am right behind them, pushing upwards. All of me moving up, and rocking and throbbing towards the heavens. There is a feeling in the back of my head too… I am pulled by the hair, at the back, then released, pulled then released, all in time, throb throb throb…

And I want to move forward: I know where I'm going, I can't get there.. maybe I try too hard, maybe I am too awake, but I drift softly down, and fall back to sleep….

-Slanning-