I have done some fooling around with stamps and clay, but I haven’t been happy with a single thing that I’ve made. I’ve tossed it all out. I took a class on Saturday, but I’m beginning to think that it was a total waste of money. I didn’t really learn anything useful.

But I did have a good time, so I guess that should be what I look at as the positive.

I have been e-bay obsessed lately.

I have bought a few items, some antique photos and some cat jewelry. I love playing on e-bay. I especially like being a last minute bidder on something that I’ve been watching and get it at the very last second.

It’s kinda mean, but it gives me a kick.

I’ve also been on a quest for my roots. Since my father died I’ve been upset that we know so little about my grandparents and where they came from (Lithuania). So I’ve been doing some investigating and have found record of my grandmother’s entry to Ellis Island, but I’m not sure which is my grandfather. Names were all spelled differently.

It’s an interesting pastime, but it can really suck up all of the day. It’s one of those things where one link leads to another, then I hit a wall and have to go back. It’s frustrating

I think the thing that is most pervasive with me right now, is this huge feeling of depression. I am just plain unhappy with everything, and the thoughts of having to go back to that job that I don’t want makes me sick.

I’d like to go to bed and stay there forever.

I know things are really bad with me when I can’t read and I’m not interested in listening to any kind of music. I feel as if I’m in a world of gray.