Wishing Upon A Star



August 14
Staying In


I went no where today. I barely tiptoed out of the apartment to get my mail (which was a disappointing collection of ads). It was hot, humid, raining now and then, and just wasn’t the kind of day that I wanted to go out into.

The rain was a blessing; the drought around here is awful. Although I’m not sure that these hard downpours and thunderstorms are doing much good. I think they need gentle rain to help the situation around here.



So staying in lent itself to wandering through half completed projects, some reading, and channel surfing. It was the channel surfing that yielded the most interesting results.

For some reason I landed at the Food Channel last night. I rarely watch this, except for the occasional episode of "Two Fat Ladies", but last night, a new discovery that may become regular viewing…"Iron Chef"!

This is a Japanese show, which is dubbed in English. There are four Japanese "iron chefs" each of whom specializes in a particular cuisine.

One is Chinese, one French, one Japanese, and one Italian. They rise out of the set like gladiators, in chef’s outfits that reflect the colors of their specialty. They have fiercely intimidating scowls on their faces, and are clutching meat cleavers or other utensils.

The Master of Ceremonies is dressed like a magician, giving very dramatic introductions and flourishes. He reminded me of an Asian Mark Wilson, who was a magician I remember from my childhood. Although no magic tricks were involved.

A master chef from some Japanese resort or hotel is "the challenger" and he chooses the iron chef that he wants to compete against. The guy last night was from Kyoto and had brought a cheering section with him, including a Geisha. He chose the Chinese chef, who hadn’t been defeated by a challenger in nine months.

Once the challenge has been issued, the master of ceremonies commands that the ingredient of the battle rise and be revealed… last night Spanish mackerel. (I didn’t know mackerel had any nationality.)

It comes up from the center of the stage, mysteriously covered with a cloth, and surrounded by smoke (dry ice I assume). With a dramatic flourish emcee whips the cloth off to reveal the fish. These fish were HUGE, and not filleted or anything, just laying there in a heap, heads and all.



The competitors then have an hour to fix as many gourmet dishes as they can come up with. Presentation seems to count here, not just the ingredients.

The set is considered to be the "kitchen stadium" and it has all sorts of burners and ovens, so these guys can make all manner of entrees and appetizers at once. They also have assistants to help them with the mixing etc.

During all of this there are guest commentators, who will also be the judges, who spend the hour oohing and aahing over what the chefs are doing and the ingredients they are using.

One was a Japanese actress, who seemed to spend a lot of time giggling, so all her giggles were dubbed. The man was a singer, who had to be a lounge lizard. He reminded me of Robert Goulet. He seemed overwhelmed and didn’t really know what to say, except that he liked to eat just about anything the chefs were preparing.

During the commentary there would be an interruption by this one guy who must have been down with the chefs, and he’d frantically interject something during the conversation, confirming an ingredient or technique that one of the chefs was employing. He always interruped the same way-- by shouting the main commentators name.

I kept thinking of the old black and white science fiction movies whenever he did it. You know, like when they were worried about Godzilla or Mothra.



This goes on for almost an hour, leaving just enough time for the commentators to become the taste testers and judges. They brought in two more people for this, one was a food critic and the other the conductor of a symphony orchestra.

Each dish is then tasted, analyzed, re-explained, and judged.

The challenger had prepared six dishes; the Iron Chef only got to five. This part was pretty funny, because the dishes are served piping hot and the judges were burning their mouths, but trying to be very analytical about the taste sensations they were experiencing. The actress continued to giggle and remark that her mouth was "so happy".

It was a howl.

Ultimatley the challenger emerged victorious. The poor old Iron Chef had never cooked mackerel before. But he was gracious in defeat.



I’m telling you, if you need a good laugh on a Saturday night, catch this show. It gives the idea of gladiators a whole new meaning!

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