The Mind Wanders……
The mind wanders…the eyes close…the head nods….
That describes the reading course I’m taking these two days. It is deadly. There are several contributing factors. The class is being taught in an old house on the grounds of a private, hoi-poloi girl’s school. The house is over one hundred years old, it is not air conditioned, the room is very small, and twenty five people are crammed in there. The temperature is in the 80’s and the humidity has returned.
Hence it’s a fight to stay awake.
The other thing that’s a problem is the class itself. I have no objection to learning new things, but education systems tend to jump on whatever bandwagon is in fashion, and this program is the current bandwagon. Wait six months and there will be a new one to leap on.
This is pretty typical of my experience in education for the last 24 years. Nothing I’ve heard today is unique or even new. It’s just a reworking of several other programs most of us have been trained in. I would love to find the magic key that will open up the world of books to dyslexic children (or kids with any type of reading disability), but there is no magic. And with some kids there is no solution.
It’s really tough for me to admit this too, as books are one of the most important things in my world. They’ve been that way since I first learned to read.
I was an early reader, somewhere in the vicinity of three years old. I remember belonging to my first book club before I even entered kindergarten. It was Dr. Seuss, and the first book was One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish ("this one has a little car, this one has a little star, my what a lot of fish there are!"), the second was A Fly Went By.
I have always used books for escape, comfort, entertainment, learning, and I would love to pass that love on to the kids I work with. The problem is that they’ve been struggling to learn to read for a good five years before I encounter them, and that’s five years worth of frustration. Every teacher has tried to help these kids master reading, but many times without a lot of success. It’s frustrating for everyone.
I’d be thrilled if this program was the answer, but I doubt it will be. One of the problems will be that this program is supposed to be taught one-on-one, but our current system does not operate that way. We are a "full inclusion" school, which means I go into the regular classroom to work with the kids. The intent is that it removes some of the stigma of being pulled out and missing some of the instruction that is going on in the classroom. We also have a space issue this year. We have nowhere to bring the kids for this instruction.
It just doesn’t seem to be well thought out in terms of what the administration is expecting. This course is not inexpensive and they’ve forced us to make a big commitment, but I worry about the success we’ll have. I’ll give it my all and try my damndest, so I will at least feel as if I’ve given whatever child I work with his/her best shot at success.
While I was fighting sleep and my mind was busy not paying attention I was noticing the other people in the class. There was one fashion statement I just didn’t understand. This one woman, who was in her late forties/early fifties, was wearing a banana clip smack dab in the back of her head. She had very short hair, and it wasn’t serving any purpose, and it looked ridiculous. But I kept puzzling over why it was there. I found clips and barrettes to be uncomfortable when I had long hair and they were necessary, so why would you just slap one on the back of your head?
Puzzling.
I had very weird dreams last night. I don’t usually remember my dreams, but I didn’t sleep well so I must have been waking up at exactly the right time to remember them.
I dreamt about learning to speak Turkish. I wasn’t in Turkey, but I was so concerned about learning the language. I think it’s partly because I sleep with the television on all night and the news reports enter my subconscious. Obviously with the disastrous earthquake and the tragedy that has been occurring, Turkey is one of the leading news reports. But this was one very vivid dream.
I also dreamt about allergies and searching and searching for the medicine I needed. When I woke up I was in the middle of a huge allergy attack in reality. So that one was obvious too.
I heard from Michael and he’s actually organizing a time for us to get together on Friday. I am really thrilled.
And nervous.
What if he hits me with news I’m not ready to hear? What if it alters our friendship in a negative way?
It was fine last year when we met for the first time, but I’m still so apprehensive. He’s so important to me.
I know I have to invite Dee to come along to meet him, but I really don’t want to. I hope she declines and decides to go take a nap.
I should just accept this as a good thing, and not worry so much.
yeah, right.
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