Is this a joke?
It was seventy degrees out this afternoon. It was overcast, but warm and springy. Just lovely.
We are supposed to get four inches of snow tomorrow.
This is a cruel joke. Actually it’s New England weather. There is a favorite saying of all the weathermen in the area, "You don’t like the weather? Wait a minute and it will change." They don’t seem to be kidding this time.
The last thing I want is snow. The fact that I hate driving in it has already been well documented, but more than that I don’t want a snow day. We are currently scheduled to get out for the summer on June 16, and a snow day would mean that we have to come back on a Monday.
No thanks. I want to be DONE.
Now a two hour delayed opening in the morning wouldn’t upset me a bit. It would suit me just fine to sit around the house and have a slow start and only have to put in four hours at school.
So I’m voting for the delay.
When I first got up this morning I thought I was all better. I’d had a good night’s sleep, hadn’t been sick during the night and figured I was over the virus.
Fifteen minutes later I was back into an attack and then felt like crap for the rest of the day.
Let me tell you that I am mighty sick of tea, saltine crackers and flat gingerale. I’ve had so much salt my fingers are swollen.
So I spent the day feeling wiped out and ready for the last round-up. I had two meetings, one pleasant one not so pleasant, and wrote up more paperwork.
My life is such a non-stop fiesta.
Someone sent me this joke today, and anyone from Massachusetts will understand it, if anyone else reads it and wants a specific explanation, just slip me an e-mail.
How To Tell You Are From Massachusetts...
- The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.
- The fact that Routes 128 and 95 are pretty much the same thing doesn't confuse you.
- When ordering a tonic, you mean a coke...not water with bubbles.
- You can navigate a rotary without a problem.
- You almost feel insulted when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off, or steal their parking space, etc.
- You know how to pronounce towns like Worcester, Haverhill, Tewksbury and Cotuit
- You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer
- You know that there are two Bulger brothers (both are crooks but, you know there are two)
- You have been to Fenway Park
- You knew that there was no chance in Hell that the Patriots would move to Hartford
- You laugh at all of the other states in New England
- You know of at least 1 diner or food vendor to get something to eat after last call
- You can actually find your way around Boston
- You have spent at least 1 weekend at UMass
- The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools
- You refer to the New York Yankees as the Devil's Bitches or something worse
- Colleges are used as landmarks for directions (i.e., Go past MIT until you hit Harvard. Take a right and go past Lesley. Keep going until you get to Tufts.) (actual directions).
- Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever
- Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday
- You know at least 1 guy either named Sean, Pat, White, Red, O.B. or Seamus
- You think the rest of the country owes you for having things like Thanksgiving and independence.
- As a kid you laughed at the kids down south who never got to have 'snow days'
- You feel that the rest of the world needs to drive more like you
- The Beanpot is a hockey tournament not a serving container
- You take great pride in Cheers
- You can recognize a Revere girl simply by looking at her hair
- You know exactly where you were when Buckner missed the ball
- You know that there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West Roxbury than just a direction
- Somebody calls you a Masshole and you take it as a compliment.
And, the final and most prominent way to know that you are from Massachusetts...
- You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of speech
Listening to: Boyzone and Meat Loaf
Reading: The Pilot’s Wife Anita Shreve and Letter from New York Helene Hanff
Weather: 71, overcast
Trivia: How are horse's hooves protected from cracks?
The hooves of a galloping horse can hit the ground with more than the weight of the entire animal, yet they are made of keratin, the same protein that makes up your fingernails. How do they keep from cracking under the stress? A horse's hoof is essentially a huge toenail. But unlike human toenails, it has an internal structure that stops cracks before they can grow, and even shunts them off to the edge of the hoof, thus trimming it efficiently by removing extra "flash" from the edges. The keratin protein of the hoof has a "grain" like the grain of wood. Cracks tend to grow along that grain. If a crack develops, it moves along the grain until it comes to one of thousands of microscopic tubes that run through the hoof. Each tube is wound with layers of protein with differently-pointing grain, which redirect the crack along the tube to the edge of the hoof, where it harmlessly ends.
Cool word: censer (SEN-sur) - A vessel for burning incense.
censor (SEN-sur) - One who reviews offensive of objectionable material, deleting that which is found to fall into such categories; the act of behaving in the manner of a censor. "Ellen pointed out that, not only did the church use censers in their ceremony, but they were quick to act as censors on any material they found objectionable."
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