So here I sat last night, happily writing my entry when suddenly…..CRASH!!! A bright flash of lightening, a huge clap of thunder and….

DARKNESS!!!!

We had some incredibly violent thunderstorms that started at about one yesterday afternoon and then would stop for a while until a new one rolled in. They had lots of lightening and noise and serious downpours that included hail.

It was about nine o’clock when the power went out last night, and I have no idea what time it came back on. I went to bed.

Needless to say, yesterday's update was lost. I never seem to remember that I should be saving as I go along. I pay for this on a regular basis, yet I never change my bad habits.

Actually, before I could go to bed I had to face a challenge. Take my contact lenses out and cleaning them and putting them away. Even with my itsy bitsy flashlight to help me out, it was not an easy task. I kept thinking that if I dropped one it would be lost forever.

I managed to get them out and put away without incident. At least I was able to use them today.

I went to bed and slept till about four, then I was up. Again.

I’m not sure why I continue to wake up and not be able to get back to sleep, but it seems to be a routine this week. And it’s damn irritating, because by about one I’m ready for a nap.

I had a wonderful dream last night though, and I woke up brimming with happiness. I dreamt of my uncle John, who passed away twenty years ago. He was happy, smiling and there to support me in this dream and it was so wonderful to be with him again.

I was his only niece and he spoiled me rotten. He liked me a great deal because I was smart and quick and would keep up with him verbally. He was a very intelligent man and was a newspaper reporter who covered the State House, then he became Postmaster of the city where he had lived all his life.

He liked to challenge me intellectually and expected me to keep a very high standard. I would write him letters and he’d send them back marked up in red – he would correct all my grammar! He’d be a wise guy and send me something to rile me up, and of course I’d feel obligated to dish it back.

It was because of him that I had the opportunity to live at college and stop commuting. One Christmas (my junior year at Boston College – I’d been commuting up to that point), he handed me a check for a thousand dollars and said, "I think it’s time you lived at school."

He would also give me money for books or living expenses. (My parents didn’t pay for any of my college education, most of it was funded through scholarships and I basically went to school for free.)

The reason I had such good grades all through school and that I made sure I was in advanced placement classes and the National Honor Society was to please him. And my parents. It was very important to me that they were proud of my grades, and me and grades were very important as far as everyone was concerned. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. To this day I am the only person in my family to have graduated from a private college.)My brothers are college graduates but they went to state schools.)

When I was twenty-four Uncle John was diagnosed with acute leukemia. That was in June. We were told that if he had chemo he would gain about three years. He had the chemo. He died four months later.

It is one of those things that I may never get over.

He was six feet six inches tall and a large man. He wasted away to nothing with the chemo, and was terribly sick before he died. I was there when he died.

My life has had a large hole in it ever since. He filled so much of it and was so much a part of it that no one has ever been able to take his place.

I miss him everyday.

So last night’s dream was wonderful and it made me feel so happy to think that he was with me again.

Actually, I think he’s with me all the time. I believe in ghosts, and there are times that I will look up and see him. There are times that I know he comes to visit me, to check up on me.

That probably sounds so weird, but I can feel him. It would be just like him to check up on us all the time. My brothers and my mother have seen him as well, so it’s not just me.

We don’t talk about it often, but we’ve all had the experience of seeing him. One time stands out in my mind. It was shortly after he died and we were all still living with my parents. My mother and I were downstairs watching television and she said, "I saw John last night." I gulped and told her that I saw him all the time and that I thought that he was checking up on me. So we both started to cry. One of my brothers happened to walk into the room while we were crying. He automatically assumed that we were crying over some television program we were watching, until he realized we were watching the news. We explained to him what we had been talking about and he said, "Oh thank God! I thought I was loosing it, I see him all the time!"

But I love knowing he’s still there for me.