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 Author: Meredith
Category: M/L
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing except four exceptionally sweet felines, an overly active imagination, and a beat up ’88 Mazda MX-6. Roswell© and all characters within are property of Melinda Metz and the WB. “Miracle” was written by Vertical Horizon, "Bent" belongs to Rob Thomas and matchbox twenty, and I don’t claim rights to them either.
Author's Note: This is based on the ending of "Destiny". It goes between Max and Izzy's POVs. What happened after Liz walked down that cliff?
::miracle:: by vertical horizon
it’s taken much too long to get it right/would it be so wrong/to maybe find someone…a miracle…
and all you really need/ is everything you could never be/and so you’d give it all, for a miracle…
Is there a trace inside her face of a lonely miracle? And so you wait, and lie awake, for a lonely miracle…
You never really know what it is/not until it goes/and if it comes again/it’s a miracle….
But what you miss is love/ in everything below and up above/and could she bring it all…a miracle…
Is there a trace inside her face of a lonely miracle? And so you wait, and lie awake, for a lonely miracle…
All you wanted was a miracle
All you needed was a miracle… a miracle
And all you wanted was a miracle
All you needed was a miracle…a miracle
It’s taken so long to get it right/ could it be so wrong?/ to maybe find someone, a miracle?
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~*Max*~
She hasn’t been gone for very long, and the pain is already setting in.
I hold out my hands… they can’t stop shaking.
I touch one finger to my lips, still moist from her last kiss.
*Our last kiss.*
How could that be? Last night, we’d made so many plans, talked about our dreams, our most intimate thoughts… desires…
Our love. Liz and I are in love.
And now, not even 24 hours later, our lives are completely different… been torn upside down.
She walked away. How could she walk away from this...us?
1:56 A.M. How am I supposed to sleep now? Now that I know who I am? What I am?
~*Isabel*~
All I see is my real mother. I close my eyes and she's all I see. I open my eyes to my dark, cold, bedroom, and I swear I can almost feel her arms around me.
I thought this was what I wanted...I thought Roswell was where I belonged. Now that I know about this- this whole other past life- it scares me in a way that not even Pierce could have ever scared me. Now I know things that I never knew before. I know one distressing thing- Michael and I are destined to be together- all those dreams we were having- everything Tess said...was true. We were married in our past life. Michael's like my brother, we'll never be able to accept each other as...lovers!
But I also learned one amazing thing. The most important person in the world to me-the person who I grew to love as my own flesh and blood- my sibling, my confidante, my twin- was really my brother. I have never been so ecstatic in my life. Max- the most brave, courageous, wonderful person I know- is really my blood family. I've never felt so empty, yet so complete at the same time...
And now I know the connection between Max and I is real.
I feel his pain.
I feel his longing.
He is dying.
I never thought I'd be thinking about it. Thinking about going to sleep and never waking up. Walking down to our special place, the rock quarry, and jumping off the highest cliff into the shallow water below. The slight chill in the desert air gives me goosebumps.
I just laugh them off and keep walking.
I quicken my pace because I feel like someone's following me. My heart jumps in my throat as I smell the faint scent of Liz's hair in the breeze wafting into my nose and mouth.
Is she here? My pulse quickens.
Impossible.
No one knows I'm here.
The past few days have been hell for us all- but especially for Max. Michael, Tess and I have had to practically babysit him for the past 72 hours. (Not that he actually lets Tess stay in his sight for an extended period of time.) What do the jailers in the prisons call it?
Suicide watch?
Yeah, that's it. Suicide watch.
I shudder as I think about the word "suicide". Sure, Max is depressed, but he'd never do something so rash... so selfish.
Would he?
I've been thinking a lot about my future.
Everyone on earth gets to have a future.
Maria and Alex are going to become famous recording stars someday. Their videos are going to be plastered all over MTV and they'll win tons of Grammys.
They have a future.
Kyle Valenti will go to college, probably on a football scholarship. He'll graduate, but eventually move back to Roswell and take over his dad's job when he retires. He'll settle down, get married, have a family, coach little league baseball...
He has a future.
And Liz... my beautiful, sweet, precious angel. She's going to go to Harvard and become a molecular biologist. She'll win the Nobel Price for Science. She'll become a respected scientist around the globe- find a cure for AIDS. She'll probably end up finding a normal man, get married, have beautiful children with him...
I don't want this life anymore.
I'm tired of not having a future to call my own.
Now I only have two thoughts in my head:
1. Liz's beautiful face.
2. I have nothing left to lose.
Something's wrong. Something's definitely wrong. Max isn't here. Mom and Dad aren't here. I'm all alone. Something is definitely wrong. I need Michael. I need Alex, Maria, I need Liz. We need to get to Max- before it's too late. I can't lose him, I can't lose my brother. What will I do when he's gone? I might as well shrivel up and die myself... without him, without Michael... I am nothing. I am worthless. Oh, God... if you could just save Max this one time, just this once... I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live. I just can't lose him!
One toe over the edge.
I look down at the water below.
We come here all the time, but I've never stood on this cliff.
The view is so amazing. It's breathtaking. I close my eyes...
She's all I see. She should be here with me, in my arms.
I'm cold, so cold.
I think I'll just lay down a while... look up at the stars.
Who am I kidding? The stars remind me of my wretched life. The planet where my life ended. The planet who so desparately needs my help. I am the selfish one, so unwilling to give- to share...
All for her.
I would do anything for her.
Including what I am about to do.
Oh, God, Michael! Drive faster! He isn't fast enough. None of us can be fast enough. Max is going to die out there- all alone. I'm holding Liz in my arms right now. She is shaking. It's really scaring me. With she and I, it's like the blind leading the blind...I'm losing my brother, she's losing her soulmate... I wish Alex was here to hold me. He and Maria are coming behind us, they were at Maria's house writing new songs when we called them...No, Max...you're so cold... I can feel it...
There are shapes reflecting in the water. I have to be at least a hundred feet up, but I can definitely see them. They are dancing together like the most precious light...
Liz's hand taking mine, she's pushing my hair away from my face... holding me and telling me everything's going to be okay. She's going to fix me.
She's the only one who can.
She did the breaking, she has to do the fixing.
How can that be?
None of that matters now.
She doesn't want anything to do with me...not that I blame her. I'm not who I thought I was.
I don't know who I am anymore. When I was with Liz, everything was so clear. I was born to be with her. To fall in love with her, she was my destiny. Then Tess came and took all that away from me.
She ruined my life. She thought she was liberating me, giving me the truth.
Tess Harding signed my death warrant.
My heart jumps as the car rolls down the gravel-covered side of the quarry. We see the Jeep and Liz flees from my arms and runs towards it.
We don't see Max.
Liz is screaming. "He's gone! He's dead! Oh, God!"
I try to calm her down. He couldn't be dead. I would have felt it. He's still here.
Suddenly, we see him.
His shiny black hair. I used to love it, now it just reminds me of the shadow of himself he's become.
His white t-shirt glows in the moonlight.
His cargo pants are torn and ragged from the last few weeks of running through woods, jumping off bridges...
He's barefoot. His toes are sticking over the side of the cliff.
Liz takes off after him.
"Max!" I hear her scream.
Then my world goes black. The last thing I remember is falling into Michael's arms.
She's here. She's come for me.
"Max!" I hear her angelic voice calling my name. It must be my imagination, she's not really here.
I turn my head ever so slightly, and I see her running frantically towards me.
Is she an angel? Beckoning me towards the gates of heaven?
Then she touches me. I know this is real.
God, please don't do this to me. Don't let this be a dream.
"Max, please! Don't leave us! We need you!" She's crying. Oh, God, I've made her cry again! I never wanted to hurt her and all I do is break her heart. Her tears are burning the back of my neck like acid. I stand motionless, I say nothing. She has her arms around me, but my feet are planted firmly still at the edge of the cliff.
Why can't I turn around? Why can't I look at her?
"Max, please, I love you! You can't leave me!"
I turn around, roaring at her.
"Leave me? Leave ME? YOU left me! You're the one who walked away that day!" I scream.
All the color drains out of her face and she backs away from me.
"Max..." She whispers almost inaudibly.
Oh, God. I'm killing her. I might as well just end her suffering right now and just finish what I came here to do.
I come to, and I hear Michael screaming Max's name.
Max and Liz are fighting.
Oh, dear God. Please help him. Don't let him do this.
Michael rushes towards them and grabs Liz, holding her close to him. He pets her hair, kisses the top of her head. I'm trying so hard to get up, but something's pulling me back.
I finally make it to my feet and I'm running.
I'm here for you, Max.
I'm always here for you.
I run into his arms. He holds onto me like I'm his lifeline.
"Isabel..." He utters out, choking on his words.
"Max." I whisper to him, kissing the side of his head. "I love you, please, you can't leave me. What would I do without you?"
"I'm sorry, Isabel. I've been so selfish- so selfish." He looks to Liz.
They share the most heartbreaking look I've ever seen in my life.
Liz breaks away from Michael.
I let go of Max.
Their bodies gravitate towards one another...
Before I know it, she's in my arms again.
God, she feels so good.
We find each other's lips and she pulls herself closer to me, into my arms.
"Max, I love you." She whispers in my ear.
I feel my heart slowly warming up, along with my soul.
"You mean everything to me." She says.
The same thing I said to her, right before she left me.
I pull away from her then, searching her eyes for what would happen next.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
She isn't leaving me again.
How could I ever leave this precious thing behind?
I am making a vow here and now.
I will love this girl till the day I die.
"I'm here for you, Max. Whatever happens."
I fall into her arms, sobbing.
She just saved my life.
Michael hugs Max close to him.
Liz returns to my embrace.
"Thank you." I whisper in her ear. "Thank you for bringing him back to me."
"Isabel, I'm here for you. No matter what happens. I feel like you're my sister or something. I don't ever want to lose that."
I smile at her.
"You won't ever lose that." I say.
She smiles back at me.
Michael runs to Maria as she and Alex pull up just then.
I run into Alex's arms, desperate for his warm embrace.
"Alex..." I moan into his ear.
"Isabel, are you okay?" He asks, running his hands through my hair.
I pause, looking into his eyes...those beautiful brown eyes in which I found the key to my own soul.
"I am... now."
The six of us have learned something in the past week.
We are nothing without each other.
No matter what happens,
we have to stick together.
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If I fall along the way
pick me up and dust me off.
and if I get too tired to make it
be my breath so I can walk
If I need some other love
give me more than I can stand
and when my smile gets old and faded
wait around I'll smile again
shouldn't be so complicated
just hold me and then
just hold me again
can you help me I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
get put back together
you're breaking me in
and this is how we will end
with you and me bent
If I couldn't sleep could you sleep
could you paint me better off
could you sympathize with my needs
I know you think I need a lot
I started out clean but I'm jaded
just phoning it in
just breaking the skin
start bending me
It's never enough
I feel all your pieces
start bending me
Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in
shouldn't be so complicated
just touch me and then
just touch me again
-bent by matchbox twenty
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