HARMONY'S BIGGEST DRINKER CONTEST
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(THE MOST EXCITING COMPETION IN HARMONY SINCE MIGUEL TOOK HOME THE HARMONY HUNK PRIZE) |
(After viewing the contestants' profiles, please vote in the poll at the bottom of the page)
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THE CONTESTANTS |
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CONTEST FAVORITES: |
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JULIAN CRANE |
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TIMMY THE DOLL |
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One of the favorites to win the contest, Julian always has a drink in hand. One time when discussing martini's with Luis, Julian remarked that he would never joke about olives, lemon twists maybe, but not olives. Another Julian drinking fact: He once made a batch of egg nog that was too strong for Ivy to drink. |
He may be a little man but he's a big contender for this award. For starters he makes "martimmys" by the pitcher. It is a wonder that this doll, with no liver to process the alcohol, can even walk by the end of a show. Also, this viewer believes that Timmy's hallucinations (ie Super Tim) are a direct result of too much alcohol consumption. |
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CONTEST UNDERDOGS: |
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TABITHA LENOX |
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THE LATE MARTIN FITZGERARLD IMPOSTER |
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Tabby is not as well known a drinker as some of the contestants, but she has a decent track record. It is a well known fact that she often enjoys martimmys with her doll friend. Also she once made hot toddys and almost had a fling with a drunken Santa Claus. The picture above would also allow us to conclude that her breath is flammable due to a high alcohol content. |
In case you were wondering about the rules of the contest, a deceased character can win the award provided they died within the past year. Not much to say about the imposter, lived alone but drank a lot, in fact that bag in the picture above is packed full with whiskey bottles. Rest in Peace Martin Imposter |
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CONTEST LONGSHOTS: |
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LUIS LOPEZ-FITZGERALD |
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FATHER LONEGAN |
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At first thought Luis appears too responsible to win such a dubious award, but after closely examining the facts (much like Luis would), it appears he has a case for the award. Fact #1: Luis hangs out in a seedy pool hall. Fact #2: Luis keeps a refrigerator in his garage filled with beer. Fact #3: His memory is so poor that he could not tell if the imposter was his father or not (possible loss of too many brain cells). |
Maybe I'm way off here but the fact is that this is a blind guy that hangs out by himself in a building with a room completely filled with wine. I'm guessing that he may very well pass the time by tipping the bottle a bit. |
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PLEASE PRESS "GO!" IN THE VOTING BOX BELOW TO GO TO THE POLL FOR
HARMONY'S BIGGEST DRINKER
BACK TO THE JULIAN CRANE WEBSITE
