I woke up to a deep kiss that morning. When I opened my eyes I was met head on with John’s light brown eyes that held so much of his spirit in them. I played around a bit with his hair. It was combed back like Elvis’ early hair style. I couldn’t wait until Astrid gave them the moptop look. This whole hair back thing just didn’t seem right. I was mussing his hair up and he made a face.

“Bloody hell, why’d ya have to go and do that for? Fuck, Stu are you out yet? She mussed up me look again!” John playfully shouted. I grabbed his collar and pulled him closer to me and then I kissed him. My tongue met his hungrily. Stu came into the room to see what the shouting was about and saw us kissing and playing around on the bed. He sighed. I moved John aside and laughed at the exasperated look on poor Stu’s face. John tossed a pillow at the direction of the door and it closed promptly and that left John and I alone yet again.

“Today’s the day we begin our journey. How do you feel love? I know I can’t wait to feel the sea breeze, and if you wear a short skirt, I won’t be able to wait for those gusts of wind to blow it up,” John said with an evil grin.

“I’ll be sure and wear my tight leather pants, just for you Johnny. I feel a bit anxious to be in Hamburg. I hear it’s a great place for rock and roll groups. I know you’ll do well there. I can’t wait to see the ocean. I haven’t been to a beach in a long time, and the open sea will smell better than the Mersey!” I made a face as I mentioned the Mersey, then I continued playfully, “Do you think you’ll get seasick?”

He looked appalled by my question, “Bloody hell no! I’m a third generation seaman. My father was a seaman as was his father. Seamen don’t get seasick. Don’t worry I’ll be sure and keep you from going over the railing when you have to toss up your meals overboard.”

“I’ll keep that in mind!” I purred in his ear.

I began to nibble on his earlobe and he moaned. He was sitting on the bed. I straddled him and began to push him back on the bed. We were in the middle of a very heated French kiss when Stu walked in on us again. He coughed and we both looked up, we were startled and disappointed about our moment being interrupted.

“Neil’s here with the van and we have to go if we’re going. We’re meeting the others by the dock right?” He asked.

John nodded. We loaded up our things into Neil’s van and then we headed towards the dock. We saw Pete and Paul standing around and talking on the dock so John, Stu, and I went out to talk to them. Pete looked a bit shocked to see John and me together. He obviously thought that George and I were still an item. I was holding John’s hand and laughing over something Paul said. We all started talking about the trip and Paul began a conversation on seasickness. I began laughing at Paul’s impersonation at being seasick and John launched into his son of a seaman speech. We were all laughing and joking when we noticed George talking to his mum. We put our hands over our mouths to quiet down the laughter as George began scowling while his mum gave him a brown paper bag filled with something. When he reached on the dock he was blushing, he knew that we’d been watching him the whole time. John snatched the bag from his hands and Paul grabbed. He looked in the bag and then said, “Good I missed breakfast. Your mum sure knows how to give great going away meals!”

The bag was filled with cookies. Paul passed the bag around and we dug in. We all had a couple of the cookies and soon we were laughing and joking again. When it came time to board the boat we hurried up the gangplank. We stood at the railing as the boat took off (it was a big boat, because it was so shabby that you could honestly call it a ship). We took one final look at the docks of Liverpool as it grew smaller and smaller in the distance. The open ocean looked beautiful to me. I’d never been on a boat before and I loved the way the waves curled on the boat as we glided over to Germany.

John wasn’t much of a seaman. I guess the lineage of a seaman ends abruptly in the second generation. John stayed by the railing throwing up everywhere. Paul went over to talk to him and chide him about being a third generation seaman. When I saw Paul walking back he was scowling and muttering about his new boots being ruined. I covered my mouth with my hands, but I still laughed as he walked by. He looked up with arched eyebrows and we both began to laugh. I said something to him like, “That’s what you get for messing with a third generation seaman!” Paul burst out laughing and then I went to check on John, I didn’t want him to fall over board.

John looked completely miserable. I put my arm around his shoulder he looked up for a few minutes, but then he leaned back over the railing. I managed to help him to the loo and he got cleaned up. He looked up and then sighed, “How much do I owe Paul for the boots?”

“You don’t owe him a bloody thing. He can clean them up. Maybe that whole seaman thing wasn’t met for you. Stick with the music love!” I said and kissed him on the cheek.

He grimaced and then turned to the toilet and let it out. “Fuck this is worse than a hangover,” He groaned.

We were on the ocean for about a day and a half. When we finally reached Hamburg John ran off the boat and practically kissed the ground. We all got a good laugh at that. “I thought you were with Liv. She’s not good enough to kiss now? Cor, John you find a new one every week!” Paul laughed.

“I’m just glad to see the ground. Come ‘ead Liv, and I’ll show you how much I appreciate you!” John called up to me on the boat.

I ran into his arms and he swung me around and kissed me. I didn’t care about his breath by then, I was just glad to be in his arms. We got our luggage together and then we began to walk to the Kaiserkeller. It was going to be a long walk. About a mile or two. Hitching a ride wasn’t an option. Who would pick up five guys and a girl headed toward the St. Paulie district?

By the time we reached the club it was about eight and that meant show time for the guys. Bruno the owner of the club wanted the guys to get up there and perform that night. The guys had little say so in the matter. They got up there and began performing. I sat down at one of the tables closest to the stage and guys prepared their set and then began playing. I ordered a couple of drinks. A scotch and coke was my main choice and that was what I continued to drink for the rest of the night. The boys appeared to be dead on their feet after about three hours of playing, they got breaks in between sets and during one of those breaks one of the waitresses slipped them some pills. Uppers no doubt because after that they were so full of energy it was amazing to watch them. They played all kinds of songs, ‘Jailhouse Rock’, ‘Twist and Shout’, ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ and so much more. After a while John called me up on stage. I was shocked that he would do that, but I joined them. He wanted me to give Stu a break on the bass. I got up there and I played like there was no tomorrow. It was amazing how the crowd was reacting to them. I went into a ripping bass solo to ‘Jailhouse Rock’ that nearly brought the place down. I think that’s why the guys had called me up there. No one expected a girl to get on stage and play. I loved it and ate up all the attention. It was a rush and I didn’t need the uppers to have energy on that stage. The adrenaline rush was enough for me.

The guy’s set was over at about three o’clock in the morning. I fell into the bottom bunk below Stu’s. I was completely exhausted. That rush I got on stage didn’t last too long. Stu had a girl with him, that wasn’t surprising considering how he looked so suave like James Dean. It was amazing how he could go. It looked like the mattress was going to collapse right on top of me. John joined me in the same bunk. There weren’t enough bunks for me to have my own bed, but I didn’t mind, after all I was sharing a bed with John. He jumped into bed beside me and planted a kiss on my lips that shocked even me. He was so animated. Damn how long would those uppers last. I kissed him back, and soon he had my shirt off and was reaching for the clasp to my bra. I arched my back as instinct took over. Exhaustion took the back seat. I was there with John at that moment and all I felt was what John was making me feel.

He continued to kiss me and then removed my bra and began to caress my breasts. I moaned. I stopped him and he looked confused, but then I rolled over and ended up on top of him. I straddled him. I began to kiss and nuzzle his throat and kissed down his chest. I looked up to see him watching me intently. He was only wearing a pair of boxers. When I reached the top of his boxers I looked up and grinned. He began to grow hard. I began to pull down his boxers, but Paul had to open his fucking mouth.

“Hey mate, I didn’t know she was so forward, maybe she’d do us all a favor!” He shouted.

John threw a pillow at Paul and Paul threw it right back. Damn that bastard knew how to ruin a mood. I groaned and laid back down beside John. He sighed knowing that the mood was ruined. I cuddled up close to him, kissed him, and then I fell asleep on his chest.

When I woke up the next morning it was well after noon, probably around two or so. I left John to sleep and got some clothes out of my suitcase and went to take a shower. The bathroom in that place was awful. The door was just a mere curtain, but the shower had a decent shower curtain (although it was clear!). I used the toilet and then I got into the shower. Amazingly enough the faucet had hot water. I undressed and then got into the shower. I felt the warm water washing over me and I sighed at the sensation of the warm water. I picked up the bar of soap that was hanging on the wall and I began to wash. I was in the middle of rinsing off when I heard a sharp gasp coming from the direction of the toilet. I peaked around the curtain and found a completely dumbfounded Paul staring at me.

“Are you going to stand there and gawk or are you going to hand me that bottle of shampoo behind you and kindly leave so I can finish my shower without this turning into a peep show,” I grinned at him.

Paul blushed and grabbed the bottle behind him and handed it too me. When his hand reached the curtain he twisted it and caused it to open a bit wider and he got a full view of me. HE grinned sheepishly and then said, “Sorry, luv, but John’s bird or not I couldn’t resist a bit of a peak!”

Then he left as quickly as he could. John came in later when I was pulling my shirt down over my head. He stopped me from putting it on. He playfully pinned my arms behind me and kissed me, a deep, probing kiss. That kiss led to one hell of a knee trembler in the loo. John had me up against the wall and had my skirt up over my thighs quickly. I wrapped my legs around me and I felt his hands on my ass, lifting me up. My arms wound around his neck and the kiss deepened. I felt a sharp tug when John entered me. Olivia Kenton was a virgin before this encounter, far from my life in the nineties, when I’d lost my virginity at the age of sixteen.

Kissing John kept my cries to a minimum. John was so strong and well proportion. We fit perfectly together. I felt him explode inside of me. All of his wetness just filled me. He kissed me gently as he braced himself against me and the wall. My hands had wound themselves in his hair and I brought his face down so that I could kiss him again. He zipped himself up and then gathered me in his arms and carried me back into the bedroom/bunkhouse, where we were staying. He laid me out gently on the bed and we were at it again. He touched me and caressed every part of my body. I explored him as well and discovered several things that shocked him, yet he was quite happy with the “new sport”. When I began to stroke and kiss his most sensitive area he began to moan really loudly. That caught the attention of the other guys, but they didn’t disturb us, they thought it was fascinating. I was off in some other world, so I didn’t notice that they were there until John came, and then they all applauded. I looked up and felt my face growing hot with embarrassment. John yanked the blanket over us as quickly as possible. George was the only one not in the room. I was glad that he wasn’t there and I hoped that he hadn’t seen John and I together. Paul and Stu asked for an encore performance, but John and I told them to “Sod Off, you filthy lot!”

I was still lying in the bed when John went to the loo. I didn’t want to get out of it until the guys were well out of the room and I could get dressed. John came bouncing back into the room and jumped back in bed with me. When he pulled back the sheets he noticed the stains. He looked a bit confused and then looked up at me and grinned.

“You were a bloody virgin? Cor, I thought you were going to kill me. It felt so good love! Where the hell did you learn all of that then?” John asked. He sounded completely amazed.

“Remember, Johnny, I used to be a girl of the nineties, and I’d been experimenting since I was sixteen. Don’t worry love, you are the best I’ve ever had. I suppose Olivia Kenton must have been a right proper girl, before I came about,” I grinned deviously and then kissed him. The guys had just cleared out and I straddled John. He smiled.

“Are we going to finish what we started last night, then?” He asked. A familiar glimmer shown in his eye. I’d seen that same light in Jonas’ eyes. I closed my mind off to the memory and brought my lips down hard on John’s. My memories of Jonas were soon washed away by John that day. By the time he had to get ready for the set I was completely sedated from all of our lovemaking. Paul and Stu walked in on us a couple of times, but didn’t stay too long. It was one continuous afternoon of wonderful thrills. I fell asleep as soon as John left the room so that he could play with the others. I was lying in the bed and my clothes had been discarded on the floor somewhere nearby. I slept peacefully in that hell hole.

I woke up at about three o’clock that morning to John climbing in bed beside me. I moaned and rolled over. I couldn’t fall asleep though. John was out like a light as soon as his head touched the pillow. His hand rested on my naked breast and his other arm had drawn me close to his body. I cuddled up beside him, because the blankets didn’t really provide much protection from the biting cold. Stu was above us and at it with some blond with big knockers. I sighed and just laid there staring up at the mattress above John and me, expecting it to cave in on top of us. I gave the mattress a swift kick and heard Stu swear and he toned it down for a few minutes and was back at it again. I sighed and just rested my head on John’s warm and sweaty chest.

There wasn’t much room for privacy unless John and I were in the shower together. George kept his distance from me. I knew he was hurt because of what happened. We were happy. John still had yet to tell me that he loved me. It was hard for him to commit to anything, so I knew that he would have trouble saying it, but I could feel it every time he looked at me. I knew that once he said it that it would be easier for him. We’d been in Hamburg for about a week. Stu and the others had a new girl every night.

It was on a Friday night when I decided to see a bit of Hamburg. I went to the Top Ten Club, because that was where Rory Storm and the Hurricanes were playing. I wanted to see one of their sets. John and the guys were playing another all nighter. When I got there I heard the music blasting out of the door. I went in and sat at the closest seat to the stage. They were good although the Beatles were better these guys were still good. I was wearing a pair of black leather pants, and a bright pink frilly blouse. The blouse had a low neckline, but it was still presentable. About an hour after I got there the guys went on a break and that was going to last for an hour. I waved at them and they joined me at my table. I ordered a round of pints and we began to talk.

“Hullo, luv, and what’s your name?” Ringo asked me.

“Olivia, Olivia Kenton, but everyone calls me Liv. Your set was great. Mind if I join you on stage for your next number?” I asked.

They were shocked that I had a Liverpudlian accent and the fact that I’d asked to join them on stage. Rory had come off stage with his guitar. He still had his guitar with him. I took it from him and began to play a few cords to ‘Love Me Tender’. They looked stunned, but impressed.

“Where’d you learn to play?” Rory asked.

I gave them the whole ‘It just comes natural’ monologue. Rory and Ringo were both trying to get and keep my attention. I laughed at their attempts. We talked, drank, smoked, and laughed. I was having a great time. Ringo was the kindest person although he looked really tough with the grey stripe in his hair. When they rejoined me after their second set, I knew I had these guys hooked. The inevitable question of who I was here with was asked by Ringo.

“I’m here with the Beatles. I just came for fun, not for work, and I’m staying with them, although the horrible place that they are staying at is a little bunk house above a porn film theater,” I sighed.

“Bloody hell a girl like you staying all alone with that group. How is that even possible? Can’t you find a place to stay?” Ringo asked. He looked appalled.

“Actually I’m with one of them,” I said.

“Which one?” Rory and Ringo asked in unison.

“John Lennon,” I sighed and then held my breath to prepare myself for the worst commentary on him.

“Oh, hell she’s John’s bird we’d better back off, aye Ringo?” Rory sighed and then left the table.

Ringo was about to leave when I grabbed his wrist and stopped him. “Sit down, I don’t bite and we were having such a nice conversation,” I said. He did as I asked and the conversation continued. Ringo and I became friends on the spot. We could talk about anything and I told him about my meager experiences playing the drums. I told him he was really good and all I could really do was just bang around. After all of their sets Ringo sat and talked with me during his break. Rory finally got over the initial shock of me being a claimed bird and we began to talk again too. I told them about some of the things I knew about recording, contracts, and managers and they were impressed.

“How old are you, and how do you know so much about record deals?” Rory asked.

“I’ve had experience in the field. Before I ended up in Liverpool I used to be in a band that was going to hit it big. Of course they wanted to keep me in the band, but it just wasn’t possible. I ended up getting sick and about a month ago I died and was brought to Liverpool, where I met the greatest bands in the world!” I took a big gulp of the pint that I’d ordered.

“You died?” Ringo asked.

“In the sense of the word yes, but here I am now, alive, well, and kicking ass!” I exclaimed and then burst out laughing.

“Oh, yeah I was a girl of the nineties, and I’ll die in about forty years,” I sighed.

The guys thought that I was kidding, and I told them to ask me anything about the future and I would tell them, and if it came true they would owe me one hundred pounds. They agreed to it. I smiled at them knowing that I’d just made an easy two hundred pounds.

“What does the future hold for me?” Ringo asked.

“Oh, that is so bloody easy, couldn’t you have asked something a bit more complicated? In two years the Beatles are going to get a recording contract and the producer of the studio, George Martin, won’t like Pete Best so they bring you in as the drummer. He won’t like you at first, but you’ll grow on him and the Beatles will become an international phenomena, and you’ll be a part of the best fucking band in the world,” I said whimsically.

“Oh, she’s either really soft, knows what she’s talking about, or she’s drunk out of her mind. Well if it doesn’t happen it will be the easiest money I’ve ever made!” Rory said and then they took a quick drink and went back up on stage. I stayed through a few more breaks and then I decided that I had to get back to the Kaiserkeller. The streets were lit by bright neon signs. I was walking by some sort of store when I heard the footsteps behind me. I quickened my pace and the person behind me sped up as well. I was beginning to get really scared. A lump of fear was forming in my throat. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I was only a couple of blocks away from the club when I felt someone grab me. They dragged me into some alley and they were muttering in German. He was really broad, nothing but muscle, to well built for my taste. He hit me and I heard my clothing being ripped. I couldn’t really see to well. He kept hitting and then he I felt him ripping at my pants. I felt blood dripping into my mouth, and the coppery taste was awful. I heard him unzip. I fought like mad, I was bucking and scratching, and I even kneed him in the groin, but the guy was all muscle. When he was done he hit me a few more times and then left me there. My clothing was ripped and I was bloody, bruised, and a horrible beaten mess.

Somehow I manage to crawl to the door of the club, but I collapsed and I just couldn’t get up again. I laid there on the cold sidewalk. I heard someone walk out of the place and gasp, then I felt strong arms picking me up and carrying me up some stairs. I was placed in a bed and covers were pulled up around me. Whoever it was that found me was now washing my face off with a wash cloth. The light hurt my right eye which was the only one that I could open at the time. Then he began to speak, “Bloody hell Olivia are you all right? What the fuck happened to you?”

“George, I was walking back from the Top Ten Club when I was attacked. I was so scared and it hurt so much. Why’d it have to happen? Why the fuck did it have to happen to me?” I began to sob.

George held me as my sobs grew louder and stronger and racked through my body. How could this have happened to me? No one deserved this. I sat there and cried like I’d never cried before, even when I’d found out that I was going to die, I never cried as hard. Someone was standing near the door I could hear his sharp breathing. Then he stormed into the room.

“What the fuck happened? What are you doing to her?” John said.

He grabbed George by the collar and was lifting him up and away from me. George protested, but that didn’t stop John. Finally I sat up in bed. Holding the sheet around my ravaged body. “John,” I croaked, “George didn’t do anything. He found me by the entrance of the club. I was lying there, and I couldn’t get up. It happened about a block and a half away from here. This guy just dragged me into an alley, and he… George helped me. Stop John he didn’t do anything, it was some German guy.”

Paul and Stu slowly made there way into the room as John put George down and came over to hold me as more tears slid down my face, and more sobs racked my body. He sat beside me on the bed and I buried my face in his shoulder. I didn’t want anyone seeing me like this. John looked down at me and held me back for a moment. He lifted my chin and I saw tears sliding down his face. He kissed me, a soft gentle kiss. He helped me to the lavatory and let me take a shower and got me some clothes. I stayed in the shower for a long time. When I finally got out of the shower I felt a bit better although that unclean feeling still stayed with me. I crawled into bed and laid there as the tears slid down my face. My left eye was bruised and so swollen that I couldn’t open it. John carefully wrapped his arms around me and held me. He drew me close to him and kissed me throat. I wrapped myself into a tight ball and John wrapped himself around me. I sighed and resigned myself to sleep.

I tossed and turned the whole night through. Whenever I woke up and felt John’s arms around me I felt like screaming, but whenever I remembered that John was the one holding me I calmed down. It was a restless sleep and every time I woke up I felt like crawling into the deepest hole imaginable. John pulled me closer to him into his arms. Tears flooded my eyes and leaked every time I thought about what happened. I was shaking. My tossing and turning woke up John. He turned me over so that I was facing him and then said, “Oh, love, don’t cry. It isn’t your fault. If I ever find that sick bastard I’d fucking kill him, but chances of finding him. Olivia, please just don’t cry. I know this is hell. I can’t imagine anything like that happening.”

He looked close to tears himself. He touched my bruised face and wiped away my tears. With his other hand he brushed my hair out of my face and tilted my chin up so he could kiss me. I was bewildered. How could he kiss me. I saw myself in the mirror, I looked horrible. More tears broke through and rolled down my cheeks.

“How can you kiss me? I look horrible, feel like shit, and fuck I just want to crawl into the deepest hole available and die,” I sobbed.

Stu looked down at us from the top bunk. I yanked the sheet over my head and the sobs really took over. I felt like screaming and hitting whatever was closest to me. I began to hit the wall and John grabbed my arms to keep me from hurting myself. I wrapped my arms around him and nearly suffocated him with my grip.

“I don’t want you to die. I’m glad that you’re here with me. Christ I kiss you because I love you. I love you, Olivia and I want you to be here with me. I want to protect you and be there for you. I don’t want you be scared of anything. I’m so fucking sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you tonight. I didn’t even know where you went. Had I been with you I would have killed the fucking prick. Please stop crying. Hit me if you want to. Hit me until you feel better, but please stop hurting yourself,” John whispered in my ear. He sounded so desperate.

“I don’t want to hit you, I just want to erase everything bad from tonight. Why’d this have to happen to me? Why couldn’t I just have made it home without all that happening?” I asked and then I noticed that the others were up, except for Pete, that guy slept like a ton of bricks.

George was up and walking over towards us and Paul was pulling on a pair of pants and heading our way. Stu jumped off of his bunk and sat on the bed beside John. They gathered around me, and I was still in John’s arms. I didn’t want them to see me like this. I was falling apart and breaking down. I felt three more pairs of arms wrap around me and hold me in an awkward, but tight embrace. After a few minutes of sitting there and trying to gather my wits about me I realized that John had told me that he loved me. I looked up at him all teary-eyed.

I sighed, “John, say it again. Tell me again.”

“Tell you what love?” He asked.

“Was I dreaming when you said ‘I love you’?”

“No, love, you weren’t. I’ve loved you from the first. I just didn’t know how to say it until I saw you hurting. I’m sorry that I said it now after all of this. I wish that I’d said it sooner. I love you, Olivia Kelley, and you’ll be stuck with me for life. I swear, Liv, I swear it!” John proclaimed and his embraced grew stronger as his arms grew tighter around me.

“I thought her name was Olivia Kenton,” A very confused Paul said.

“No, mate, it’s a long story and I doubt that she wants to go into that right now,” Stu said.

After I calmed down the guys went back to their bunks. The bed shook when Stu jumped up and got situated on his bunk. John looked up and noticed how the mattress was sagging and bouncing. He gave the mattress a swift kick and said, “Hey, mate, tone it down a bit. Wouldn’t want to wake up with your bloody bed on top of us now would we?”

I looked at John and smiled a slow awkward smile. I knew everything was going to be all right. John loved me and he was joking around. I grinned a bit, gave a swift kick to the mattress, and agreed with John.

“Bloody hell, all right all ready! I’ll be still if you’ll quit kicking this fucking piece of shit mattress!” Stu shouted.

That was how that awful night ended. I still felt safe in John’s arms, and now I was certain that John loved me. I knew that it took a lot for a man to say what he felt, especially when it came to love. When I woke up my body ached all over and I had one hell of a headache. I clutched my head and ran to the lavatory, where I threw up. After wards I just leaned against the wall until I could gather up enough strength to carry me back to bed. I was just getting up when I heard someone come in behind. George helped me up and asked if I was okay. I groaned, but managed a nod without getting too dizzy. He helped me back to bed and John sleepily woke up noticed me then wrapped his arms around me drawing me closer to him.

Everything else about that day still remains a blur. I can sometimes see some images of that day in dreams, but never anything that sticks in my mind for very long. I felt horrible for about a week, both physically and mentally. The bruises and cuts were gone after about a week and the swelling went down in my eye. The bruise surrounding my eye took about a week and half to heel. I didn’t leave the room where we were staying for that first week (actually I only left to go to the lavatory). John would bring something to eat, and I drank a lot of water, on occasion I’d drink a rum and coke.

After that first week John got tired of me feeling sorry for myself. He picked me up, carried me to the lavatory, and turned on the shower. He held me under the water and it was ice cold. I screamed and then he left the room. He came back a few moments later with my clothes and was followed by a very bewildered Paul, George, and Stu. They came to see why I’d screamed.

“Now that I have you up, take a shower, and get dressed. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. It happened and I’m sorry that it happened, but you need to get past it, so that we can go on. You’ll be fine. Get cleaned up and we’ll talk when you’re out,” John said nonchalantly.

I did as John said, and the water felt renewing. What John said kept running through my mind, and I knew that he was right. It happened and there was nothing that could be done about it. I had to get over everything and get on with my life. John was enough to get me through this hard time, after all he actually loved me. I got out of the shower, dried off, and got dressed. I put on some make-up and then I went into the room I was sharing with guys.

John looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back, although to me it felt awkward. How could John still love me after all that happened. He got up and wrapped his arms around me and all the of the fears that were building inside of me died away. John held me tightly in a bear hug. I looked up and kissed him. He continued to hold me as the others left the room, leaving John and I to be alone together.

“You’re so beautiful love. You’ll always be beautiful to me. Don’t you forget that. I love you, and I never thought that I’d ever have the guts to actually tell you. Fuck love, look at me. I’m completely fucking amazed that I got the words out. I want you to be the happiest you’ve ever been! We have to forget about all of…” John’s expression changed to hate when he thought of what that monster had done to me. “Let’s just forget about that and remember all of the happy moments.”

“I agree with you. I love you, too. I think that forgetting about that night is the best thing,” I sighed.

“I want to know one thing before we bury that. Where were you?” He asked.

“I went to see Rory Storm and the Hurricanes. I met a nice guy named Richard Starkey, everyone calls him Ringo, though. Do you know him?” I replied.

“Know him? He’s one of the best drummers around. So you have a few new friends I presume?” He grinned.

“Yes, and in two years I’ll win a bet and one hundred pounds.”

“Cheating are you? You already know what’s going to happen so you just suckered him for one hundred pounds?” John tsk tsked.

We talked a bit longer about my encounter with Ringo and then Stu came up to tell us that the group was on. I walked down with John. That was the first time that I’d left the room to go any where other than the lavatory. I sat at one of the closest tables to the stage. The guys were getting ready on stage and were setting up instruments. I noticed that Stu kept looking at a table where two guys with dark hair sat, and a petite girl with short blond hair looked up at him and winked. Stu had found Astrid. I’d seen some of her pictures of the guys and I knew that she did great work. She was a marvelous photographer.

The guys were about half an hour into their set when someone tapped me on my shoulder. I jumped and then heard a familiar male voice laughing. I got up and hugged Ringo. He laughed and then joined me. He ordered a scotch and coke and I ordered the same. We were watching the guys and talking about a lot of things. I asked him what he was doing there and he told me that the Top Ten had scheduled another band to play for that night so him and the rest of Rory’s band had gotten the night off. I was a bit surprised that he’d come to see the Beatles and me, but I was definitely pleased.

When the guys got off stage for their break John rushed over to the table, grabbed my drink, downed it, nodded to Ringo and then dragged me off to meet Astrid. I beckoned Ringo to join us and he did. We sat down at the table and talked with Klaus, Jurgen, and Astrid. We were laughing at something that John was saying, more of his fascinating wit and charm. I loved Astrid’s accent, hell I loved Klaus and Jurgen’s accents as well. They were different, fascinating, and wonderful to listen too. The people were as exotic as their voices. They weren’t a part of the teddy boy St. Paulie district of Hamburg. They were classier and knew about art and poetry. They were beatniks I suppose. When the guys went back on stage they wanted me to join them. I decided why the hell not and got up there with them. Ringo stayed at the table with Astrid, Klaus, and Jurgen.

I got up there and took Stu’s bass so that he could go down there and be with Astrid. I got up there and told them to play ‘That’ll Be the Day’, and we did a few more songs where I sang vocals and Paul and John backed me. Ringo looked blown away and even Stu and Astrid were impressed and during ‘Heartbreak Hotel’ I went into one hell of a bass solo, that left all of the guys speechless. Everyone was looking up at the stage at the girl who was ripping it up on stage. People were getting up and dancing and I continued to play bass, but the guys took over with the vocals from there. John kept stealing glances at me as I played. I’d look up and smile at him. I played the rest of the sets and Stu left with Astrid, Klaus, and Jurgen.

Ringo ended up getting really smashed so he crashed on Stu’s bunk. John and I just laid in the bed and whispered. John was impressed by my playing. We talked about recording and playing and what we wanted out of life. John asked me about my old family from the nineties. I told him that my mother had died after my sister Hannah was born, I never knew my father and I’d been raised by my grandmother, and then by an aunt when my grandmother had died. We talked the night away, but eventually we fell asleep.

When John and I woke up it was about two o’clock the next day. Everyone else was up, even Ringo. John and I climbed out of the bed, got dressed, and clamored downstairs to look for the others. They were downstairs sitting at the bar eating corn flakes. They looked up and saw us. Ringo smiled at us. We sat down at the bar with them and fixed us a bowl of corn flakes. Afterwards we sat and talked about everything and nothing and then Ringo went back to the Top Ten Club and we all just sat around and jammed. We were really rocking when Stu and Astrid came by. He had his arm around her shoulder and they were kissing.

John made a face their way. I just smiled at them and continued to play. I began to go off into my own world, and I began to play this weird bass line. The other guys picked up on it and began to harmonize on it. Stu and Astrid were watching me and wondering where that was coming from. The bass line had some great riffs and flowed very smoothly. When I came to the end of the melody that had me gripped I looked up to confront a series of surprised faces.

“That was wonderful, but it felt so sad,” Astrid said.

“Well it was definitely heartfelt. I really don’t know where that came from. It just came to me and I had to play it,” I sighed. I knew why that song had been filled with sadness and pain. It was a reflection of what had happened.

“Fuck, whatever that was, it was beautiful. Christ, Liv, they were crazy to have let you leave that band!” John said.

Paul and Pete looked really confused and George, Stu, and I just stared at him with that ‘you just had to open your big fucking mouth!’ look. John just turned to face me with that ‘what did I do now?’ look and I shook my head. Astrid appeared to be a bit confused too. I just sat back in my chair and began to strum a few cords of heartbreak hotel. I was hoping that I could stall until they forget what John said, but unfortunately that didn’t happen.

“You were in a band? How old are you really? I never saw any band with a bird as a bass player!” Paul said.

“I’m nineteen. Damn it why do people ask me that fucking question? Yes I was in a band, but they had to drop me. I’m not really Olivia Kenton. My name is Olivia Kelley and I just look like her. I used to live in California, where I was born, but something happened and I ended up in Liverpool. I don’t know how or why, it just happened,” I said.

“You’re American, too?” Paul continued.

Somehow I managed to speak using my original voice. I don’t know how I found it, because I’d been speaking like any other Liverpudlian, but my American accent came as natural as my Liverpudlian accent as soon as I got the words out, “Yes, I was American, once.”

I quickly switched back to the Liverpudlian accent, “Please don’t ask any questions.”

The subject was changed and we began to talk about all kinds of things. Stu and Astrid were now going out. Much to John’s surprise, because as he’d told me, Astrid and Klaus had been together for a long time. I just simply shrugged when he told me. Stu and Astrid looked happy together and that’s all that mattered. They scheduled a publicity photo shoot with her for Saturday at one thirty. Stu joined in the jam session and I gave him some advice on where he placed his hands on the neck of his bass. I was really beginning to think that John was too soft on Stu. Sure he picked at Stu, but he always came to his defense if anyone began to give him a hard time. They were really close.

We jammed for a bit longer, but then the guys had to get ready for the set. The club was opening and they only had an hour before the guys had to go on. A couple of strippers took to the stage after the guys got their instruments set up. I joined them backstage, because I didn’t really look forward to a bunch of girls stripping. John laughed at me because I was blushing. I faced the guys, and I managed to keep my back to the stage, so that I wouldn’t see all that was going on up there. Obviously it was getting really rough. I noticed that Paul and John were discussing something and the next thing I knew they were bursting out laughing. When they saw my confused expression they laughed even harder.

“What’re you two on about?” I asked.

“We were just thinking of a way to keep the attention of the crowd,” John said.

Paul’s eyebrows arched as he giggled, and then John continued, “Do you think that they just come to hear the music? They want to see a show too. Hell we have to keep their attention. I have a plan!” John laughed an evil laugh and then pulled me in close for a kiss. I still had reservations about being touched, but I was getting over that, and I loved John.

The guys were about to go on when John took a quick trip to the loo. When he came out and went up on stage he had a toilet seat hanging around his neck. I let my face fall into my hands in an exasperated and embarrassed expression. I shook my head and then looked up to see if maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me. John was still up there with that damn toilet seat around his neck. Well he was right, it kept the audiences attention. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Astrid sit down beside me. She looked up at the stage and noticed John.

“Is John crazy now? He must be really drunk. Why is he doing that?” She asked with a smile on her face.

“John has always been crazy, he’s getting drunk, and he wants to keep the audience’s attention. Don’t worry I’ll make sure that he never lives it down,” I sighed as I shook my head again. We had a good laugh about it and I shot the bird to John while he was on stage. He nearly fell off of the stage from laughing, luckily Paul was singing, although they all glared at him when his hand slipped on the wrong cord. He blushed with embarrassment, and then looked down at me with the biggest grin imaginable on his face.

When they got off of stage they ran over to us. Stu nearly broke his neck while hurrying to get to Astrid. John ran at the same break neck speed to me. He ordered a round of pints and soon we were drinking and in high spirits. We laughed over John’s antics at keeping an audience and said that maybe Paul should try wearing a skirt next time. They all got a good laugh out of that, especially after the face Paul made.

“Hey you’re a bird and you despise skirts, so I doubt that I’d like it too much either!” Paul said.

“He does have a point, luv,” George agreed.

I just stuck my tongue out at them and they grinned and had a nice chat about how mature I was. I kept chiding John, telling him how he should talk considering how he wore a toilet seat on stage. Of course Astrid got pictures of that so that John couldn’t deny it. Astrid always carried a camera around with her. She said that you never knew when the moment would arise when you wanted to take a picture. I was glad that I would have pictures of John’s stunning performance. Oh the memories that we would laugh at in the years to come.