Hamburg passed by in a blur. When the manager of the Top Ten Club tried to get the Beatles to play there, Bruno the owner of the Kaiserkeller got pissed and reported to the authorities that George was under aged. In Germany you had to be at least eighteen to play the clubs and George would be eighteen in February. George had been the first to be deported, followed by Pete and Paul. Bruno obviously didn’t think that lighting a condom in the hallway on the other side of the stage was very funny. John and I stayed for a couple of days. Stu ended up quitting the band and staying in Germany. He proposed to Astrid and moved in with her. John took it really hard, but he respected Stu’s decision.

When we came back to Liverpool Paul and George were there to pick us up. Pete was stuck at home due to a severe hangover. We told them about how Stu stayed behind with Astrid. Stu said that I could stay at his flat, and I did have some money to pay rent. I did get a job at a small odds and ends shop, and at nights I took a few gigs singing in clubs. Sometimes John would crash at my place. I sent Stu’s paintings to him in Germany. I kept in touch with Stu and Astrid and wrote them regularly. I was beginning to become a bit sociable. Quite a few people enjoyed some of my sets and I got paid well enough. I enjoyed having an independent life, I didn’t really worry about much, because I always had enough money, considering how I had two jobs.

John became a frequent visitor to my flat. It appeared as though he and Mimi were on the outs again. She didn’t like the fact that he was in a band of street scruffs. Of course she constantly brought up how he couldn’t make a living off of making all of that noise which he called music. Of course all she had to do was here the twang of a guitar and she got a headache. Not all people can have good taste I’m afraid. In about a week they were going back to Hamburg. I’d decided to stay behind in Liverpool, because I needed to earn money to keep my flat. George had just turned eighteen and according to the guys they had a better job awaiting them at the Top Ten where Rory Storm and the Hurricanes were playing. I was just glad they were happy and I was hoping that the living conditions would be better this time.

John came close to moving in with me a couple of times. I couldn’t blame him considering the pressure with his home life certainly was building. I was living quite comfortably. I did a bit of redecorating. I’d found some interesting materials at the little shop that I worked on. I found moon shaped candle holders, and some dark blue curtains and some bright green curtains. The flat had a hardwood floor. It took me nearly three hours to get the floor good and clean. Damn what the hell did Stu do to his floor? I got the curtains set up, and basically everything varied from two specific colors, dark blue and bright green. I got some new sheets and pillows for my bed. It took me a long time to really clean out the refrigerator. I couldn’t even begin to describe the horror that was that fridge. I still shudder to think about it. All in all the falt looked wonderful and reflected me when I was done with it. I ended up keeping Stu’s old couch, it was very comfortable and what if Stu came back and wanted to crash? I got a couple of dark blue upholstered chairs, and I needed a new kitchen table and the chairs in the kitchen had to be replaced too.

John and the guys had left before I got my flat completely finished. They’d be gone for two whole months. Longer if the owner of the Top Ten wanted to extend the contracts. It would be a long time before I saw John again. I could always write to him, but it still wouldn’t be the same. Two long months without that bastard, hell how would I manage? I could barely hold out for two hours without him. I took to working longer hours at the little shop, and I made more money, and I took a couple of more singing jobs. I brought in a good bit of quid, and I was living well. I steered clear of my family. I hadn’t seen any of them in a couple of months. I thought that to be a relief because it would have been rather awkward after all that time.

When I wasn’t singing, working, or at the flat I was doing the whole club scene thing. I went to all kinds of places. The Cavern was the main place that I always showed up at, of course the Cavern was usually where I sang at. I also went to the Blue Angel a few times, although if you asked me the Cavern was a bit more wilder than the Blue Angel. I began to sing a few soul songs from people like the Supremes and Arethra Franklin. I was the only bird in the pool that only need a drum and an extra guitar to back me and I always managed to have that covered. I did do a lot of rocking songs that the guys usually sang, because my voice was actually very deep considering and I could shriek and rock just as loud and hard as the guys. I actually caught a lot of attention in and it got packed rather quickly when I played there. I got a raise in payment for playing the Cavern, but I really didn’t do it for the money, I just played, because I enjoyed it, the money was just a very good bonus.

I wrote to John and told him about my success. He was thrilled to hear that I was so well off. He was doing well, and the guys were still popular around Hamburg. Their sets were shorter, because Rory Storm and the Hurricanes took to the stage as well, and they were being well paid. I did send a couple of letters to Ringo and he responded although his letters were often short and not very frequent. I thought that it was sweet that he would reply. I always kept in touch with Stu and found out that he was accepted into some really great art college in Hamburg. He was very pleased by that and I was thrilled for him. What could I say, Stu deserved as much success as the next fellow.

I do remember one of John’s letters particularly well:

Dearest Olivia,

So been rocking the ‘Pool have you? Good keep it warm for us. We definitely want to try our luck at the Cavern considering your lucky break! Hamburg is still the same. Paul was in a bit of a scrape a day or two ago, but this local German (one of the few anti-Nazis mind you) Horst helped him. Did I mention that I love you, and miss you (and your lovely lacy knickers…) terribly. I know you are probably thinking I’m impossible. Well love when I get back all the things we are going to do together will make up for that… Trust me there!

Stu, Astrid, and that lot come to every show. The room we are staying at is very close to the Hurricanes! Ringo crashes in our room every chance he gets though. Says our room is closer and then he just falls on a mattress and boom he’s gone. Nothing can wake that bloke up once he’s out (unless you count that bucket of ice, but I regretted that afterwards…). Oh, if any of the guys write you and tell you that I was standing on a street corner in me long underwear reading the paper, well let me set the record straight. Love I was drunk and it was a dare, and they weren’t long. I was wearing briefs for Christ Sakes! Fuck that was one hell of a breeze! I was out there for five minutes and if you don’t believe me Astrid took pictures. When we become famous I’m going to have the most recognised bum in the world! That reminded me of you though. When I came rushing back in to get me clothes on and hop into bed you weren’t there to sleep beside me and warm my freezing ass up. Although I doubt you would have wanted to be sleeping by an ice block all night. I got the sniffles afterwards. Oh, well only a small price to pay for all the extra money I get. I get half of Paul, George, and Pete’s salary! Ha I’m the richest band member!

Other than missing you terribly, I’m completely happy drinking and singing the time away, and loving you. Aw, love I can’t wait to get home to you, and be near you, hold you, and make love to (fuck) you all night long. I want you to lie naked in me arms all sweaty and sticky… Oh, hell I’ve gone and done it again… I’m all hard on for you love. I gotta go to the loo with the Brigitte Bardot centerfold again, whenever Paulie gets his arse outta there! Well I gotta head out. We have an all nighter ahead and the Hurricane’s set is about over. Be home soon and loving and missing you terribly!

Love,

Johnny (unfortunately I still lie over that Sea…)
Your Johnny lies over the ocean,
. Your Johnny lies over the sea…

I laughed as I read it. Only John could say it like that. Oh the thought of him missing my lacy knickers made me giggle and blush like a schoolgirl! My eyebrows arched when I read over John’s little bet, oh that wonder though of John’s freezing and future famous bum. Oh well at least it made for a great story to tell in the future. John also told me about the record that the boys were playing back up on. Of course I had to head out and get it as soon as it was released. Only three more weeks and the boys would be home. Oh how that first month had dragged out. The days seemed to have gone on forever. I wrote John back:

My Johnny,

Fuck that sea! Swim it if you have to! I could try swimming what do you think? I’m missing you terribly. The money is great here, but fuck it, I want to be there with you. I miss being in your arms so much, and everything about you. I love you too! I want you to succeed and all of that, but I also want you here with me. Call me selfish, but that’s what I want! Is it wrong to want you that much? I’m completely soft on you, but if I catch you with another girl’s knickers, your arse will be worse off and you would be willing to put the Sleeping “Beauty” in front of an avalanche than face me. That Brigitte Bardot centerfold better be the only bird in your life and she better be TEMPORARY!!!

Playing at the Cavern is great although I lost another drummer. Guys sure as hell don’t like working for birds! Hell the pay was good, but he quit because of his mates getting him on about working for a bird. Hell I’m one of the best paid acts in Liddypol. I’ll be looking for your record soon enough by the way. Hey when you come back bring me a copy. I doubt that I’ll be able to find it here. Hey I forgot to ask about the guys last time. How is Paul? Was it a big fight? I’m glad you met a nice bloke who is German. Now you can quit saying all those fucking Germans that aren’t artsy are fucking nazis. See a good lesson came from Hamburg.

Thank you for thinking about my knickers. You had me blushing and giggling like a bloody schoolgirl. Bloody hell you are impossible and you better make up for your impossibilities. I mean it too. I would love to see those pictures I’m going to ask Astrid about them whenever I get to write her and Stu. How is Stu? Is he still getting those headaches? Please John, PLEASE make him see a doctor about that.

Well now that I’m over the whole horny, mother hen bit. I want to hear everything that you’ve missed about me. I don’t care if you get hard doing it or not! I’ll tell you what I miss most about you… EVERYTHING! I love you! I miss you like crazy, and I got some new lacy knickers (just for you…)! Promise to come home in one bloody peace and tell the boys I said Hullo! Oh and has George been busy with the birds? I’ve been worrying about him ever since you and I got together. I want to make sure that he is getting on well enough. I’m sure that he is, but I’m just checking… I suppose that’s everything. Oh, I ran into your aunt at the grocers the other day. She didn’t appear to be to pleased with me. I think she believes that I’m the one that made you fall deeper into the music scene, not to mention I’m not the classic good girl next door type. I probably fall under the long list of tarts in her dictionary! I have the flat all fixed up now, so expect a shock when you get back, and if you mess up you clean up. Food in the fridge is only allowed to stay in there until the expiration date. I’m warning you now, there are no exceptions with that rule. You wouldn’t believe half of the icky things I found in there.

Well love now I have to go. The Cavern doesn’t wait… At least not to long. Well I’m off!

Love,
Olivia

PS
Don’t lie over the sea for too long, wouldn’t want you falling in!

Of course John couldn’t help but write back:

Liv,

Nothing like a bit of cold water to take care of me arse. Hell I wouldn’t be any good to you if I swam, but I miss you enough to consider the offer, although I doubt you’d want to put up with a half frozen Johnny on your hands. Don’t worry love, I’ll be back soon. Stu still won’t go to the fucking doctor. He is beginning to worry Astrid now. Oh, well, the bastard has a thick fucking head, but he is one of me best mates. Is there something you know? Because you seem to be really desperate to get Stu to go to a doctor. Ah, well, love.

I’m still loving you and missing you like mad. I’ve been wanking off constantly in the loo, but I’m tired of seeing Brigitte Bardot! I want you, hell I want to touch you, cover your body in kisses, get all hot, sweaty and sticky. Damn it, there I go again. See what the very thought of you does to me! Fuck, now Paul’s in the loo! All of the guys are beginning to wonder about what I do in the loo. I don’t think that they think what I’m doing is natural. They are right, because you are NATURal.

How is playing at the Cavern? Getting any offers. Have you written anything? Paul and I are actually writing a few things here and there. Pete got stinking ass drunk last night, so Ringo played with us. He was like a missing link (just don’t let anyone know that I told you. He has a feel for the way we play, and he’s a whole hell of a lot better than Pete…). What was that bet about that you made with Ringo any road, because right after he played with us, he just seemed to be in complete shock afterward. Working your magic, aye? I’ll probably find out later. George had the place swinging with “Three Cool Cats”. The fucking nazis love it. It feels great to be working and actually having an audience rather than a bunch of nazis sailors looking at the knockers of some stripper on the stage, while we’re playing. This place is great.

Do be ready soon, because, baby I’ll bee busy as a be, getting back to my baby!

All My Loving I Seend to YOU!

Johnny

PS If that sea weren’t so cold, I’d bee seeing you soon. Love ya birdy, and sea ya soon…
Damn I still lie over that fucking see…

PPS Do you have an extra pair of those lovely lacy knickers of yours… Oh the things I have planned for you and me… I love you, and be sure to wear something fetchy (lacy, and EASY to get in and out of…)…

I couldn’t believe the letter. John was definitely something else. I was so happy to hear from him. He was a genius on word plays too. My love was multi talented.

Johnny,

I’ll bee seaing you soon then? Well that is good, because I’m not sure how much longer I can wait. For you I’ve waited a lifetime, and I think one of those constitutes as enough. Don’t you agree? Don’t worry I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of what I have planned for us. My oh my, I’m being naughty, I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise.

Now with that little intrigue out of the way onto more important matters, like… I’m daft over missing you! I love you, and I need you NOW! You have a Brigitte Bardot, but don’t worry Brigitte will be replaced soon.

So how are the guys? Our little Paulie isn’t sporting anymore black eyes I hope. George getting on well with all the nazi birds? Tell Richie to get ready to pay up in a few years! I suppose that is all for now. Oh, and you see to it that Stu sees a doctor! He needs some medical attention, because those headaches are bad news, trust me there.

Loving You,

Liv

P.S. You won’t be over that sea for much longer, baby, and then we can heat up good ole Liddypol!

That was the last letter I sent off. A week later I was waiting at the docks, for my John to come running down the gang plank and into my awaiting arms. I stood out on the docks for nearly an hour waiting along with George’s mother and Paul’s girlfriend, Dot. We were talking about the usual small talk chats, mostly about the weather. Finally a horrible looking boat docked and a gang plank was lowered. I looked up hopefully. The first one off was Pete, followed by Paul and George. I was a bit confused. Where was John? I stared at the boat as crates and the guys’ luggage was lowered down, but none of the luggage was John’s. I was really beginning to worry by then.

A few moments later the hope of seeing John running off the gang plank into my arms was crushed. Some crates were lifted on to the dingy looking boat and then it set sail. I knew that the disappointment was etched all over my face. I felt completely helpless. Had he found someone else? As I was about to walk away and head home to my flat to cry, I felt an arm around my shoulder. George was by my side. Ever devoted George. I looked up at him, knowing that my eyes were filled with tears.

“Oh, Liv, he’ll be back. He said that he had something to take care of first love. He gave me a letter to give to you. I hope he gives you a good reason for not being here, because if not I’ll have to thump the wanker. Well me mum’s waiting to get me home. Need a ride to your flat?” George said as he handed me an envelope and was heading to his mum’s car.

I shook my head no and so he quickly loaded his luggage in the boot and then he got in the car. He’d been the last to leave. I was standing at the dock clutching the envelope in my tightly clenched fist, still wondering what would have kept John. I ended up walking around and found myself by my special tree in Sefton Park. I sat down against its tired old trunk and opened the letter.

Liv,

I know that you expected me home by now, but I took your advice about Stu. I ended up dragging the bastard to the doc’s office. Astrid helped me out and between the both of us, we got him some help. Oh, Liv, he could have died! You knew, didn’t you. Thanks for saving him, I owe you so much now.

Of course I still miss you. I’ll be home in about a week. Are your brother and cousin still sore at you for being with me? Well I hope things are working out for you. I’ll be home soon and who knows, maybe we’ll end up getting married someday. I hope so. You are definitely one of those birds that’s a keeper.

I want to lock you away in my heart, and keep you all to meself. I’ll visit your flat as soon as I get back and we’ll make up for this lost week. Then who knows what else I will make up for right? Can’t wait till then. Be sure and tell the guys that I’ll be back in a week, so they can begin looking for gigs.

Anymore flat rules I should know about? That fridge rule sounds a bit harsh wouldn’t you say? Well I’ll just deal with that so I can be with you.

Always on my Mind,

Johnny (I’ll be bad for you love, because I got it good for ya!)

A tear fell on the note as I realized that I was crying. Of all the things that I expected this had been the least expected. John had listened to me and I saved Stu’s life. Joy filled every part of me. I felt like continuing to cry and begin laughing. After I watched the sun set I headed back to my flat. I had the night off from the Cavern and I had an idea for a new song. As soon as I got home I grabbed my guitar, a pencil, some paper, and set off to work.