Gullible Travels
(From TV Week, vol 24, no 28, July 10-16, 1998)
We take a Trip Inside the Murky, Manic Mind of Lonely Planet's Ian Wright
By Robin Roberts
You'd have to be a bit of a nut to host a travel show like Lonely Planet. Fortunately, Ian Wright fits the bill. While many (including Wright) would say it's a dream job- what could be better than traveling the globe, discovering intriguing new lands and fascinating people, all for free- it has a nightmarish side, too. But the Suffolk-born Wright has the requisit temperament: he is, by his own admission, a big kid with the enthusiasm of a Mexican jumping bean. Wright was in Toronto last month to promote the show's fifth season, which debuts Tuesday with an episode about dog-sledding in the Canadian north- the first to be shot in Canada- so we pinned him down and journeyed inside the murky, manic recesses of his mind. With occasional, startling burts of shouts and song, Wright recounted highlights and lowlights of his days on the road.
TVW: Do you mind me asking how old you are?
IW:[in mock shock] Oh, how rude!! I'm 34, but I lie alot.
TVW:How many people are with you?
IW:What, you mean in this hotel room? Are you being rude again? What kind of magazine is this? No, there are 5 of us: camaraperson, soundperson, director, producer, and me. And someone from the country comes with us, because you have to have someone there who knows what's what. They know the score, where not to go, if there's somewhere dodgy.
TVW:And have you ever been in a dodgy situation?
IW:Not too dodgy. We were filming in a park in Japan and some people had formed a circle and I walked through it and they were about to come after me when they realized we were filming, but it looked like it was going to get nasty. But people are mostly quite enthusiastic about what you're doing, and when you're traveling with 5 people you have a bit of a crackup.
TVW:Ever had to sleep somewhere you'd rather not?
IW:Oh, god, yes, loads of times! When me and my mate was hitching around Europe we slept in roundabouts. One time we camped by the Berlin Wall and they woke us up at 4 o'clock in the morning because they were knocking it down. Also in Berlin, you know, line in financial districts, they have little shubbery and trees, so we found a little blind spot where we camped out in tents for 3 days. In Haifa, we slept in this little alleyway in the shadows. The stupid things you do when you're young. Things that are potentially bloody dangerous!
TVW:Ever come close to being killed?
IW:Not when we've been filming, but when I've traveled alone I have. We were hitching in Germany and got picked up by this guy who was out of his head. He was a mercenary helicopter pilot who was showing us how to manoeuver a helicopter. He kept this thing up for days, we couldn't get out, we were stuck in the back of the car and all our bags were in back. Finally we thought we'd lost him on a ferry, but the bugger jumped the ferry and followed us. At the end of the day he was just a lonely old cod, but a lunatic!
TVW:Do you speak any languages?
IW:Yeah, English and bullshit.
Which one are you more fluent in?
IW:You can't tell? No, I'm bad enough in English. I can't read off scripts so everything [in the show] is made up. For me, it's all ad-libbed.
TVW:How sick have you been?
IW:Not too bad because I've got a body man of tin anyway. But if I eat rich foods I'm just down for the count.
TVW:Is there anything you've refused to eat?
IW:The only thing I've refused to eat was out here. We was in an Inuit house [near Iqauit, NWT] and they cut up a seal. Seal fat in an old traditional Inuit dish. Seal fat is mixed with what's squeezed out of the intestine of a ptarmigan. I'm sitting there looking at it and everyone's rolling on the floor because I've got this in front of me, and I'm thinking, "This smells like shit". And then I reckoned it could be a trick. They're thinking, "Right, Ian thinks we'll eat anything, let's see if he eats shit just for a laugh. Let's pretend it's a traditional dish". So I said, "I'm not eating it unless someone else has a go first". So someone else had a munch and then I had to taste it.
TVW:And?
IW:Ohhhh!! I'm not even going to go there!
Ever over-imbibed?
IW:I remember the pisco sour in Chile was pretty bad.
TVW:I've had those and didn't find them too bad.
Depends on how many you've had, honey! But no, I tend to drink too much because you cannot afford to be wiped out for days on the road. I wish somebody had taught me that in Baja. I had too much tequila and things went horribly pear-shaped.
TVW: Did you say "pear-shaped"?
IW:Yeah, you know, when things go wrong. I'm guessing it might have to do with your body. When you get to be about 40 and your body goes pear-shaped.
TVW:Speak for yourself!
IW:[laughing] OK!
TVW:Any bug stories?
IW:Hmmm. I've had a few ticks in me foot. They call them jiggers, black top with white eggs all around and you have to dig them out because you can't let the eggs break or they'll get inside you. Not nice.
TVW:Where do you want to go that you've never been before?
IW:Siberia. I'd like to go on the train that goes across. I quite fancy a couple of months trekking around the Arctic Circle.
TVW:Which country has the nicest people?
IW:Every country has wonderful people. Fijians are great.
TVW:Is there a country you would not go back to?
IW:There are a few, but they're going to be mystery ones!
TVW:Waht do you do on vacation?
IW: Nothing. I pick up the arts and crafts I did before. But I stay mostly at home and go out on weekends. I love England and to see bits of my own country.
TVW:Where to next?
IW:I'm off to Ireland; Galaway, Dublin, Belfast. All over. It's such a great place. It will be fantastic.
TVW:Are you getting rich from the job?
IW:You're too right I'm getting rich from it. I couldn't believe my first paycheque. But I'm a tight ass; I just put it all in the bank. I've never had a car in my life. I just cycle everywhere. I like second-hand shops. I'm not into new stuff at all. Even now, I have loads of money and I still haggle.
TVW:How long will you do the show?
IW:Till someone realizes I'm a charlatan. Until someone says, "Hold on, we pay him for this? No no no. Get out!" And I'll say, fiar cop. You've got me. But I'm dragging out as long as I can. I'm going to ride this baby, ride this surf!! It's the most absurd job ever. If my enthusiasm ever, ever dwindles then I'll get out. That's the only way, otherwise you'll have to drag me out, girl, I ain't leaving!
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