Once You've Loved Someone

Author's Note: I just wanted to add this "special" note to my fic. This stand alone is very dear to me since it was the first Manny fic that I had ever written. So, my inspiration to write a Manny fic came in the form of a Dixie Chicks cd. In many ways, I have to credit the Dixie Chicks for inspiring me to write Manny fan fic!!
Timeline: This fic takes place after Danny announces to Michelle that he is getting an annulment. These italicized quotes are from the March 31st show. I don’t own any of these characters….. Also, I have used a Dixie Chicks song… And if didn’t figure it out, this fic is from Danny’s POV.

I have written a companion song fic using another Dixie Chicks song from Michelle's POV. It will be coming soon

My head is starting to hurt again, but I have become so accustomed to the pain. I don’t care anymore. Nothing can hurt more than the pain in my heart. A heart. I actually get a laugh out of that. What heart? I don’t have a heart anymore, the only thing I have left are the shattered pieces. Michelle was the only person who had possession of my heart, and she was the only one, who had the power to shatter it.

Michelle. She was my angel, the one person who could have rescued me from a lonely and cold existance. It’s too damn bad, a voice whispers, that she didn’t want to love you, she only hated you. But something changed, even though she would not admitted it, I know that something changed. There was something different in her eyes that night at Towers. I saw the pain and hurt that I see in my own eyes. But it’s too late.

I should go out tonight
Get on with my life
Break these chains of solitude
With a little luck and a little help
I might even find myself
In the arms of someone new

Cause once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do
Once you've loved somebody
Like I loved you

That meeting at Towers was so painful, but it was something I had to do, I had to let her go. But why did it have to hurt so much? It was too late to turn back now. I just wish that I could forget her and move on, but it will never be that simple. Nothing about my brief marriage to Michelle would be simple. Only if she knew, that she will be the only one that I will ever truly love, that no other woman can ever replace her.

Look what you've gone and done
Ruined everything for anyone
Who tries to steal this heart away
I can't get you off of my mind
I've tried to tell myself a million times
A little time is all it takes

'Cause once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do
Once you've loved somebody
Like I loved you

Now, all I have is memories. Bittersweet memories. I never knew that I could feel this despair or emptiness. Mother thinks that this annulment will be able to erase those short months, and I am starting to believe that. Hell, I even told Michelle that. I wish that I would stop hearing those hateful words come out of my mouth. “Michelle, we never had a real marriage…We never did…”

I wish that was true, it would make things so much easier. It is ironic that after all those months, Michelle is trying to convice me that we did have a real marriage, those words that I had been longing for her to finally say. A bitter laugh echoes through my room. If she had only told me that before, if only…

I gave you everything that I had to give
I don't know if I can go that far again

'Cause once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do
Once you've loved somebody
Like I loved you

Tears being to roll down my face, as my eye catches the glint of a picture frame. My chest tightens as I walk over to the mantle, and pick up the picture. It is a picture from our wedding. Michelle was so scared, but she was so beautiful, and I was the happiest man on earth. Suddenly, I had been able to forget about my Mother, Mick, and the all threats. Michelle was the only thing that mattered. I promised myself that I would protect Michelle at any cost, even if I had to let her go, I would keep her safe. I just didn’t know how much it would hurt to give her up.

“Did you ever think that I might be doing this for myself? Maybe now, I can have a life.” Oh Michelle, you will never know how much I love you. The only life I wanted was with you. I wanted to give you the world. I never told her that I would dream about our future with our children and our grandchildren. Those dreams were my solace during those months. They will never come true, but they gave me a sense of peace, that I never had before.

“Michelle, you can have your life back like you never lost it. Like whatever happened between us…never happened.” My life will never be the same, I know that now. I just hope that I can regain some control of it, and maybe, this horrible pain will lessen. This annulment may dissolve my marriage in the eyes of the church, but I will never be able to forget. The only thing I will have left is a picture, but my broken heart will be a constant reminder of Michelle. Yes, Michelle, we did have a real marriage. God, I love you so much. I always will. I wish that you trusted me enough with your heart and soul, because I trusted you with mine.

'Cause once you've loved somebody
It ain't that easy to do
Once you've loved somebody
Like I loved you

“Once You’ve Loved Someone” written by Thom McHugh and Bruce Miller. Performed by the Dixie
Chicks. The song can be found on their album “Wide Open Spaces.”

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