Dan quietly slipped into his office without being noticed. He was not looking forward to coming to work, and seeing Natalie. He had no idea what to say to his own wife. Maybe, it was fear. Natalie had developed a real short fuse lately, forcing him to choose his words carefully when he was around her.
He was frustrated at Natalie's anger and their inability to express the real feelings. They had been treating each other with kid gloves, making sure that they would avoid an argument. Instead, frustration and anger festered into a bigger problem, making life even more shaky.
They never used to have a problem with being honest and talking to each other. Their ease with each other had grown over the years, and they shared everything. Dan had bared his soul to Natalie, and trusted her with it. Now, their conservations were limited to a couple of sentences. The words between them were forced and bitter.
He couldn't remember the last time that they stayed up until 2:00 in the morning just talking. It had been over a month since their last 'date.' Most of meals were spent eating alone or in complete silence. He missed their daily rituals.
He didn't want to dread going to bed every night. His heart ached when she would stiffen at his touch, and how she maintained as much distant from him as possible. Over the past month, Dan was denied the simple pleasure of holding his wife in his arms. It killed him. The separation only became worse every day, overlapping into an emotional one as well. He could deal with Natalie's refusal to physically imitate with him, but when she started to close off emotionally, a part of him had begun to fade away.
There had always been such a close and powerful emotional bond between them. With just one look, they could speak volumes, expressing so much. Now, it seemed those feelings were battling with anger, and anger was overshadowing any connection.
It was their anger and frustration visible in their eyes and their voices. The love had disappeared into a black cloud, and was struggling to escape.
The afternoon rundown meeting was the first time that Dan had seen Natalie all day. He noticed the dark circles under her eyes, and her pale drawn face. It was pretty obvious that she had not gotten any sleep last night. They had locked eyes for a second, sadly smiling at each other. Dan recognized the sadness in Nat's eyes, not anger, but a deep sadness.
Casey watched his two friends during the rundown meeting, and was shocked at the rift between them. In the past, Nat and Dan would smile secretly at each other, and losing themselves in their gazes.
The emotional bond had now diminished into a heap, leaving only anger and loss standing. Casey gathered from their faces that they neither of them got any sleep that night, and the crack in the relationship had deepened.
As everyone filed out of the room, Casey stayed behind, hoping that they would not bolt out of the room. He nodded his encouragement to Dan, who was watching Natalie, at the far end of the table, finish writing her notes. Leaving his two friends alone, Casey was hoping that they would be to talk to each other and work out their problems.
Nervously, Dan decided to swallow his fears, and talk to Natalie. He needed to make some kind of inroads with her. "Natalie, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Natalie glanced up at Dan. Waving her hand, she motioned him to sit down. "I think that is a good idea, Danny." She whispered.
"I'm sorry that I stormed out last night, but I needed to think" Dan murmurs
"I wish that you had stayed, Dan. Nothing has been solved, and we can't keep pushing it under the rug."
Dan nodded. "I know that, Nat. But honestly, I don't think that if I had stayed, that things were going to get any better. I think that we need to regroup, and work through this."
"Separately," Natalie choked out. "Dan, you can't mean that you don't want to live in our apartment. We can use the sofa, if you don't want to share a bed with me. I need you at home, Dan. How is living separately going to help?"
Dan sighed. "We need time apart, Natalie. Living in that apartment is both killing us. It is not about the bed or the couch. It is about us, and that we seem so unreachable to the other."
Natalie began to sob. "Is that what our marriage has come down to?" She whispered tearfully. "I don't want to come home to an empty apartment, Dan. Please, don't make me."
"I don't think that there is another option, Natalie. I have no idea what is happening between us. All I know is that we are not happy right now, and it is suffocating us. This whole situation is destroying our marriage and us. I'm sorry, Nat. I love you, please know that." Dan replied, anguished.
"I guess that love is not enough right now" Natalie retorted painfully
"Right now, I am not sure about anything, but I do love you, Natalie. And I am not giving up without a fight."
Pulling Natalie into a hug, Dan tried to ease her pain, and his own. He hated to make this decision. He had to remove himself from their apartment, to attempt to understand what happened.
"I love you, Danny"
"I love you too, Nat"
They let go of each other, knowing that the next part of the journey had to be taken alone. They had to believe in their love and commitment to each other.
Their choices would dictate their future, and would help form a stronger marriage, or they would part ways, giving up in the middle of the fight.
They had already risked a lot when they started dating. Now, they were forced with the decision to risk their marriage over their frustrations, or to accept their mistakes and move on. They were worth the risk once, so what was stopping them now, from saving their marriage?