Notes: This story was originally posted in the Temple of Aphrodite. I thought it was really cute
so I decided to post it here. Ok, now on to the story.
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Kalinda was alone in her room at her mother's temple. She was lying on the bed on her belly with her chin resting in her hands. She looked around at her surroundings.There wasn't a whole lot to see. On one wall were two windows which looked out on the rest of the world. In front of her was the door to her room.
"I am so bored," Kali said to herself as she rolled onto her back,"There must be something to do around here." She sat up as she tried to think of something. ~I wonder what my darling brother is up to~ she thought. "CUPID!" she called his name and the handsome young god appeared before her.
"Something wrong, sis?" Cupid asked. "No," Kali said,"I'm just so bored. I need something to do." "Well, I don't know what to tell you, Kal," he said,"There's really not much going on right now." "Tell me about it," Kali said,"What are you up to?" "Well, actually, Psyche and I were planning on spending some time alone together," Cupid said. "Oh," said Kali a little disappointed, "Well, I guess you should probably get back to her, huh?" "Yeah, she's waiting for me," he said. Cupid noticed the look of disappointment on his twin's face. "Hey, don't worry, sis," he said,"I'm sure you'll find something to do." And with that he was gone.
Kalinda got up and began pacing around her room still trying to find a way to relieve her boredom. She looked over at the bed. There was something lying there. Kali walked over and picked it up. "What do you know?" she said,"Looks like Cupid left his bow behind."
Kalinda smiled mischievously to herself as she thought of all the things she could do with her brother's bow. "No," she said as she put the bow down,"I won't do it." She stared at the bow for a moment longer. It was so tempting to just pick it up and wreek havoc on the rest of the world. She hesitated a moment then picked it up again. Those poor unsuspecting people never knew what hit them.
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Aidynn was heading toward the temple of Aphrodite when she saw Joxer coming down the temple steps. "Hey, Jox!" Aidynn greeted her cousin-in-law. "Oh, hi, Aidynn," Joxer said as he hugged her,"Long time no see." "Yeah, it's been a while," Aidynn agreed,"So, how's my favorite cousin-in-law?"
As the two of them continued talking Kalinda materialized nearby. She was careful not to let anyone see her as she watched Aidynn and Joxer for a few moments. Then with a mischievous grin she took aim with Cupid's bow and let an arrow fly. The arrow struck Joxer. A tingling sensation came over him and his vision became blurry for a moment. Joxer blinked his eyes to clear his vision.
"Joxer, are you feeling ok?" Aidynn asked. "Yeah, I'm fine," he said,"Why do you ask?" "Well, you seem to be acting strangely," Aidynn said,"Stranger than usual that is." "Really?" said Joxer,"I don't feel strange." He looked at Aidynn for a minute. "You know something," he said,"I never realized how beautiful you really are."
Aidynn looked at him funny. Joxer had never given her a compliment like that before. "Thanks," she said,"I think." "No, really," said Joxer,"I mean it. You are absolutely beautiful." He put his arms around her and pulled her close.
Aidynn tried to push him away. "Joxer, what are you doing?" she said. "I was just gonna give you a little kiss," he said. Joxer tried to kiss her. "Joxer, stop it!" Aidynn said as she pulled away from him.
"Aww, come on, Aidynn," Joxer said,"Just one little kiss?" He made a grab for her. But Aidynn quickly sidestepped out of the way. "No," she said. "I love you, Aidynn," Joxer said,"I want you to be my wife."
"What? Joxer, you can't be serious!" Aidynn said,"You're already married to Adrianna." "Who?" said Joxer. "You know," Aidynn said,"Adri...My cousin...Your wife." "Never heard of her," said Joxer,"You're the one I love, Aidynn."
"Joxer, you do not love me!" Aidynn said. "Yes, I do," he said,"And you love me. Don't you?" "Of course not," she said,"You know perfectly well that I love Iolaus." "Iolaus?" said Joxer,"Why? What does he have that I don't have?"
"Would you like a list?" Aidynn said. "Aidynn, you know you can't deny what you feel for me," Joxer said. He put his arms around her again.
Again Aidynn pushed him away. "Joxer, stop it!" she said,"What's gotten into you?" "Nothing that shouldn't have gotten into me sooner," he said as he tried once again to kiss her. ********************************************************************
Kali laughed as she watched Joxer and Aidynn. She was having fun now. Just then Strife materialized outside the temple. Apparently he too was bored and looking for something to do. He saw Aidynn and Joxer and went over to them. Kali smiled to herself. ~I'll give him something to do alright~ she thought.
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"Joxer, I've told you a thousand times, I am not in love with you," Aidynn was saying,"I love-" Just as she was about to say Iolaus's name Kalinda let loose another arrow. It hit Aidynn in the butt. "I love...him," she said turning to Strife.
Aidynn threw her arms around the young god. Strife was very surprised by this, though pleased. "Well, this is quite a greeting," he said,"I ought to come around more often." "Strife, I love you," Aidynn said as she kissed him.
"Hey, get your hands off her!" Joxer said pulling Aidynn and Strife apart,"This is my woman." "Joxer, I am not your woman!" Aidynn said,"I love Strife." "I thought you said you love Iolaus," said Joxer. "Who?" said Aidynn. "You know. The little blond guy who hangs around with Hercules," said Joxer. "Sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about," Aidynn said,"I love Strife."
Strife smiled broadly. ~Wait 'til Uncle Ares hears about this~ he thought. "That's right," he said out loud,"Aidynn loves me." He was enjoying this imensely. Aidynn put her arms around him again and kissed his cheek.
Kali giggled as the three of them began arguing loudly. Just then Raven happened to be walking by the temple. She heard the trio arguing and went over to see what the problem was. "Hey, what's going on here?" she asked. "Raven," said Aidynn,"Would you kindly tell Joxer that I am not in love with him?"
"In love with him?" said Raven,"Aidynn what are you talking about?" "Joxer thinks I'm in love with him," Aidynn explained. Raven laughed. "That's ridiculous," she said,"Even I know that you love what's his name." "You mean Iolaus?" said Joxer. "Yeah, that's him," Raven said. "No, I love Strife," Aidynn said,"and he loves me. Isn't that right, Strifey?"
Strife was about to respond when Kalinda let another arrow fly. This time the arrow hit Strife. "Strifey?" said Aidynn,"You do love me, don't you?" he looked at her for a minute then he turned to Raven. "No," he said,"I love her."
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"Strife!" Aidynn said,"You don't love Raven, you love me." "I'm sorry, Aidynn," said Strife,"But I do love Raven. But it was fun while it lasted." Strife put his arm around Raven and kissed her cheek. "Strife!" Aidynn said,"Get away from her!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Raven.
Joxer saw this and pulled Aidynn away from Strife. "Hey, get over here!" he said,"You're mine, Aidynn." "Joxer, how many times do I have to tell you I am not yours," Aidynn said,"My heart belongs to Strife." "Aidynn," said Strife,"This is all very flattering but I'm in love with Raven."
Strife tried to kiss Raven but she pushed him away. "Yuck," she said,"I'd rather kiss a pig!" "Strife, you know you love me," Aidynn insisted throwing her arms around him again. "Aidynn, stop that!" said Joxer,"You don't love Strife!"
Kali laughed again. She was so loving this. At that particular moment Hercules and Iolaus were returning from yet another adventure when they heard the commotion outside Aphrodite's temple. They went over to see if they could be of any help.
Iolaus saw Aidynn with her arms around Strife and went over to her. "Would you care to explain this?" he said to her. Aidynn looked at him. For a moment it was like she didn't know him. Then she realized who it was. "Iolaus," she said,"Hi."
"Hi, yourself," he said,""What are you doing?" Joxer looked up then and saw Iolaus talking to Aidynn. "Hey, get your own girlfriend, Goldielocks!" Joxer said coming over to them. "This is my girlfriend," Iolaus said. "Yeah, sure," said Joxer,"and I'm Hercules."
"No, I'm Hercules," Herc said,"Aidynn what's this all about?" Before Aidynn could say anything Kali shot off yet another arrow. This time it hit Raven. The priestess looked over at Hercules. Then she ran to him and jumped into his arms nearly knocking him down. "I love you, Hercules," Raven said.
Iolaus and Herc exchanged looks of confusion as Hercules set Raven down. "Hey, what are you doing with my woman?" said Strife. Hercules looked at the godling. "Strife," he said,"What are you doing here?"
"Trying to keep you away from my woman," Strife replied. Before Herc could say anything Aidynn grabbed Strife's arm. "Strife," she said,"I thought I told you to stay away from her. You're mine." *******************************************************************
"Now wait just a minute," Iolaus said,"What do you mean he's yours?" "Exactly what I said," Aidynn replied,"Strife's mine. You got a problem with that?" "You're damn right I do," Iolaus began but Hercules stopped him. "Iolaus, wait a minute," Herc said. He pulled Iolaus aside. "Something's not right here."
"No kidding," said Iolaus,"My girlfriend just said she's in love with...Strife of all people." "That's not what I mean," Herc said. He didn't have a chance to explain before Discord showed up. She had been looking everywhere for Strife and finally found him. "Discord," said Hercules. She turned to face him. "What do you want?"
Before Hercules could say anything Kalinda took aim with Cupid's bow and an arrow struck the handsome hero right in the chest. "Well," said Discord,"Don't just stand there with that stupid look on your face." Hercules grabbed Discord and pulled her close to him. "Discord, I love you," Herc said.
"Excuse me," said Iolaus and Discord in unison. "Herc, what are you saying?" said Iolaus,"Do you realize who you're talking to?" "Of course," Herc said,"It's Discord. My love." Discord tried to pull away from him but Hercules was too strong.
Strife saw them and want over to them dragging Minya behind him. "Hey, Discord," Strife said,"Meet my new girlfriend." "I am not your girlfriend," Raven said,"I love Hercules. He's so strong and handsome. Just look at that incredibly well-muscled body."
"Hey, I'm handsome too," said Strife. "You certainly are," Aidynn said grabbing him,"Come here loverboy!" Iolaus stepped between them. "Aidynn, stop this!" he said. "Stop?" she said,"You can't stop true love, Iolaus." "That's right," said Joxer,"Now get away from my Aidynn."
Meanwhile Discord was still struggling to get away from Hercules. Kali looked on in amusement. This was the most fun she'd had in a long time. She nearly doubled over laughing at the spectacle before her. With a mischievous glimmer in her blue eyes she let yet another arrow fly. This one went straight for Discord.
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"I love you, Discord," Hercules said,"And I know that deep down inside you love me too." "Love you?" Discord said,"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard I-" Before she could finish the arrow hit home. Discord blinked her eyes and looked over at Iolaus. "I love Iolaus," she said.
The goddess ran to Iolaus and threw her arms around him. "Iolaus, I love you," she said. Iolaus pushed her away. "What?" he said,"Have you completely lost your mind?" "No," said Discord,"I'm in love." "With me?" said Iolaus,"Aww, man. This is just great."
"Discord, I don't love you," Iolaus continued,"I love-" He was about to say Aidynn when Kali shot him with an arrow. He turned and saw Kyrra coming out of the temple. "Kyrra," said Iolaus. He went over to her. "Kyrra, I love you," he said.
Kyrra looked at him in confusion. "Iolaus, are you feeling ok?" she asked. "Yeah, I feel great," he said. "Then why did you just say that you love me?" Kyrra asked. "Because it's true, Kyrra," he said. "But what about Aidynn?" she asked.
"What about her?" said Iolaus. "Aren't you in love with her?" Kyrra asked. "No," said Iolaus,"It's you I love." "Iolaus, that's very sweet," Kyrra said,"But Aidynn's my sister. I can't do that to her." "Besides I'm in love with someone else." "Who?" asked Iolaus.
Another arrow flew. "I love...him," Kyrra said seeing Autolycus coming toward the temple. Kyrra ran to the King of Thieves and jumped into his arms. "Autolycus, I love you," she said. Autolycus was a little surprised by this. "Kyrra," he said,"What did I do to deserve this?"
"I love you, Autolycus," she said. Autolycus flashed his rougish smile. "Well, I love you too," he said. "Kyrra, get away from him," Iolaus said. "Hold it right there, Goldielocks," said Auto,"If Kyrra says she loves me, who am I to disagree? Go find your own woman."
"Iolaus, there you are," said Discord. She grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him away from them. "Help!" said Iolaus. Hercules saw Iolaus with Discord and went over to them. "Hey, what are you doing with her?" Herc said,"Discord is mine!"
Just then Adrianna was coming toward the temple. She had been looking everywhere for her beloved hubby and someone told her that he had come here. Adri looked over the small group and found Joxer chasing after Aidynn.
"Joxer!" she said,"What are you doing with my cousin?" Joxer stopped dead in his tracks. For a minute he just stared at the girl. Then suddenly he recognized her. "Hi, Adri," he said. "Don't you 'hi Adri' me, mister!," said Adri,"Just what exactly is going on around here?"
"Adri," said Aidynn,"It's not what you think. Trust me. Everyone has gone nuts here." Adri looked at her cousin. She seemed to be telling the truth. "What do you mean they've all gone nuts?" she asked. "I don't know exactly," said Aidynn,"But just look around. Hercules thinks he's in love with Discord. Can you believe that?" Adri had to giggle at that. "Now that's something you don't see every day," she said. Just then Salmoneus happened to be walking by the temple. He slowed down when he saw the small crowd of people. "Hey, what's going on around here?" he asked Adri. "Beats me," she said,"I just got here myself." Kali smiled to herself as she let another arrow fly. This one was headed for Adri. ********************************************************************
The arrow hit its mark just as Kali had planned. "Hey,you know, Salmoneus," said Adri,"You're kinda cute." Adri put a hand over her mouth. "Did I say that outloud?" she wondered.
"Well, thank you," said Salmoneus,"You're not so bad yourself. So, tell me something, why are all these people here?" Adri shrugged. "Who cares?" she said,"Just kiss me!" She flung her arms around Salmoneus as she kissed his cheek.
Just then Autolycus came over to them as Aidynn took off after Strife and Joxer went after her. Auto looked at Adri. "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?" he asked. But Adri didn't hear. She was too busy making googoo eyes at Salmoneus.
Kali got that glimmer in her eyes again and yet another arrow went flying. This time it hit the King of Thieves. Autolycus took a step back. Her stared at Adrianna. "By the gods," he said,"You're beautiful."
Kyrra was standing nearby and she heard this. "Autolycus," she said,"Don't you think I'm beautiful too?" "Yeah, yeah, sure, Kyrra," he said,"But you pale in comparison to my Adrianna. That's such a wonderful name, do't you agree?"
Kalinda laughed so hard she had tears coming out of her eyes. She stopped for a second when she heard the sound of voices. She turned around to see Xena and Gabrielle walking down that same road. The two saw the group outside the temple.
"I wonder what this is all about," said Gabrielle."There's only one way to find out," said Xena going over to join them.
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Salmoneus saw Xena and Gabby coming towards the group. He went over to greet them. "Hey, Xena, Gabby," he said,"What brings you here?" "We were about to ask you the same question," Xena said,"What's going on?" "Beats me," said Sal.
Just then Kali let yet another arrow fly. This one hit Salmoneus. Sal stared at Gabrielle for a minute. "Gabrielle," he said,"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" "What?" said Gabby. "I love you, Gabrielle," Sal said,"Marry me."
"Salmoneus, what are you talking about?" Gabby asked. "I'm talking about love, Gabrielle," he said. "Hey, get over here, Salmoneus!" said Adri as she pulled him away from Gabby. "Adri!" said Autolycus,"Get away from, Salmoneus. You belong to me."
"Autolycus!" Kyrra called his name,"There you are. What are you doing with her?" "Kyrra," said Iolaus,"Get away from him." "Iolaus!" Discord called his name.
"Uh-oh," said Iolaus,"Hide me." "Iolaus!" Discord called again,"Where is he?" "Discord, my love," said Hercules, "Forget about Iolaus. I'm the only one who really loves you."
"Hercules?" said Xena,"What's going on here?" "Hi, Xena," Herc said,"Discord and I are in love." He put his arm around the goddess. She pushed him away. "Yeah, right," Discord said,"I love Iolaus." She saw Iolaus trying to hide behind Autolycus and Adri. "You can't hide from me," she said. She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him close.
"Ok, this is way too wierd," Gabby said. "Wierd doesn't even begin to describe it," said Xena. Just then Kali saw King Iphicles coming up the road toward the temple. She smiled again. ~This is sooo much fun~ she thought.
Just as Iphicles approached the temple Kalinda let loose another arrow. It hit the king. The first person he saw was Xena. Iphicles approached the warrior princess. Xena turned and saw him. "Uh-oh, this can't be good," she said. "Xena, has anyone told you how beautiful you are?"
Kalinda burst out laughing. Gabrielle couldn't help laughing too. It was pretty funny. ~Oh, she thinks it's funny, does she~ Kali thought. She let loose yet another arrow and it flew straight at Gabrielle. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The arrow hit its mark. Gabrielle looked at Iphicles for a minute. "Wow, he's really cute," she said to Xena. She put her hand over her mouth embarrassed that she just said that. Xena only smiled. Now it was her turn to be amused. "Ah, my beautiful warrior princess," Iphicles said,"Marry me and I'll make you queen of Corinth."
"In your dreams," said Xena. "Don't you like me?" Iphicles asked. "I like you just fine," said Xena,"But not in that way." "I'll marry you, Iphicles," said Gabrielle. The king looked at her for a minute then turned back to Xena. "Xena, I love you more than words can say," he said.
Xena turned and ran off in the opposite direction. "Iphicles, wait for me!" Gabrielle called. The trio made thier way threw the small crowd gathered outside the temple.
Joxer looked up and saw Xena coming toward him. "Xena?" he said. "Joxer?" said Xena,"What are you doing here?" "Trying to keep Aidynn away from Strife," he said. "But, Joxer, I love Strife," Aidynn said,"You can't keep us apart." "But you're my girl now, Aidynn," Joxer said.
"No, I'm not!" Aidynn said,"I wish you'd stop saying that." "But I love you, Aidynn," Joxer said. "Joxer," said Xena. He turned to face her. Kalinda smiled to herself and let one more arrow fly from Cupid's bow. This one struck Xena. "What is it, Xena?" Joxer asked.
"Joxer...I love you," Xena said. "Huh?" said Joxer. Aidynn started to laugh. "What's so funny?" Xena said. "Nothing," Aidynn said. Then she saw Strife chasing Raven. "Strifey!" she called,"Come back here!" Aidynn ran after Strife.
Joxer ran after Aidynn and Xena ran after Joxer. "Joxer, wait a minute!" Xena said. Autolycus ran the other way with Kyrra close behind. Chasing her was Iolaus who in turn was being chased by Discord who was trying to get away from Hercules. "Come on, Discord," said Hercules,"Just one kiss?"
"No way," said Discord,"The only person I want to kiss is Iolaus." Iolaus heard this and screamed. Then he ran toward Xena. "Xena," he said,"You've got to hide me! Discord wants to kiss me!" "Sorry, Iolaus," said Xena,"But I'm busy right now. Now, where did that adorable Joxer run off too?"
Xena went off to find Joxer who was still chasing Aidynn. Kali laughed at all of them. "Oh, this is way better than sitting alone in my room," she said to herself. Just then Cupid showed up. "Kalind," he said,"What are you doing with my bow?"
Kali turned around and saw her brother standing behind her and he did not look happy. "Cupid," she said,"What bow?" Cupid arched an eyebrow at her. "The one you're hiding behind your back," he said. "Oh, that one," said Kali.
"Come on. Give it back," Cupid said. "Awww, come on, Cup," she said,"I was just trying to have a little fun." "Yeah, well, the fun's over, Kal," Cupid said,"Give me the bow. I've got to set things straight around here."
"Do I have to?" Kali said,"I was having such a good time. Besides, you have to admit it is pretty funny." Cupid smiled at his twin. She had a point. It was very funny. He looked around at the group of people. He saw Xena chasing Joxer, Hercules chasing Discord, Autolycus chasing Adrianna, Joxer chasing Aidynn.
Then he turned to his sister. "Kali, you are one twisted individual," he said as he laughed at the sight before him. "It runs in the family," Kali said handing him his bow,"Come on I'll help you fix this mess." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
THE END
