- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
- He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
- Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
- You can't have everything, where would you put it?
- Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
- The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
- Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
- I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
- I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
- A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered drawer.
- Women are natural leaders - you are following one right now.
- Always remember - You're unique. Just like everyone else.
- If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
- Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
- They told me I was gullible, and I believed them.
- If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.
- I brake for no apparent reason.
- Ask me about my vow of silence.
- My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!
- Energizer Bunny busted, charged with battery.
- As a matter of fact, I DO own the road.
- It's bad luck to be superstitous.
- I is a college student.
- I'm objective. I object to EVERYTHING.
- If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.
- I AM LOST. But at least I'm making really good time.
- If everything is coming your way, then you're in the WRONG LANE.
- There are three kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
- Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
- I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
- Mental Floss prevents moral decay!
- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
- There can't be a crisis today, my schedule is already full.
- I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
- Did you ever stop to think . . . and forget to start again?
- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
- I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
- Don't be so open minded that your brains fall out.
- If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
- Diplomacy is the art of letting someone have your way.
- It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
>>H.O.M.E<<
