THE GULLIBILITY FACTOR	Omni Magazine, May 1979 issue










             LAST WORD





             By Thomas F Monteleone		










                                                                 
              Anyone one can be a UFO contactee.                 ment home to Lanulos as a souvenir,               ecstatic, telling me that the symbol was

              Anyone can have a close encounter                  having replaced it with a fake back in 1956        one of his organization's most closely

              with the aliens if he has a fertile                ... and they would have believed me!               guarded secrets, and now he was

             imagination.                                        And so I was introduced to the odd,                convinced of my sincerity because I had
	     


                I speak from experience, having been             achingly pathetic world of the UFO                 "described it perfectly!" Several minutes

             involved in a UFO-contactee hoax that               cultists. These people called me                   passed, and he then confided to me that I

             began in 1967 and still haunts me today, It         long-distance from all over the country.           was not the first contactee who had

             happened while I was attending college,             They usually phoned very late at night and         described that symbol. I told him I was not

             after I called in to a Washington, D.C.             spoke in nervous whispers, claiming to be          at all surprised.

             radio talk show to speak with their guest.          fearful of the FBI and the CIA, who were              Another investigator sat in my living

             He was a man named Woodrow                          always trying to bug their phones. One of          room, listening to my story, and at one

             Derenberger, who claimed to have been               them, who would identify himself only as           point he off-handedly told me that he was

             contacted many, many times by aliens                Mr X, tapped on his phone mouthpiece               in constant 'Organic communication" with

             from the planet "Lanulos" in the "far-off           with a pencil at 30-second intervals during        the UFO 'Overlords," as he reverently

             galaxy of Ganymede."                                our conversation (to confuse and disrupt           referred to them. Explaining, he said that

               When I called in to speak to the show's           their bugging devices, he told me).                when the Overlords were near, his arms

             host, I said: "I just want everyone in the            Many of the investigators were either            would break out in gooseflesh. This

             listening audience to know that I can prove         presidents, founding fathers, or guiding           phenomenon, he claimed, had been

             that Mr. Derenberger is telling the truth."         lights of small, obscure UFO clubs and             occurring ever since he saw saucer ships

               The talk-show host asked me how I                 organizations-many with bizarre names              over the skies of riot-torn Newark, beaming

             could do such a thing. and my reply was             such as the Arizona Saucer Spotters                down 'tranquility rays" into the ghettoes.

             calm but touched with righteous                     Extraterrestrial Society (ASSES) or the            All went well until, midway through the

             indignation. 'Because I have been to                Wisconsin Extraterrestrial Intelligence            interview the man jumped up, raving

             Lanulos, too," I told the astonished host           Research and Detection Organization                maniacally. He ran up to me, roughly

             and the totally befuddled Woodrow                   (WEIRDO). When they came to my                     yanked up his shirt sleeves, and showed

             Derenberger. The station's switchboard              apartment to interview me, they always             me his goosefleshed arms. "They're here!"

             became jammed with calIs, and the show              traveled alone, lived out of beat-up               he cried repeatedly "They're here! They

             was momentarily thrown into a state of              suitcases in third-rate motels. and seemed         know of this meeting, and they approve!

             minor chaos. While on the air, I con-               to have an affinity for Radio Shack                He ran to my window, threw back the

             tradicted Mr Derenberger's story on                 portable tape recorders.                           drapes, and cried out to a blank, blue sky:

             purpose, claiming to have seen totally                One man, proclaiming himself to be the           "Come down! Come down and show

             different things on my visit to Lanulos.But         Mystic Barber from Brooklyn, called me to          yourselves"

             on each occasion, he would give ground,             say that he had heard about my contactee              What my personal contact with the UFO

             make up a hasty explanation, and in the             experience and knew that I was telling the         cultists demonstrates most poignantly I

             end corroborate my own falsifications. He           truth because he had eavesdropped on               think. is the deep, psychological need that

             even claimed to know personally the                 the aliens talking about me on their               many of these people have a need to

             "UFOnaut'who contacted me.                          ship-to-ship radios. It seems as though,           believe in something greater than them-

               In the months that followed what I had            this man had constructed a headset out of          selves. It is this need that makes them so

             considered a harmless prank. I came to              aluminum foil and coat hangers, which              pitifully gullible, so willing to accept

             regret ever getting involved with what must         enabled him to pick up "extraterrestrial           anything you wish to tell them.

             be termed a vast UFO cult. After speaking           vibrations."                                          It has been 12 years since I played what

             on the talk show, I was contacted by many             Another man flew in from New Mexico              I thought would be only a harmless prank.

             men who identified themselves as UFO                to, ostensibly, interview me for "his files'       Since then, I have been questioned by

             investigators wanting to meet me. I                 and spent three hours telling me how sad           countless UFO cultists. My "case" has

             subsequently underwent long interviews              he was because he had never been                   been discussed in many books and

             with them, in which I not only repeated my          fortunate enough to have seen the Masters          magazine articles, even though I

             false experiences but also added further            of the Universe and their great saucers. At        expressly wished to receive no publicity I

             embellishments and absurdities-just to              one point, he produced a drawing of what           shudder to think what would have

             see how far I could carry the hoax before           looked like a hybrid of several Mandarin           happened had I sought public attention.

             being discredited.                                  and Sanskrit characters and asked me if               In closing, I would like to reemphasize

               To my horror, I soon realized that I could        the Lanulesian saucer had this symbol              that anyone can be a UFO contactee

             have told these "investigators" that the            emblazoned anywhere on its hull. When I            There's only one hitch! The people who

             aliens had taken the Washington Monu-               replied in the affirmative, he became              contact you will not be from the stars.

             146 OMNI