"Are we nearly there yet?"
Methos looked over at the Highlander, shooting him an inquiring glance.
Duncan sighed. "Nearly, ok. You'd think you would have learned patience after five thousand years."
Methos smirked.
"Patience around you is a specialised art form I haven't mastered yet. OK?"
The two companions walked on in silence for a few minutes as they made their way through low-hanging trees and spiky shrubbery. Only a few incidents had fallen upon them on their journey, namely involving Duncan and a startled sheep, and on a later occasion, Methos and an over-friendly tree branch. Both mishaps had not been mentioned since.
"Could your village have possibly been less accessible, MacLeod?" whined Methos for the fifth time since they started out. Duncan gave him a proud look, totally missing the sarcasm.
"Great, Isn't it. Strategical advantage, you know. Much easier to defend a village which is located in the middle of a dense forest."
"I don't think it's just the forest that is dense, MacLeod," replied Methos innocently. Duncan glared at him.
"I'll let you know that there was never once a successful attack on our village in the whole time I lived there," he snapped, his pride slightly wounded.
"I'm not surprised," replied Methos with complete honesty. "I seriously doubt anyone could have found the place."
Duncan pouted then stalked on ahead through the low-lying mist that covered the dirt and leaf covered path. Methos grinned then ran ahead to walk slightly behind the offended Highlander.
A few minutes passed before suddenly a groundhog shot out from the nearby shrubbery and ran past them like a bat out of hell. Duncan and Methos stopped in their tracks. They looked at each other in confusion.
"I really hate to think what startled that poor thing," commented Methos, while subtly edging behind the Highlander's huge frame. Duncan noticed the move.
"Hey!" he yelled indignantly. "I'm not your personal shield, you know."
Methos pulled an impressive 'who me?' expression.
"What? Anyway it could be a wolf or something. You used to live here. You know the local predators. You deal with it."
Duncan spluttered out various unintelligible responses while waving his arms about emphatically. The five thousand year old immortal just ignored him.
Suddenly, Methos called for silence and composed his face in a mask of attentive listening.
"What?" whispered Duncan. Methos clamped his hand over the Highlander's mouth.
"Shhhh! would you? I think I hear something and if I'm right it's coming directly at us."
Duncan began to look worried.
"Do you think it is whatever frightened that groundhog?"
"I don't know," replied Methos. "I suggest that climbing a nearby tree would be a wise idea at this time, though."
Duncan nodded his agreement, and they both ran quickly to a nearby oak tree and began to climb it. Methos scrambled through the branches with much more agility than the Highlander who kept getting stuck between branches.
"This is humiliating," he whined. Methos smirked.
"Would you rather be down on the ground?" he asked.
The highlander shook his head. Suddenly Methos spoke again.
"This may sound really strange, but I think I hear singing."
Duncan looked at the man like he was crazy.
"Are you telling me that we are hiding up a tree from a singing monster?" he asked sarcastically. Methos sighed.
"I just heard it. I'm not going to explain it."
"Fine."
"Fine."
Suddenly the highlander heard the noise as well, and had to grudgingly admit that Methos was right. It was definitely singing and it was also coming closer.
"Oh my God," breathed Methos suddenly. "It can't be..."
"What?" asked the highlander, hating the fact that Methos had better tuned hearing and seeing than him.
"I could be wrong, but I think it's Kronos," replied Methos, his jaw dropping open. "And I think he's dancing."
"What?" replied the highlander, at loss for a better response. Suddenly he spotted the sight that had surprised the five thousand year old immortal so completely.
"Oh, my God..."
The two men stared open mouthed.
*******
Kronos came twirling and prancing through the forest, bellowing out a melody at the top of his lungs. He looked ecstatically happy among the wilderness. Duncan, from his vantage point in the tree, had to quickly grab onto Methos' jacket before the poor man fell out of the tree in shock. The singing had reached the point where the words were audible.
(Sung to the tune of 'Joxer the Mighty'.)
"I love the animals, all the lovely animals.
They're so very cuddly, In their little homes and trees;
Especially the tiny fleas, And of course the bumble bees;
Not to mention the furry mums, With their tiny little ones.
I luuuuuve, All the animals.
Methos and Duncan stared at Kronos in complete astonishment. Methos nearly died of shock. Kronos, still failing to notice them, burst into a second verse.
"I love to smash their heads apart, And to rip their insides out;
Watch them squeal and bleed to death, Oh! Is that just not the best!
Slash and burn their little homes, Chew up all their tiny bones.
Post the carcass to my friend, That's a gift I love to send.
I luuuuurve, All the animals!"
*********
"Phewwwww!!!" Methos let his breath out in one huge deflated movement. "That's more like the Kronos I know and love."
Duncan glanced at him.
"You love?"
He raised an eyebrow teasingly. Methos refused to fall for the bait.
"Times were different, MacLeod. I was different."
Grinning cheekily, he jumped down from the tree in one swift movement before the highlander could respond.
"Kronos! Brother!" he yelled while running over to the scar-faced man, his arms cart-wheeling in excitement as he leapt over tree-roots and ducked under low-hanging branches.
The other man turned his head and burst out into a huge grin.
"Brother! Methos! What are you doing here?"
Methos reached the man and grabbed him by his arm and pulled him into a rib-crushing hug.
"We're going to visit MacLeod's old village."
Kronos creased his forehead, his grin disappearing lightly.
"MacLeod. He's here. I should have known."
Duncan walked into view to show himself to the other man, his face revealing a fake smile.
"Hi, Kronos. Communing with nature? How unlike you."
Kronos smirked unkindly.
"I love nature. Didn't you hear my song? Wrote it myself you know." His expression remained taunting as he continued on. "I hear you're visiting your old village. How sentimental. Especially considered they threw you out like an unwanted freak once they found out about your immortality."
Methos glaring at the Brother, disapprovingly. Kronos turned to the man, ignoring the highlander's inevitable reaction.
"Tell me Brother. Have you by any chance seen a groundhog run past? The poor thing ran away from me when I tried to take it home. Can't imagine why."
"Yeah, I can't imagine," muttered Duncan, glaring at the older man. The two Brother's turned to smirk at him.
"We haven't seen it," continued on Duncan quickly. Kronos glanced to Methos to confirm his suspicions that that highlander was lying, but his Brother just shrugged his shoulders.
"Sorry, I haven't either."
Duncan grinned smugly at Kronos.
"So anyway, are we going?" said Kronos, ignoring the highlander.
"Where?" replied Duncan, slightly confused and extremely wary.
"To your village, Highlander. I for one would just love to see what kind of environment made you turn out the way you have," Kronos said with undisguised sarcasm.
Duncan's expression turned to shock, but before he could deter the other man from joining them, Methos interrupted.
"Come on, MacLeod. It'll be fun. Please?" he begged while trying a slight pout.
Duncan remained stubborn.
"Fun for you, maybe. Nuh huh. He's your Brother. You can invite him somewhere I'm not going to be."
Methos strode over to the Highlander and pulled him away from Kronos' hearing.
"Look, MacLeod. I know you don't like him, but please, can we bring him along? He's going to come anyway so you might as well invite him."
Methos pulled his best pleading look. Duncan caved at the sight, but only grudgingly.
"Oh, Ok. But don't expect me to be...civil."
Methos let out his breath in relief.
"Thankyou, MacLeod. This means a lot."
"Yeah," muttered the highlander and stalked off ahead.
Methos turned and signaled for his Brother to follow, and together they set off towards Duncan's old village.
* * *
"What on earth..."
Methos and Kronos exchanged glances and ran ahead to find Duncan, after their twenty minute hike, standing in front of a huge five star hotel, looking completely baffled.
"Well, Macleod," commented Kronos. "Really roughing it in the elements back when you used to live here, huh?"
Duncan was in such a state of shock that he didn't even bother reacting to that comment.
"Er, MacLeod," started Methos. "Are you lost?"
Duncan turned to look at him.
"I'm afraid not." He pointed at the double story hotel which looked like something out of the eighteen hundreds. "That, Methos, was my village."
CONTINUED IN...
Nostalgia 2: A Romp Through the Land of the Janeites