"I am never using the internet *again*!"
Harry sat opposite Ron in the Gryffindor common room, recounting for the hundredth time his trauma of having discovered who his secret internet lover was.
"Malfoy! *MALFOY*!" He shuddered in his seat, eyes wide with horror.
Ron, trying hard by this stage not to laugh, nodded with the best sympathetic expression he could muster. "Yeah, cybersex with Malfoy. Talk about a bad coincidence, huh?"
He couldn't help himself. A snort of laughter burst from his mouth, escaping the hand he tried desperately to contain it with.
"RON!" Harry stared at him in shocked betrayal. "This isn't funny! I was having a *relationship* with Malfoy! In the chatrooms! *Malfoy*!"
He jumped from his seat and gazed down with wide eyes. "I can't believe *you* of all people can't understand how...how...*urgh* this is!"
Ron couldn't help himself. Looking up at his best friend standing in traumatised shock was too much to handle. A gurgle of laughter bubbled in the depths of his stomach, working its way up to his mouth and came spilling out in out almighty guffaw which reverberated around the walls of the common room.
"*RON*!!"
Harry huffed out loud, unable to stand another second around the complete lack of sympathy he was receiving from the boy. He turned with a snort and stormed from the room as best as one can when the doorway is a portrait hole.
Five minutes later, he found himself wandering the corridors of Hogwarts, ignoring the concerned looks he was receiving from passing students. Unfortunately, as he was walking head down muttering in shock to himself, he didn't see someone coming at him from the opposite direction doing the same thing.
"ARGH!!"
Their twin screams held in the air as Harry found himself standing face to face with Malfoy.
"ARGH!!"
They stared at each other, Harry desperately hoping a dimensional shift would pass through them, causing Malfoy to disappear entirely from the hallway. Sadly, it didn't happen and he found himself having to...Make Conversation.
"Bastard," he said automatically, comfortably on safer ground.
"Wanker," came the reply from his wide-eyed archenemy.
Silence fell again. Harry, having exhausted his natural conversation, opted to change his stare into a glare. "Wanker."
Malfoy, showing an expression almost of relief, let his face fall into his well-loved scowl. "Bastard," he replied with a drawl, somehow making the response seem almost friendly.
They nodded at each other, almost approvingly. Then, in unison, they dipped their heads to stare at the floor and took up frantic paces away, each in the opposite direction.
Harry breathed a sigh of relief upon rounding the nearest corner. It looked like it would only take a few more awkward meetings before he and Malfoy would be getting back to their usual hate-hate relationship. He laughed out loud, mocking the absurd coincidence that had brought them together. Really, he had only liked blondE for the sex, not because it was *Malfoy*!
He glanced down at his watch, suddenly realising he was late for Potions class. With the Slytherins. Cursing Voldemort silently, only because he suspected it would take someone that immensely evil to have organised his timetable so badly, he made for the dungeons.
Arriving at the door to Snape's classroom a few minutes later, Harry quickly entered the room, noticing Ron and Hermione had taken seats in front of Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Harry, sending another curse upon Voldemort and all his ancestors, made a show of ignoring Malfoy's presence and quickly took his seat.
"Nice of you to join us, Potter," snapped Snape, suddenly appearing from behind a pile of glasses containing unidentifiable body parts.
Harry dipped his head, not willing to take the bait even though he knew he was not late. He heard sniggering from behind him, surprisingly only from Crabbe and Goyle. Not a sound came from Malfoy. Not willing to turn around to see the reason incase he would have to attempt more conversation, Harry stared stubbornly at his papers.
Luckily, Snape began speaking at that point and the class was underway. Everything proceeded without incident until the lesson neared its end and Snape approached his table.
"You call that a Transformation Potion?" he spat out, a sadistic smirk on his face. "It looks more like some pathetic creature Hagrid would drag in from the forest."
The Slytherins in the room laughed mercilessly, the Gryffindors responding by shooting glares and whispered retorts at their nearest counterparts. Snape eyed Malfoy, obviously hoping to encourage his favourite pupil to join the taunting.
Malfoy opened his mouth and stared determinedly at the desk. "Bastard," he muttered, and then shut his mouth again.
Silence spread over the room, both Gryffindors and Slytherins alike staring in shock at the lack of fluent insult coming from the boy.
"Erm, Malfoy," said Snape, the usual edge to his voice gone. "I said Harry's potion looked like something Hagrid would drag in..."
He waited, giving a few encouraging eyebrow waggles at the boy. Malfoy blushed slightly and continued to stare stubbornly at the desk. "Wanker," he mumbled, trying again.
An even heavier silence blanketed the class. Snape, for possibly the first time in his life, looked genuinely concerned for a pupil as well as being absolutely baffled.
"Do you need to go to the infirmary?" he asked, motioning to a potion in the hope the boy's strangely nice behaviour was magically induced.
Malfoy shook his head. Snape, resorting to desperate measures, turned to Harry who had been sitting quietly throughout the entire conundrum.
"Potter...?"
Harry shook his head, refusing to move his stare from the quill lying on his desk. "Bastard," he said quietly, hoping to move the attention away from himself.
Snape looked from enemy to enemy, unsure how to deal with the situation. He'd never before in all his teaching years encountered a Gryffindor and Slytherin that refused to fight. It was all very perplexing, not only for him but also for the other students who were currently pondering which hideous spell backfired to make their unofficial leaders argue so poorly over such ripe material.
Luckily for all concerned, the clock ticked the hour at that moment and Snape, almost relieved, called an end to the class. He eyed Malfoy and Harry as they left the room, making a mental note to bring up this strange behaviour at the next teacher's meeting.
*****
Back at the Gryffindor common room that night, Harry sat with Ron, Fred and George, who were all trying to encourage the boy's personality back by explaining how to play their favourite game, Squickage.
"Harry, are you listening?" asked George over his shoulder as he turned to face his twin. Harry nodded, trying to absorb himself in the game to avoid thoughts of the day's disastrous encounter. "Look, firstly there's Squickage, which is where you squick someone else. That gives you one point." He waved a hand at Fred to indicate an example. "See, I could say, 'Hey, Fred, I heard you had this fantasy about Dumbledore, sucking those wrinkles of his shriveled dick..."
"ARGHHHH!!!!" Fred shouted, clutching his hands over his ears as he pulled his face in an expression of disgust. Calming a second later, he gave a bright smile to his twin. "Good one!"
Harry gave a small laugh, encouraging the brothers to continue their efforts.
"Ok, Harry," said George, "See, it's still my turn as I won that round as I squicked him successfully." He turned to Ron, who backed further into his chair in worry. "Ron," he began with a huge grin on his face. "You know our dear neighbour Smelly Ben..." Ron's eyes widened in shock as his brain steeled for attack. "Well...imagine him, lying on your bed, legs wide..."
"UUUUURGGGHHHHHHH!!!!" Ron jumped from his chair, clutching his head, looking for all the world like he would be permanently traumatised by the image. Harry laughed, disgusted but amused by the game.
"ARGHHH!!!" yelled George, suddenly, bringing everyone's attention back to him. "ARGHHH!! Rebound Squick!!!!"
Fred let out a snort of laughter, turning to Harry to explain. "See, Harry," he began, grinning at his brothers who were both staring desperately into space trying to rid themselves of the images. "Rebound Squickage is when you try and squick someone and you don't steel your own mind enough and end up squicking yourself by getting the same mental picture back. Always fun to witness, never fun to experience."
Harry grinned, enjoying the proceedings. "Two points?" he asked, and Fred nodded.
"You catch on fast, my young apprentice," he said with a wink.
George, by this time, had gathered his wits and was sitting calmly in his chair once again. Ron also, pale though his face was, had managed to recover.
"Ok, Harry, next is Counter Squickage," George said, turning to Fred. "And here's my lovely assistant to help me demonstrate," he said with a grin to his twin.
They steeled themselves, brains focused as they prepared for the next round.
"Snape bending Professor McGonagall over her desk, skirt up..."
"ARGHHHHHHHH!!!" yelled Fred, "ARGHHH!! You letting old Filch's gummy lips kiss your dick!!"
"ARGHHHHHHH!!!"
The two brothers fell to the ground, clutching their heads, expressions of frozen trauma registering clear on their faces.
Ron sat by and laughed. "A good show of Counter Squickage," he said to Harry with a grin. "One point to the original Squicker and three to the Counter Squicker for effort. I can't do it well. Always get so badly hit by the initial squick that I can't get my mind together enough to think of a counter attack."
Harry laughed. "You play this for *fun*?" he asked with an amazed expression.
Ron grinned. "Oh, yeah. Six of us brothers and one sister - we've developed unique ways to traumatise each other."
They looked down at Fred and George, only now recovering from their ordeal and making their way back onto their chairs. George, shaking the last of the hit from his brain, looked over at his twin with a happy smile. "Good show!"
"Fair play to you!" replied Fred, returning the smile, like they had just been involved in the most friendly of games ever invented.
"So, Harry," said George, turning to the boy. "That's all the direct attacks. There's two others though. The first is called Sabotage Squickage." He turned to Ron, before his brother had time to compose himself. "Later when you're having sex with Seamus, you'll think of Snape."
Ron's eyes widened for a moment, before he controlled himself. "Ha! It didn't work!" He settled back in his chair as the boys continued to stare at him. Slowly but surely, his expression wrinkled into shocked trauma. "NOOOOOOO!!!! GEORGE!! NOO!!!"
The twins fell back against their chairs laughing loud, Harry joining in as he saw the disgust mixed with disappointed frustration clear on Ron's face.
"NOO!" Ron yelled again. "Why did you have to say that? Aw, *man*!!!"
"And that," said George to Harry, "Is Sabotage Squickage. Four points to me for implanting a squick in his head that will take effect later when I'm not there."
Ron, staring almost cross-eyed in the attempt to rid the image from his brain, glared sulkily at his brother.
"So," said George, moving to sit next to Harry and draping an arm over his shoulder. "That only leaves Self Squickage. Just what it sounds like, that. It's where your own brain betrays you and gives you some hideous mental image resulting in you squicking yourself. Sad when that happens, but it's kinda masturbatory," he added with a grin. "Five points for that, as no one really wants to experience their own squicks."
Harry laughed, all thoughts of Malfoy gone completely from his brain after enjoying the insanity of the Weasley family games. He looked at his watch, noticing the time was quite late.
"I'm going to bed," he announced to the brothers, rising from his chair. "Thanks for cheering me up."
Ron, Fred and George all smiled and wished him a good night, turning back to each other in order to begin a new round.
Harry trudged up the stairs to his room, feeling tired but unsure if he was really ready for bed. Stepping through the doorway, his eyes fell automatically on his computer, glowing blue light into the gloom. He stared at it, knowing that force of habit was trying to walk his feet over so he could join the chatrooms for his nightly sex with blondE. He shook his head, clearing the thought. Well *that* wasn't going to happen again!
He instead changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed, lying still in the darkness though annoyingly focused on the still active screen across the far side of the room. Sighing, he rose again and made his way over to the computer chair, plopping down with only the intention to shut off the monitor. Yet, as he looked at the screen, he thought of how much he wanted to masturbate. Cursing himself for the habit he had developed, an idea came to him. Just because he wasn't going to write to blondE again didn't mean there weren't other potential lovers around to satisfy him!
He quickly clicked his way into the internet, smoothly logging onto Hogwarts Homomagical Chatroom, this time deciding to use a different alias to avoid any memories of his last encounter. Hundreds of people were there, most in private conversation. He watched some public talk for a while before noticing that there was one name that was not involved in the discussions. Curiosity peaked, he clicked over for a private screen.
seeker: Hi, you like watching, huh ;)
He waited, gazing at the main conversation scroll by as he waited for a response.
PotionsPet: Depends what I'm watching ;)
Harry grinned. This boy was certainly his type.
seeker: How about me, naked on your bed? <veg>
He was too desperate to erase all thoughts of Malfoy from his mind to be bothered with the initial non-sex chat.
PotionsPet: Not shy, ru? I like it. What you look like?
seeker: I look like someone who'd make you cum if you saw me with my mouth around your dick.
Harry grinned. He was glad he'd found someone different - he certainly would have missed all this had he never used the computer again.
PotionsPet: Not shy, ru! Be my sex slave and I'll teach you what I like.
Harry's hand, having found its way automatically into his pants, began determinedly stroking his cock. The tension of the day came bubbling to the surface and he increased his movements, knowing he would come soon and hard that night.
seeker: Want me to call you 'Master'?
PotionsPet: Damn yeah. I'll have you down on your hands and knees every day, arse in the air waiting for me...
Harry, letting the image play across his mind, nearly came at the thought. He spread his legs wider and slouched down in his chair, increasing his strokes as he did so.
seeker: I'll wait for you after Quidditch games and suck you off for ever point Oliver hits...
PotionsPet: I'll make you strip naked, spread your legs and I'll do you on the pitch after we win, making you watch as Snape cheers our victory...
Harry felt the orgasm coarse through his body and he quickly grabbed both hands onto his cock and frantically squeezed and pulled his length until he came hard, barely managing to aim himself away from the keyboard in time. He'd already had the embarrassment of having to ask for five new keyboards that term alone due to sticky keys. Professor McGonagall was starting to give him concerned looks.
Suddenly, his brain clicked on what PotionsPet had said before he came.
seeker: *Snape* is your house teacher...?!
There was a pause in typing which Harry used to form a very worried expression.
PotionsPet: *Oliver* plays for your Quidditch team...?!
*******
Harry sat back, suddenly realising the horror of the situation. PotionsPet was *Slytherin*! This was getting beyond coincidence! He thought it through, staring blankly at the screen as his brain chugged away. Slytherin. Quidditch player. Hmmm...
seeker: ur in Slytherins Quidditch team, yeah? You must be one of the older form boys, then! I like older men ;)
PotionsPet: Well, ur in Gryffindor. Obviously a groupie if you wait after the games. You can watch me from the stands when I play with the boys ;)
Harry grinned relief. Obviously PotionsPet was too dumb to realise that using the alias 'seeker' added to the fact he went to Quidditch games might have given his identity away.
seeker: I'll do that next time. Bet you like riding with a stick between your legs <veg> Anyway, I'll ttyl as I'm going to bed.
PotionsPet: Dream of me. Till tomorrow, yeah?
seeker: cya then.
Harry logged off and made his way back to bed, a happy feeling of contentment in his brain now he'd found someone new to distract himself from Malfoy.
*****
The next morning Harry, grinning cheerfully, rounded a corner on the way to breakfast and found himself walking next to his archenemy.
"Had a nice night, Malfoy?" he said, making a point to show how much he really didn't care. "I did. Had really good cybersex for the *first* time in my life."
Malfoy just shrugged his shoulders and smirked. "Well, *I* found myself a boy who's certainly more interesting and wild than any root I've had before."
They stared defiantly at each other, both endlessly pleased that they had each found someone they could use to rub in the fact they were over their disastrous past together. Nodding approvingly at how smoothly they had navigated the interaction, Malfoy and Harry each strutted confidently into the Great Hall to take their seats for breakfast.
Harry approached the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Ron, a huge grin plastered on his face.
"You look happy," commented Ron, waggling his eyebrows in the hope all would be explained.
"I found someone new," said Harry. "No more Malfoy mistakes for me!"
Ron smiled in relief. He had been worried Fred and George would have made him play more Weasley games to cheer Harry up that day. Luckily it appeared to be no longer necessary, something he was more than glad about considering the sabotage squick George placed on him the night before had left him sexually frustrated and slightly traumatised after attempting a good time with Seamus.
"Good to hear it!" he said, patting his friend on the back. "So, what's this new one like?"
Harry sighed, leaning back in his chair with a content grin upon his face. "Oh, he's *great*. Confident, forward, sexy..."
"You know who he is?" Ron asked, wishing he could meet guys like that on his rounds of the chatrooms.
"Nuh," said Harry, shaking his head as they began eating the food that appeared before them on the table. "I know he's from Slytherin..."
Ron laughed out loud, food spurting from his mouth as he did so. "Again?! Gee, you sure can pick 'em!"
Harry laughed. "Yeah, but I'm sure it's not Malfoy this time."
They paused to eat their fill of breakfast and soon the meal was over. Both rose from their seats and upon Ron's suggestion, made their way to the computer room as their classes didn't start for another few hours.
"Do you reckon he's online now?" asked Ron as they took seats next to each other at the closest available terminals.
"PotionsPet, you mean?" Harry asked, shrugging his shoulders.
Ron opened his mouth to speak but shut it suddenly as he turned his head to stare concerned at his friend.
"Potions Pet? That's his name?"
Harry nodded perkily, happy to share his new love with his best friend. "Yeah, don't know what that's about. But he's from Slytherin so they all probably like Snape's class."
Ron, still retaining his curiously worried expression, continued his questioning.
"Er, Harry," he began, "how did you know this boy is from Slytherin?"
Harry smiled cheekily. "He's on their Quidditch team. Wanted to do me on the pitch while Snape watched. Kinky, huh!"
Ron stared at him as though he could not believe someone could walk and talk with such an obvious lack of brain power available.
"Harry...err..." he began, eyes wide though feeling very unsure if I should laugh or be very concerned about his friends mental wellbeing, "He's Slytherin, on their Quidditch team, and has the name of 'Potions Pet'?"
"Yeah?" said Harry, brow furrowed in confusion. "So?"
"Potions Pet?" persisted Ron, beginning to shake his hands around in front of Harry's face incase some small spark of intelligence might be floating around behind those green eyes. "Maybe like, a teacher's pet type student in Potions class..."
Harry shrugged. "Oh, yeah, maybe. Didn't really think about that."
Ron stared at him, shaking his head in disbelief. He just couldn't sit there and let this happen a second time. "You idiot! It's Malfoy *again*!!"
Harry burst out laughing. "No it's not!" he cried. "Oh, very funny!" He turned back to his screen to begin typing but Ron grabbed his arm and pulled him from his seat.
"What?!" Harry yelled, trying to struggle free. "What're you doing?!"
"I'm going to prove it to you," Ron replied stubbornly, and began dragging the resisting boy over towards where he had spotted Malfoy sitting across the far side of the room.
"Potter! Weasley!" snapped Malfoy as Harry was dumped unceremoniously into the seat next to the Slytherin. "Can't you find anywhere else to sit, like somewhere that's as far from me as possible?"
"You are a complete daft bastard," replied Ron by way of an answer. Before Malfoy could retort, he waved his hand at their screens. "You two are writing to each other *again*!"
Harry, mortally embarrassed and silently making a note to find a new best friend, cringed and refused to speak or make eye contact with his archenemy. Malfoy, on the other hand, was staring at Ron as though he was madder than usual.
"I am not!" Suddenly, a particularly evil smirk spread across his face. "Oh, I see. Potter's got a crush on me and you're trying to set us up," he laughed mercilessly. "Gosh, well I'm flattered and all but go screw yourself."
Ron refused to give up. "Ok, you don't believe me? You have a new lover, yeah? Just found him last night, *yeah*?" He motioned at Malfoy's keyboard. "Then logon and find him then. Prove to me it's not Harry." He turned and looked in frustration at his friend. "You too, Harry. Logon."
Harry, blushing bright red in humiliation, let out a big sigh and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I don't think it's you either, Malfoy," he said, "so I'm not scared to prove it."
Malfoy, not needing any more encouragement than the opportunity to prove he wasn't scared, nodded stubbornly. "Ok, fine!"
They both spun around to face their computers and logged into Hogwarts Homomagical Chatrooms, quickly finding their new lovers names in the list. Harry clicked through first.
seeker: Hi, so this might seem strange, but my friend thinks ur someone ur not, so could you just type something to prove ur not?
Eloquence wasn't high on his list of priorities. Malfoy, concentrating on his own computer, typed back.
PotionsPet: Yeah, could you do the same because I've got these..."
Suddenly even his own levels of brain power managed to catch on, better late than never. He turned his head, his expression full of disbelief and frustration. Harry, catching on a moment later, stared back.
"ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
They jumped from their chairs and stood facing each other in shock.
"Stop writing to me!"
"You stop writing to *me*!"
"I'm not!"
"Neither am I!"
They stood, fuming in each other's faces, as Ron sat back shaking his head and wondering how they ever deciphered how to get out of bed in the mornings. He was starting to worry that they actually did make a good couple.
"Er, you might want to take this outside," Ron whispered, noticing that half the students in the room were watching the proceedings with avid fascination.
Harry and Malfoy each snapped their attention away from their glaring match long enough to notice the truth of Ron's words.
"Fine."
"Fine."
They both turned to face the door, pushing and shoving each other in an attempt to make the best exit. Instead of following them, Ron decided he'd save himself the headache and just find his own lover. A Gryffindor lover. One who was hopefully not a brother. He shuddered and cursed the fact that half of Gryffindor was made up of Weasleys.
*****
Meanwhile, Harry and Malfoy were half way down a random corridor, each pretending he knew where he was heading. Suddenly Malfoy grabbed Harry's arm and shoved him hard through the nearest door.
"Let go!" yelled Harry as he found himself backed painfully into wooden shelves. They were in a broom closet.
Malfoy found the light switch and turned it on. He met Harry's furious expression with one of stubborn determination.
"I'm sick of ending up with you in the chatrooms," he said, "so I'm gonna prove I don't like you."
Harry snorted. "Same back at you." Then a thought occurred to him. "Prove it...how?"
Malfoy answered by pushing Harry into the shelves and kissing him hard, with as much tongue involved as he could manage. Pulling back half a minute later, the Slytherin stared triumphantly. "See! I didn't like that at *all*!"
Harry stared at him, shocked. "Well...I didn't like it either!"
"Good!"
"Good!"
They continued staring at each other. Harry, panting from the recent lack of oxygen, suddenly thrust his hand down under Malfoy's waistband and wrapped it around the boy's cock. He began stroking fast, squeezing and rubbing the entire length while Malfoy, unable to object for fear he'd be accused of being affected by the molestation, stood still, horrified.
"I don't like it!" he squeaked, voice loosing pitch entirely with the onslaught.
"Neither do I!" panted Harry, focusing on increasing the motions of his hand. "Do you think I *want* to do this?!"
He reached his other hand up to expertly pull Malfoy's shirt over his head and threw it to the ground. All he received in response was a moan instantly disguised as a growl of objection. Harry pulled his hand out of Malfoy's pants.
"You've got a woodie!" he cried triumphantly, pointing at the Slytherin's groin.
Malfoy looked down, shock and denial on his face. "I do not!" He spun around and spun back just as quick, pulling on Harry's arm to twist him to face the shelves. He then began rubbing his erection up between the boy's legs. "You're pushing into it!" he cried, equally triumphant at the revelation.
"I am not!" yelled back Harry, trying to gain control of his instinct to thrust backwards into the persistent cock.
They stood there for a good five minutes, Malfoy thrusting perfectly while Harry nearly pulling a muscle in the attempt to refuse entry and keep away. Moans of what would have been pleasure had either boy wished to admit it, filled the closet. Malfoy began ripping at Harry's clothes, pulling them frantically off the boy's body until he was left standing naked against the wall.
Harry, unable to take it anymore, quickly pushed back hard and spun around, dropping to his knees. He yanked down Malfoy's trousers before the boy had time to react and vacuum-suctioned the Slytherin's cock into this mouth. Malfoy yelled in shock and pleasure, then realising his mistake he tried desperately to resist grabbing hold of Harry's head. He failed miserably and gained purchase on the disheveled hair.
Harry pulled back. "You want it! You're trying to hold my head in place!"
Malfoy shouted disbelief, wide eyed with badly disguised lust. "Am not! Am trying to pull your head *away*!"
Harry, eyes still blazing with success, leaned forward again, his mouth an inch from Malfoy's cock. "I'm sucking you deep, I want to hear you come..." he murmured in his best sexy voice. He took Malfoy's cock back in his mouth, twirling his tongue around the tip before dipping forward and sucking the entire length hard.
"Not...enjoying...it!!" groaned Malfoy, clutching tightly on Harry's hair. "Doing...nothing...for...me!!" He tried desperately to concentrate on an image of Dumbledore cross-dressing in an attempt to bring his erection back down, but to no avail. All he could think and certainly all he could see was Harry's mouth on his cock, sucking it hard down his throat.
"Gaaaa...!" he whimpered, vaguely noticing that only one of Harry's hands was on his hip. The other was around the boy's own cock, masturbating himself in time to the pulls of his mouth. The image, like every time he had imagined it in the chatrooms, was too much to bare and he climaxed with a deep yell, thrusting one last time into the persistent mouth.
Harry followed suit a moment later, his own orgasm spilling into his hand as he breathed hard and fell down to the floor in a pile of limbs. Malfoy slumped down next to him, panting deep as they lay together in the afterglow.
"That didn't count."
Harry looked over at Malfoy who had spoken the words. "Didn't say it did," he replied and then began staring at the wall.
There were a few more moments of silence.
"Date me."
Harry looked over at Malfoy, appalled. "What?! Why would I want to date *you*?!"
Malfoy met Harry's stare and his usual smirk crept over his features. "What? You worried you might like it?"
Harry spluttered indignation. "NO!"
"Then date me," persisted Malfoy. "I certainly won't like it."
Harry stared at him. "You think you can get me to like you? Ha! Fine! I'll date you just to prove I don't like you!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
Silence reigned as they lay still, naked in the closet, stubbornly ignoring their identically growing erections.
THE END