~~ STAR WARS: THE PHANTOM MENACE ~~


All characters spawned from the sane mind of George Lucas and belong to Lucasfilm. WHY CAN'T THEY BE MINE?! WHY?! WHYYYYYY??!!
*ahem* Please don't sue me, George. I can't even afford your merchandice, let alone a legal bill!


SECRETS

Ok. "Secrets" is a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' type of story. That means Part 1 branches off into two alternative endings.

Secrets Part 1

PWP. Rated: NC-17.
Pairing: O/Q.
Spoilers: None.

This is the intro from which both alternative endings stem. It has a horny Obi with a determined plan.

Secrets Part 2A

PWP, BDSM, first time. Rated: NC-17.
Pairing: O/Q.
Spoilers: None.

This alternative ending focuses on Qui-Gon as dom in the resulting relationship.

Secrets Part 2B

PWP, humour. Rated: NC-17.
Pairing: O/Q.
Spoilers: None.

This part focuses on Obi-Wan as a prostitute. Mostly humour, but still has smut. A light change from Part 2a.


THE MASTER AND APPRENTICE GALA

Humour/Parody, AU. Rated: PG.
Pairing: O/Q
Spoilers: For PM and original movies

As the sign above the door says: It's a...
Master and Apprentice Dinner Party! Dark and Light Sides of the Force Welcome!
...and it involves all the problems that arise from that bright idea.


HOW TO CHOOSE A JEDI APPRENTICE

Humour/Parody. Rated: between G and NC-17.
Pairing: O/Q
Spoilers: None

A rather silly little tale behind Qui-Gon's choosing of Obi-Wan as his apprentice.


THE STAR WARS CONVENTION

Humour/Parody, AU. Rated: R
Pairing: O/Q, O/M, O/L, E/Q
Spoilers: For PM
WARNING: Suggested Real Person Slash involving Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson takes place in this one. If that bothers you, then don't read it!

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan go to a Star Wars convention.
It helps if you've read at least some of the Sith Academy series to get the in-jokes.


THE ROOM OF WOOPSIES

Humour/Parody, AU. Rated: G.
Pairing: none.
Spoilers: None.

This is a completely smut-free piece of silliness involving Qui-Gon's love of 'pathetic lifeforms'.


STEALTH MASTURBATION TACTICS

Humour/Parody, AU. Rated: NC-17.
Pairing: O/O, funnily enough. O/Q in fantasy land, though.
Spoilers: None.
Note: 'Jelly' in Australian is 'Jello' in American. Hopefully that explains it for everyone else too!

Obi-Wan lusts after his Master in the way young, horny Jedi do best!


THE PLEASURES OF UNIVERSITY LIFE

Humour, Mary Sue. Rated: PG.
Pairing: O/Q
Spoilers: None.
Warning: Here be a geriatric!Qui-Gon!

This is a little story I wrote for my dearest Padawan Boots, who gets the honour of being the nominated Mary Sue in it. Everyone else gets to be jealous!


THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE

Humour/Parody Rated: NC-17
Pairing: O/Q
Spoilers: None.

Qui-Gon discovers Obi-Wan is rather vocal in bed, and he really needs to do something about it.


FAIRY TALE JEDI SERIES

These are based on Fairy Tales (surprisingly enough), and show what happens when you put Star Wars characters in cute little children's stories. All tell a different tale of how Obi-Wan becomes Qui-Gon's Apprentice.

OBI-WAN'S PRINCE CHARMING

Humour/Parody, AU. Rated: PG.
Pairing: O/Q

Based on "The Frog Prince" and tends to be disgustingly cute in parts.


LITTLE RED RIDING KENOBI

Humour/Parody, AU. Rated: G.
Pairing: O/Q

Based on "Little Red Riding Hood".


KENOBIELLA

Humour/Parody, AU. Rated: PG.
Pairing: O/Q

Based on "Cinderella".


BITS AND PIECES

This is the bits and pieces which aren't stories but still are TPM. Ok, so there's only one 'bit and piece' here, but it still counts!

JEDI APPRENTICESHIP: THE PRACTICAL PROBLEMS

Just a little list of the problems Masters and Padawans face while sharing a room at the Academy.


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