JEDI APPRENTICESHIP: THE PRACTICAL PROBLEMS



  1. Having to keep a ladder in the bathroom so you can use it to climb up and lower the showerhead about a foot after your rather taller Master has taken his shower.

  2. Robe-sharing is out of the question due to size differences.

  3. Having to keep a bent coat-hanger (which is the traditional instrument of use in nearly every household problem involving small hard-to-reach areas) in the bathroom to be used to extract your Master's hair from the shower drain after it piles up and causes blockage.

  4. When using the shared hovercar, having to constantly adjust the seat back and forth depending on whether you or your taller Master are driving.

  5. The TV remote - put it in a pocket in your robes and it'll be an utter bastard to find again in a hurry.

  6. Trying not to think about the Jedi Porn magazines under the bed when living with someone telepathic.

  7. Having a Jedi Master who's afraid of rats when you've got a braid that, at a quick glance, looks like a rodent's tail.

  8. Having to reassure your poor Padawan that he *is* well endowed, even though you can fit his entire cock easily in one huge hand.

  9. Mistaking a dildo for your lightsaber when rushing to someone's rescue.

  10. Mistaking your lightsaber for a dildo when initiating kinky sex.

  11. Having to wonder whether your Padawan is calling you 'Master' out of respect or because he's initiating a S&M session.

  12. Thinking of problem 11) during a Jedi council meeting, and having to add 'voyeur' to the S&M possibility.

  13. Slamming the fridge door closed on your Padawan as you didn't see him due to his head not being visible over the top.

  14. Having a Master who accidentally shrink-dries his robes in the Dryer so you're left with the embarrassment of being seen wearing hand-me-downs by all your Padawan peers.

  15. Having your Padawan accidentally leave his prize-trophy Darth Maul lightsaber in his robes, having it go through the wash, and then watching all your nice tunics come out pink.

  16. Accidentally mind-whammying your Padawan into performing anal sex on you every time you wave flies out of your face while on a mission, and happen to swear 'bugger' at the same time. NOTE: this is only a problem if you're in public.

  17. Having a Master who uses all the hot water up in the shower due to him having a rather extensive body surface-area, as well as having an objection to two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.

  18. Having a Padawan who uses up all the cold water in the shower after spending day after day fantasizing about Master/Padawan sex.

  19. Losing cake after cake of soap down the drain after your Padawan insists on 'accidentally' dropping it every five minutes during your joint showers.

  20. Accidentally mistaking the tube of lube for toothpaste.

  21. Wondering whose toothbrush you're using, and then finding out that your Padawan's new best buddy Darth Maul had stayed the night. Then adding two and two together.

  22. Having your Master come to you every time he wants a knot untied, as his own fingers are too big for the job.

  23. Having to move up a bed size when you first move in together, as your Master's feet stick out the end of your old one. And when they do that they get cold, so then you have to listen to him having an angst attack about what his subconscious tendency to get 'cold feet' *really* means. And then having him reassure you about his everlasting love when you're trying to read your favorite book: "Mills and Boon: the Slash edition".

  24. Mistaking the ominous green glow of a lightsaber under the blankets, for aliens abducting your Master. Then having the embarrassment of facing your equally embarrassed Master after finding out that he'd actually been secretly reading your Jedi Porn magazines under the blankets to the light of his 'saber.

  25. Having to put up with your Master's pet cat (which usually stays at his parent's house - No pets allowed in the Academy) coming to visit and playing with your Padawan braid like it was a new favourite toy.

  26. Having to avoid being the victim of the dreaded Padawan Braid Whiplash.
    (big thanks and chocolate covered Jedi to Kaiburr for that one!!)

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