One day Obi-Wan was playing in his garden with his
golden Te'liyt ball, out back of his parent's house.
He threw it joyfully in the air, laughing merrily as
it glittered in the sunlight. It had been a present
from his uncle, and was his most treasured possession.
Skipping happily through the trees and flowers dotting
the landscape of the immense garden, he couldn't have
been happier. Except for one thing. One thing he'd
wanted but his parent's couldn't buy for him.
Love.
Obi-Wan sighed and pouted.
"Oh, my fair prince, where are you?" he said to the
world in general.
Starship-loads of suitors had come to woo him, ever
since he'd grown up into the most beautiful young lad
in all the galaxy. His eyes sparkled, his hair
reflected the sunlight perfectly, and he had the body
of a god. He was the most sought after man of all.
Yet he rejected every suitor who came, to his parent's
dismay. He sat bored through countess proclamations of
undying love, and rolled his eyes at the piles upon
piles of priceless gifts presented to him.
None of these men were his Prince Charming.
And he was going to find him if it took his entire
life, dammit. Or at least the next few years,
depending on much more mileage he had on his
incredible good looks.
He sighed again, then began throwing his ball up and
down in the air again. He skipped around and around
like a giddy little boy, his air-filled brain making
him almost float off the ground.
"Who is the most beautiful man in the entire
universe?!" he asked the ball as he caught it in his
hands. "Oh, me? WOW, thanks!!" he said to the silent
reply from the ball.
He began his giddy run around the garden again, but
this time he threw the ball too enthusiastically in
the air, and it fell down somewhere in the nearby
trees.
"Oh, poo," pouted Obi-Wan, and he made his way over to
the trees. He began to search through the low
undergrowth, but to no avail. Further and further he
pushed through the scrub and branches until a clearing
opened up, revealing the deep pond in the middle of
the garden. Obi-Wan walked up to the edge, and admired
his own reflection.
"By golly, you're a handsome chap, aren't you?" he
said to himself. He began preening himself,
straightening his clothes, fixing his hair, when
suddenly a polite cough interrupted him.
He looked around but couldn't find the owner of the
voice. He shrugged his shoulders and turned back to
his reflection.
"Oi! Down here!" yelled the disembodied voice.
Obi-Wan's head snapped around and he stared at the
little green frog seated on the edge of the pond.
"Yes, it's me who's talking, congratulations on
working it out," said the frog.
"Err..." said Obi-Wan. "You're a frog..."
"Well observed, young man," said the frog. "You'll go
far in life with those powers of observation."
Recognising sarcasm had never been Obi-Wan's forte,
and so the words went in one ear and out the other.
"Frogs don't talk," he said, the brain cell in his
head working overtime.
"Don't be stupid, boy," said the frog. "What do you
call what I'm doing if it isn't talking?"
Obi-Wan cocked his head in thought.
"Ok," he said finally, after no answer came to him. "I
guess you're right."
"I'm always right," replied the frog. "Now listen,
boy. You want that golden ball of yours?"
"Oh, yes!" exclaimed Obi-Wan, his eyes lighting up.
"Oh, but I've lost it," he remembered suddenly, his
pout returning.
"It's at the bottom of this pond, actually," said the
frog. "I can get it for you if you promise to do
something for me."
"Oh, anything you'd like!" exclaimed Obi-Wan
gleefully. "I just want my ball back!"
The frog nodded and dived down into the depths of the
pond, resurfacing moments later with the golden ball
between its webbed feet. He dropped it at Obi-Wan's
feet.
"There you go, lad," he said. "Now you have to do the
favour you promised me."
"Sure! Sure! Anything!" said Obi-Wan, lost in his own
thoughts while staring at the glistening ball.
"Kiss me," said the frog.
"Oh, su- What?!"
"Kiss me," repeated the frog.
Obi-Wan stared at the small green creature.
"You _have_ to be joking!" he said in disgust. "I'm
not kissing you - you're a frog!"
"Yes, I think we've been through that," said the frog.
"But you have to kiss me as you made a promise."
"Well, I shan't do it!" exclaimed Obi-Wan. "You're a
hideous little creature and I deserve better! The
Prince of Tu-yagh came to me yesterday and I wouldn't
even kiss him! So I certainly won't kiss you!"
"Yes you will!"
"NO I won't!"
"Yes you will or you won't get your ball back!"
The frog concentrated and levitated the ball out of
Obi-Wan's open hand.
"Hey! Give it back!" yelled Obi-Wan, jumping madly at
his ball. "How did you do that?!"
The frog smiled, as well as frogs can smile.
"I used the Force," he answered smugly. "I can teach
you how to, if you want."
"I'd love to learn!" said Obi-Wan gleefully. "I want
to be a Jedi one day!" he added. He paused. "You're
not a Jedi...are you?"
The frog managed to look even more smug.
"Well, yes I am actually," he replied. "Kiss me and
I'll teach you everything I know."
Obi-Wan opened his mouth to complain, but for once his
brain took action.
"Bugger," he said finally and with much passion.
Slowly reaching down, he picked up the little slimy
frog, and brought it unwillingly up to his luscious
lips. He puckered up and planted a tiny kiss on the
frog's head.
Suddenly a strange electrical force surrounded the
little frog and Obi-Wan dropped it in surprise,
releasing a little cute 'eeek!' at the same time. The
bright lights and flashes grew in size and the little
frog expanded and morphed larger and larger in front
of Obi-Wan's eyes.
Finally, all the action stopped, and before Obi-Wan's
eyes stood a tall, extremely handsome man, smiling
seductively at the stunned boy.
"Thank you," the man spoke, finally. "I am Qui-Gon
Jinn, a Jedi Master, and unfortunately was transformed
into a frog by a Sith with a bad sense of humour. And
no, I don't wish to talk about it. Anyway, I had to
get a beautiful young boy to kiss me to reverse the
spell. That's where you came in."
Obi-Wan continued staring. He had never seen such a
magnificent sight in his entire life, not counting
himself. Especially considering the man was
glistening wet and naked, which wasn't a state he'd
ever reached with any of his suitors before.
"Oh, my!" he managed to say, finally.
Both men stared, entranced by each other's amazing
good looks.
*Finally* Obi-Wan thought, *I've found my Prince
Charming!*
They jumped into each other's arms and from that point
on lived happily ever after.
***
THE END.