THE STAR WARS CONVENTION



Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi walked through the double doors of the convention centre.

"Master! Look at them all!" gasped Obi-Wan in shock.

The room was filled with hundreds of Obi-Wan's, Qui-Gon's, Darth Maul's and every other character that could possibly be found in a Star Wars movie. Yes, it was a Star Wars convention.

"I can see, my Apprentice," said Qui-Gon. "We will blend in well."

They wandered further into the chaos of creatures and look-alikes, until suddenly a poster caught Obi-Wan's attention.

"Look, Master! It's us!"

Qui-Gon turned his head to look at the poster.

"Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson Guest Appearance Today," he read. "My goodness, they do look like us, don't they? Well cast. Handsome men, the both of them," he added approvingly.

"I agree, Master," said Obi-Wan. "That Liam guy is particularly appealing to me."

"As Ewan is to me, my young Padawan," replied Qui-Gon, with a look of lust in his eyes.

"Oohhh, Master...!"

The two Jedi's jumped into each other's arms, kissing and hugging tightly, until a Yoda look-alike came up and taped them on the kneecaps.

"Act like that, Jedi's do not," he said. "Lovers Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are not."

The two Jedi's gave him Looks.

"And how would you know?" asked Qui-Gon as politely as possible.

"Write it, George Lucas did not," replied the Yoda.

"He meant to," insisted Obi-Wan with a wave of his hand.

"Meant to, he did," agreed the Yoda, and wandered off.

"Well done, my Padawan," said Qui-Gon finally. "If you see George Lucas himself, then I suggest you try that on him."

"Yes, Master."

"Oh, and also tell him to bring me back from the dead, if you wouldn't mind," added Qui-Gon.

"Yes Master."

"It's just that if he's planning on making me a ghost later on, then how am I meant to play touchy-feelies with you, my darling Padawan?"

"Exactly, Master."

"Obi-wan?"

"Yes Master?"

"Would you stop agreeing with me in that obedient little Padawan way of yours?"

"Yes Master. Sorry Master."

"You're still doing it, my Padawan."

"Can't help it Master. I feel the Lucas Influence strongly in here."

"Yes, so can I," replied Qui-Gon. "But we must resist. We cannot get pulled into the character descriptions that he so wants us to be."

"Yes, Mas- I mean, we can't do that, I agree. And I'm agreeing because I want to, not because of the Lucas Influence making me 'yes Master' you all the time."

"Good. Because you know if we don't resist, then never again will we be able to play our Strict Master Disciplining Disobedient Padawan sex games."

There was a pause while Obi-Wan took in the full ramifications of that thought.

"We must resist!" he said emphatically.

At that moment, a Darth Maul look-alike careered into Obi-Wan's back.

"Die, mortal!" he growled, as he looked up into Obi-Wan's eyes.

"Maul wouldn't say that," said Obi-Wan, unperturbed. "Why would he refer to me as a mortal, when he's one too? There's no reason to specify a difference."

The Darth Maul looked less confident, but battled on all the same.

"Die you Jedi scum?"

"That's better," said Obi-Wan. "I could see him saying that, sure." He grinned happily and patted the Maul on his back. "You're so swell at that!"

"Obi-Wan!"

"Yes, master?" said Obi-Wan, pouting.

"I sense another influence upon you! A strong one! It is not the Lucas Influence, but one instead strongly related to your antics with Darth Maul. It's turning you into a little Jedi twit," he said. "Resist it!"

"I...can't...Master..." replied Obi-Wan, while trying desperately to push down an urge to call Maul his neighbour.

Qui-Gon slapped him upside his head.

"Oh- Wha- Oh, Master. Thank you," said Obi-Wan, shaking his head to clear the influence away. "That was a strong one." He gave the Maul a strange look, wondering why he suddenly thought the Sith's biceps were looking rather...developed and manly, all of a sudden.

"Obi-Wan!"

"Oh- Sorry, Master," said the young apprentice. "I think I've got it all off me now."

The Darth Maul that was staring at them through all this, suddenly decided he had an urgent need to go an intimidate a Mace Windu across the furthest side of the room. He ran for it.

A moment passed as the two Jedi's stared at the retreating figure.

"Strange man," commented Qui-Gon, finally.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Shall we mingle some more, then, Master?" he continued on. "We must find out all there is to know about this...convention phenomena."

"And change the parts we don't like, as well, remember my Padawan," added Qui-Gon. "You remember what I said about seeing George Lucas, don't you?"

"Yes, Master," said Obi-Wan with a roll of his eyes.

"Good. Now remember, there is not only the Lucas Influence here, but also another presence I have as yet been unable to decipher. Part of it sucked away your brain cells not five minutes ago. It is possibly the most powerful force of all. We must be wary of it."

"I sense some of this different Force might benefit us, Master," said Obi-Wan. "It made us lovers in the first place, did it not?"

"Yes, I believe you are right, my Padawan. It does seem the same."

"Though I think we should stay away from any Darth Mauls, as this force might influence them too and make them all vex me. I sense it strongly Master," said Obi-Wan.

"Yes, that part of this force is not beneficial to you, my Padawan," agreed Qui-Gon. "Shall we move on into this crowd, Obi-Wan? I'd like to meet this Ewan and Liam."

The two Jedi's made their way through the throngs of people, bumping and pushing their way across the room. Suddenly a Padme look-alike crashed full pelt into Qui-Gon.

"OOoo, my!" she said. "That's a big light-sabre you have there!" She winked and Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. He knew his Master was above such an influence.

"Why yes it is, my dear," said Qui-Gon to the Padme. "And it's not even at full length at the moment."

The girl raised both her eyebrows in excitement and interest, but before she could speak again, Obi-Wan grabbed his Master's arm and pulled him away.

"Master!" he whispered, shocked. "You were flirting with her!"

"No I wasn't," replied Qui-Gon with an innocent look. "There is no influence in this room to compel me to want to sleep with her."

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again when he saw he couldn't argue with that.

"And anyway, my Padawan," continued on the older Jedi. "You know you're the only one for me. I mean, look at you. Your beautiful eyes, muscled body, cute tush..."

Obi-Wan melted. A small part of his mind silently cursed the rest of him for being manipulated so easily, but he told that part that it would be solely to blame if he didn't get laid that night.

"Oh, Master...!"

The two fell into each other's arms again, and began smooching. Once again they were interrupted, this time by an outburst of applause.

"Oh, well, thank you, we do look rather good doing that, don't we?" said Qui-Gon.

"Uh, Master. I don't think that applause was directed at us," commented Obi-Wan. "Look! It's that Ewan and Liam! We must meet them!!"

"Watch those exclamation marks, my young Padawan," warned Qui-Gon. "You're turning into a bimbo twit again."

"Sorry Master," said Obi-Wan, forcing his voice to lower considerably. "Shall we move forward to meet our doubles now?"

They both turned their heads to take in the view of Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor walking out to the massive sounds of applause and taking seats behind signing tables.

"Yes, Obi-Wan, it is time."

***

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan pushed their way through the mass of excited fans, towards the table where Ewan McGregor and Liam Neeson were seated. The crush of people was strongest at the front of the mass, and the Jedi's soon found it impossible to push any further closer.

"Master!" gasped Obi-Wan, struggling for air. "I can't stay here much longer...!"

Qui-Gon looked over at his young apprentice who was currently half stuck under a Darth Maul's cloak. "Use the Force, my Padawan," he advised.

Obi-Wan gave his Master a confused look, then saw what was meant. Qui-Gon was standing in the middle of an invisible forcefield, the crowd swarming around it. Obi-Wan nodded. He closed his eyes, concentrated and then felt the Force pour out from him, worryingly punctuated by screams and thuds. He opened his eyes. The entire crowd were splattered right and left in piles, with only him and Qui-Gon left standing.

"Oops," he said sheepishly.

Qui-Gon gave him a stern look. "You have a little problem with control and restraint, my Padawan. But I'll forgive it as you have succeeded in getting us to the front of the line."

Obi-Wan looked and saw that there was no one left standing between them and the two shocked looking men seated at the front tables. The two Jedi's wandered up, unconcerned by the groaning bodies they had to step over to do so.

"Good afternoon," Qui-Gon said to the two men. "As you would know, I'm Qui-Gon and this is my Padawan, Obi-Wan. Nice to meet you."

The two men continued staring. Finally the younger of the two spoke up.

"Err...wha' happened to all them?" he asked, pointed at the strewn bodies on the floor, who were only now beginning to recover.

"They fell over. Spontaneously," replied Qui-Gon, with a wave of his hand.

"Thay fell over. Spontaneouslee," said Ewan. "Okae."

Liam looked at the interaction in amazement. "You just ded that hypnootism ting on him..."

"Mind whammy," supplied Obi-Wan helpfully. "It's the proper term."

"Reallee?" said Ewan. "Ai don't recall George yewsing tha'"

"He meant to," insisted Obi-Wan, with a wave of his hand.

"He meant tew," agreed Ewan.

"Good," interrupted Qui-Gon suddenly. "I'm glad that's settled. Now how do you two men feel about including a sex scene between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon in Episode Two."

"I don't tink-"

"Ai'd doo tha'"

Liam stared at Ewan.

"Err, Ewan, don't you tink that it'd be a little...inaproopriate...also considering we're friends..."

Ewan gave the man a look of amusement.

"Thus is mee yew're talkin' too. Any excuse ta get naked and dirty with another guy, is faine."

Liam blushed slightly.

"Err...I didn't reelise you felt that wey...in real life..."

"Oh, aye!" replied Ewan. "And anywey, ai think yew look great in your Jedi robes."

"You doo too."

It was Ewan's turn to blush, and he began staring at Liam's chest to avoid eye contact. Qui-Gon felt it was time to interrupt again.

"Good, I'm glad that's also settled."

"Noo it's not," said Liam suddenly. "Yooar dead. I don't tink me and Ewan can meke luv if you're a gost."

"I'm not dead," replied Qui-Gon, firmly. "I didn't disappear, did I? Young Obi-Wan here did, or should I say, is going to, when he dies. That seems more...final to me. I actually just stopped physical functioning of my body while I used the Force to heal me from the inside out. Obi-Wan just didn't realise that."

"But they creemated yer."

"Ah. Well, in fact that was just a Force-induced illusion of me, after I used the Force to manipulate everyone's vision."

"Ai don't noo about tha-"

Suddenly an amused exclamation erupted from Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon turned his head to see what had caught his apprentice's attention. Obi-Wan was examining the huge pile of Star Wars merchandise located next to the main tables, with a grin on his face. He had a box in his hand.

Qui-Gon picked up one of the boxes from the same pile. "'Twelve inch Qui-Gon dolls'," he read, with a raised eyebrow.

"'Twelve inch'...My, my!" commented Obi-Wan with a grin, and quickly opened the packaging and pulled the doll out. He began eyeing the doll with a cheeky grin.

"How did _they_ know, Master?" Obi-Wan asked, teasingly.

"Good guess," muttered Qui-Gon, blushing slightly. He grabbed the doll from his apprentice's hand. Obi-Wan snatched it back.

"Oh, _no_, Master!" he said, with a glint in his eye. "I want to keep all twelve inches of you against me _all_ the time."

He grinned wickedly and tucked the doll into a hidden pocket in the folds of his robe. Suddenly both Jedi's heard a embarrassed little cough. They turned their heads back to Ewan and Liam.

"Is there a problem?" Qui-Gon asked, while letting his hand roam over his apprentice's butt.

"Ai thunk tha' Liam's kaind of...embarased bai yew tew," explained Ewan, with a grin.

"Oo ai am not!" said Liam, defending himself. "Ai just didn't realise tat yoo too waa soo...intimate...all te taime..."

Qui-Gon walked closer to the man and put an arm around his shoulder, comfortingly. He pointed a long finger over to the nearest corner of the room where a group of mainly women were standing and staring intently at them.

"See them?" he asked. Liam nodded. "I think you should go over there are have a big long talk to them, as I'm pretty sure they could get you used to the idea of me and Obi-Wan as lovers."

"Haow doo you knoo tat?"

Qui-Gon exchanged a look with Obi-Wan and they both smiled.

"We know how to recognize their kind as the Influence they emit is a strong one. Hard to resist. They are the reason we're lovers now." He patted Liam on the back and gently pushed him towards the women, who were currently scribbling notes every time Qui-Gon made physical contact or even looked at his apprentice. One of them even had a spy camera pointed at the group. Liam gave a worried look back, but went over as he was instructed.

"Ok," said Qui-Gon finally, after he had finished admiring Liam's butt. "Ewan. Tell me about yourself. Have I mentioned what beautiful eyes you have?"

Obi-Wan snorted loudly and shot his Master a disapproving look before storming off to further down the merchandise display. All the two remaining men heard were the words: "You used to say I had beautiful eyes", as the Jedi apprentice disappeared behind a life-sized cardboard cutout of himself. Qui-Gon shrugged his shoulders and continued his conversation with Ewan.

"Don't worry about him," he said. "It's all an act so that I'll run after him and comfort him. He does it all the time."

They both paused to stare at the pile of merchandise which contained the young apprentice. No one appeared, so Qui-Gon turned back to Ewan.

"Excuse me if I'm being too forward, but-"

"Would yew laike tew faind a room and have waild sex?"

Qui-Gon gulped. "Uh, yes. That's a way of putting it," he said, as Ewan jumped up from his seat and pulled the Jedi Master off through the crowd.

* * *

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan was lost. He'd wandered into the piles upon piles of Star Wars merchandise and couldn't find his way back. He'd already slashed through a stack of plastic Yodas in a desperate attempt to find freedom, but to no avail. He was currently trying to use the Force to find a path out, but it was slow and painstaking work. Finally, a glint of light, no, a beacon of hope, revealed itself through a pile of Chewie toys. He ran forward madly, throwing boxes, plastic and packaging out of the way, and threw himself against the pile. Freedom! He'd made it! The room opened up to him and he breathed in deeply, savoring every breath. Finally, he calmed himself and he remembered that he was only meant to storm off from Qui-Gon for a moment, before the disaster had befallen him. Obi-wan looked around, confused. Where _had_ his Master gone? He stumbled right and left, bumping into about eight Qui-Gon look-alikes in the process. He started to worry that he was never going to find him, at this rate. Half the room looked like Qui-Gon! Suddenly he bumped into a Maul look-alike, and glanced up to stare the Sith in the eyes. He felt an Influence overcome him. He vaguely recognised it as the Maul Influence he'd experienced earlier, and which had turned him into a twit.

"Oh...no..."

But it was too late, both for him and the Darth Maul look-alike.

"Oh! Maul! Did I mention you're looking spiffy today?!"

"Go away."

"Oh, you can't _possibly_ mean that, neighbour!"

"Yes I can. Go away you little twit or I'll cut you in two."

The Maul was feeling a strange urge to admire Obi-Wan's biceps, and as a result was desperately looking for a means to escape.

"Oh! Maul!" exclaimed Obi-Wan. "You're so funny! It's just _great_ when you joke like that!"

"No it isn't. And I wasn't joking. I'm going to kill you in the most painful way possible."

But Obi-Wan wasn't listening. He'd spotted a 12" figurine of Darth Maul and was trying to pull down its pants.

"Hey!" yelled the Maul. "Stop that! Leave my pants alone!"

Obi-Wan giggled girlishly.

"They're not your real pants, silly! _These_ are your real pants!"

"Get OFF Mooooooooohhhhhhh!!"

Obi-Wan grinned.

"See? I think we'll get along just great! Would you like me to do that again, Maul?"

"No, I woooooooooooohhhhhh!!"

Obi-Wan giggled again.

"Why do you keep saying no when you mean yes?"

"I ohhhhhh- do oooohhhh- not!"

"Yes you do, silly!" said Obi-Wan, his hand still halfway down Maul's pants. "You know, there's a lovely looking storeroom just behind us..." he motioned coyly, while fluttering his eyelashes.

Maul nearly puked.

"I'm no-ooooooooooooooo!!"

"Oh, you silly Sith! Let's go!!"

Obi-Wan dragged the half-resisting Maul behind him and into the storeroom. The door slammed shut behind them.

* * *

The Darth Maul slowly regained consciousness. He opened his eyes.

Oh shit. He'd slept with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Oh shit. He was _still_ 'sleeping' with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Hi neighbour!" chirped Obi-Wan as he continued to bounce up and down on the Sith's cock.

"Wh- OOOOooooOOO!!!"

The Maul felt the memories flooding back to him. The little twit had dragged him into the storeroom, then used his hands to do...something pretty amazing...while reaching down his pants. Then, this bit was a little hazy...he'd somehow ended up having wild, extraordinary, mind-blowing sex with the irritating Jedi. He must've passed out in ecstasy at some point...but by the look of it, the kid was _still_ going! The Maul began feeling thoughts of admiration for the Jedi's stamina, but suddenly his mind decided it wasn't the time to think as a tongue suddenly made its way across his chest and began sucking of his nipples. The last echoes of a thought managed to seep through his barely functioning brain, and told him that at least he wouldn't have to listen to the little twit's voice if he kept the boy's mouth occupied. He considered all the possibilities of that thought.

"Aaahhh-" he managed, before his brain completely shut down.

***

Meanwhile, over the far side of the Convention Hall, Liam was listening to the concept of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan as lovers being explained to him by the Slashers...

"Well...there's many different parts to this Influence of ours," explained one of the women. She pointed over to a convenient Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon chatting to each other a few metres away. "Let's use them as an example, shall we?" She scribbled something on her pad of paper, and suddenly the Qui-Gon fell to the ground, half dead.

"Nooooooooooo!!"

The Obi-Wan fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around his dying Master.

"Firstly, there's Angst," commented the woman, and motioned for Liam to watch the scene.

Tears were pouring like waterfalls from both Master and Padawan as they hugged each other close, cherishing their last moments together.

"No! Master, please don't leave me!" Obi-Wan sobbed, using all the power of the Force he could muster to try and keep his lover alive. But it was not enough.

"I...love...you...Obi-Wan," whispered Qui-Gon faintly, mouth against his loyal Padawan's cheek. "I...will...always...love...you..."

Slowly the Jedi master's eyes closed in death, and Obi-Wan let out a heart-wrenching cry of distress and pain...

"Yeah, so _that's_ angst," interrupted the woman matter-of-factly. Liam nodded, while subtly trying to wipe the tears welling in his eyes with the sleeve of his top.

"And next there's Hurt/Comfort..." The woman began scribbling furiously again on her notebook.

The dead Qui-Gon suddenly sat up with a bolt.

"Obi-Wan..."

"Master!!"

The young Padawan pressed himself closer into Qui-Gon's arms, hugging and kissing his newly revived Master passionately.

"Master! I thought you were dead!" he cried, clutching at Qui-Gon like he would never let go.

"Ohhhh, Obi-Wan!" cried Qui-Gon in return. "I didn't mean to cause you such distress! I'm so sorry!" He hugged his Padawan tight to his chest, and the young man looked up with tear-streaked eyes at his lover.

"Ohhh...Master..!"

"My Padawan...!"

The two Jedi's crushed their lips against each other, as though trying to form a physical bond that would never be broken...

"And that'd be Hurt/Comfort, as I said," interrupted the woman, with a nod to the scene.

Liam nodded again, raising his other arm to his eyes as he'd completely drenched the other sleeve.

"So let's move on to Plot What Plot, shall we?" said the woman, motioning with her head for Liam to continue watching the two Jedi's.

The two men separated their lips for a moment and stared lustfully into each other's eyes. Suddenly, Obi-Wan jumped forcefully on top of his Master, straddled his hips, and began ripping furiously at the clothes beneath him in a overly enthusiastic attempt to get Qui-Gon naked in the shortest amount of time possible. Qui-Gon followed suit, and soon both men were pressed hard up against each other, naked and horny...

"And there you go - there's a taste of PWP for you," the woman commented, reaching over absentmindedly to snap Liam's jaw back in place from where it had fallen on the ground.

"Aaagggg...right..." stammered Liam.

"And then there's Point of View..." said the woman, scribbling in her notebook.

The Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, having finished frantically screwing each other's brains out, fell apart, breathing heavily and trying to regain control of their respective brains. Suddenly Qui-Gon stood up, dressed quickly and then wandered a few paces away from his lover, then turned back and looked at the boy. He began muttering to himself, interjecting his words with various changes of facial expression.

"Does he love me?"

Ponderous look.

"Did the sex mean anything?"

Worried look.

"Was it as good for him as it was for me?"

Hopeful look.

The woman turned back to Liam. "See? There are just so many types of situations that can be Influenced. She scribbled on her notes again.

"Humour and Parody," she said, gesturing.

Obi-Wan, who had by now re-dressed himself, suddenly pointed into the crowd that had surrounded them.

"Look, Master!" he said laughing. "There's Yoda dressed as a grandmother, and Sidious is in drag!"

"Alternative Universe..." said the woman.

"Oh look, Obi-Wan - we're at a Star Wars Convention and I'm not dead!"

"Non Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan slash..."

"Oh! Hi!...Maul, isn't it?! You feel like sleeping with a Jedi Twit, as I'm not busy at the moment?!"

"Pre-Slash..."

The Maul disappeared into the crowd as quickly as he had arrived, and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan wandered coyly over to each other.

"Hi," mumbled Qui-Gon, digging a toe into the ground in nervousness.

"Hi," replied an equally as nervous Obi-Wan.

"So...like...do you want to...meet up later...and...?" asked Qui-Gon, fluttering his eyelashes, as he couldn't quite finish his sentence.

"Yeah..." Obi-Wan blushed pink. "Ok."

They both giggled cutely.

"Action and adventure..." interrupted the woman.

Suddenly both Jedi's pulled their lightsabers out and began an impressive battle with a range of Darth Mauls, Sidious's, and even Darth Vaders, who had suddenly and unexplainably found themselves attacking the two Jedi's.

"Obi-Wan!"

"Yes, Master?"

"Was that a little Anakin you just sliced in half?!"

"Err...nooo...you're imagining it, Master..."

The woman grinned. "First Time..." she said.

Suddenly the battle stopped.

"Master..." Obi-Wan muttered, biting his lip nervously.

"Padawan..." replied Qui-Gon, covering the few steps that separated them.

He reached out gently, tentatively touching Obi-Wan's lips for the first time. The young Padawan responded by slowly running his hands through his Master's hair, as the older man pulled him closer.

"Are you sure...?" Qui-Gon asked as Obi-Wan's hands roamed down into his Master's tunic.

"Yes, Master."

The woman smirked. "Fetish and Kink..."

Suddenly Obi-Wan pulled a pair of handcuffs out of the recesses of his robes, and shot Qui-Gon a very wicked grin.

"Master..." he murmured, while simultaneously pulling a delicate feather out of his pocket and running it teasingly across Qui-Gon's lips.

Qui-Gon responded by pulling a whole chicken out of _his_ robes.

"Padawan," he smirked.

Liam spluttered out his amazement as the lady laughed.

"There's more," she said with a grin. "S and M..."

Qui-Gon dropped the chicken and instead pulled a whip out. Snatching the handcuffs from Obi-Wan's grip, he spun the boy around and forced him on to his hands and knees.

"Who's been a naughty Padawan, then?" he asked, pulling down Obi-Wan's pants with one hand while raising the whip with the other.

"Romance..." said the woman.

Suddenly the whip was thrown aside and a bunch of flowers was offered to the kneeling Padawan.

"My love - for you," Qui-Gon said as he offered his gift.

"And these are for you," replied Obi-Wan as a box of chocolates were pulled out from apparently nowhere and offered to Qui-Gon.

The two love-stuck Jedi's gazed into each other's eyes happily.

"Poetry..." said the woman.

"Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?"

"OOoo, Master!"

"And finally, drama," said the woman as she scribbled away down the bottom of her pad of paper.

"I heard there were trade negotiations happening on some distant planet, Padawan," said Qui-Gon, his expression returning to normal.

"Yes, Master. The situation looks tense, but Yoda believes we are trained well enough to deal with anything which may arise." replied Obi-Wan. "And our recently developed physical bond will help us harness the Force between us to a stronger degree."

The two men wandered off into the crowd as they continued discussing the necessary details of the drama and crisis unfolding on the planet.

"And there you have it," admitted the woman, putting away her notepad. "Do you now understand?" she asked the awe-struck Irishman.

"Ermmm...I tink soo...yes..." Liam stammered, his brain slowly realising that if the Slashers were capable of doing that to two strangers, than they could probably easily do it to him as well. "So, you all have this inflooence over Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, do yoo?"

"Oh, yes," said a different woman, slightly older than the other. "See that storage room over there?" she said, pointing to a distant door. "Go in there and you'll see another example."

Liam gave the room a wary look but wandered over anyway. He was curious despite himself. As he reached the door to the storeroom he heard a chorus of moans from within. Opening the door, Liam gasped in surprise as he took in the sight of Obi-Wan bouncing enthusiastically up and down on a Maul's cock. The Maul's head turned to the door as he noticed Liam standing there, and, for the Sith's credit, his brain did manage to return long enough to come up with an explanation.

"He...OOoohhh...just...oooohhh!...keeps...OOOOhhh!...going...ahhhh!...and...Ooo!...going!!"

The mental effort of forming that sentence was too much for the poor Maul, and he fell back into a state of mind-blowing ecstasy once again.

"Errmm..." said Liam, after a few more moments of watching the sight in front of him.

This time the perky Obi-Wan noticed him and half spun around on Maul's cock in order to beam happily at Liam.

"Ooooooohhh, by the Foooooorce!!!"

Obi-Wan looked down at Maul with a grin.

"Like that did you, neighbour?" he asked cheerily, while adjusting his position once again to try his new move. Before the next round of amazing sex got underway, Liam coughed politely, not entirely sure whether he should be making conversation, watching, or just leaving. His dilemma was solved for him when Obi-Wan suddenly jumped up and ran over to him, throwing his arms around the man's neck, while trying to struggle back into his own robes.

"Hi again!!" he chirped. "It's _so_ great...to...see..." His sentence trailed off as he felt the Twit Influence weaken. He looked over to the Maul, who was still lying splattered on the floor. He looked back at Liam. He looked back at Maul again. With each turn of his head, his expression changed. Looking at Liam, it was relatively normal, but looking at Maul it turned to a overly cheery smile. Liam, quick on the uptake, realised the problem. He grabbed hold of the young Jedi and pulled him quickly out of the room and slammed the door firmly behind them. A few moments passed as Obi-Wan stood, allowing the Twit Influence to fully desert him. Finally, he turned and looked up at his saviour. His expression turned to one of adoring hero-worship.

"You rescued me!" he exclaimed, as he quickly wrapped his arms around the taller man.

Liam slapped the boy across the back of his head. Obi-Wan started to complain about the treatment he had received, but then realised that the man had only done it to relieve him of the last remnants of the Twit Influence.

"Thank you," he said at last, being careful not to allow an exclamation mark into the sentence, "that was touch and go there for a moment."

Liam nodded in acceptance of the Jedi's thanks, but as he moved to walk away, he found he was obstructed by two very determined arms still wrapped around him. He gave Obi-Wan a confused look. Maybe he hadn't cleared him of all the Influence. He tried slapping the boy on the forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Owww, dammit!" cried Obi-Wan. "Would you stop doing that! I'm cured!"

"Then whai are ya still clinging to me?" asked Liam, who was currently having an internal struggle over whether he did or did not want to boy pressing against him so close.

"Because," replied Obi-Wan, running his skilful hands down Liam's back and grabbing hold of his ass tightly, "you saved me and so I wish to repay you...in any way you should desire. " A lazy grin spread across his face.

Liam gulped. Half his brain was wagering for him to just pick obi-Wan up, chuck him over his shoulder and find a room where he could screw the boy's brains out. Yet, he'd never thought of _guys_ that way before. He knew Ewan had, as he picked roles accordingly. He now knew Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had too. He was the odd one out. *Damn!* he thought *Damn, damn, damn!* The vote count going on in his brain was ever-increasing - ten points being added to the pro-Obi-Wan side each time the boy's skillful hands roamed across his body. Suddenly Obi-Wan's hands made their way around to his chest. Then they moved lower. Then they undid his belt. Then they unzipped his pants...

*DAMMIT!!*

The last remaining brain cells in Liam's mind that hadn't committed mutiny, planted a white flag of surrender. Liam leant forward, thrust Obi-Wan over his shoulder with one arm, and rushed off across the hall towards the door, in search of a close and convenient room.

Before leaving the hall, he turned his head and his eyes locked with one of the Slashers he had been talking to before. She grinned smugly as her pen paused momentarily on her paper she'd been scribbling on.

"See?" she seemed to mouth. "Our influence is strong, I can sense it."



THE END.


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