PEEING BUDDIES


"We're not a couple. Right? You get that. Right?"

Turk looked up from his meal in the staff canteen and was greeted by the patronisingly concerned face of Dr Cox.

"Dating?" he replied, fork paused an inch from his mouth. He lowered it slowly, prepared to deal with whatever madness had overcome the man. "Nooo...we're not a couple. You think we are...*why*?"

"Oh, no," reprimanded Dr Cox, waving a finger in the air. "No, no. *I* don't think we're dating. You do. And I'm here to tell you - we're not."

"Oookay..."

Turk's reply didn't seem to convince Dr Cox, who continued with his spontaneously induced rant. "Just because I can't pee without you doesn't mean anything." Dr Cox considered his statement. "Well, yeeeeah, it's weird and slightly disturbing, but it's not *gay*."

"Peeing isn't gay," nodded Turk. "Got ya."

"Are you mocking me?" snapped back Dr Cox. "Because this is serious. Very, very serious. I can't have all the little intern kiddies trailing around me thinking that I'm dating you. That's just wrong. Right?" His eye were bulging slightly as they did when he was truly enjoying lecturing. "Peeing isn't a relationship thing. Neither is exercising together, by the way."

"Did I say it was?" Turk was almost curious now.

"You ditch your sweet little girlfriend to go running with me every afternoon. If you don't think that's gay, then buddy, there's something seriously *more* wrong with your brain that I originally thought."

Turk considered the accusation. He shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, maybe we are a couple. I hadn't thought of it like that."

"We're not a couple!" exclaimed Dr Cox, slightly too loudly. A room full of medical and surgical interns turned around and stared. "...And that's how you break up with her!" he finished, in a optimistic attempt at fooling the onlooking crowd.

Turk ducked his head lower and waited until their conversation was once again unobserved. "I can't believe you said that! That's going to get back to the nurse's station, you know!"

Dr Cox shrugged his shoulders, uncaring. "Like a single one of those gatekeepers of hell - your lovebunny excluded - would take a single word seriously once their bat-like hearing finds out it was me who said it."

Turk stared back, realising the truth of the comment and hating his partner for it. No! Not his partner, his... "We're not dating!" he hissed back, returning to their argument.

"Yar, we are."

"No! We're *not*!"

"Oh, I'm...sorry to burst your bubble, Luthor, but we're not friends, we're *dating*."

"Luthor?" Turk shook his head, completely losing track of the conversation. "*What*?"

Dr Cox rolled his eyes, appalled though clearly not surprised that Turk could not comprehend his clever references. "Luthor? Lex? Oh my god, where were you *raised*? In some backward TV-lacking planet in the Dumbass sector of the galaxy?"

Turk stared back. "Ok...now that's just nerdy. I feel it's my duty to tell you that."

After taking a deep breath, Dr Cox felt the blood pounding in his temples had settled enough to continue. "Luthor. Clark Kent. They think they're friends. But everyone else knows that they're dating. You know, like *us*?"

"I...really don't think we're Clark and Lex," replied Turk, after a moment of consideration. "Ok, so I'm bald and you're buff, but that's about as far as the likeness goes. Anyway," he continued, a little worried about the fact that there even was a comparison in his mind, "they don't pee together. Probably."

"Exactly!" shot back Dr Cox, as though that answered everything.

Turk stared back for a long moment before rising from his chair and making to leave.

"Where are you going?" 

Turk turned back and sighed. "I'm leaving. This is getting *insane*. I don't know what's happening, and I certainly don't have a *clue* what you're talking about anymore." He turned around again and trudged out of the room. It was hard enough being a surgical intern without having to deal with the madness of the medical nutcases.

******

Twenty seconds later Turk realised he was being followed.

"Oh, no, no, no!" came the nagging voice from behind him. "You can't just *leave*."

"Oh, yes I can!" shouted Turk without even turning around. "You're mad! I'm going to take a nap and hope that when I wake up this is all just a nasty dream." 

"Napping Room's this way, Hansel," shot back Dr Cox helpfully as he strutted to a door on the left and pushed it open.

After a melodramatic sigh, Turk spun around and walked back towards the room. "Do you always have to be so patronising?" he asked as he passed through the doorway. "It's just that I don't think I want to date someone who is so obviously socially psychotic."

"We're not dating," shot back Dr Cox, who then proceeded to walk in behind Turk and shut the door.

Turk turned around. "I'm not sleeping with you. Just so you know."

"Oh, I'm not sleeping with you either. I'm saving myself for someone who understands my emotional needs better."

Turk chose not to dignify that with a reply. Instead he sat down on the small bunk resting against the wall and suddenly felt...awkward. A silence fell over the room as Dr Cox hovered near the doorway, for once unsure of what to say. "We're not dating," he finally settled with.

"No..." replied Turk mildly.

"No..." A pause followed Dr Cox's words as he took the opportunity to step over to the bed and take a seat next to Turk. They both let the silence fill the room as they pondered the change of situation.

Turk decided to make the first move. 

Maybe it was not the smoothest or even the most gentle of first moves, but in retrospect, Turk believed it certainly was the best. From his position straddling an already shirtless Dr Cox, he definitely felt he'd made the right decision.

"Holy mother of Christ!" exclaimed his eager recipient, by way of feedback.

They began rubbing their groins against each other, surpassing the usual first step of kissing. Dr Cox started up a moan, low in his throat as he felt the heat of his growing erection pound through his scrubs. "We're...ohgod...notacouple..." he groaned while grabbing desperately at Turk's arse. 

"Nooo...definitely, jesuschristwhatare...? *Yesss*..." replied Turk succinctly as he grabbed either side of Dr Cox's head and leaned down to begin the long overdue stage of lip contact. They battled for a moment as they each struggled to thrust inside each other's mouths, leaving no room for breathing, but as soon as Dr Cox ran his hand down inside of Turk's scrubs, the battle was over. Turk opened his mouth wide, withdrew his tongue and almost bellowed out a deep growl.

"You didn't just come did you?" panted Dr Cox as he squeezed around the tightly throbbing cock in his hand and then down beneath. "Because I'm not even nearly ready."

Turk growled again, this time in frustration. "Didn't...come, goddothatagain... We've only got..." He began thrusting up into the tightly fisted hand. "Short...time. Gottabequick...." He leaned forward again and rejoined their mouths to stop any further conversation.

There was no complaint from his companion who had just begun enjoying the firm hand sliding down over his nipples, towards the bands of his pants. Dr Cox didn't have time to take them off and so resorted to sliding higher in the bed to hope that his pants would be forced to slide the opposite direction. It worked, and his erection broke free, pushing instantly into Turk's as they intermingled their hands in a joint attempt at masturbating each other faster to climax. 

"Ohgod, faster, anything, just...!" cried Turk as his hips joined in the hard thrusting of his hands up and down the length of cock straining next to his between his straddled thighs.

"I goddamncan't...*chriiiii-!" Dr Cox came hard, hips pushing high into the hands gripping his cock, sending them both momentarily off the bed. Turk felt his own orgasm hit him as his hips jolted forward at the motion, and he came with a muffled yell, biting his own lip to stop from screaming down the entire ward.

****

"My emotional needs? You listening to me? So. Now we've cleared that up, I hope you're not too disappointed, Dido. No reason to hang around here, considering I'm not going to do the wild thing with you in this pokey little room."

Turk snapped his head up, jolting himself out of his thoughts. "Wild thing...?"

"Yaaar. Wild thing. Sex," replied Dr Cox, who was looking suspiciously dressed for someone who had just been half naked and sweaty a moment ago. Turk had a worrying suspicion tap on his mind. "Ah, *crap*," he moaned, lying back on this bunk, hands over his face. "Goddamn JD and his contagious daydreams."

"What *are* you on about, pumpkin?" asked Dr Cox from the doorway, his hand paused on the handle. "No. Don't answer that, my mistake for asking. Just..." He stood silently a moment, an unusual and entirely unreadable expression on his face. "Don't know why I'm here. Ok."

"Maybe you wanted to do me," replied Turk, wishing the words could be retracted the second they left his mouth.

"Do you...?" Dr Cox raised an eyebrow. "Yar. I've just got to pop out to rounds now but I'll sneak back in like, whatyasay?...half an hour, and we'll go for it like bunnies. How's that with you, my little hornbag?"

Turk let a slow smirk curl his upper lip. "I'll be here," he replied, relishing the look of complete shock on his companion's face. But more so, he enjoyed the glimpse of burning arousal sparking clear within Dr Cox's eyes as he fled from the room.



THE END.


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