Hell's a fun place to visit on a good day...
by Gail (gem225@hotmail.com)
the Bible
God/the devil
Rating: adult
God and the devil come to an understanding.
Sequel to What, you were expecting flowers?
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.
Please do not archive this story without asking me first. It's more than likely that I'll agree, but I want to know where my stories are.
Warning: Please don't read if you're devoted to one religion or feel as though irreverence is a bad thing. I mean no offence to any religion.
Notes: This is for Lizz on her birthday (9/27), who is just about one of the coolest people that I have the pleasure to know, and who pays lavishly for her stories with hugs, cookies, and praise, and for Tinnean, who made me laugh so hard with her one comment on this one that I couldn't type an answer for minutes...and that's going some for me.
My betas for this one were Mareen and Greg. There aren't enough thanks in the world to give to even one of them, let alone both.
Written to the music of both VAST CDs and "Mer de Noms" by A Perfect Circle. That has to mean something.
*****
Payback's a bitch. And it's what he's waiting for. He's been waiting a long time, but time really isn't that relevant, and he has other amusements. The monkeys, for one thing. They're so...strange. He still doesn't really see what god wants them around for, but maybe it's just for a laugh or two. That he could understand.
Hell really is a fun place to be, if you're the one running it. All these monkeys can't even begin to appreciate it. They have all their little fantasies about what his realm is, as if their eyes (eyes? There was a reason for that design feature? Whatever, not his problem) had the ability to see what was going on. They only saw what they wanted to see. Horned demons, burning pits, others writhing in torment. So limited. He knew the truth of his realm, and it changed with the flick of a thought. Great way to keep boredom away.
But the monkeys aren't that amusing today, and the demons are not what he's in the mood for. Maybe he should check on god, see if he's gotten out of that funk he was in. He grins and looks over the current body. Nice sized cock, big enough, and the corkscrew look is definitely the one to have. He decides that purple's a good color, and adds some glitter for that Bowie look. Yes. Very nice. Maybe there's something he can do to cheer god up. It would only be fair.
If god won't play, he'll just have to take the game back to him.
*****
God hasn't moved in at least an eon, but an eon's really not that long when you've got something to think about, and god has definitely been thinking.
Bad idea to fall for the devil's games. But they are fun. And, this is a new thought, and it took long enough to get there, what harm did it really do? He is the head of the whole universe, and if he wants to beat and fuck the hell out of the only other being who can take it, who *wants* to take it, well, he will.
Of course, right then the devil shows up, hard and ready to go.
"Getting over it yet?" Too damned much amusement in his voice for god's taste. "If you're worried about me, I'm fine. Go home, tell the angels everything's fine. Or go and beat up one of them, for a change. See how that feels."
God's eyes travel all over the perfect body (and why wouldn't it be perfect? It was created just for the occasion, he's sure), then smiles. "Why bother with them, when you're here?"
The devil's smile is satisfied. "Well, I was beginning to wonder if I'd called you wrong." His eyes moved over god's body, which was still clothed, but in tattered jeans and a t-shirt that would have done just fine as rags. "Guess not. Does take you a while to get the idea, though..."
"You want me this time?" God's voice is husky, and the devil's licking his lips.
"Love it. One thing first." God isn't getting it, that much is clear. "Tell me you want it. Same price as last time."
There's that noise again, that thunder, and something's really, really going to happen, somewhere, somehow, and the angels are all frozen, it's going to be bad, we can't do anything, oh, it's really going to happen...
And it does.
"I want you."
And god braces himself against nothing (convenient to have the option of making what you need, isn't it?), bends, spread his legs wide, and the devil's right there, easing that corkscrew cock into him with a slow thorough care that's worse than a good hard shove all the way in, because every damned millimeter makes god moan, makes god call out the devil's name, the name that only the two of them know, and the devil can feel it change, feel the power shift, and it's never, never going to be the same, hell and heaven one, all the monkeys, all the angels and demons, everything...everything back the way it should have been all along.
And the devil hears the noise, the thunder, and lets it, god's really tight ass, which is the best, of course, and the feel of god's really hard cock in his perfectly designed hand, fingers getting every spot that'll do anything for god, all take them both over the edge into that universe-changing orgasm, and the damnedest thing is that it's really, really the best way this could end up.
Doesn't mean that evil wins, that good loses, just that you've got to have both. And now even god's got that one straight. Well, he will once he gets back to doing some thinking, and he will. But damn, he did have fun.
The devil does know how to show a guy a good time.
The End
Posted 9/27/00
