A return to childhood
by Gail
I will go back into the darkness,
take off all my clothes, stretch
my unmarked body on the sheeted
bed, and wait for you and for the ecstasy.
You did not have to force me, after all.
For you were right; I need this, even
crave it and must have it: the cold sharp
kiss of knives, the shuddering fainting
heat of blows, and always, yes,
the knowing mouth and hands and penetration.
I need them all, begging animal that I am
and always have been, always will be.
You knew this even when I was a child,
and taught my body to crave this form
of sex as addictive and deadly as heroin,
and now as necessary. I have fought
a futile action, seeking satisfaction
from others' gentle hands and tenderness,
but I return to you, with my ravenous
mouth and its incoherent begging sounds,
with this wild twisting body. My father,
do with me as you will, this meaningless
flesh, made thus to amuse you, or others.
For after all, does it really matter who performs
these particular rites of ecstasy and destruction?
