Note: This interveiw was held with Barry after he hit 72 and was taking a dump.
Reporter: So Barry, you answered the obvious questions about what 72 has meant to you. What I want to know is how you did you get out of the funk you were in right after the all-star break??
Barry: Well, I was having trouble seeing the ball and I was a bit down. Then I found out word I was traded to Field of Beans, and that made all the world of a difference.
Reporter: How so?
Barry: Well, 1st of all, I heard nothing but great things about the ownership from Big Mac when he hit 70.
Reporter: Fascinating!! Did Mark give you any advice on how to beef up your power number and not get caught using Roids?
Barry: Well, yes. He told me that Roids only have a marginal affect and can easily be traced. His true secret was Beans. He told me he had a dream with James Earl Jones before his magical season, and afterwards he understood just how important Beans are to fabric of society that we know today.
Reporter: I guess you must have thought he's smoking too many beans, if you know what I mean.
Barry: (laughing) Yes, I do. What I’m about to say is off the record, right?
Reporter: Of course.
Barry: Ok then. I think he’s a crack head and his hair really isn’t red and…………
Reporter: I think we are getting of course a bit, Barry.
Barry: Ok, Sorry. Getting back to my story. I thought he was full of it and having beans didn’t affect my urine sample. Then in later July, I found out my trade to the Field of Beans. That night I had the strangest dream. I’m can barely see and I hear what sounds like James Earl Jones. He says the following: "The one constant through all the years, Barry, has been beans. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But beans has marked the time. This lagoon, this bean patch, is a part of our past, Barry. It reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again. Oh people will come, Barry. People will most definitely come."
Reporter: Fascinating!! At what point did you realize that James Earl Jones is insane?
Barry: (starting to cry) Yeah, it’s a special moment that I will never forget. (regaining his composure) So the next day, I go to my locker, and there’s a can of beans in there. I had my other mistress cook them for me, and I hit 3 dingers out that day. Every since, I have had beans as part of my pregame ritual and also wear them in my jock strap for good luck.
Reporter: Ok, I didn’t need to know about that last part.. Does knowing this explain why you were crying like a girl with a scraped knee after you tied the record.
Barry: (pulling out a shotgun) I’m going to kill you, you ………….
