Bear with me folks... I am asking for 10-minutes of your time... you will understand (and if not, I will explain later
In Israel, we have a parliament that has 120 elected officials. The group divides into 3 major camps usually dominated by one party but consisting of a few -- the offensive-minded right-wingers (Likud, et al)... the social-minded lefties (Labor, et al)... and the religious. However, that is clrealy not good enough for us... we have these small parties that don't belong to any of these. We have parties that are for marijuana, "green" parties, parties for cab-drivers, etc. (well not all got in this time, but there are political parties for just about anything).
The leader of the largest party/faction is selected as Prime Minister -- and he negotiates with the various like-parties to form a government. However, sometimes, he is forced to look outside of his faction and make deals with "other parties" to pass legislation and/or EVEN form a government. It is truly ridiculous and humurous. What is even funnier (more pathetic) than that, is an actual session of Parliament (Knesset). Let me script one out for you...
Sharon (leader of the Likud party and Prime Minister): Ladies and gentleman of the Knesset, the new tax...
Ben-Eliezer (de-"fatso" leader of the opposition Labor Party): I STRONGLY OBJECT to that statement YOU PIECE OF SHIT, SHARON. It is inflammatory and does not take into account the needs of my constituents nor MY ABSOLUTE NEED TO LINE MY POCKETS WITH MORE FOOD.
Peres ("grandfather" of the Labor, oldest member, educated, "always loser" of elections, etc.): What my distinguished colleague meant to say is that he is a touch upset with the use of such language which, knowing our fragile situation in the Middle East must be carefully crafted so as not to offend the populations...
Omri (Sharon's son, defender of Dad): Sit down you OLD junkyard. You have nothing to offer to anyone anyway.
Bashara (head of a never-listened to Arab faction): I beliebe that we habe to listen to eberyone... eberyone needs a chance to say something, recober their long-forgotten land, and...
Gandhi (now-deceased, ultra-right wing, borderline racist, aligned with Sharon): Are we letting this Arab talk again? I cannot believe that we are...
Rabbi X (no one ever knows their names, they all have long white beards): As we are taught by our forefathers, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you"... this means that...
Bashara: Our forefathers neber said anything like that...
Gandhi2 (his #2 guy): Again he speaks? This is just plain wrong. You all know that I will NEVER, EVER speak with this guy... in fact, I am going to pretend he never even spoke.
Lapid (the centrist, could go with anyone... HATES the religious): Look, guys... we are all trying to come to terms with this new tax and find the best way to spend the money...
Sharon: Did I say tax? I didn't mean tax. I meant tax...
Ben-Eliezer: Like HELL YOU DIDN'T MEAN TAX. YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TAX MY PEOPLE FOR MONTHS NOW... WE WILL STRIKE... NO BUSES, NO GARBAGE PICKUP, NO...
Peres: Calm down Ben-Eliezer, you are making us all look like stupid idiots.
Bashara: You are all stubid...
Gandhi and Gandhi2: La La La La... someone is talking and we cannot hear him!!!! If he speaks again, we QUIT the goverment...
Omri: What my father was trying to say is...
Rabbi X: ... that he is going to take money away from us and put it into the filthy hands of the pig-eating, Sabbath-driving...
Lapid: I resemble that statement quite proudly. But we are trying to come to a conclusion about whether or not...
Ben-Eliezer: CONCLUSION???? CONCLUSION???? YOU MUST BE FUCKING KIDDING ME????? WE HAVE NOT EVEN BEGUN TO TALK ABOUT THE TAX YET!!!!!
Lapid: I am so damn frustrated and tired of all this shit. I am going to sleep.
Rabbi X: Make sure that you make the appropriate blessing on your way.
Lapid: Bless THIS
Bashara: That is the smallest little benis in the world.
Gandhi: Lalalalalalalala!!!! WE QUIT... see ya later...
Peres: I hereby invoke the cessation of all hostilities act and require Mr. Lapid to pick up his pants and we will continue this discussion next summer.
Omri: Trash!
Sharon: And all I wanted was to ask how to get to the new TAXI stop outside the building. Oy vey!!!
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There are those that say that the Wizard of Oz was a carefully crafted children's story meant to comment on the socio-political structures of America of the time. I fully admit that this story, close-to-true of Israeli politics, is a not-so-carefully crafted parallel to GMDS... you can pick out your own character... I BEG of you... PLEASE, let us NOT spiral downward into factions and wars over GMDS. Let's leave emotion and mud-slinging behind us. Never accuse nor criticze. Let us compete, discuss, and vote... and most of all HAVE FUN....
