This is a two-part series into the life and times of our own M. Joseph
Scarfo. I have decided to leave this one uncut and unedited as no one can tell
it like Scarfo can. Part 1 is the "old stuff"... the stuff that made
the man. Part 2 is modern day Scarfo.
Scarf
Name: M. Joseph Scarfo
Birthdate: March 31, 1976
Resides: Canton, CT
There are very few people in this life that can explicitly define the moment
that they knew when their life would change, but I am definitely one of
them. At the age of 18 years old, I was a wise-ass, obnoxious
self-proclaimed know-it-all. And I was heading to Florida State University,
the halls of which were recently voted the best party school in the country.
Life was good. What could go awry to change my plans? Life happened.
Plain and simple.
The first serious girlfriend I had was my date for the senior prom. We got
along great, she was a ballet dancer (and by the way.....every guy should
date a dancer because they're amazing in bed) and my life plan was on its
way.
We had a great prom, spent an awesome summer together and at the middle of
August, she was going to head to the University of Utah on a ballet
scholarship (strange it sounds I know, but the Utes have one of the best
dance programs in the country) and I was heading to Tallahassee to live it
up. Boy, did I have no idea what was going to happen.
I spent two weeks in Florida....two god damned weeks! And then I made the
most important life-altering decision that I ever made. I decided in a
dingy, rotten, cockroach infested dormitory room on the campus of Florida
State University....how I was going to lead my life. I decided to drop out
of school and apply to Utah to go to school to be with the chick. Now
obviously now I know it was a case of the little head thinking before the
big head, but at the time, it was different. I was 18 and I couldn't tell
me asshole from my elbow. But still to this day, February 4, 2004, I look
back on that day with great pride. It was then that I decided that I would
never be one of those people in life who 50 years later said...."Boy, if
I'd
have had the courage to take a chance when the opportunity arose...my whole
life would be different." I vowed that day in Florida, that I would never
be afraid to take a chance....for anything.
To make a long story short, I left Florida, went to Utah and graduated in 4
years. I ended up breaking up with the girl, but that's not the point. The
point is that on that rainy Florida day....September 2, 1994, I became a man
and knew exactly how I should lead my life. Fearless and not afraid to
live. Someone once told me when summarizing their life, "I am not afraid to
die, I am more afraid not to live every moment to its fullest." And those
words guide me to this day.
Well....I left Florida, ended up in Salt Lake City, graduated as a Ute with
some great memories......I watched Keith Van Horn, Andre Miller and Michael
Doleac lead my guys to the Final Four in 1998.....I got into sports radio
where I was an executive producer for 6 years and got to make some great
friends and have some great travels.......and I learned that everyone should
follow their dream.
I took my chance to get to the top of the broadcasting world and it didn't
work out....but I wasn't afraid to take that chance. I took the chance to
go to Utah, a place that I'd never been, but I wasn't afraid to do it. And
you know what...I'm all the better for it. I have truly lived and cannot
say that I have any regrets. I've had a great life, a great family, right
now am finally maturing a little at age 27 and enjoying every single day.
So the next time you read a post where I swear and rant and rave, realize
that I bring to this league exactly what I bring to my own everyday
life....a fire and a passion to be the best. I may not achieve it right
away (obviously if you look at the last 2 years' standings) but the fire
keeps burning. I am emotion put into words....I live for the moment and am
not afraid to die by that same moment. I love to live and part of the
reason why I enjoy this league so much is that so many guys in here have
that same burning passion for fantasy baseball that I have for so many
things in my life.
As I've said before to some people, many guys are thrilled to be very well
rounded...a sort of renaissance man. Not me at all. I like a few things in
life and I enjoy to do them quite frequently.
Some of my loves:
1. Sports
2. Fantasy Baseball
3. Poker
4. Heineken
5. Big Breasts
Obviously that list is in no particular order
Some of my hates:
1. Politics (they're all so fucking fake)
2. Parades (yeah standing around waving a fire trucks is a blast) 3. County
Fairs (what joy is there eating food that makes you sick and watch
donkeys take a dump)
4. Women Drivers (I'm sorry...they just can't drive......too fucking
indecisive)
5. People Who Won't Be Honest With You
6. Those Little Loser Bastards at the National Spelling Bee (go play with
toys when you're 9...don't read Webster's Unabridged)
On many occassions, I have spoke with that same emotion and gotten in
trouble. Christ almighty, I accused Kimo and Beerman of colluding in year
one and told Burr he was a dipshit when he was busting his ass last year
during the middle of an extremely difficult season. Both of these
instances, I let emotion get the best of me.
I know I open my mouth too much, but I'm not afraid to say I'm sorry. I
realize that sometimes I have to take my foot out of my mouth and I have the
balls to be a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong. So I'll apologize
again to anyone I've offended over the years and be brutally honest and say
that I'll probably offend someone again in the future. But that is me,
always with an opinion, always trying to get in the middle of things.
But right now I speak at 8:22 AM on February 4, 2004 as a happy guy. I am
living in a house with my lovely girlfriend Heather (who is with me in the
xmas photo), who I truly believe is a saint for dealing with me, I'm getting
ready to endulge again in some of the things I love (the league, sports, the
draft) and am getting excited with every passing day of the thoughts of Las
Vegas.
M. Scarfo of Today...Leap Day 2004.
Where am I now?
I am the assistant vice president for a small company in West Hartford,
Connecticut. I work with tax-exempt bonds and assist cities, school
districts, hospitals, etc. with a phenomenon known as arbitrage. Basically,
here's how it works. The government allows municipalities/school
districts/hospitals to invest issue tax-exempt bonds because it is for the
good of the community. Tax exempt bonds have a much lower interest rate to
pay back than taxable investments. Well, in the Reagan administration,
circa 1986, these tax exempt bond proceeds were having to be paid back at 6
percent, but they were invested in a taxable market and earning 10 and 11
percent when the market was good. This is known as an arbitrage profit and
Uncle Sam says no way. Basically, you can't make money off of borrowed
money. I measure to make sure tax exempt bond proceeds aren't making more
money that they are allowed to. Any profit must be rebate to the IRS.
Now while this sounds as interesting as watching paint dry, it's basically a
fancy way of saying I run numbers for a living. The company is small, we've
grown over 500% since I first started over 2 years ago, and within a year it
will be a multi-million dollar business. I got involved when one of my
buddies knew I came home from North Carolina after getting myself into the
rock bottom portion of my life. I had was living with my girlfriend and her
parents because I was so broke and I nearly broke her family apart.
Needless to say, it was a bad relationship, a bad experience and a bad
situation in every way. So I moved back to CT, my friend called my up and
said his girlfriend's dad needed someone to work for him and the rest is
history.
Life is strange, my boss is like a version of me 30 years older. We both
swear and scream and rant and rave. We both love to talk, and we both tend
to scream at each other in the heat of battle, and then 2 seconds after the
argument is over, be buddy buddy again.
I am one lucky son of a bitch.
I have online access almost all day and I am up to date on the latest
technology so I try to respond right away to anything involving fantasy
baseball. After seeing the wonder of technology that Ken Z and Glenn had
last year, I knew I needed one of those cool phones, so as soon as I got a
few extra bucks, I'd get one. Luck just so had it that I won $1,000 playing
cards with some really bad players over the next 3 weeks and I got one of
these high tech phones that lets me surf the net, and basically do anything
under the sun.
My home life
I have been dating the same girl for 2 years now, XXX. She is
21 and is quite a piece of work. We met through a friend of my sister and
have been going strong ever since. She is a blue eyed brunette with a
killer rack. I am definitely way overachieving with this girl. The reason
we get along so well and are so compatible is due to the fact we are both
clowns and love to have fun with each other. She is definitely a cool girl
and we're great friends. Our relationship is not flawless, but it's pretty
good. Marriage? I don't know yet.
I was engaged when I was 21 and that was a disaster, so I am very into
making sure that I don't rush things. We both don't want kids, we both
enjoy our time together (and apart) and we're both high strung people.
I'm very cautious about saying what the future will hold because I truly
believe that you can never say never. Is she the one? I hope. But only
time will tell.
My family
I am the son of Joseph and Angela Scarfo of Torrington, Connecticut. Or me
and my brothers and sisters jokingly call them....Joe and Ange. My family
kicks ass. They are really great people. My father and I are totally
fucking opposites....he's prompt, I'm a procrastinator. He's shy, I'd talk
to a wall. He's smart, I'm a dumbass....You get the point. But no doubt I
have in my mind tells me that my father is the most selfless person I've
ever met in my life. No question about it. The man would give the shirt
off his back to the people he cares about. I love him. We actually both
learn alot from each other which is pretty cool.
My mom is the blabber mouth and the emotional side of who I am. The woman
loves to talk and to meet new people. She's also goofy. One day at dinner
while I was with my fiancee (at the time) she flat out told her that she
didn't like her and that she whined too much. Straight up to her. But you
know what, she was right. The girl was a dope, but good ol' Ange just calls
em as she sees em.
What my daily life is like
I work a 40 hour week at my full time job and then I work part time for a
local lawyer who I type legal briefs for. Dude pays me $15 bucks an hour to
sit and type, so with a new house and aspirations to go play in Vegas always
riding through my head, I gladly do it.
I am a pretty simple person. I don't mind working hard when I know I can
make a difference and simply want to feel at my work that I am always part
of a team.
I could care less about a lot of the material things in life that drive so
many people.....
Car....don't give a rat's ass...I drive a 2000 Hyundai Accent that gets me
from place to place...that's all i need
Appearance.....fuck buying all these fancies clothes and being noticed by
people. I am a t shirt and jeans guy that would rather wear a ball cap than
a necktie. I am who I am and I don't give a rat's ass how people may
pre-judge me.
Things I really need to get by in life.....a roof over my head, my self
respect and the people I care about around me. That's all...not very
materialistic at all.
Previous Job:
Sports Radio Producer: Worked as an executive producer for sports radio
stations in Charlotte and Salt Lake City. Had a lot of fun doing it, met a
ton of gorgeous women, drank my face off on many occassions. The job
although fun, paid nothing and often treated you like shit.
Quote From My High School Yearbook: "It is only in our decisions that we
are important." -- Jean-Paul Sartre A motto I lead my life by today.
What I want from the future: To live every day to its fullest...will I fuck
up....probably many times along the road...but I'll just pick up the pieces
and keep on moving.
