WHO PRACTICES POLYGYNY?
WHO PRACTICES POLYGYNY? Polygyny has been practiced by mankind for thousands of years, many of the ancient Israelites were polygynous, some having hundreds of wives. King Solomon (Peace be upon him) is said to have had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. David (Dawood [Peace be upon him]) had ninety-nine and Jacob (Yaqoob [Peace be upon him]) had four. Advice given by some Jewish wise men state that no man should marry more than four wives. No early society put any restrictions on the number of wives or controlled any conditions about how they were to be treated. Jesus was not known to have spoken against polygyny. As recent as the 17th century, polygyny was practiced and accepted by the Christian Church. The Mormon Church (Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints) has allowed and practiced polygyny in the United States. Monogamy was introduced into Christianity at the time of Paul when many revisions took place in Christianity. This was done in order for the church to conform to the Greco-Roman culture where men were monogamous but owned many slaves who were free for them to use: in other words, unrestricted polygyny. Early Christians invented ideas that women were “full of sin” and man was better off to “never marry.” Since this would be the end of mankind these same people compromised and said, “marry only one.” In the American society many times when relations are strained, the husband simply deserts his wife. Then he cohabits with a prostitute or other immoral woman without marriage. Actually there are three kinds of polygyny practiced in Western societies: (1) serial polygyny, that is, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce and so on any number of times; (2) marriage to one woman but having and supporting one or more mistresses; (3) remaining unmarried and having a number of mistresses. Islam condones but discourages the first and forbids the other two. Wars cause the number of women to greatly exceed the number of men. In a monogamous society these women, left without husbands or support, resort to prostitution, illicit relationships with married men resulting in illegitimate children with no responsibility on the part of the father, or lonely spinsterhood or widowhood. Some Western men take the position that monogamy protects the rights of women. But are these men really concerned about the rights of women? The society has so many practices that exploit and suppress women, leading to women's liberation movements from the suffragettes of the early twentieth century to the feminists of today. The truth of the matter is that monogamy protects men, allowing them to “play around” without responsibility. Easy birth control and easy legal abortion has opened the door of illicit sex to woman and she has been lured into the so-called sexual revolution. But she is still the one who suffers the trauma of abortion and the side effects of the birth control methods. Taking aside the plagues of venereal disease, herpes and AIDS, the male continues to enjoy himself free of worry. Men are the ones protected by monogamy while women continue to be victims of men's desires. Polygyny is very much opposed by the male dominated society because it forces men to face up to responsibility and fidelity. It forces them to take responsibility for their polygynous inclinations and protects and provides for women and children. Among all the polygynous societies in history there were none, which limited the number of wives. All of the relationships were unrestricted. In Islam, the regulations concerning polygyny limit the number of wives a man can have while making him responsible for all of the women involved. ... Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. (Qur'an 4:3) This verse from the Qur'an allows a man to marry more than one woman but only if he can deal justly with them. Another verse says that a person is unable to deal justly between wives, thus giving permission but discouraging. Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: but turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air) ... (Qur'an 4:129) While the provision for polygyny makes the social system flexible enough to deal with all kinds of conditions, it is not necessarily recommended or preferred by Islam. Taking the example of the Prophet Muhammad (May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) is instructive. He was married to one woman, Khadijah, for twenty-five years. It was only after her death when he had reached the age of fifty that he entered into other marriages to promote friendships, establish alliances or to be an example to the community; especially to show the Muslims how to treat their spouses under different conditions of life. The Prophet (May the Peacce and Blessings of Allah be upon him) was given inspiration from God (Allah) about how to deal with multiple marriages and the difficulties encountered therein. It is not an easy matter for a man to handle two wives, two families, and two households and still be just between the two. No man of reasonable intelligence would enter into this situation without a great deal of thought and very compelling reasons (other than sexual). Some people have said that the first wife must agree to the second marriage. Others have said that the couple can put it into the marriage contract that the man will not marry a second wife. First of all, neither the Qur'an nor the Hadith states that the first wife needs to be consulted at all concerning a second marriage let alone gain her approval. Consideration and compassion on the part of the man for his first wife should prompt him to discuss the matter with her but he is not required to do so or to gain her approval. Secondly, Allah in the Qur'an has explicitly given permission for a man to marry “two or three or four.” (Qur'an 4:3) No one has the authority to make a contract forbidding something that has been granted by God (Allah). The bottom line in the marriage relationship is good morality and happiness, creating a just and cohesive society where the needs of men and women are well cared for. The present Western society, which permits free sex between consenting adults, has given rise to an abundance of irresponsible sexual relationships, an abundance of “fatherless” children, many unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming a burden on the country's welfare system. In part, such an undesirable welfare burden has given rise to a bloated budget deficit, which even an economically powerful country like the United States cannot accommodate. Bloated budget deficit has become a political football that is affecting the political system of the United States. In short, we find that artificially established monogamy has become a factor in ruining the family structure, and the social, economic and political systems of the country. It must be a prophet, and indeed it was the Prophet Muhammad (May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him), who directed Muslims to get married or observe patience until one gets married. `Abdullah b. Mas`ud, one of the prophet's companions reported God's (Allah's) Messenger (May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be upon him) as saying: “Young man, those of you who can support a wife should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.” (Bukhari and Muslim). Islam wants people to be married and to develop a good family structure. Also Islam realizes the requirements of the society and the individual in special circumstances where polygyny can be the solution to problems. Therefore, Islam allows polygyny, limiting the number of wives to four, but does not require or even recommend polygyny. In the Muslim societies of our times, polygyny is not frequently practiced despite legal permission in many countries. On the other hand, it appears that the (American) male is very polygynous, getting away with not taking responsibility for the families for which he should be responsible. By: Mary Ali
