Hard to believe.
Seems like years.
Since it all began.
How time passed me by.
Was so absolutely sure.
I could make it on my own.
Now, it takes all that I have.
Not to just sit and cry.
All my childhood memories of
love and happiness. Erased
away with visions of pain
and fear. Why could I not see.
What was happening to me.
Was so young, would only
listen to what I wanted to hear.
A man I once thought, would be
the only one. A marriage I
entered. Envisioned to be so
right. My life, my freedom.
My reason for living. A
relationship that changed to
torture it seems overnight.
In the middle of all the
pain and fighting for my
very own life. I looked to my
friends for help. But, they
were no longer there. They
chose to leave me behind with
words that lingered. "A
bad situation they could
no longer stand to bear."
Alone, often I would drift
into a fantasy world. Free
from any hurt. But, reality
would return. Shattering,
bringing face to face combat.
Screams and pleas to God,
begging for one more reprieve.
Wondering how many more times
would he be there to save me.
No longer a child. With a
baby of my own. Decisions
had to be made. Another than
myself to be saved. A child
of one, so little, so dear.
Too much suffering for one
of her age. Her actions alone
one terrible night. Brought it
to an end. So small, yet so brave.
Reflecting back now. I sit here
all alone. Unable to regain the
life, love and wonder so many
share. My little girl, all grown.
Hauting memories and sadness
surround me everywhere.
Even now, I wonder still. If
it might yet be possible. If
there's someone out there. Waiting
to come to my rescue. Bring
comfort, truly love me. If so,
do I have the strength to dare.
© "mcrep" 1999
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