This guide has an 89% success rate, and can be applied to most males. Key tips: overload the Axe, choose an affectation, pretend a lot of girls are interested in you, and most importantly, (though many girls will deny it), look hot.
**If you are at one of John's parties, skip to step 5. For full satisfaction, begin from step 1. 1. Pretend to focus all your attention on the girl of interest; tell her she's unique, and act as if you are very lucky to spend time with her. 2. Invite her to her house. Don't put any moves on her yet. Hold the door for her, buy her dinner and tell her she's pretty. 3. Repeat step 2 at least five times. During the fifth time, you may peck her. 4. Buy her jewelry and begin fantasizing with her about a future with lots of kids, a dog and a big house. 5. At the house, get alone with her in a dark room. (If this is your first step, she must have had at least 5 drinks). Pull philosophies out of your ass, such as, "Love overcomes all." Eventually start connecting these philosophies to sex. Here are some good ones if you're too dumb to think of them yourself: "Sex is the highest form of love," or "Bodily rhythms symbolize the eternity of God." 6. Start to take off her shirt. It's easy from here. Note: If you feel you must adjust your package before the hook-up do so very gently because you may get an erection otherwise. Girls hate penises. Post-sex tips: Sooner or later she will realize you are using her. At school, avoid all eye contact with her. DO NOT return her calls and NEVER address her by her name. Talk about her as an object when you are talking to your friends. Mention how you scored whenever you are outside of class. To avoid having rumors spread about you, bribe anyone who knows about your encounter with a ticket to John's next party.