Another Affectation to put on your College Application

It began as team spirit for PC High's cross country ski team. Everyone was supposed to dress up like a pirate, but Mark decided prolong the costume for the whole year because it improved his social status. Before he adopted the name Blackbeard McGoldsmiter, he only "scored" with three girls instead of four, only got invited to sixteen house parties instead of nineteen and was only in four honors classes instead of five. He also needed a theme to hide his pubescent thinness, acne and sideburns.

When asked math problems, Mark would yell: "Yarr, tis the plank I shall smote thee." He went to the nurse, claiming he had scurvy. He cut a ship out of tin foil and "sailed" across Main Stream, yelling, "Surrender ye timbers to my ship!". Mark got laid in his metal pirate ship, but only because a freshman thought he was a teacher dressed up for halloween. He was invited to more house parties, but little did he know he was the object of mockery to intoxicated morons. Mark graduated, ditched the pirate affectation, and now attends Hampshire, majoting in philosophy. Maybe pumping girls with uselesss theories will help him get laid yet again.

Blackbeard's Friend #1
Astronauts!
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