new story here wisdom teeth boy
story goes here dood
{{{{ THE ARCHIVES }}}} 19 June 2002 - WHAT A LADY WHAT A NIGHT by Abdid-yama Untousandtimes
Was the eve of April 20th, quiet night for some, one hellova night for others. For one man in particular, this was going to be the night of all nights, well maybe the nightmare of all nightmares! The party started at emma's 18th where a fun night was had by all, drinks were drunk, dances were danced. A few particulars had a little too much to drink, imparticularly one Craig Philp and Allan "Boong, Moof" Davis. The bacardi took a particular liking to its new host (Boong) and the man went wild, dancing in his thongs and boardies tearing up the dance floor. Even Mark "Grandpa" Leese got a few under his belt as the saying goes, while the wifes away the men will play. Well Al started a few people and it was now time to leave, but the night was still young and the boong daddy was just beginning. So, the party was left and a young kris spann drove to sam's house where we were lucky to arrive as Allan constantly had his hands around the drivers throat. But too our suprise another party was live and kicking. This is where Al's night of fun begins, with many a bacardi under his belt he set on his ways tuning chicks, but more importantly humiliating the guys, thus giving him the best chance of some action. But this went one step too far when telling a midget how good his mum was the previous nite. The short of the story is midget man took a disliking to this and proceeded to punch allan repeatedly in the head. But the little fag didn't have the man power to knock over a man that couldn't stand by himself, until about ten punches later. So, the question u ask is, where were his loyal friends in this time of need, well Craig was happily passed out on the cricket pitch after feeding the dogs, kris and sam well to this day we don't know, and mark leese, well where else would he be but watching the spectacle. YEs thats right, it is reported that the turkey sat and watched al get picked and done by a little fag. Al by this stage was heart brocken, the hurricanes, moral was low, very low. So when a nice young lady came and cheered him up how on earth was he to say no?!?! Well, hindsight is a wonderful thing and i really think maybe he shoulda, considering that the lady concerned was one .... Burns, yes sister of Natalle and 4 years younger, just as hmmmmm good on the eyes? Dunno check the yearbook for yourself, YR 9 Antares. Hmmmmmmm yummy. Sorry just think the man coulda caught something of a bit better quality. But ask the boong about the incident and he will say what?, never happened, your dreaming. Well baby, sweet dreams are made of this! Abdid-yama Untousandtimes signing out for YA MAMMA'S MILK
28 June 2002 - A Quick Informative Stanza on Krisso's Birthday Bonanza by Inyamum Al-Nyte
I'll Let you in on an age tendered tale Told by those once known back at Yale It talks quite highly of a prophecised date Reputed to bring laughter to new and old mates
The legend itself tells of a night quite absurd A Band belting out rhythms to round up the heard And Flock they will to this aussie bush setting In attempts to star in moments worth never forgetting
A crowd of round fifty, with doonaz in arms Will gather to celebrate a birthday 'mongst farms As the crowd grows full strength the catch-ups shall pause As the virgin birthday singer recieves their applause
The dancing and craziness will not then cease Till the little old sun pokes it's head in the East Bringing with it a time then for sleeping Whilst the rat racing world around just begins peeping
For on this night, an escape will be made And those in prescence will temporarily cease trade The westerly world will look on and see That happiness and friendships hold the great key
So to unlock the door to this prophecised time Make present yourself and bring your wine Warm Sleeping Rugs will help to settle the chill If they are not brought then you may just turn ill
A chair too is needed by most that attend Else legs will be sore when festivities end But if you're looking, like most, to not stop all night Then the spirit of the time will in you be alight
When the legendary date becomes present day Please Travel Safely when on your way For the gold at the end of the 2CD drive Is sure to bring pleasure to all that arrive
- this reading was taken from the book of Pharms verses 1-18 by Inyamum Al-Nyte
8 July 2002 - Three Boys Called 'A bunch of F*ckin Idiots by Track Operator - by Abdid-yamuma Untousandtimes
Convo to Police: Track Operator: Hello? Is that the police? I'd like to file a complaint, three fucken idiots went to my cart track on the 8th of July 2002, drove like maniacs, wrecked our property, and almost killed several people, including myself. I want to them charged!
Police Officer: Well just explain to me what happened sir? Track Operator: Well from the time i arrived they spelt trouble, they harrased the payment officer and also some fine looking customers that we had in at the time. Then i gave them there orders and they were off, not too bad cept for the afro looking fella, couldn't drive to well, maybe the mop was over his eyes. Police officer: Enough with the name calling sir explain what they did wrong. Track operator: Well after about ten minutes they started a bit stupid, going too fast cutting corners, so i told them to slow down and seperate. Well next lap the red head is stuck behind one of the hot chicks and is getting frustrated, so he goes up the inside where she cuts him off into the tyre wall throwing tyres at me and trashing the go kart. Looked like someone had driven straight into a brick wall the tyres were facing in opposite directions. So naturally after having my life put into jeopardy like that i got out and started abusing him, called him a fucking idiot and banished him from the track. Then the little bastard refused finding out that he still had 15 minutes to go refused, telling me i couldn't make him and threatened to sue my arse, so i let him get back in and after a quick fix of the steering column he was off again. I know i shouldn't have let him back on but i was scared he'd sue me, i need that money man, i gotta support me and my mothers drug habit u know how it is? Well then no less then 2 laps later the lanky looking fella, looked a bit like he was from the beetles, cut a corner in an out of control frenzy, and a poor overtaking attemt and appruptly spun several times, nearly missing the hot girl before ending his race crashing into a rather large tyre wall. It woulda killed her if he hit her. Stupid wanker. I walked up to him and told him exactly what i thought, telling him he was driving like a fucken idiot and he was off, the kart was beyond repair. Police Officer: What exactly would u like to do about this sir? They weren't braking any road rules and besides, the afro fella drove like a pussy , didn't he? Track Operator: Well firstly, arrest the mop heads mum for comin over to my house every fuckin night of the week. Then, while you've got the handcuffs out, tie the three of the crazy arsed drivers to back of my kart while i hit 10kph, a respectible speed, not like those crazy fuckers doin 60 round corners an stuff. Basically, i'm gonna go have a teary cos i can't drive as good as the fuckaz and they nearly hit my pimpesses on the track. Police Officer: You're a poofter mate! ... hangs up... beep beep beep ... so where were we laurel? oh yeh baby, that's right, let me drive your puss like your puss of a son does a go kart, nice an slow ... the policeman proceeds with his officework.The Big Smoked Gets Burnt by The Mum-Smokers This little story begins with a virgin to the towning experience Kris Spann. The thursday after his birthday he piked out on the town scene preferring to get a nights sleep under his belt instead of undoing his belt and sleeping the night away. Anyway, the thursday after, after this little boy finished his night's work at bunnings he was joined by the fro, the nuts an the chest on a train to the city. They hit the pavement at about 10 an after a slow start, and jim finally hiding his bottle of shnapps in the casino locker, the bunch finally headed to city rowers, lured by the prospect of many a one dollar drink. Fire engines, rum/bourbon an cokes, XXXX's and vodka an orange juices all fell down in quick an numerous concession, giving way to the sharing of many a story outside on the balcony. Tales were told of an unconcious mutual feeling session between jim an the boon new years eve, mark's pleasant memories of miss grebes kissing expertise, craig's admittance to having progressed to a certain level with a special blonde haired lass and al davis was payed out about his 'hardcore makeout session' with larry at wet n wild. After many other a secret was shared, most interestingly that of larissa's flexibility..., the boys, now very drunk, were joined by liz perry an friend round the table. This introduction drew conversation to adam's pram pushing expertise and the disgust it brings to his poor sister liz. Also, Al loudly pointed and shouted about the spotting of a blue g-banger worn by one of lil's friends, soon after the boys made retreat to the pokies downstairs. A short story to be told here, we met up with the melanie's bartender, craig made 1 buck turn into five and then mark proceeded to use craig's winnings to feed his own sprouting gambling problem. From Rowers the boys headed toward Fridays to meet up with craig's mate brendan an to see the band who were reputedly playing. They never found out if the band were any good, and never got to share a drink with brendon, all because of their black friend allan. The boong daddy (and no-one else) was refused entry to rowers because he had been spotted by the manager as having had a little too much to drink and looking a bit rowdy, well, that's what the bouncer said to start with. Later in the conversation the truth about why the fro (at that time the most sober out of the whole group) was disallowed entry came out, the bouncer finished off by saying 'We're trying to improve the image of the club'. Haha, thank god the Hurricane wasn't roaring to go otherwise the night could've been ended right there with that little comment. If only we'd've told the bouncer to put the word laurel somewhere in that sentence maybe this would've been the case. Anyway, having all agreed that Fridays is THE MOST FUCKED CLUB IN THE CITY, the boys headed off in the direction of hungrys to break the seal an get a feed. On the way Al tried his pickup moves out on a cuppla ugly bitches walking in the same direction. In his dejected state the only moves he came up with were his 'pay them out about going to UQ' strategies. These obviously were unsuccesful. At hungry jacks the boys decided the best way to raise the mood of the night was to head to a strip bar, so off to THE MINX. After Jim went an tuned the chic out the front an got the price of entry from 16 to 6 dollars, it wasn't too hard to convince the totally maggerted mark and always keen for a perve philp to front up with the fee and enter the basement. IT WAS THE SHIT, the bomb! The boys entered through the door, giggling all the way, sitting their devious looking faces down in the back corner of the club. After the girlish giggling had finally ceased and the boys started to thoroughly enjoy the dancing on display, their true sexual aura began to spread it's wings and back with it brought THE HOTTEST BITCH the fellaz had ever laid eyes on. This 17 looking 22 year old began shaking her thing in front of her friends in the chair next to the boys and when she saw the boys toungues flopping down to the floor she began to make her way over. By some fuckin wrong bloody wrong freak of nature there happened to be a table positioned infront of the mop of the group. The hot chic sat herself down, legs open, cleavage at eye level and placing her soft, pure hands restfully on al's legs. No lies are told when it is said that Allan Ronald Davis shat himself sixteen times when he realised what was happening was actually real. After about two minutes of chit chat by the young lass, Al squeakingly came out with 'do you have a boyfriend?' to which she replied, 'no, i've just got fuck friends'. This apparently aroused the moof so much that his next question was 'so what do you charge'. Kris was shocked at this question, waiting on al to be bitch slapped as his untrained eyes could not recognise her for what she was, but sure enough she came out with '50 bucks for 15 minutes and you can touch up here, but not down here'. At this moment Al started counting his pennies in his head, but before he could finish she had 'dick teasingly' wandered off. This is when jim reached into his wallet and started waving 50 bucks in front of Al's eyes, but as much as he wanted to, for some unknown reason he didn't follow up her offer, Al himself doesn't know why he didn't so how can we ever? Maybe he had already shot his white chocolate over the insane poll dancing that lay only 5 metres from the group, he probably wouldn't be alone... haha. After this experience, the boys were forced out of the club by a winging mark leese when a dancer with a severe lack of titty action spent about four songs up on the stage desperately trying to get money put in her panties but continually gettting tragically shot down had put him 'to sleep'. Really Mark was just starting to sober up and think of the shit he could potentially be in for being in the club. Not even the chic in a bikini sitting in a spa two metres away from him could change his mind. So the boys headed off, met up with matty k, bredan and kaed then went off to the casino. At 3 o'clock the casino was still swinging, an craig the fuckin freak was definitely making the most of the monkey bars. Up 55 bucks at one stage he had returned to his blackjack an roulette mastery of old, but was only showed up by one person in the casino, the biggest casino freak of them all jimbo. This time it wasn't 1 dollar in the pokies that pulled his arse across the line, but a black 100 dollar chip lying innocently unattended on the floor. If it wasn't for this chip he woulda been down 30 bucks but fuck me is this man freakish or what? After jim's find, energies were turned to trying to get al davis an mark leese the lutheran anti gambling lesbians to have a bid, but unfortunately unless mark got his way an used other people's money to gamble with (because for some reason he thinks that everyone should shout him when the group goes out) it wasn't going to happen. After this unsuccessful effort the boys bailed into a taxi, let themselves into the Perry's Workshop and crashed on the floor to end their great night of fun an laughter. THE END