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Da Link
"Marvelous" Alize
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"The Ladies Man" Tim Jones
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June 15, 2002
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3-0
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Da Link vs. "The Ladies Man" Tim Jones
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:~: Dear Diary, Well it's been a two day rest. Between those two days of my time off, I went to my aunt's house for some of her famous Baked Apple Pie. No one had ever been nice to me in the past 3 years. I also ran upon her television set and I seen red pixie dust fly from the sky. It seems as if my opponent, Tim Jones has yet to bring up a promo. I found it quite amusing though, how these cameraman can just find so many different places to hide their cameras. Speaking of Cameramen, I let one of them come into my house with me, and he recieved some good pleasure from one of my sluts, but the damn idiot recorded it. What a load of bull shit from him.. Now, I might get fired, or suspended or something like that. But that's ok, maybe a little time off will help me. I have yet to get my ankles wet in this business. Today, I am still over my aunt's house and I got to teach my little cousin how to ride a bike. What fun it would be.. Yeah, fun..
:~: Our camera starts off as Da Link mentioned, in Kansas. We are out in a barn-field environment where every house is about fifteen miles apart from each other. We see the sun blazing and we hear the sound of birds as they are chripping in the trees. It is the real sound of the north, peace and quiet. We now switch our cameras over and we hear the quiet sound of laughter in the background, followed by the mooing of a cow. We move our camera over and we see a little boy, probably around 5 on a bicycle. He looks to not be able to ride it, but is coasting it down the grass hill. Then over by the cow we see a middle-aged woman milking the cow to provide the family with good milk. We then see the door open wide open and we hear a loud "AHH" and we see that is Da Link. Da Link is wearing nothing but some blue overalls, black boots, and a brown straw hat on his head. He has a small piece of straw in his mouth. He walks outside to the little kid and then he speaks..
Da Link: What's sup little guy? You ready to learn how to ride that bike?
~ The kid, who now has a snotty nose, looks at Link and nods his head. He then trys to paddle back up to Link and he makes it pass two paddles and then he falls to the side. Da Link, who found it funny, try not to laugh in the kids face, he turn around and he snickers a little bit before turning back and speaking to the kid.
Da Link: Oh, kid, we always make mistakes, our first time. What you got to do is say in your mind that you can do it. You got to say that you can beat any obstacle that stands in your way. That's why I'm going to be so strong in the ICWF. IT's about power and spirit, not mind games and twenty minute promo movies by the quote on quote, "Ladies Men". Timothy Jones, I find it quite funny how it is that you are the ladies man, but yet you have no women. What's the matter Timothy? Are you slipping? Is your Mack Wack? Did you get played by the player? Or is it just because you suck? Well Link take a pick.. I choose all of the above. Tim Jones, you think that ODJ gave you this match as a match to freeze up some oppurtunity of a lifetime or something? Well, you better speak up of forever hold your peace... Cracker Boy!
Kid: Hey! You are supposed to be helping me! Who are you talking too anyway?
Da Link: Look back Joey. Look at the camera! Wave to your mommy and daddy back in St. Louis.
Kid: Hey Mommy!
Da Link: Come on, Joey, I got to get you to learn how to ride that bike. First, of all you got to balance yourself. Sit on the seat and just think of naked women... I mean you got to think of it being your last time ever. It's the end of the world and everyone is telling you that you can't do this, and you can't do that. Well, you want to let them know that you can do it.. You can do it.. You can ride that bike.. Now, get on your ass and ride that bike!!!
~ The kid then hits himself in the chest as if he was King Kong and he then jumps back on the bike. With a a determined look on his face, he starts to paddle his legs and he starts to move futher, and futher than before, and he makes it towards the end of the hill but before he notices, there's nothing but air beneath him!! The kid falls and crashes into a trash can. Da Link then runs and before he makes it, he stops as his mind can now sense something in his mind that won't stand out. He runs and he see the kid laid out with blood coming out of his head.. Da Link stops and speak.
Da Link: Poor, Poor child, I thought that you can do it. But yet you failed.. Man, I don't know nothing to say but Damn. I could sense something bad was going to happen when you fell but I got to think of bigger and better things to fry, like Timmy Jones. Tim Jones, I let you ride and I let you get a two day extenstion on our contract. But yet you come around with this no show-but still get a paycheck-shit? What type of 2nd World Shit it that? I want you to know that I play a little mind game of my own. Except for the fact that this game is a game in which a person character is put up to the test. You got some character do you not? Oh well, I thought you did.. But Tim Jones, I want you to pray before you get in the ring with me. You must think, I'm The ICE-Man or something. I don't speak lots of shit and don't back it up. You know Tim Jones, I want you to be a good slut and listen, you are going to commit suicide at the hands of Da Link, The Bottom Link will crush you down and leave you out to die just like I did my other two opponents.. Now, Tim Jones, I leave you alone while I teach Joey to ride a bike... so you can put up another No-Show Production.. But before you leave, Tuesday night, I will prove that they don't call me Da Man, Da Myth, Da Legend, Da Link for nothing!
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