The Windows NT 5.0 chicken: It will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

The OS/2 chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

The Windows 95 chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like....chicken.

Microsoft Chicken(TM): It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

The OOP chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

The Assembler chicken: First, it builds the road....

The C chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.

The C++ chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer it to the other side.

The Prolog chicken: How it crosses the road doesn't matter--but ask it why and it'll tell you.

The VB Chicken: USHIGHWAYS!TheRoad.cross(aChicken)

The Delphi chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

The Java chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

The Web chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keep on running.

The Gopher chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

The Newton chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.

The Cray chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

The Quantum Logic chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

The Lotus chicken: Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way we do!

The Byte chicken: It's started talking about all the great roads it crossed ten and fifteen years ago.

The Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

The adventure chicken: "CROSS the road WITH the LIGHTS." "I can't do that."