He's back, and he's packing more heat than ever before. If you've spent the last couple of years gagging for the next-generation debut of everyone's favourite amoral rodent, your time has come: Conker: Live & Uncut sees our hero return for a riotous multiplayer-heavy battle-fest which should sort out the Squirrels from the Tediz once and for all.
Whether you choose to play a defensive game or lead the assault directly down the opposition's throat, you'll never be empty-handed for long: from old favourites knife, katana and baseball bat though shotgun and sniper rifle to some of the weapons making their first appearance, all the good stuff's here, and you'd be hard-pressed to find a more brutal and varied videogame armoury. Which is just as well, because you might be surprised at just how relentless and bloodthirsty an army of scowling cartoon animals can be.
Also, if you were paying attention to the title, you'll realise that the Live elements only make up part of the package - the rest consists of the classic solo outing Conker's Bad Fur Day, here not only in its entirety but actually expanded with extra footage that didn't make the original cut. If you missed it the first time around, you owe it to yourself to experience Conker's BFD to see just how funny (and foul) a game can be.
Conker: Live & Uncut hasn't been tagged with a release date just yet, but keep watching the skies (for defenstrated Tediz) and we'll be sure to let you know when the game nears completion. In the meantime, keep your shooter out and your helmet polished - there's a war comin'.
Ever since that cuddly little squirrel appeared in Diddy Kong Racing all those years ago, the gaming world has been intrigued by Conker's mischievous antics. It comes as no surprise that when Conker's Bad Fur Day was released, it was met with a hail of praise from industry critics, some reviewers even going as far as giving it a perfect score. However, CBFD performed horribly in the shops, selling just 300,000 copies in America. For the 4 years of work put into the game, Rare was not repaid for its efforts.
Now though, the world will finally witness the beauty of Conker's Bad Fur Day in a uncut, uncensored and sexy new look. Conker: Live and Uncut is basically a remake of the original, with the added bonus of full Xbox Live capabilities.
Single Player
For those unfamiliar with the storyline of Conker: Live and Uncut - which will remain almost identical to that of Conker's Bad Fur Day - Live and Uncut centres around the adventure of Conker, an alcoholic squirrel who is known for going over the edge when it comes to the drink. After leaving the pub following a heavy night on the grog, Conker is so tanked he can't seem to find his way home. He stumbles across a scarecrow named Birdy who offers him a magical way to relieve his alcoholism. Sober and desperate for home, Conker wanders into a world full of problems. Hunted down by killer wasps, attacked by flying dung beetles, forced to trudge through poo, hassled by a fast talking paint-brush and seduced by a big breasted sun flower are all things Conker will have to contend with if he wants to get home.
For those more bloodthirsty gamers among us, Conker: Live and Uncut will feature all the shocking scenarios that had us scraping our jaws off the floor while playing Conker's Bad Fur Day. The Matrix spoof will return in all its glory, a highlight of the original, as will the Saving Private Ryan take-off that was done magnificently by the Rare lads. To add to the already classic single player mode will be never-before scenes that were cut from the original. Ever since Conker's Bad Fur Day release, Rare has always quietly mentioned the fact that's some of the juicer moments were locked up tight in the Manor Park vault, never to be seen by anyone other than a select few. Now though, Xbox owners will be able to play through the unedited version of the game, where nothing will be held back. Does this mean all swearing will be uncensored? It's unlikely that the more vulgar terms will slip past the rating board, so probably not, however, the over the top violence will be more outrageous than ever.
To add the icing on the cake, the single player mode will receive a huge graphical upgrade. Textures are improved, and when in motion, the game looks so much sharper than its N64 predecessor. Although graphics in Conker's Bad Fur Day were almost perfect for the generation, gamers will be amazed and how the graphics have improved. Major gripes in CBFD centred around the framerate, and although the E3 demo appeared choppy, by the time Live and Uncut's 2004 release approaches, there's little doubt the game will be anything but smooth, something Rare has had trouble achieving with its games in the past.
Xbox Live Capabilities
Although the promise of an updated single player mode is nice, it's the Xbox Live multiplayer mode that will be the focus of Live and Uncut. The Xbox Live mode enables a maximum of 16 players to engage in a number of scenario-based gameplay modes, each with their own story. Unlike the N64 original premise of 'shoot everything that moves', Live and Uncut requires the player to complete a number of small tasks that collectively work to achieve the overall goal of the team.
The maps that up to 3 or 4 teams can compete in vary, but most are designed so they work best with the scenarios Rare has provided. One of these scenarios which returns from the original is 'Heist', the inventive game-mode which place teams of 4 in a quest to rob a bank. A new addition to the multiplayer stakes is the game 'Alien Base', and obvious spoof from the 1987 movie classic, 'Alien'. Set in a deserted army base, players must survive the constant onslaught of bloodthirsty aliens, intent on terminating any living creature but themselves.
The much revered Tediz make a welcome return as the squirrels main enemy, and these stuffed monsters will surely prove more than a challenge for players as they race to complete their goals. There is rumoured to be a total of 7 different modes in which teams can compete in, but Rare Extreme would not be surprised in the slightest if many more pop up as the game nears completion.
The humour and violence which CBFD is renowned for is evident not just in the single player mode, but also in the Xbox Live modes. Players will have access to over 20 different kinds of weapons, including uzi's, machine guns, sniper rifles, bazookas, flamethrowers, throwing knifes, hand guns, chain saws, double swords, grenades, and much, much more! Interestingly, the levels that appeared in the E3 demo featured a helicopter, which allowed players to fly above their enemies and rain machine gun fire down on anything within view. However, a couple of cleverly placed bazooka missiles will rendered the copter nothing more than twisted and smouldering metal. These weapons deal hilariously exaggerated amounts of violence, with blood spewing from every body part imaginable. Players will be able to decapitate, mutilate, burn and explode their enemies in grossly graphic violence. We can't wait.
Controls in Conker: Live and Uncut's E3 demo were simple and easy to pick up. Aiming and shooting takes a leaf from Goldeneye and Perfect Dark's book, where a perfectly weighted aiming reticule enabled the players to make precise shots at their enemies. Character control is similar to the N64 version, but obviously adapted to the drastically different Xbox controller. Small inconsistencies were apparent in the E3 demo, but these demos are prone to having lacklustre control set-ups, where the main focus in gameplay. Clearly, these niggles will be optimised before release.
Outlook
As it stands, there are not many Xbox titles that are more anticipated than Conker: Live and Uncut. The promise of an updated, unedited, obscenity filled adventure, complete with singing bog, a sexually deprived bee, a homosexual cog and Matrix spoofs better than the movie itself, will make the wait for the release very, very hard. Somehow, the prospects of highly detailed vomit spewing from the mouth of a squirrel at 60fps in 24-bit colour is extremely appealing.
I've been a loyal member of the gagging community for just over two years, and right now it definitinetly seems worth the wait. The game looks amazing, and appears ready to improve upon a nearly perfect original. The only major disapointment I have with Conker Live and Uncut is the lack of a new one player storyline. For that I guess we'll have to wait for Conker3. Anyway, can't wait to see you on the battlefield in 2004!
