This is not a list of the best actors in existence.
This is not a list of my personal favourite actors.
This is not a harem.
This is a harem on hormones.
The following is a list of actors – and now musicians, as well! – who fall into the category of Eye Candy. This page is not about anything but flat-out, shameless physical attraction. Listed next to each name is a few suggestions for viewing material, not based on quality, but simply by how many buckets are needed to collect all of the saliva generated during a single viewing. After the viewing suggestions follows a brief description of each actor (or musician) in...very tasty terms. And then, of course, we have links to _lovely_ photo galleries that I heartily recommend. So get your mop and enjoy!
Ben Affleck: Dogma, Shakespeare in Love (M&Ms – very popular, which is easy when you are so good)
BenAffleck.com
Shawn Ashmore: X-Men, Smallville [“Leech” and “Asylum”], and, yes, even Animorphs (blue popsicle – because he’s Iceman, and because I’m fast running out of ideas)
Blame Duckie for suggesting the candy.
The Ashmore Archives
Sean Astin: Lord of the Rings, Harrison Bergeron (powdered sugar – really bloody sweet and it always looks good)
SANET
Christian Bale: Little Women, Newsies, Equilibrium, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Batman Begins, The Prestige (Hershey's with almonds - absolutely _heavenly_, and almonds are good for you - substance!)
Christian Bale.net
Jamie Bamber: Horatio Hornblower, Battlestar Galactica (Pirouett cookies - those long, spirally looking wafer cookies filled with chocolate and hazelnut. They're marvelous, and they make you feel slightly elegant)
Jamie Bamber: This is Your Website
John Barrowman: Doctor Who Season 27, Torchwood (chocolate chip orange cookies – unexpectedly tasty, strong, and with a bit of a fruity after taste)
john-barrowman-net
Sean Bean: Equilibrium, Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, Goldeneye (super-saturated peach tea - sophisticated, makes you feel like an intellectual, and _way_ too sweet to be good for you)
Full of Beans
Rob Benedict: Threshold, “Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding” (Tootsie rolls – sweet, cute little things that may not be as decadent as others, but are still tasty)
Billy Boyd: Lord of the Rings (starlight mint – Sort of childish and leaves you feeling all clean and refreshed and happy and stuff, but not terribly eloquent. I'm not terribly eloquent, that is)
Boydism
Kenneth Branagh: Henry V, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, Much Ado About Nothing (Kit Kat - because he's Kat's favourite ^_^)
Branagh Compendium
James Callis: Bridget Jones' Diary, Edge of Reason, Battlestar Galactica (candy apple lollipop - mouth-wateringly tasty, but sour enough to make your jaw ache)
Dr. Gaius Baltar on Galactica.TV
Paul Campbell: Battlestar Galactica, Nobody's Watching (milk chocolate bunny - delicious, but adorable enough that you hesitate to bite the head off)
Paul-Campbell.net
Chris Conrad: Young Hercules (tootsie pop – he looks tough and hard on the outside, but he’s really just a softie. [Okay, so I really don’t know anything about Chris. I’m just describing Jason, here...])
Chris Conrad by TheRose!
Terence Corrigan: Horatio Hornblower: Mutiny and Retribution (White Rabbits - Chinese candies almost like tootsie rolls, only better and wrapped in rice paper. They're very white and not for everyone. Just like this little sweetie…)
The Cerdonic Empire Presents Terence Corrigan
Christian Coulson: The Hours (for about 10 seconds...), The Forsyte Saga Pts. 5 & 6, Horatio Hornblower: Loyalty (Strawberry Cream Saver - smooth, sweet, and good for sore throats [actually, I don't know that Christian is good for sore throats... I will have to watch Loyalty next time I have one])
Christian Coulson Camp – The Gallery
Andy Creeggan: “Alternative Girlfriend” video, “Jane” video, “Be My Yoko Ono” video (Nerds rope – a very uniquely textured candy coated in nerdiness)
The Official Brothers Creeggan Website
Thanks to Duckie for the candy suggestion (even if she did think we were discussing Jim...)
Matt Damon: Brothers Grimm, Dogma (key lime pie – I didn’t think I would enjoy it and resisted trying it for several years, only to find out that it actually is good stuff)
MattDamon.com
Gareth David-Lloyd: Torchwood (Blue Bell Anniversary Cake ice cream – extremely sweet and tasty and deceptively normal-looking, but with a surprisingly different flavour)
Unofficial Gareth Davd-Lloyd Fansite
Jeff Davis: Whose Line is it Anyway? (gummy bear – I’m really not entirely sure. It just seemed to fit)
Peter Davison: Doctor Who, All Creatures Great and Small (coconut macaroon - light, fluffy, incredibly sweet, and just a little fragile)
Johnny Depp: Secret Window, Finding Neverland, Blow, From Hell, Ed Wood (marbleized caramel chocolate slice – a strong cookie base, caramel filling, primarily dark and milk chocolate topping with a touch of white, and entirely too rich to eat much of in one sitting)
JohnnyDeppfan.com
David Dixon: the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy miniseries (Bit 'O Honey - Deliciously nutty)
Cary Elwes: Princess Bride, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, The Crush, Bram Stoker's Dracula (Andes Candies - Yummy with a bit of a bite)
Cary Elwes Worship Site
Chip Esten: Whose Line is it Anyway? (white chocolate chips: in the immortal words of Duckie, “He’s white...and his name is Chip.” Truer words have ne’er been said.)
Chip Esten: Improvisational Man of Mystery
Rupert Everett: A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Importance of Being Earnest (Terry's chocolate orange - simply divine and a touch on the silly side)
Rupert Everett Images
Colin Firth: Bridget Jones' Diary, The Importance of Being Earnest, Pride and Prejudice, Love Actually (sour gummy worms - Must I truly explain? Fine - Slightly sour and off-putting at first, but soft and squishy on the inside, and they grow on you if you let them)
Colin Firth: Faces
Brendan Fraser: The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, Monkeybone, George of the Jungle, Bedazzled (Jelly Belly - so many different versions, some a bit odd, almost all marvelous)
Patrons of the Blue-Eyed Cupcake Known as Brendan Fraser
Will Friedle: Boy Meets World, My Date with the President's Daughter (Ring Pops - They were popular when I was growing up, but you don't see them too much anymore. And if they're not sugary enough to make you hyper, I don't know what is. Though it doesn't really go with the whole Ring Pop thing, I _have_ to mention the man's eyebrows. [radiates love for the eyebrows])
Andrea’s Unofficial Will Friedle Picture Page
Ryan Gosling: Remember the Titans, Young Hercules, The Notebook, Breaker High (Nerds - little sugar bombs with no nutritional value whatsoever. Plus, he is one ;^) )
The Ultimate Ryan Gosling Homepage
Ioan Gruffudd: Horatio Hornblower, 102 Dalmations, The Forsyte Saga Part 1, 2, and 3, Titanic, Great Expectations (peanut butter fudge - melt-in-your-mouth kind of yummy, and, again, it's got nutritional value. Sort of)
Ioan Gruffudd Online
Kevin Hearn: “Too Little Too Late” video, “Driftwood” video, (mini Hershey’s kisses – they’re not flashy and often get forgotten in lieu of other, more complicated candies, but they sure are sweet. Plus, they’re absolutely adorable little things [aren't you proud of me? I didn't give in to the urge to use "chocolate mousse"!])
KevinHearn.com
Frazer Hines: Doctor Who (peanut butter M&Ms - tasty little bits of creamy chocolate and peanut buttery goodness)
Eric Idle – “The Chemist Sketch,” “How Far Can a Minister Fall?”, etc (Sweet Tarts – a touch sour, but terribly addictive at the same time. And they come in a variety of flavours)
Exploiting Eric Idle
Hugh Jackman: Kate and Leopold, X-Men, The Prestige (fortune cookie – so he’s a little crunchy on the outside [wolverine comes to mind], but there’s a lot there to look forward to. ‘Course, Jackman’s one of the OLD fortune cookies that used to have the GOOD fortunes…no inane rambling here!)
Submitted by Duckie
Kevin Kline: A Fish Called Wanda, Dave, Soapdish (apple sauce - not traditionally thought of as candy, but very sweet, and I'm rather partial to it.)
Kevin Kline - as in the actor - Online
T.R. Knight: Grey’s Anatomy (sugar babies – cute, chewy little blobs of deliciousness)
Hugh Laurie: Blackadder, House, Sense and Sensibility (stripy coconut slice things – colourful, a little silly, and multifaceted; the brown is dark sarcasm, the white is sincerity, and the pink is Prince George, who is a facet unto himself)
hughlaurie.net
Heath Ledger: Brothers Grimm, A Knight’s Tale (Twizzlers – tall, thin, and extraordinarily tasty, and Hillary was munching on them when we saw Brothers Grimm)
HeathLedger.net
Thanks to Hillary for help with this entry.
Jason Lee: Dogma, My Name is Earl, Heartbreakers (candy cigarette - um... His Look in Dogma could have been completed with one? I don’t know... I’m really stretching here.)
Unofficial Jason Lee Fanpage
Robert Sean Leonard: Much Ado About Nothing, House (Toblerone – has wide spread appeal, but also enough class to pull off Shakespeare)
RobertSeanLeonard.org
Harold Lloyd: High and Dizzy, From Hand to Mouth (circus peanuts – flexible classics with absolutely no shame)
Harold Lloyd on Short Sighted
James Marsden: X-Men, X-2, The Notebook (Brach's caramel cube - tasty in a very commercial way, but classics are classics for a reason)
Mission to Marsden
Paul McGann: Horatio Hornblower: Mutiny and Retribution, The Enemy Within (vanilla - seems a little bland, perhaps, but muy delicioso, regardless)
Paul McGann Page
Dominic Monaghan: Lord of the Rings (Runts – It’s not why you think. If it was, _he_ certainly wouldn’t be the Runt... Nope. It’s because of the banana-shaped ones; he looks like a monkey in about every fourth picture I see of him)
Dominion :: a dominic monaghan fansite
Viggo Mortensen: Lord of the Rings trilogy (Fun Dip - It tastes okay without the sugar, but when it's roughed up with the sugar, it tastes even better.)
The Many Faces of Viggo Mortensen
Submitted by Kat
Cillian Murphy: Batman Begins, Red Eye (Peeps – creepy, slightly intimidating, and his eyes are the last things to leave [Peep Research])
Cillian Murphy Fan
Paul Newman: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Cool Hand Luke, Paris Blues, The Hustler, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, The Long, Hot Summer, Until They Sail, The Rack, Somebody Up There Likes Me (blue pixie stick - tall, slim, enchanting, v v v tempting, such a beautiful blue, and a classic)
Submitted by Ashley
B.J. Novak: The Office (molletas – slightly exotic and mostly substantial with a bit of sugar on top)
bjnovak.com
Dean O’Gorman: Young Hercules (butterscotch Dum-Dum – a bit silly, slightly childish, and very, very good)
Dean O’Gorman
Michael Palin – Holy Grail, the first sketch in How to Irritate People, etc (Goetz cow tails – Ingenious and very unique.)
the Michael Palin (Un)official Appreciation Page!
Guy Pearce – The Time Machine, The Count of Monte Cristo (Snickers – chocolate [physical attraction], caramel [a lovely voice], peanuts [acting ability], and nougat [um…cause he was funny on The Daily Show…?])
Guy Pearce at All Hands on Deck
Tahmoh Penikett: Battlestar Galactica, Smallville ["Resurrection"] (Coconut Chips Deluxe – a variation on a strong, dependable classic with just a hint of exoticism and an interesting texture)
All About Tahmoh Penikett
Nick Rhodes: Rio, Seven and the Ragged Tiger, Arena, Arcadia, and Medazzaland Eras (rock candy – delicate, colourful, pretty [if you make it right], and it never, ever looks the same twice. It also gets passed off as a “science experiment” sometimes, so it’s sort of science/technology-ish...thing)
The Temple of St. Nick
Thanks to Captain Chaotica!! for introducing me to Duran and for her help in writing this entry.
Michael Rosenbaum: Smallville (Milk Duds - they put me in mind of his bald head, of course. Yes, it’s a shallow sort of answer. Smallville is largely a shallow sort of show.)
Michael Rosenbaum at All Hands on Deck
William Russell/Russell Enoch: Doctor Who Seasons 1-3 (English toffee – classic, tasty, and somehow a bit classier than most modern candies)
Brad Sherwood: Whose Line is it Anyway? (Snickers Popable: Snickers seem to capture his spirit, and the popable version has a tendency to wind up on the ground)
Lesley’s Odd Little Whose Line Space: Brad Sherwood
Will Smith: Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Men in Black (Pop rocks – sugary sweet with a bit of a dangerous façade, and you never quite know when one is going to pop off [a sarcastic comment, in Smith’s case])
Will Smith at Oh, The Spectacle!
Rider Strong: Boy Meets World (fruit stripe gum - another one that has gone the way of the Ring Pop)
OURSO: Official Unofficial Rider Strong Online
Andy Taylor: Seven and the Ragged Tiger, Arena, Powerstation, Thunder, and 2005 Eras (Atomic Fireball – Fiery, bright, aggressive, and IN! YOUR! FACE!--but oddly delicious, for those who can take the heat. Some like it hot, after all...)
Beyond Thunder
Submitted by Captain Chaotica!!
John Taylor: Rio, Arena, Powerstation/Notorious, and Wedding Album Eras (fruitcake – a complex, mysterious jumble of different things, yet rich and full of substance)
Trust the Process
Submitted by Captain Chaotica!!
Roger Taylor: New Romantic, Arcadia, and Astronaut Eras (Hershey’s kiss – they may not look as elegant or as original as other kinds of candies [in fact, they’re pretty straightforward], but there’s a reason they’re such classics. Even if people don’t usually name them when listing their favourite candies, there are few who would turn one down if offered. I certainly wouldn't. In fact, I'd rather like one now, if that's alright with you...)
The Lizard King’s Duran Duran Site
Thanks to Captain Chaotica!! for introducing me to Duran and for her help in writing this entry.
David Tennant: Doctor Who, Cassanova (Mr. Goodbar - utterly delicious, more than a bit nutty, and one of my absolute favourites)
David Tennant Image Archive
Denzel Washington: Remember the Titans, Much Ado About Nothing, Glory (Ferrero Rocher - almost symetrical little balls of deliciousness with some substance in the form of hazel nut)
Denzel Washington at All Hands on Deck
Isaiah Washington is no longer allowed in the box o' candy. Bigotry makes chocolate taste really, really bad.
David Wenham: Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and Return of the King (Cadbury egg - He's yummy and very sweet and sugary and just so darn irresistible. And also very cute.)
Submitted by Ashley
Samuel West: Horatio Hornblower: The Frogs and the Lobsters, Howards End, The Ripper, Persuasion (dark chocolate - slightly bitter, and it takes a little while to get used to)
My Frogs and the Lobsters Gallery (because apparently there AREN’T any other pictures of Sam ANYWHERE...)
Elijah Wood: The Ice Storm, The Faculty, the few times during the Lord of the Rings trilogy when he wasn't squeaking (snowcaps - a childhood favourite, and Duckie and I were most likely eating them the first time we saw Huck Finn)
Always and Forever
Many thanks to my marvelous friend Ashley for helping me to find pictures (I know it was lots of excruciating work ;^) ) and for introducing me to the very tasty actors of LotR (save Wood - I've known about him for years).
Collage I spliced this together with a lot of assistance from the most marvelous PhotoShop.
