WARNING: This is a slash story, which means it contains male/male erotic content involving consenting adults. If you're not of legal age or are offended by such material, please go find something else to read.

Title: Only the Lonely
Author: Eggbert
Email: mbejane2000@yahoo.com
Summary - Remus Lupin is at Hogwarts as the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, bringing a host of bittersweet memories for him and Professor Snape. Told from Severus's POV.
Rating - NC17 for m/m slash. Graphic, so if that squicks you the 'delete' button's on your browser. Use it.
Disclaimer - They're not mine. They're JKR's. Only the plot and the need to give Remus some TLC belong to me.
A/N. This was spawned from feedback from 'First Love' and spookily enough I had already had an idea like that waiting to be written. And it doesn't take much for me to go and dodge the traffic in Inspiration Lane. For Remus, it's a case of 'if you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with'. For Severus, the fulfilment of long unrequited passion. Takes place before that scene in the Shrieking Shack.
Dedication - To Reggibar, who told me to run with it, for Treemonisha for all the nice things said and for asking for more, and for Rowena who just wanted a little more Snape action. Er, I hope this'll do.

All Saints Day. That's what Muggles called the day after Hallowe'en. Such were my thoughts as I prowled the corridors, unable to sleep; desperate for any distraction from what was becoming an obsession.

I had protested loudly when Dumbledore had announced his intention of appointing Remus Lupin to the Defence Against the Dark Arts post. Not for all the solid, practical reasons I had stated but rather out of fear at seeing the boy I had desired so much when we were both students. I steeled myself to hate him.

Yet my first sight of Lupin in fifteen years disarmed me completely. He looked so worn, tired, old before his time. Silver threads amongst what had been a glorious tumble of rich, light brown hair, impossibly slender under the shabby robes, fine lines webbing his fair skin. Lines that were caused by privation and pain, not laughter. .

I had glared at him during the start of term feast and Lupin had turned his head and smiled at me, just briefly, and I had felt my stomach disappear. His smile could still make me melt faster than a snowball in a volcano and I wanted to drown in those ageless amber-flecked eyes.

I was still utterly hooked. And I cursed myself for being a fool. We were politely distant to each other in the staffroom and at mealtimes and I tried my best to ignore the gnawing ache in the pit of my stomach every time he passed by.

When Dumbledore asked me to prepare the Wolfsbane Potion I had concurred as I so desperately wanted Lupin to retain at all times the traits that I loved; his gentleness, good humour and generosity of spirit.

My thoughts returned to him constantly. How did he feel to have his love so cruelly betrayed? Sirius Black had never struck me as evil. Opinionated, bigheaded, and too effortlessly brilliant for his own good, yes. But evil?

After Black's attempt to break into Gryffindor Tower I had watched Lupin's face as Peeves broke the good news about who had ripped the Fat Lady to shreds. Horror, disgust, and pure cold fury. And yet wasn't there also fear and longing as well? There was nothing more complicated than love.

"Severus? " a voice interrupted my musings and I turned to see Remus Lupin gazing at me, a quizzical smile on his face.

"What's wrong? Can't you sleep either? "

"No. " I replied without thinking.

"I'm having difficulty myself. I find brandy usually does the trick. Would you care to join me? "

I allowed myself to be led to Lupin's private rooms. Once inside, Remus poured two hefty snifters for us and we sat on his sofa. I sipped at the potent liquid feeling tendrils of warmth creep though me.

"Why can't you sleep? " I asked abruptly. " Worried in case Black comes after you? "

"No, not entirely. " replied Remus, frowning slightly. " Killing me would serve no 1000 purpose. Except to put me out of my misery. " he concluded bitterly.

I felt a sharp pang of...what? Dismay? Pity? Unconsciously I moved closer to the smaller man.

"I cannot begin to comprehend what you must have gone through these past twelve years. " I said quietly. He looked deep into my eyes.

"Imagine that the man you live with, the man you love beyond all reason, the man you think you know better than you know yourself turns out to be a traitor. Worse than that, he betrays those closest to him without a thought, selling them to Voldemort for his own glory. Killing all those innocent Muggles and Peter, then trying to break in here and finish the last of the Potters is the act of a dangerous, uncontrolled madman. Then imagine that the authorities decide that you must have been hand in glove with him. That you supported his treachery. Why should they take notice of the protestations of a werewolf? "

I was appalled at his bitterness, his hurt and moved closer, desperate to offer comfort to the man beside me who was dying inside. I put my arm around his shoulders feeling the tension in his small frame and he did not push me away. His expression softened.

"I wondered over the years whether I made the right choice in Sirius. Whether I was wrong to spurn you, Severus. You loved me once, didn't you? "

"I still do. " I admitted, hardly daring to breathe. Where was this going?

"It's been a long time since I've felt the touch of another human being. " he said, resting his head on my shoulder. " And I think you're just as lonely as I am, Severus. We could comfort each other. "

"Yes, we could. " I replied thickly.

"I can never fall in love with you. " he cautioned. " My kind mate for life and my heart belongs to Sirius. But we can make love, chase the demons away for tonight at least. Would you like that? " I nodded, rendered temporarily speechless by the generosity of his offer. My dearest fantasy was about to come true.

"Good. " he smiled and he slipped his arms round my neck, pulling me down for a deep sweet kiss. I gasped at the strength of his desire, pulling him onto my lap for easier access to his lips, his neck, feeling myself harden as I held him close. I fumbled with the clasps of his robe and he pulled away from me, stood up and extended his hand.

"We should be somewhere comfortable. Sofas are hell on your knees. Come to bed, Severus. "

I needed no second bidding and took his hand as he drew me towards the massive four-poster. Skilfully he undressed me and smiled.

"So pretty. " he gasped. " I can't wait to have you. "

Impatiently I pulled off his robes so he was naked before me. I couldn't control a gasp of horror as I saw his naked body for the first time.

"Oh my god, who hurt you so badly? " I demanded, unable to tear my gaze from the scars that criss-crossed his entire body.

"I did. " he replied simply. " Every full moon when I was deprived of human prey I used to bite and scratch myself. They didn't heal very well either. Have they put you off? "

I pulled him to me with a fierce growl; feeling pity and sorrow for what he must have suffered all his life fill my heart. Letting him feel how much I still wanted him.

"Obviously not. " he chuckled, drawing me down on the bed. He lay there on the emerald sheets as pale, as firmly curved and as inviting as early-morning mushrooms on a dew-drenched field.

I took the brandy glass from the bedside table and poured it all over him.

"Lie still. " I whispered before beginning to lick it off, slowly, lasciviously, encouraged by the strangled, needy noises he was making.

"Like that? " I enquired. He moaned in reply. Grinning I continued my exploration till I reached the aching, begging flesh of his cock. I ran my tongue over the taut skin feeling him shudder with pleasure. Two lubricated fingers massaged the puckered entrance to his body.

"Do you want...? " I asked.

"Yes. " he hissed. " d8e Just fucking do it. NOW! "

I flipped him over with ease, one hand round his narrow waist, pulling him to his knees. My lips caressed every hollow and ridge in his spinal column as I slowly worked my fingers in and out of him. It had been a long time; I didn't want to hurt him. He pushed back against me, whimpering. I withdrew my fingers and slicked my own weeping cock, feeding it into him an inch at a time as his back arched with pleasure.

My hand snaked down and gripped his erection, stroking him in counterpoint to my own thrusts, becoming completely inarticulate as I possessed this beautiful beast. As I climaxed I bit down hard onto his shoulder and he howled, coming long and hard into my hand. When I came back to myself, I was still inside him, one hand stroking his spattered belly. He kissed me tenderly.

"You're an animal in bed. " he whispered. " Oh, by the way, look up. "

I did and started to laugh.

"I never had you pegged as an exhibitionist, Remus. " He mock-growled and bit the tender skin of my forearm. What I was laughing at was a huge mirror attached to the ceiling that reflected everything that went on below.

"It's not mine. Lockhart must have had it installed so he could look at himself all the time."

"It's definitely got...possibilities. " I agreed. His beautiful eyes were dark with lust.

"Let me show you how beautiful you look when you come. " he whispered. " Just watch. "

I lay back and watched the mirror Lupin take my hand and begin to suck at the soft webbing of my fingers and I moaned with reawakened lust. I watched myself and him grow hard, watched our hardened sexes brush together smearing our bellies with pre-come, watched his fingers prepare me, then drape my legs gracefully over his shoulders before driving his cock into me. It was incredible. He was incredible. It was the most erotic thing I had ever seen, watching him thrust into my willing body. I felt my orgasm start from my toes up as I howled and came, cock untouched. Seconds later he followed me and I felt it every bit as much as he did.

He eased out of me and I spooned up behind him, cradling him close.

His eyes were three-quarters closed by this time but he smiled and said'

"That was the best ever. Thank you Severus. Whoever is lucky enough to fall for you is going to be the luckiest man alive. Will you stay with me tonight? "

"Tonight's over. " I replied gruffly, pointing at the soft red rays of dawn peeking through a chink in the hangings. He grinned and I felt pity flicker and go. He didn't need my pity or my disdain. Just for tonight, my love had been enough.