The hand curled tightly around his own, and he was suddenly aware of it, though he knew he'd been staring at it blindly the last few minutes. The long, thin fingers - so surprisingly strong; the blood vessels and tendons clearly visible. He was laying on his stomach, face turned to the side. He licked his lips. Then his focus waned again, the details blurred and he drifted back to a state of pure sensation.

He thought he could feel the air enter his lungs or was it the weight pressed against his back? He felt every touch, every pressure mirrored on the soles of his feet, and in the tingling of his spine. But it was nothing compared to the fire spreading around his navel, which was nothing - he felt his body contract and with it his mind allowed new realisation. He heard his name in the voice - that voice - he shivered. He thought he moaned in answer, but then was lost again.

He had long since forgotten all notion of time. Had lost the notion of anything really, but the steady rocking motion of his body. As he abandoned his analytical mind completely, he was no longer aware of where his body began and his lover's ended.

He felt himself reach far beyond what he had thought possible, spiralling further and faster towards unknown depths. Felt like the universe couldn't contain them, and cried out when the stars around him exploded. Orgasm had never been so intense, he was sure. If this moment were to be all they would have, it would still be enough. Future was an irrelevant and distant concept against the perfection of now.

Non Placet

(it does not please)

"What on earth are -you- doing here?" Snape demanded, his _expression communicating his intense displeasure.

Having just returned to his private rooms after the day's last class, he had not anticipated an interruption of what would otherwise have been a quiet evening. He removed his cloak, threw it over the back of a chair and stared at the visitor with unhidden disgust.

"Explain yourself," he ordered.

"Look, I'm sorry to impose on you in this manner, but I really need to speak with you," Lupin said, lifting a hand in a pacifying gesture, and standing up from the armchair he had been waiting in. "And I really couldn't wait outside your office." Lupin gave a weak smile.

Snape regarded him coolly. As members of the Order they had their means of communicating. If Lupin decided to forego them and come here personally, the man no doubt had his reasons. The quickest way to expedite his departure would be to listen to what he had to say.

"All right," Snape conceded, sitting down in the chair opposite Lupin.

Lupin smiled wryly at the easy resignation. Getting right to the point, he simply said, "You have to continue Harry's lessons."

Snape sighed, then said with emphasis, "I do not and will not."

Lupin had two arguments to make. Which, he wondered, would be more persuasive? Reminding the Potions Master of Dumbledore's wishes or confronting Snape with the reasons why he thought Snape was disregarding the Headmaster's request.

He chose a third approach. "Why do you refuse this?" asked Lupin.

Snape snorted and fixed his eyes on him. "I have ceased the lessons and have no intention of recommencing them. The reasons, while sound, are irrelevant," he said with tried patience. They remained silent staring at each other for a long moment, then Snape asked dismissively, "Are we done?"

"I haven't even started yet," Lupin returned irritatedly.

Snape, who had been in the process of getting up, sat back down, making a show of casually leaning back and crossing his legs. "Well," he said pleasantly, "Let's have it out then, shall we?"

Lupin felt the conversation had just gained another level, though he was uncertain what territory exactly they would be staking out. He felt edgy in consequence and angry with the other man, who was being so obstinately contrary. "I think we both know the reason and it is very relevant," said Lupin in a calm voice not betraying his feelings.

"Then do tell. I can hardly stand the suspense of not knowing my own reasoning," Snape replied dryly.

Lupin disregarded the comment. "You're angry Harry gained knowledge of your memories."

Snape raised an eyebrow in a mock gesture of being impressed.

Lupin did not let that deter him, and continued, "You're indignant at having to relive your humiliation, furious at having Harry see your weakness. Wondering how long it will take before the whole school knows."

Now Snape's lip curled in a half smile.

Not at all the reaction Lupin had been expecting. Was Snape this good at denial? "You're bitter at the past which is back to haunt you, and you think ignoring Harry will make it go away," Lupin concluded not unkindly.

Snape looked at Lupin with amusement. "And that, Lupin, is where you err," he said. "I am not bitter at the past. I'm as happy as I ever thought to achieve to be."

"Don't take your hatred for Sirius or James out on Harry just because you can't forget the past," Lupin said as if he hadn't heard.

"My contempt for Black is not based on unprocessed adolescent memories, Lupin" said Snape.

"All right, then; why?" Lupin snapped.

Snape sighed once again, then said as if lecturing an incredibly daft child, "I refuse to continue the lessons, because they are, at best, useless. Not only does Potter refuse to apply himself, but he also undermines the effort by neglecting to practice or even trying to get a better grip on his emotions. As a result he has become more unstable and susceptible to thought intrusion than before."

"What about the Pensieve?" Lupin asked, not yet willing to accept an explanation so different from what he had convinced himself must be the truth.

Now Snape's eyes gleamed dangerously - and with apparent pleasure. "Do you really think Potter could gain access to any of my memories without my consent?"

Lupin merely looked at him blankly.

"Let me ask you, how is it, do you think, Potter even knew there was a Pensieve containing memories of mine?"

Lupin's features darkened, "You tricked him! You wanted him to -"

"Oh, please! The boy has no respect for privacy."

"And so you took it upon yourself to teach him a lesson, how very thoughtful," Lupin said acridly.

"As I was sure Black was certain to reprimand Potter for his insolence, and as his disapproval will, no doubt, have more weight with Potter than anything I could say, I made sure the experience itself wouldn't be too dramatising for the boy."

"You bloody manipulative bastard!" Lupin exclaimed, even as he felt guilty at the truth of Snape's insinuation. Neither Sirius nor he himself had criticised Harry for accessing the Pensieve in the first place.

A vindicatory smile appeared on Snape's face, which made Lupin sober.

"I'm sorry," Lupin said, suddenly exhausted. "I really am."

Snape waved him off, "I don't need your apologies."

"Too little, too late?" Lupin asked, a bitter edge to his voice. Snape didn't reply, nor did his features betray what he might have been thinking.

Petitio Principii

(an assumption at the start)

"Why do you hate me so much?" asked Lupin quietly.

"Lupin," Snape replied with almost good-natured humour in his voice. "You need to rid yourself of the delusion that I harbour any such strong feelings towards you."

If Snape was surprised to find the werewolf once again waiting in an armchair in his rooms, or at the impetuous question, he didn't show it. Instead he crossed his arms, and remained where he was standing, wanting to finish this unportended conversation as quickly as possible.

"I don't believe you," said Lupin now.

"Imagine my consternation at that," replied Snape.

"So, you think I'm out of my mind, that I'm imagining the hostility?"

"Don't tempt me to comment on the state of your mind."

"I don't want a comment," Lupin said with exasperation, "I want an honest answer. Please."

Snape regarded him obdurately. "My answer was honest. I do not hate you." He paused. "I do not like you, either."

Lupin frowned, then asked, "Why are you so discouraging?"

"Why do you have this childish inclination to be approved of by everyone?" Snape shot back.

"The only risk is not risking anything at all," said Lupin with conviction.

"Nice, but I'm not a player. And furthermore, I have no wish to engage in a philosophical discussion with you."

"What about fantasies?" Lupin pressed on.

"I'm sure you know all about fantasies, but you shouldn't project."

"We're at an impasse," Lupin sighed.

"No, we're not. You're merely discovering a discrepancy between your assumptions and reality. Now, are we finished?" Snape said tersely, his patience wearing thin.

"For all practical purposes at the moment, yes," Lupin acquiesced, not knowing what else he could do.

"Lupin, try to remember, I don't care whether you understand my motivations or approve of my actions. Your input does not interest me." He paused, and then added for measure, "I hope this forestalls any inclination you might have for further discussions in the future."

"Yes, you have made yourself clear," Lupin said. "Now understand this - what I question or don't question is not up to you."

Snape smiled complacently, as if he thought Lupin's comment was quite silly. He looked pointedly at the other man for a moment, then said, "You know the way out." He turned and, going to another of his rooms, left Lupin standing there.

Sua Cuique Voluptas

(everyone has their own pleasures)

Once again, Lupin found himself back in the armchair in the Potion Master's rooms, waiting. He must have dropped off to sleep, for he awoke with a start when he heard the door slam, and expected the noise to be followed by yelling. Instead Snape stalked across the room and into his bedroom. For a few long minutes Lupin thought Snape was ignoring him, but then became convinced the other man hadn't even noticed his presence.

Lupin stared at the bedroom door, debating with himself whether he should knock upon it, when it was flung open again and Snape stood in the doorway staring back at Lupin, dumbfounded for a moment.

"You!" Snape snarled. Then caught himself and continued, "You have to cease appearing in my armchair, before it becomes an annoying habit."

"This time, I'm not here voluntarily," Lupin responded. "Are you all right?"

Snape regarded him coldly, "I will be better when you have left."

A flicker of emotion crossed the werewolf's features and then was gone. "Then I'll make it brief," he said. "There's a problem."

"Of course there is, or you wouldn't be here," Snape sneered. Simultaneously, both realised how the sentence had a potential double meaning and looked away to disavow the possibility. Snape sat down opposite Lupin and nodded to indicate he should start talking.

Lupin smiled a genuine smile, then hesitated a moment, before asking, "What caused your anger as it apparently isn't my presence?"

"This was not meant as an invitation for you to pry," Snape reprimanded at once.

Was that a smile tugging at the edge of Severus' lips, Lupin wondered. "Yes, I understood that. Don't worry. I do the prying irrespectively," he answered dryly.

Snape didn't smile, but he relaxed visibly. "Tell me why you're here this time."

Lupin almost grinned when he said, "Your character is becoming a problem."

"And I assume you'll translate that quaint observation before I have to jump to conclusions?"

Now Lupin really did grin. "There are currently some nasty rumours about you spreading around the Ministry. They call a little too much attention to you," explained Lupin.

"If the rumours are calling my expertise in potions into question," Snape winced as he said this, "Then the originator is Umbridge."

"You know about this?"

"She is spreading them here, too. It's ludicrous to think anyone will believe them, my skills are second to none."

Lupin paused, half-amazed, half-horrified at such a pompous-sounding statement. Only, then he realised, it was, indeed, a correct observation, stated without pretentiousness. He nodded. "And that's the problem. People are wondering why she would make such assertions."

"An annoying side-effect has been that it has endeared me to the rest of the faculty. Even some of the older students are beginning to reconsider their opinion of me."

"I suppose, everyone who manages to get on the bad side of Umbridge is considered a hero," Lupin smiled.

"While I find this quite intolerable, I fail to see how it is a problem. Malfoy has enough influence with the Ministry for me to retain my position. And believing me to be on their side, he should be pleased at my new popularity."

"But instead," said Lupin, "he has chosen to be suspicious about it. Especially considering that he was one of Umbridge's most vocal supporters. And added to that, we're not entirely sure where her loyalties lie."

"This is a nuisance," Snape said with disgust.

"What did you do exactly to cause this?" Lupin was curious now.

"The veritaserum she wanted didn't work as she hoped," Snape said as if the idea alone pained him.

"What did you give her?"

"A bottle of like coloured liquid with no effects whatsoever."

"How did you manage to overcome your pride long enough to do that?" Lupin quipped, then realised with horror he had probably overstepped his bounds.

Snape looked at him through narrowed eyes, "I didn't."

Lupin let out the breath he had been holding and smiled in understanding. He stood up from his seat. "The rumours will probably amount to nothing," he said. "Still we wanted you to know." Lupin straightened his robes, then looked back at Snape, "Why-"

"Save it," Snape interrupted him. "Keep the question for next time."

"That sounds like an invitation," Lupin observed.

"You're hallucinating," said Snape. "But I fear that before long another excuse will come up for you to pester me."

Reductio Ad Absurdum

(reduction to the absurd)

"I thought you might be in this mood, Severus."

Snape stared at the armchair and the werewolf sitting in it. And couldn't think of a comment to make, which irritated him even more.

"Sit down, please," said Lupin.

"I do not wish to sit," Snape hissed, and felt his reply might have sounded infantile. He proceeded to re-shelve the stack of books he was bearing, and ignored the other man conspicuously.

Lupin watched him from his position in the armchair, and waited, having to smile at this display of foul mood. After a while he spoke up, "Just to remind you, when you're ready, I'm right here."

Snape stopped and faced him. "All right. What could you possibly want this time?" he asked aggressively and still managed a sarcastic undertone.

"I saw the article about you this morning -" Lupin began, but stopped at the frightening _expression forming on Snape's face. "I thought you might want to shout at someone."

"And what made you think I need a catalyst to start shouting?" Snape demanded in a raised voice.

"It's more satisfying that way," Lupin said pleasantly.

"I can do without the satisfaction of throwing you out," retorted Snape loudly.

"Stop being so fastidious," Lupin sighed.

"Suspicious is, I think, the word you want," said Snape, still irate.

"I'm here because I am concerned," said Lupin.

Snape's only reply was a snort.

"I know what it is like to be put through this." And in his thoughts Lupin added, thanks to you.

It seemed as though the other man had picked up on it anyway, as he proceeded to comment; "And now you're here to enjoy the spectacle?"

Lupin was grieved at the sheer amount of mistrust against him. "Severus," he said softly, "I'm here as your friend." For a moment he feared he had spoken too quietly to be heard, and wondered if he dared to repeat what he hadn't really meant to admit. But when he looked up at Snape, he saw the dark eyes fixed on him.

Snape looked away again, saying, "I appreciate that you refrained from making the tired jest everyone else is incapable of exhausting."

Lupin smiled, "I may not ask if you, at last, managed to make a potion correctly?"

Snape glared at him, but at seeing the sparkle in the werewolf's eyes, his annoyance lessened. He even managed a grim smile in return.

Hinc Illae Lacrimae

(hence these tears)

"You?" Snape sighed. "But of course. Who else would have the audacity?" He continued through to his study to get rid of the parchment rolls that he was carrying, and then returned.

"I was about to leave," Lupin said.

Something in his voice made Snape pause and look at him more closely. "How long have you been sitting there?"

Lupin avoided his gaze. "Since noon, I think."

"It is after nine now."

"Is it?" Lupin shifted position in the armchair.

"It is." Snape wasn't sure what to make of this. "Did you achieve whatever it was that you needed my armchair for?"

"I needed a comfortable spot in solitude."

"Are the paintings at Headquarters getting out of hand?" Snape asked pointedly.

"Not the paintings," Lupin said and then retracted, "No, what I meant was, I wanted to be completely alone."

This made no sense, Snape himself could have entered at any time during the day. It was mere coincidence that he hadn't. Despite that, he decided to let it pass.

Obscurum Per Obscurius

(the obscure through the more obscure)

Snape heard the noise and left his study to investigate. He saw the cause of the disruption immediately and rolled his eyes. "You realise, I hope," he said, "That this is not a public habitation."

"You say that as if you minded," Lupin grinned at him.

"It hasn't occurred to you that I might?"

"It has, in fact, but I ruled it out as unlikely."

"Whatever do you base that defective conclusion on?"

"On your current smile."

"How mediocre, an ex post facto prevarication," Snape said with real amusement.

For a brief moment Lupin looked ridiculously pleased. "Well, I'll on my way then," he said.

"Not at all wanting to delay that prospect, but why are you here in the first place?"

Lupin smiled sheepishly, "To tell you the truth: I have no idea." Then added in explanation for his presence in the castle, "I had to deliver something to Minerva."

Homo Homini Lupus

(man is wolf to man)

"You again, Lupin?" Snape asked incredulously, as he closed the door behind him.

"I want to - talk, I think," said Lupin, looking as exhausted as he felt.

"I'm not going to talk about Black. I know you lost a friend, but I won't pretend that I care much one way or the other."

"Yes, I know. That's why I'm here. To -not- have to talk about him. Everyone thinks I should, but right now I'm not sure -I- care one way or the other."

"Shock, probably," said Snape, eyeing him critically.

"You can throw me out as soon as I do start talking about him," Lupin said humourlessly.

The ensuing silence was only broken when Snape finally asked, "Contemplating a topic?"

Lupin was about to answer, but closed his mouth again. At last he asked, "Do you want to play a round of chess?"

"All right. Why not?"

The board and pieces were quickly set up, and then, concentrated on the game, they felt no need for conversation. After an hour it was Lupin who spoke.

"Do you feel you still have a life apart from the Order?"

Snape took his time finishing his move before he looked up, "You're being awfully morbid."

They continued the game. When Snape had declared checkmate on Lupin, he sat back and looked at the man with a serious _expression.

"Lupin," he said, "believe me when I say I do not want to do this, but you really need to talk about Black’s death."

"No, I don't," Lupin stared back at Snape as if accusing him of betrayal. "-I'll- leave before I do that!"

"Do you think he was exceedingly reckless?"

"What a thing to suggest!"

"Perhaps self-destructive, anything to escape confinement? Are you partly relieved?"

"He is -- was my friend!" Lupin exclaimed with great indignation and a hint of panic in his voice.

It was clear he wasn't anywhere near to being receptive to an analytical approach, and Snape was in no mood to accommodate anything else. "Come back tomorrow, if you like," he said, going to his study as was his habit, when he wanted Lupin to leave.

Pace Tua

(with your consent)

Lupin knocked on the study door, and without awaiting an answer pushed it open.

"I want a return game," was all that he said.

Unsurprised, Snape replaced the stopper on the phial he was holding, put it back down onto the table, and walked past Lupin into the other room. With his hand he indicated the waiting chessboard and took his seat.

After the game, Lupin, once again defeated, picked up his king and toyed with it.

To have something to occupy himself with, Snape brewed a pot of tea.

"The questions; I don't want think about them yet," Lupin said later, when he set down his empty teacup. "At this point I'm unable to deal with the consequences of the possible answers."

"You choose repression?"

"I choose self-preservation. I'm not strong enough to face the bleakness of reality," Lupin said, then added feebly for humour he didn't feel, "So I live in this little fantasy."

"I think you're wrong."

Lupin blinked, "Excuse me?"

"Wrong about the bleakness of reality," Snape shook his head. "And your lack of strength."

"Oh, thank you, for depreciating my self-assessment – that really makes me feel better," Lupin retorted sharply.

"You might be enjoying your self-pity, but reality is hardly as deficient as you contrive it to be."

"How presumptuous of you!"

"Not at all," Snape replied, with a gesture of his hand, indicating to the space between them. "This is real too, is it not?"

Terra Firma

(solid ground)

He entered the house and went to the kitchen. Here he received an answer and suspicious looks to his question of Lupin's whereabouts. He found the werewolf in an upstairs room.

"You?" Lupin exclaimed with utter surprise.

"I am glad that, for once, I am not the one voicing this incredibly superfluous observation," Snape commented, closing the door behind him.

"Has something happened?" Lupin asked suddenly alert.

"If you are referring to the usual business, then no."

"This has nothing to do with the Order?" Lupin asked, wanting to be sure.

"Nothing at all beyond the circumstantial."

"All right." Lupin was at a loss of what to do or say next, so he waited.

"Do you remember what you said about taking risks?"

"Yes, I think so," Lupin replied slowly, wondering if he should be able to draw a connection.

Snape held Lupin's gaze, "I think it is time to take one."

"I don't understand...."

"I will rephrase," said Snape. "I think it is time for me to take one, and it is up to you to effect the immediate outcome."

Lupin frowned, "Is this some notion of forcing me to confront reality?"

"It is unavoidable, but my primary concern is far more egotistical."

Lupin threw his hands up in the air, suddenly impatient. "Just – just get to the point," he snapped.

Snape raised an eyebrow in silent reproach.

More calmly Lupin suggested, "Let's sit down." He proceeded to the chairs standing around a table, and only then noticed that the other man made no motion to follow him.

Lupin stopped and turned back towards Snape. The snippy comment Lupin had wanted to make, was replaced with a quizzical _expression, when he caught Snape's eyes. Involuntarily he shivered.

Snape lifted a hand in inviting gesture.

Lapsus Linguae

(slip of the tongue)

Remus accepted. He stepped close and was enfolded into a strong embrace. Remus closed his eyes and felt dizzy. He breathed in the foreign scent and felt safe, adventurous, and joyous – all at once.

When he opened his eyes again, Severus was looking at him wistfully. Remus was thrilled. He buried his hands in Severus' hair and moved their faces closer. With the tip of his tongue he delicately grazed the other man's cheeks, then lips. Teasing and tasting.

Severus' eyes were shinning and he smiled, but other than that he made no move to hasten Remus' prelude.

Remus introduced his teeth into the game, gently nipping skin and lips. He was so intent on his actions that he hadn't noticed Severus working his hands under his robes, and only now became aware of the hands on his skin. In the end, it was Remus who couldn't endure the tantalisation a moment longer.

With parted lips he sought Severus' mouth, pressed their lips together and initiated the dance of their tongues, before he let himself be led further along the edge. As if they held a creature in their mouths between them; the beat of its wings the beat of their tongues.

Sic Itur Ad Astra

(such is the way to the stars)

The hand curled tightly around his own, and he was suddenly aware of it, though he knew he'd been staring at it blindly the last few minutes. The long, thin fingers - so surprisingly strong; the blood vessels and tendons clearly visible. He was laying on his stomach, face turned to the side. He licked his lips. Then his focus waned again, the details blurred and he drifted back to a state of pure sensation.

He thought he could feel the air enter his lungs or was it the weight pressed against his back? He felt every touch, every pressure mirrored on the soles of his feet, and in the tingling of his spine. But it was nothing compared to the fire spreading around his navel, which was nothing - he felt his body contract and with it his mind allowed new realisation. He heard his name in the voice - that voice - he shivered. He thought he moaned in answer, but then was lost again.

He had long since forgotten all notion of time. Had lost the notion of anything really, but the steady rocking motion of his body. As he abandoned his analytical mind completely, he was no longer aware of where his body began and his lover's ended.

He felt himself reach far beyond what he had thought possible, spiralling further and faster towards unknown depths. Felt like the universe couldn't contain them, and cried out when the stars around him exploded. Orgasm had never been so intense, he was sure. If this moment were to be all they would have, it would still be enough. Future was an irrelevant and distant concept against the perfection of now.

End