WARNING: This is a slash story, which means it contains male/male erotic content involving consenting adults. If you're not of legal age or are offended by such material, please go find something else to read.
Title: Night Visitor
Author: Black Bludger
E-Mail: blackbludger@yahoo.com
Rating: NC-17
Category: Drama-Angst, Romance, Humor
Summary: Snape visits Lupin repeatedly during the late hours of the night.
Notes: This turned out to be more of a romance than I had planned, but it seems to work.
Disclaimer: Of course they’re not mine, why do you ask? ;)
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Remus Lupin could hardly believe his ears. Retiring? McGonagall?"
“Yes,” Professor Flitwick replied, “Apparently she’s wanted to leave for some time now, and was just waiting for things to return to normal after the final Death Eater trials.”
Remus shoved his hands into the pockets of his robe as he and the other teacher continued toward the lake. The winter ice had only just melted, and they were hoping to catch a glimpse of the giant squid as a sign that spring was indeed on the way. Remus was just happy to be outside for a change after the long winter. The reminder that the last of the Death Eaters had been sent to Azkaban after Voldemort’s demise added to his cheerful mood.
“Where will she go?” Remus asked.
“I believe she has plans to move in with her two older
sisters who live just outside of
“Sounds like a real party house,” Remus laughed.
Flitwick only smiled as they approached the edge of the lake where patches of ice still clung to the marshy bank. “The real question, in my opinion, is ‘Who’s going to take over as the head of Gryffindor?’,” he added, looking down at his feet as he walked quickly to keep up with Remus’ steps.
Remus suddenly stopped. “Who’s going to take over as Deputy Headmaster?”
Flitwick frowned slightly. “Well, it hasn’t been announced yet, so I don’t know if I should say anything yet…”
>“Come on Filius! You know you can trust me to keep a secret!” Remus said good-naturedly. He knew that the position wouldn’t be his since he had only resumed his post as Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor two years earlier.
Flitwick hesitated. Finally he looked away from Remus and stared out over the lake. “Snape. It’s going to be Snape.”
“What!” Remus shouted in surprise. “He has the social skills of a troll! What could Dumbledore be thinking?”
The smaller man smiled. “I was afraid you would object. That’s why I didn’t want to be the one to tell you!”
Remus sat down roughly on a rocky outcrop. “I just care about Hogwarts, that’s all. Snape and I have had our differences in the past, but we’ve set them aside in a professional manner.” He pressed the heel of his left boot down into the damp ground. “I guess it’s just a little upsetting to see an era coming to an end. I mean, how many years can Dumbledore have left?” He glanced sideways at the other professor, hoping his initial reaction had been forgotten.
Flitwick sat down beside the younger man and stared at him for a moment before picking up a rock and examining it closely. “Snape will make a fine Deputy Headmaster, especially since that position primarily handles discipline problems.”
Remus also picked up a rock and flung it angrily at the lake, making it skip a good five or six times before it disappeared beneath the murky surface. “Snape,” he mumbled.
“Oh look! The giant squid!” Flitwick exclaimed.
Remus merely smirked as he watched two huge tentacles reach out of the water, thrash about in the cool air, then slip quietly back into their aquatic lair. He felt as though they were taking his good mood down with them.
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Later that evening, the entire school knew of McGonagall’s impending departure. After the announcement at dinner, Remus had to walk around clusters of crying girls comforting one another in the hallways. The Gryffindor boys all seemed subdued as well. In fact, the only smiles he saw were on the faces of Slytherins who were whispering to each other and smirking at the other students.
Remus was glad when he finally made it to his favorite quiet spot – a balcony facing to the west where he took in the sunset as often as possible. He knew that the sun was gone, but he needed to get out of the castle.
The cold fresh air soothed him slightly as he made his way through the unmarked wooden door. Resting his elbows on the stone wall surrounding the balcony, he looked up at the starry sky and waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. The moon was almost full, and he stared at it triumphantly. It was almost two years to the day since he had made his last transformation into a werewolf.
As he picked out his favorite constellations, he gradually became aware of the sensation that he was being watched. Turning his head slightly to the right, he was able to distinguish the shape of another man leaning against the wall beside the door. The black cloak helped him to blend into the night.
“Good evening, Lupin,” a deep voice said.
“Snape.” It was more a statement of annoyance than a greeting. “I didn’t see you there.”
“Obviously.”
Lupin turned back toward the wall and tried to act relaxed. His private space had been invaded by the person he least wanted to see. “Congratulations on your promotion,” he finally managed to say.
“It’s not a promotion,” Snape replied. “It’s a change -- one that I didn’t want.”
After a prolonged silence, Remus began to wonder which of them would give in first and relinquish the balcony to the other. He was surprised when Snape started speaking again.
“I assume that the modified Wolfsbane is still working correctly, since no one in the castle has been mauled.”
Remus ground his teeth together. He hated that the monthly potion required to keep his “condition” in check could only be produced by this man. The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures had developed a formulation of Wolfsbane that diminished his lycanthropic change so significantly that he was often the only person who noticed any difference. He could live with a little more body hair and slightly longer canine teeth once a month, and so could the governors of Hogwarts and the students’ parents.
“Yes, the potion is working fine,” he finally said. “Thank you,” Remus managed to add, clenching his hands into fists.
Snape didn’t respond. Remus finally turned to the door and had grasped the cold metal handle when the taller wizard spoke again.
“Dumbledore wanted me to speak to you about quarters.”
Remus stopped, confused as to what Snape was talking about.
Snape continued, “I shall be moving into McGonagall’s old quarters, and mine will be vacant. Would you like an upgrade in chambers?”
Remus tried to make out Snape’s barely visible face. The outline of his sharp features was all Remus could see now that the last of the sunset’s glow had vanished. The only thing more bothersome than having to talk with the potion master, he decided, was having to talk to him without the benefit of being able to see his expression. Remus had the eerie feeling that Snape could see him clearly, but he knew that this wasn’t so.
“If you don’t want them, I’m sure Professor Bellproof will,” Snape added.
Remus thought about his own cramped quarters near the noisy fifth floor corridor. He wanted to think about the offer, but he knew that Snape wouldn’t wait for an answer.
“Alright. When can I move?”
“Patience, Lupin,” Snape practically hissed. “I’ll be out of them soon enough.”
Remus was through the door almost before Snape had finished.
For years, Remus had felt a great deal of guilt about having nearly killed Snape during their time at Hogwarts. Even though he hadn’t been in on the prank that led the other boy into his lair while he was in werewolf form, Remus knew that Snape had joined the Death Eaters very shortly after the traumatic event. But as he had aged, he had realized that everyone makes mistakes during their youth, and that life goes on.
Unfortunately, Snape didn’t seem to have reached that conclusion – about others, or about himself. The potions master seemed hell-bent on making Remus feel inferior in all respects, from his dependence on the modified Wolfsbane to his lack of money and background. Now that Snape was becoming Deputy Headmaster, Remus wondered if his position as Defense Against the Dark Arts professor would become yet another arena for Snape to practice his malice.
“At least I’ll have a more comfortable place to live,” he reasoned as he opened the door to his quarters, “unless Snape can find a way to ruin that as well.”
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A month later, Remus was in a much better state of mind. Spring was in full bloom, the weather was quite pleasant, and he was comfortably settled in his new chambers. There was no trace of the previous occupant, he noted proudly, as he walked through the rooms. Bright paintings hung on every wall, and new rugs covered almost every inch of the cold dungeon floor. Candle holders were mounted everywhere, lighting places that had been dark for many years.
Remus had already passed two weeks in the chambers and had grown to appreciate the quiet of the subterranean rooms. He felt like he was home for the first time since his stay in the castle as a student.
Snape was presumably situated in his own new quarters, McGonagall having left soon after the announcement of her retirement. The only matter still up in the air was that of the leadership of Gryffindor. There seemed to be some debate on the matter between Dumbledore and Snape. Remus chuckled to himself at the thought of the Headmaster and the new Deputy Headmaster having their first dispute. He couldn’t think of two more stubborn men in the world, with the exception of Sirius and Harry who were spending their time traveling in Europe now that they were no longer in any danger from Voldemort.
It was very late when Remus finally made his way to bed. He had just extinguished the fire and begun to drift off when a strange noise caused him to jump in his sleep. Climbing silently out of the large four-poster, he made his way to the sitting room where the noise was originating.
He realized with some shock that someone or something was fumbling at the lock and handle on the other side of the door. Remus couldn’t fathom why anyone would be making such an inept attempt to break into his quarters. The intruder wasn’t even trying to be quiet. Remus grasped his wand firmly in one hand and flung the door open with the other.
He was shocked to see Snape standing in the corridor wearing only his night clothes. The blank and confused look on his face told Remus that something was terribly wrong.
“What’s the matter, Snape?” he asked brusquely.
To his further surprise, the taller man didn’t answer, but rather stumbled into the room and made his way to the bedchamber. Remus’ heart pounded as he tried to imagine the cause of Snape’s behavior. Even during the worst moments in the war against Voldemort he had never seen the other man at a loss for words.
Remus cautiously made his way to the bedroom, trying to decide the best way to ask Snape about his late-night visit. When he entered the room, he opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again quickly as he realized that the man was nowhere to be seen.
Then Remus made out Snape’s form sprawled across the middle of his bed. When he finally approached, the potion master began snoring loudly.
Remus closed his eyes tightly and placed his hand over them in frustration. “Wonderful,” he said. “I should have guessed that Snape is capable of annoying others even when he’s asleep.”
After a moment of consideration, Remus decided to let the other wizard sleep rather than try to wake him, explain the situation, and get him to leave without sparking an argument. He pulled a blanket and pillow from the bed and curled up on the settee on the other side of the room. “It’s only for one night,” he reminded himself as he tossed and turned, trying unsuccessfully to get comfortable.
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Several hours and many restless dreams later, Remus felt as though he had only slept for a few minutes. He waved his wand at the bedside clock which was charmed to wake him for class, disabling it before it could sound. Then he flopped back into the settee and placed the pillow over his head. A rustling sound erased all of his hopes for catching a few more moments of rest.
He removed the pillow and looked warily at the bed. The black lump in the middle of the mattress began to shift and turn slightly. After a loud yawn, Snape sat up slowly and stretched his arms high into the air, never bothering to open his eyes. Remus smiled as he anticipated the potion master’s impending confusion and embarrassment. The fact that the front of Snape’s black gown was unlaced almost down to his navel and that his thick black hair was twisted into something resembling an unkempt bird’s nest was just icing on the cake.
Gradually, Snape opened his eyes and squinted in the candlelight. After a few seconds, he fixed his gaze on Remus.
“Lupin! What are you doing in my quarters?” The disheveled man pulled the sheets up over his bare legs and glared furiously at other man.
Remus was laughing so hard that tears were beginning to form at the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t have responded if he had wanted to.
Snape’s eyes widened slightly. Then he glanced nervously around the room, turning his head quickly from side to side as he clutched the covers desperately. Remus howled.
“What is the meaning of this?” Snape snapped. “I suppose this is your idea of a joke?” He began frantically fumbling with the laces on his nightshirt.
Remus sat up, crossed his legs, and propped his chin up with his hand, enjoying the entertainment thoroughly. He noticed how Snape’s white chest contrasted with the black silk and the soft line of black hair that led down below his waist. The view was surprisingly attractive, but short-lived. Remus suddenly wondered if the other professor was wearing any underwear, but an indignant grunt interrupted his thoughts.
Snape was groping around the bed, apparently searching for something.
“What’s the matter, Snape?” Remus asked, trying to stifle his laughter.
“What have you done with my wand, you idiot?”
“I haven’t done anything with your wand. And you shouldn’t be calling me an idiot. You should be thanking me,” Remus said, grinning cruelly.
“Whatever for?” Snape sneered.
“For allowing you the use of my bed after you barged in here last night in your sleep.”
Snape hesitated, considering Remus’ statement. “I’ll have you know that I don’t sleepwalk. Now hand over my wand!”
“For the last time, I don’t have your wand!” Remus said, beginning to loose his patience. “And if you didn’t sleepwalk, then perhaps you’d like to explain how you ended up here!”
“I should think that explaining is your job, since you obviously planned this practical joke as a way to humiliate me.” Snape had now moved between the bed and the settee, and was shaking his index finger in Remus’ face. Remus glanced down at the Deputy Headmaster’s bare calves and feet and burst out laughing again.
Snape grabbed him by the collar of his nightshirt and growled, showing his teeth. Remus closed his hand over the larger man’s wrist as his amusement tapered off to an occasional snicker. Snape continued to glare into his brown eyes before he finally released his grip, shoving Remus back slightly in the process.
“Why would I want you in my bed?” Remus asked, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
Snape squinted. “Why, indeed?” he snarled.
Remus pulled out his wand and pointed it at Snape. Snape lunged forward and grabbed it out of his hand before he could speak the words of a spell.
“I was just going to transfigure your nightshirt into something more presentable,” Remus said, amazed at the sudden fear that had filled the other man’s face. “You can’t walk back to your quarters dressed like that!”
Snape studied him intensely for a moment, and then finally handed the wand back. Remus muttered a few words, and instantly the black gown transformed into something that resembled Snape’s usual attire, only it was about ten sizes too small. The cloth gaped open around the buttons on the chest and the sleeves stopped short just below his elbows. His legs were still bare from the knee down. After examining his new predicament, Snape’s head snapped up and he shot a look of pure hatred at Remus.
“Look, it’s the best I can do,” Remus giggled as he held his sides and rolled on the couch. “There wasn’t much material to work with in the first place.”
Snape stormed from the room, walking awkwardly in the extremely tight pants. Remus hooted and called after him, “Look for your wand wherever you put it before you went to bed last night! I’ll be expecting your full apology in writing…if you can move your arm, that is!” He was still laughing and gasping for breath when the door leading out of his chambers slammed shut.
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Three days passed and other than a slight increase in the intensity of Snape’s lurid glares and biting remarks, Remus’ life continued normally. He had been half-afraid that the potions master would refuse to make the wolfsbane in time for the full moon which arrived only two nights after the sleepwalking incident. Remus hoped that Snape had finally realized that he hadn’t been the butt of any practical joke when the potion was not only offered, but worked as well as ever, much to the werewolf’s relief.
After dinner, when Remus stuck his head into Snape’s office and muttered a word of thanks, the other professor nodded curtly without bothering to look up. It was then that Remus realized that for once, Snape didn’t completely have the upper hand in their “relationship”. He began to wonder if the man who sat working feverishly at his desk had been afraid that Remus would tell others about the night visit. Of course he hadn’t.
Snape finally set his quill down and looked up impatiently. “Is there something else you needed, Lupin?” he asked, frowning.
Remus had never considered Snape to be a vulnerable person – not once in the entire time he had known him. But while staring into his black eyes, Remus briefly had the impression that the firmly clenched jaw and knitted eyebrows was simply a mask. In a flash of revelation, the former marauder saw beneath the disguise into the soul of a lonely and tired man.
Snape cleared his throat, interrupting Remus’ thoughts. “If there is nothing else,” he growled, “I have a lot of work to do tonight, so feel free to continue your catatonic trance elsewhere.” Remus turned to leave, wondering if he would ever be able to see Snape the same way again.
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Some time during that night, the Dark Arts professor was awakened again by a tapping noise at his door. He stumbled to the entrance, and wasn’t much surprised to find Snape standing on the other side. This time he was fully clothed and had his wand out.
“Why have you changed the password?” he asked, a look of confusion flooding his face before the glazed expression returned.
Remus gave him a wide berth as he entered the room, still waving his wand and mumbling. Once again, Snape headed for the bed chamber. Remus assumed that the other man had fallen asleep at his desk since there were smudges of ink on his cheek and nose.
He sighed and ran his fingers through his shoulder-length brown hair before following the potions master to his bed. Seeing Snape sprawled out on the four-poster, he grabbed his blanket and pillow and headed for the settee.
He was settling in for the night when Snape stirred and sat up suddenly. He stared at the wall just to the left of Remus. “You should have done it. That’s what I was thinking.”
Remus looked at the wall and then back to Snape, trying to decide if or how he should answer. “I should have done what?” he asked quietly.
“Killed me when you had the chance.”
“What are you going on about?” Remus asked.
“The trials were so long, and I didn’t know that Dumbledore was making arrangements to keep me out of Azkaban.”
Remus thought back to the first set of Death Eater hearings, and vaguely remembered feeling uncomfortable because Snape had stared at him throughout much of the testimony.
Snape continued, turning his eyes until they were looking directly at Remus. “I wished and wished and wished and wished that you had ripped my throat out when Sirius played that prank on me. I hated what I had done and what I was doing and what I was about to have to do.”
Remus noticed that the other man’s eyes were glistening strangely in the firelight. He was beginning to wonder if Snape wasn’t actually awake when the potion master silently lay down again, closed his eyes and instantly began breathing the deep breath of sleep.
Moving slowly, Remus walked to the side of the bed, removed Snape’s shoes, and pulled the blanket up over him. He stood watching a vein gently pulse in the other man’s neck and considered his words before he brushed a lock of hair out of Snape’s face and moved back to the settee for the night. The recent round of Death Eater trials had taken more of a toll on the other professor than he would have guessed.
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Early the next morning, Remus woke up to find Snape sitting on the edge of the bed and quietly putting his shoes on. The potions professor was clearly exhausted and didn’t bother trying to raise an argument as he had before. He glanced at Remus and sighed, seemingly resigned to the embarrassment his sleepwalking was obviously causing him.
“I’m sorry for the interruption,” he said. “I warded my new quarters so that I couldn’t leave them in my sleep, but I didn’t count on falling asleep in my office.”
“So you have had trouble with sleepwalking before,” Remus said softly, trying not to rile Snape, who was more subdued than he had ever seen him.
Snape stared at him suspiciously for a minute before he dropped his eyes. “Yes. Whenever I’m under a lot of stress. The Slytherins used to tease me mercilessly when I was a student. Apparently I entertained them every time exams came around.”
Remus smiled. “Look, it’s Saturday, and you’ve only had a couple hours of sleep. I don’t care if you want to rest a while longer.” Remus fluffed his own pillow and flopped back down on it, closing his eyes in the hopes of catching a few more winks.
It was a moment before Snape answered. “Thank you, but I really must get back to the lab. I have a potion that needs attention.”
“Suit yourself,” Remus mumbled, as he drifted off again.
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When Snape arrived at his door again that night, Remus was surprised. Once again, the potion master was in his nightshirt.
“I thought you warded your door,” he said to Snape’s back as he followed him to the bedroom. Remus didn’t expect a reply.
“I failed that one.”
“What one?” Remus asked, confused.
“I was always terrible at wards and I failed the exam. Did you know I have a sister?”
Remus laughed at Snape’s disjointed conversation. He was really getting tired of having his sleep interrupted, but at least it was entertaining. And informative.
He had spent the better part of the day trying to decide if he should tell Snape about their conversation the night before. Remus felt slightly guilty that the other man had confided in him yet had no idea that he had done so. He didn’t know if Snape even knew that he talked in his sleep in addition to walking. He had finally decided that the Deputy Headmaster would probably rather not know that he had shared something so personal with someone he disliked so much, especially since it had only happened the one time.
But now Remus was faced with an ethical dilemma. What if Snape spilled his guts every night? How could he not confront the man then? Should he leave the room and refuse to listen? Remus hoped that Snape’s stress level would drop off soon, putting an end to the visits entirely.
When he reached the room, Snape was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at his hands which were folded in his lap. Remus waited a few moments, hoping the potions master would simply lie down and go to sleep, but he wasn’t so fortunate.
“It’s no wonder,” Snape said, frowning fiercely.
Remus sighed. “Look, Severus…it’s late and we’re both tired. Why don’t we just…”
“Of course everyone hates me. I killed Lily and James.”
Remus froze. “What are you talking about? Voldemort killed Lily and James. Peter tipped him off. Everyone knows that you didn’t kill anyone – that was the only reason Dumbledore was able to keep you out of Azkaban.”
To Remus’ amazement, Snape closed his eyes and two large tears trailed down his cheeks. “But I knew where Voldemort was going that night, and I could have stopped him.”
“But you didn’t actually harm them.”
“Didn’t I?” Snape looked up at Remus, his eyes glazed from sleep. “And James had even saved my life.”
Remus sat down beside him.
“James thought he was so perfect. He had the perfect parents, the perfect wife, the perfect child, the perfect friends…” Snape looked back at his hands. “I was so jealous. I could never be like him because I was…different.”
Remus didn’t know what to say, or even if Snape would really benefit from his words while he was asleep anyhow. He put his arm around the other man’s sagging shoulders. “I never really hated Harry. It just hurt to be around him because he reminded me of what I had done.”
“We all made mistakes, Severus,” Remus finally managed to say. “It’s all over now.”
“Not for me, it isn’t,” Snape whispered. He turned and placed his forehead on Remus’ shoulder. Remus stiffened before forcing himself to relax and embrace the taller man. Snape shook slightly as he sobbed silently, his face displaying a degree of anguish that Remus had never seen in another person.
He held Snape for a long while, letting him vent his pain. After nearly ten minutes, the potion master finally let out a long sigh, leaned over onto the bed, and lapsed back into deep sleep. Remus watched as he breathed slowly, his face flushed from tears and his lips parted slightly. He had forgotten how beautiful Snape had been as a younger man. Remus could remember the few times that he had seen him smile, and his alabaster features had seemed to glow within the frame of silky black hair. The beauty was still there, he realized, it had just been buried beneath years of pain and weariness.
Remus grabbed Snape’s legs and lifted them up onto the bed. Snape groaned and rolled over onto his back so that he was stretched out over the mattress, as usual. Remus looked over at the settee and rubbed the ache in his side. He couldn’t bear the thought of spending another night on the makeshift bed, but it looked as if he had no choice.
When he leaned over Snape to grab his pillow, Remus felt two warm hands reach up and lace themselves behind his neck before pulling him down on his stomach beside the other professor. He was pinned beside the sleeping man who gradually began nuzzling at his ear with his lips and nose. Without thinking, Remus turned his face toward Snape in an attempt to object, and suddenly found a wet tongue pressing its way between his lips and exploring his mouth.
Snape groaned again and moved his lower body in closer to Remus’ thigh, thrusting gently against the trapped man. Remus closed his eyes and pushed himself back slowly, turning on his side and breaking the kiss almost reluctantly. The late hour coupled with the fact that he hadn’t been with another man in over two years made his mind swirl with intoxicating arousal.
Snape sighed in his sleep and pulled Remus into his arms, holding him as though he were a giant teddy bear, and lay completely still. Remus took a deep breath and considered the situation. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Snape and explain to him what had just happened. The mattress was so comfortable and he was so tired. He looked at the sleeping man whose face was just inches from his own. Severus was so beautiful…he drifted off, telling himself that he absolutely had to leave the bed before Snape woke up.
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When his clock sounded the next morning, Remus found himself lying dangerously close to the edge of the mattress, facing away from Snape. He grimaced when the other man coughed, realizing that there was no way he could escape from the bed before Snape could see that they had slept together.
He turned slowly to see the potion master just sitting up and opening his eyes. He immediately fixed his gaze on Remus and sat there frozen as though not entirely sure how to proceed.
“No, not again...” he mumbled. “What did I…how…” Remus had never seen Snape look so confused and upset.
“Look, Sever…Snape,” he said, “The bed is quite large enough for two fully-clothed men.” Remus thought that his own voice sounded small and unsure of itself. He wasn’t even certain of what he had just said – the words had just come out by themselves.
Snape merely nodded, looking down at his nightshirt. “I’m sorry about this, Lupin. I’m sure I can find a way to put an end to these intrusions.”
Remus sat up and rubbed the back of his own neck. “There is something more important that I need to discuss with you right now, Snape.” He knew that he had to tell the other professor about his late-night conversations.
Snape’s eyes quickly widened. “I didn’t…I mean, we didn’t…” he blurted out.
Remus felt his face color slightly, “No, nothing like that happened at all,” he lied, feeling it best to spare Snape some dignity.
Snape relaxed somewhat, his gaze still fixed upon Remus.
“It’s just that you’ve been…talking in your sleep, and I think you have a right to know what you’ve been telling me,” Remus said.
Snape squinted slightly and then snorted. “You don’t mean to tell me that you actually believed the words of a sleepwalker. People say all kinds of things when they are asleep. It never means anything.” He sneered at Remus as his voice assumed its usual timbre.
Remus noticed that he was looking at the mask once again. “But Snape…Severus…I think you should…”
“I don’t have time to listen to your ‘concerns’ this morning. I have more pressing business to attend to.” He climbed out of bed and headed for the door, not bothering to ask Remus to transfigure his nightclothes. “You can rest assured that I will do my best to prevent this from happening again.”
Remus heard the door close behind Snape before he could say anything else. “Well, at least I tried,” he told himself. “It’s not my fault if he won’t listen.”
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The next two nights passed without a visit from Snape, and although he appreciated getting a full night’s sleep, Remus was surprised to find himself a little disappointed. He felt like he was just beginning to get to know the other man for the first time, and he wished that he could have an open conversation with the person behind the mask during daylight hours.
Snape didn’t even spare Remus a glance during meals, which was just about the only time they saw each other. Even when they passed in the hallway a couple of times, Snape merely nodded when Remus offered a greeting.
The werewolf was beginning to think that the short-lived
opportunity he had had to speak to the real Snape was gone forever when he
heard the familiar sounds at his door around
He made his way to the entrance, opened the door, and watched smiling as Snape stumbled to the bed. When Remus reached the bedchamber and found Snape standing at the wall on the other side of the bed, facing the grey stones, he laughed and climbed back under the blankets.
“Are you going to stand there all night?” he asked after a couple of minutes.
Snape didn’t respond.
“Fine. I’m going to sleep.”
Remus dozed off quickly, only to be awakened again as he felt a weight depressing the other side of the bed. “Good, I was afraid you were going to stand there like that all night,” he chuckled.
The next thing he knew, Snape had pulled the blanket back and climbed on top of him, pressing their lips together roughly. He felt the potion masters hand pulling up his blue nightshirt and working up toward his inner thigh. Remus was terribly aroused, but he managed to overcome his desire and pull the other man’s hand away.
“For God’s sake, Severus,” he said, gasping for breath. “You’re asleep. You don’t even know what you’re doing or with whom you’re doing it!” He looked into the glazed black eyes and wanted more than anything for the other man to resume his attempt at lovemaking.
Remus felt his erection brush against Severus as the other man slipped off of him and lay at his side, wrapping his arms around Remus and running his tongue around the rim of his ear. “Remus,” he whispered. The Dark Arts professor felt his cock begin to leak. He turned his head and kissed Severus, letting his tongue circle the wet lips and pass into the warm mouth. He felt the fingers working their way up his leg again, and he reached down to pull his gown up to allow them better access.
Severus was just pulling at the waistband of his underwear when Remus came to his senses. He rolled away, and backed quickly out of the bed, steadying himself by clutching desperately at one of the posts.
“No…we can’t…it’s not right,” he said, more to himself than to Snape.
Snape blinked back at him. Then he groaned and reached down to the hardness beneath the black nightshirt. He lay still for a moment, staring at Remus and breathing heavily through flared nostrils. Then his eyes closed slowly and remained shut.
Remus ran his hand through his hair. He made his way to the bathroom and turned on the cold tap in the bath. He eased himself gingerly beneath the faucet and let the icy water run over his legs and cock, frantically hoping that the ensuing torture would help him resist any further attention Snape might offer him during the night.
After he had dried himself off, Remus pulled on his nightshirt again and walked back to the bedroom, intending to sleep on the settee just to be safe. But Snape was sitting up in the bed with his back against the headboard.
“I’m sure you would do a great job,” he said.
Remus was tempted to just ignore him and go on to sleep. But he felt like the other man deserved his attention, even if he was asleep. “A great job doing what?” he asked warily.
“Being head of Gryffindor,” Snape answered.
Remus sat down next to the other professor. He was so exhausted that Snape could have been talking about eating dragons, and he wouldn’t have felt any more interested. “But I’m not head of Gryffindor,” he yawned.
“No. That’s my fault.”
“What are you rambling on about now?”
“Dumbledore wants you to take over from McGonagall, but I didn’t want you to have the position.”
Suddenly, Remus was wide awake. “Why on earth not?”
“Because I despise you. Despised, I mean,” Snape corrected himself. “I didn’t want you to have the satisfaction of getting the promotion.”
“Thanks a lot!” Remus said.
“But now you’ve been really nice to me…about all of that sleepwalking business and everything,” Snape continued. “I was certain that you would tell everyone, but you haven’t. I know I can be difficult to get along with, and you’ve been so kind.”
“So why don’t you tell Dumbledore that you’ve changed your mind about Gryffindor?”
“Because I’m a complete bastard and I don’t want to back down on the issue. I guess it’s a matter of pride.” Snape sighed and slumped down on the mattress, curling up beside Remus. “I hate how I can’t ever admit that I was wrong.”
Remus looked at Snape and smiled. “Can I get this confession in writing?” he whispered to the sleeping man.
The position of head of Gryffindor was nothing compared to the words he had just been privileged to hear. He slid between the sheets and turned his back to Snape who was snoring softly. He didn’t mind when the taller man wrapped his arms around him and snuggled up closely behind.
They both slept soundly until about an hour before Remus needed to wake up for his first class. The Dark Arts professor heard a low moan and woke up so disoriented that it took him a moment to realize that he was the one making the sound. He couldn’t understand why he had made the noise until he felt fingers wrapping around his bare prick and squeezing again.
Snape was still at his back with his arm around his waist. Somehow Remus’ shorts had been pushed down until they were wrapped around his right ankle. He tried to resist the delicious pressure on his cock, but when Snape began running his closed fist up and down its length, Remus surrendered.
He moaned again as Snape passed his thumb over the wet tip before returning it slowly to the base where his fingers brushed lightly over his balls. The potion master repeated the motion over and over again. Remus felt lightheaded as waves of pleasure swept over his exhausted body.
“Yes, Severus,” he said. “God, how I want you!”
When Snape bit into his shoulder, it was more than Remus could stand, and he bucked his hips fiercely as he spilled his seed in the other man’s hand.
Suddenly, Snape sat up. Remus turned toward him, expecting another intimate conversation. But he noticed that the black eyes which were glaring at him were no longer glazed. Remus scrambled into a sitting position, tugging his nightshirt down at the same time.
Snape looked down at his dripping hand. “You bastard,” he growled. “Explain yourself!”
“I…you…,” Remus wasn’t sure where to begin.
“How could you take advantage of me like that?” Snape asked, practically snarling. “You used my sleepwalking as an excuse to fulfill your perverse fantasies!”
“You wanted it! I tried to tell you what was going on the other morning, but you wouldn’t listen,” Remus shouted.
“I wanted what? I was asleep, damn you!”
Remus was furious at Snape and furious at himself at the same time. Snape was right; he shouldn’t have allowed this to happen.
The other professor stormed from the room before Remus could gather his thoughts or begin any sort of explanation.
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The day proceeded to go downhill from there. Remus could barely keep his eyes open in class, and as a result, two third years were nearly mauled by the gremlin he had brought in for the lesson. Professor Sprout reminded him that his report for the student leadership committee was overdue. And he had a colossal headache that throbbed every time he moved his eyes.
To make matters worse, he couldn’t stop thinking about Snape. He felt horrible about how much he had enjoyed the caresses of the sleeping man. And there was a terrible sinking feeling in his stomach every time he realized that Snape hadn’t actually wanted him after all.
Remus somehow managed to make it to the end of his last class before he collapsed at his desk and slept through half of the afternoon. When he woke up, his headache was gone, but his neck was stiff. He cursed and headed out of the classroom toward his quarters.
As he passed the unmarked door to the balcony where he enjoyed spending time alone, he decided to step out and get a breath of fresh air. He was also hoping to gather his thoughts.
But when he pushed the door open, he saw Snape standing outside. Remus felt like he was trapped in a nightmare that wouldn’t end. He tried to pull the door shut, but Snape turned before he could do so.
“What do you want now?” Snape asked.
“Nothing from you,” Remus lied.
Snape smiled cruelly as Remus hesitated in the doorway. “Dumbledore is announcing the new head of Gryffindor tonight.”
“So you won, did you?” Remus asked quietly, stepping out onto the balcony.
“What do you mean?” Snape asked.
“I’m not getting the position. You forced Dumbledore to back down in the matter.”
“How did you know about that? That was a private matter that concerned only Dumbledore and me,” Snape snapped.
“You told me,” Remus said.
Snape squinted and turned his head slightly, never taking his eyes off the other professor.
“You’ve told me quite a few things over the past several nights. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
“Why should I believe anything you say to me about what happens when I’m asleep?” Snape asked incredulously.
“If there was any way for me to show you what you have said…what you have done…believe me, I would,” Remus said. His temper was beginning to wear rather thin.
Snape frowned for a moment, considering Remus’ words. “Prove it,” he said finally.
Remus didn’t know what Snape was getting at. “Fine,” he snapped.
As he followed the Deputy Headmaster back inside, he hoped everything would indeed turn out “fine”.
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Half an hour later, Remus was sitting on one side of Dumbledore’s desk facing Snape who was standing on the other side. He still wasn’t sure what the potion master was up to and he was rather leery of the whole situation, especially since the Headmaster had left voluntarily after a brief private conversation with Snape.
Snape turned to the cupboard behind the large chair and pulled out a large bowl full of a mercurial substance. He placed it directly in front of Remus. “I trust you’ve heard of a pensieve before?” he asked condescendingly.
“Of course I have,” Remus answered. He didn’t want to admit that he had never actually seen one before. “What exactly do you want me to do?” he asked hesitantly.
“If you will kindly put into it your memories from every night I’ve…visited…your quarters, then I will be able to sort out this mess and correct any false ideas your feeble mind may have developed.” Snape tapped his fingers impatiently on the desk beside the basin.
Remus stared at the swirling liquid, considering the implications of sharing his memories with Snape. If he did as the other man asked, Snape would be able to see everything that had occurred between them. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to share the open Severus with the masked Snape. Remus knew that Snape would destroy Severus without any hesitation or regret. But his conscience told him that Snape had a right to know what he had done and said. More of a right than Remus had to conceal these things.
Closing his eyes, Remus raised the point of his wand to his forehead and began remembering the first evening. After a moment, he slowly placed the tip of the wand in the bowl and felt the memory slip from his mind. He continued, carefully reliving each night that Snape had come to his chambers. Eventually, he could recall nothing more and he opened his eyes.
Remus watched as Snape peered into the bowl. Then he pulled it to the opposite side of the desk and sat down in Dumbledore’s chair. Snape’s long, slender fingers reached out to the silvery surface and brushed it gently before he suddenly vanished. Remus took a deep breath and waited a while before standing up and pacing nervously around the empty office. While he couldn’t remember any of the particulars about what Snape was seeing, he knew that he was being examined in a far more intimate way than he wanted.
The shadows in the office had grown long and Remus was stiff from sitting in one of the guest chairs when Snape finally rematerialized. He stood staring at the bowl, his face unreadable. Remus cautiously reached his wand out and touched the swirling substance before raising it to his forehead again. He winced slightly as the memories flooded back into his consciousness, reminding him painfully of what Snape had just seen. Now both men truly shared the nighttime experiences.
Snape wouldn’t meet Remus’ gaze.
“Well?” Remus finally asked.
“Well what?” Snape spit back. “You’ve had your fun. You’ve seen into my private hell enough to be able to laugh at me for the rest of my life. What more do you want?”
Remus stood up. “Is that what you think you saw? I never laughed at you! I just listened.”
Snape bent over the desk, glaring fiercely at Remus as his fingernails dug into the desktop. “You can rest assured that I will never be visiting you again. I will cut off my own legs if I have to!”
“Good, because I don’t want YOU in my quarters again!” Remus screamed back.
Snape stood back up, his jaw firmly clenched.
“I want Severus,” Remus finished.
Snape’s searing stare faltered momentarily before he grasped the edges of his robe and stormed from the office.
Remus stood motionless, staring at the pensieve and trying to come to grips with what he had just admitted to Snape and to himself.
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When he finally made it back to his quarters, he found a plate of food left there by a house elf who had noted his absence at dinner. He picked at the cold meal, unable to keep his mind from wandering through the day’s events. Even when he wrenched his thoughts from these unpleasant memories, they began imagining what life was going to be like now that Snape knew his feelings. Once again the potion master had the upper hand completely.
Remus sighed and decided to go to bed early. He still had some catching up to do on his sleep.
It was several hours later when the noise at the door woke him from his fitful dreams. Without realizing what he was doing, he arose and walked slowly to the entrance. He opened the door for Snape, but the other professor stood outside, staring down at the floor.
“Look, if you’re going to come in, then come in,” Remus muttered. Snape stepped inside and Remus closed the door.
He was just on his way back to the bed when Snape spoke. “Remus…”
“What is it tonight, Severus? I’m really tired and…”
Remus broke off as warm lips pressed against his own and fingers curled into his hair. He acquiesced for a moment before pulling back abruptly.
“No! Stop. I can’t do this any more…” he pleaded. Remus felt tears stinging his eyes. “I can’t make love to you while you’re asleep.”
“Then make love to me while I’m awake,” the deep voice said softly.
Remus opened his eyes completely for the first time since he had gotten out of bed. Severus was standing before him, fully dressed, and his eyes weren’t the slightest bit glazed.
Severus reached out and pulled him back into a hungry kiss. Their tongues met briefly before they passed over each other greedily. Remus leaned into the taller man’s body, running his hands down the coarse black material covering his trim torso. Severus tilted his head to the side as he explored Remus mouth.
The potion master slowly maneuvered them back to the bedchamber, never breaking the kiss. Then he suddenly pulled back.
“I almost forgot. I believe this is what you wanted.” Severus pulled a piece of paper from his robes and handed it to Remus.
Remus rubbed his bleary eyes with the back of his hand before taking it. He read it slowly.
It said, “I, Severus Snape am a complete bastard. I have been wrong about many things, especially concerning Professor Remus Lupin. I sincerely apologize.”
Remus blinked at the paper, trying to decide if he was dreaming. Then he smiled at Severus. “Is that all?” he asked facetiously.
To his surprise, Severus held out his hand, displaying a gold ring studded with rubies on his palm. “No.”
Remus looked at the piece of jewelry, not sure whether or not he was supposed to take it. “What is that?”
“The Gryffindor ring,” Severus said.
Remus took it gingerly and examined the ancient carvings that covered its surface. “It’s beautiful.”
“It’s yours.”
Remus slipped it over his large finger, afraid that it would never fit, but the charmed ring grew to accommodate his digit perfectly. He looked up at Severus who was smiling. The mask was gone, replaced by a radiance that Remus hadn’t seen since their days as students.
“You’re beautiful too,” he whispered. Then he kissed Severus lightly on the lips.
Severus closed his eyes and pulled Remus’ hands up to the buttons at the top of his collar. Remus began slowly working down the row of tiny closures as the other man worked up from the bottom. When their hands met in the middle, they clasped momentarily while Remus kissed Severus’ neck. Slowly, they managed to remove every bit of the heavy black clothing.
Remus climbed into the bed and shed his own nightshirt. Severus placed his wand on the night table and followed him. They lay silently facing one another. Then Severus raised his hand and traced a line across Remus’ cheek before trailing his fingertips over his collarbone and down his chest.
Remus moved in closer and worked his tongue over the other man’s lips until they parted and allowed him to enter. He drew his breath in sharply when Severus’ hardness pressed gently against his own, causing the potion master to grin around their kiss. Remus reached down and grasped the other cock.
Severus groaned into his mouth and reached over to the nightstand, groping for his wand. He waved it carelessly over Remus, breaking their kiss only long enough to mutter a spell. Remus felt the familiar lubrication spell taking effect, and his swelling passion caused his prick to ache unbearably.
Severus tossed the wand over the side of the bed and reached around Remus, running his fingers down the length of his spine and lower until he reached the tight opening. As he gently worked his way inside, Remus gasped and broke the kiss, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. Severus paused for a moment and then began tracing small circles on his neck with his tongue before gradually moving down to his chest and nipples. Each were carefully nipped and licked until they fairly stung with hardness.
Finally, Remus couldn’t bear the thorough attention any longer. “Please, Severus,” he begged, rolling over onto his back and spreading his legs. Severus rose up on one elbow and surveyed Remus’ muscular form. Remus began to feel exposed and feared that the other man might use his sudden weakness to humiliate him.
Instead, Severus leaned into his ear and whispered, “I want you too, Remus.”
Remus felt his cock twitch. The potion master quickly sat up and positioned himself between Remus’ knees. When his cock met the opening, Severus’ gaze fixed onto his own. Their eyes remained locked as Remus was entered with slow, gentle thrusts. The pleasure was excruciating as the taller man worked his way inside centimeter by centimeter. With one final push, Severus was fully sheathed in Remus.
Then he grasped the other man’s cock in his fist before lying down on top of him. Remus opened his mouth over the spot where Severus’ neck met his shoulder and sucked him roughly, leaving a mark, while bucking his hips desperately. The Deputy Headmaster, smiled again and began thrusting deeply into the head of Gryffindor, stroking Remus’ prick all the while.
After a few moments, Remus felt Severus climax inside of him as he shuddered violently. Instantly, Remus slipped over the edge, and didn’t notice as their moans mingled and echoed off the stone walls.
The two men lay in a tangled heap for several minutes before reluctantly sliding apart. Remus placed light kisses over Severus’ face until the potion master framed his face in his hands and covered Remus’ lips with his own.
“You’ll make an excellent head of Gryffindor,” Severus said.
“And you’ll make an excellent Deputy Headmaster,” Remus responded. He was glad that this was the beginning of a new era.
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