WARNING: This is a slash story, which means it contains male/male erotic content involving consenting adults. If you're not of legal age or are offended by such material, please go find something else to read.

Title: A Rock and a Hard Place
Author: Mathilda
Email: missmathildamay@yahoo.co.uk
Summary: Okay, this is the flip side of "Far Too Good at Being Bad". This time Remus POV. Snape/Remus (non-con)Slash(ish). Severus Snape has just turned spy for the good guys. It's about a year before the whole "Harry become boy who lived" stuff. Remus and Sirius are still together and fighting Voldemort.
Warning: Some BDSM and ambiguous!Snape and now some confused!Remus. Please do not read this if you are under 18
Spoilers: Look, just read the books first or don't come crying to me. Not so much a spoiler but this does assume you've read Snape's version first. It'll make more sense that way.
Disclaimer: Oh, if only...
Thanks: To everyone who fed back on FTGABB, especially the ones who pointed out my general lackadaisical attitude to spelling and such. I wish I could plead dyslexia but it's just laziness, stupidity and haste. Feel free to give me mark out of ten.

There are some of us, in this world, that are just born good. Things are black and white and every choice is simple. Rather dull isn't it?

And there are a few of us for whom even being bitten by a werewolf can't divert us from our calling. To choose good over evil. No matter what the personal cost.

But sometimes one doesn't actually have that choice. And that's when things get complicated.

Anyway, you know how this story starts right? Sirius and I, captured by the Death Eaters, end up tied to chairs in a scuffed up basement.

Good. I wouldn't want to bore you with unnecessary detail.

**

Malfoy was clearly enjoying himself. He was so turned on that when he had gagged Sirius he had been hard and wet enough to take some precome and smear it onto the ball before he forced it deep into Sirius' mouth.

'Just a little taste of what you'll be enjoying later.'

And now he was holding Sirius by the hair with one hand and slapping him hard round the face with the other.

'Well isn't this.'

Slap.

'Nice.'

Slap.

'It's a school.'

Slap.

'Reunion.'

Slap.

Sirius didn't even flinch. Not once.

'You know hurting you has really got me hot, Black. I can't wait to make you my bitch. You know if you're good, maybe I won't kill you.'

Sirius' grunt was a quite definite negative.

Then it was my turn.

As Malfoy walked over, Sirius began to do everything he could to get his attention back on to him. And Malfoy ignored this completely.

He reached me and grasped my chin forcing my head back so I was looking up at him. He nodded towards Sirius, still protesting, 'Noisy little bitch you've got there?'

I said nothing.

'He'll be screaming for a different reason before long.' And I felt a sudden hot pain as he suddenly slapped me.

He turned back to look at Sirius, who was flushed with rage, 'That was for refusing me, Black. Now, next time I tell you I'm going to fuck you I want you to reply with a nice ìyes please Mr Malfoyî, or well, whatever grateful sounds your restrictions allow.'

Sirius upped his noises of protest a notch.

In response to this Lucius slapped me again. Gods it hurt, it hurt so much, I tried to stay stoic like Sirius had, but there were already tears in my eyes. I blinked them away.

Lucius bent down and leaned close to me. His face was inches from mine. For one awful moment I thought he was going to kiss me.

'You want your little boyfriend to give himself to me nicely, don't you, Lupin? You want him to beg me to fuck him?'

I didn't answer.

'Does he do that for you? Beg? Or is that you? I've always wondered about you two. I know he's more of a butch, but these things aren't always clear cut, are they? So tell me, who gets on their knees, is it you, Lupin? Do you spread your legs and plead with him to take you? Hmm? Every time?'

Lucius' face was inches from mine, waiting for my answer.

So I spat right in his face.

And that got me my own gag, pulled very tight, though unanointed. And a last slap, so hard, I nearly went over backwards.

Great, now there was blood running down my face and the smell of blood does strange things to me.

Lucius marched out the room, muttering something about, no more preliminaries.

**

Well what could I do?

We were both wandless and very securely bound and gagged. There was no escape (and Sirius seemed to making doubly sure of that).

I didn't have a choice. Snape chose me. Maybe a part of me wanted that, sure, maybe, but that's just academic.

I didn't have a choice.

**

Snape leaned over and unbuckled the gag. I felt a huge relief as I took a breath, my head cleared. And, yes, I knew that he wanted me. And I knew I couldn't do a single thing to stop him taking what he wanted.

Sexual arousal is such a bitch isn't it? It's so difficult to think straight when one's cock is so very, very hard.

I don't mean then, by the way.

I mean right now.

Just remembering being in that room with him, bound and helpless, is doing it for me right now. I'm hard as a rock this very minute. Fuck. That shouldn't be.

Especially considering that back then, during Snape's 'interrogation', I managed to control myself.

For a while.

It wasn't easy, mind you. I did everything I could think of to keep it together. I followed protocol. I gave him name rank and number. I did the right thing. And I didn't beg him to do whatever he wanted with me. I didn't scream at him to use me and make me his whore. And I didn't offer to get on my knees for him, so he could grasp me by the hair and fuck my face until I cried from the sheer humiliation of being his cocksucking slut.

What's Dumbledore's line about choosing between what is good and what is right? What about choosing between what is good and what is so fucking hard?

And I was doing so well until he grabbed my cock and forced his tongue into my mouth. I was doing so well.

Maybe it was just the panic. Maybe it was the result of having my breathing restricted when my own goddamn blood was running down my face. Or maybe it was because I had always, always wanted him and always had to repress it and now, all of a sudden, I couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my responsibility.

He was just going to take it.

I couldn't do a fucking thing.

He tweaked my nipple, hard, and I moaned into his mouth and thrust up into his hand, losing myself in him.

'Now that's more like it, so much more friendly.'

'Please, Severus, please don't do this.'

That wasn't a last ditch attempt at doing the right thing, by the way, I know it sounds like one, but it wasn't. I said it because it turned me on to beg him to stop, knowing, knowing, my pleas would be ignored. I can't pretend any different.

'So you do remember me?'

And then, when I was at the point before the point of no return, it hit me and everything changed.

I could smell blood.

And it was Sirius' blood and I knew that scent like I knew his face. And if there was one single thing in this whole world I couldn't ever ignore it was that. It overwhelmed me so completely, even in that moment, it broke through.

And then there was nothing, nothing in my world except him: in danger; in pain.

'What do you want Remus? What can I do for you?'

'Please, please, make sure he doesn't hurt Sirius.'

**

And the next time I saw Severus Snape I was, I was someone else entirely.

**

'Why did you tell it like that?'

'Like what?'

'Why did you end it so quickly?'

'Well, they know the end, Severus, you told them that part.'

'But its odd if you leave it like that.'

'Well, I don't like the bit where you let me go so much. I like the bit where you're -- you know, doing stuff to me.'

'So are we going to tell them the next bit?'

'What when I come to Hogwarts?'

'Yes.'

'Okay, but not right now.'

'Why not? You know I do think they'd like to hear it now Remus.'

'I know, but, well, you know how I get when I tell that story. I'm rather -- rather flustered.'

'Flustered, are you? And can I do anything to help with that?'

'Yes, Severus, I rather think you can.'