A New Beginning

By Nicola Mattin

Sitting on the park bench, she held her head in her hands and sobbed and sobbed. It wasn’t fair, she tried to be good to her family, but whatever she did was never good enough. She had moved to America, Waldorf of all places to get away from them. Her friends had persuaded her that distance between her and her family was a good idea. So she took it to the limit, moving thousands of miles away. She loved it. She had her own house, a job she loved she had made friends and most importantly of all she had her independence, she wasn’t constantly looking over her shoulder, or wondering if she was going to be made to feel small when she went to visit. Unfortunately now her family resented her. She had gone from being the one they all picked on, especially her brother. She still had the bruises and the aching in her bones from the last time she had seen him, to the one they were now apparently ignoring. They hadn’t liked her moving, and now it seemed she was getting on well they wanted to spoil it. She hadn’t heard from them for at least two weeks so she rang her mum; she was informed that her mother no longer had a daughter. Then the line went dead.

This was how she came to be sat sobbing her heart out on a park bench. They treated her badly but she still wanted their love and approval. A man came and sat next to her, she barely registered him, lost in her tears.

“Um excuse me. I don’t mean to pry, but are you alright?” He asked.

“Do I look alright?” She snapped.

“No. sorry. I’ll leave you alone” He got up to leave.

 Composing herself she looked up, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped, it’s not your fault, you were just being kind. She gasped in surprise as she recognised his face.

He smiled and sat down again. Reaching in his pocket he fished out some tissue and handed it to her.

“Thanks”

“Like your t shirt” He started grinning.

She went red as she realised she was wearing her Good Charlotte t shirt, and she was sat beside Joel. She self consciously folded her arms across her chest.

“It’s ok. I have seen one before!” He laughed and she found herself laughing back.

“That’s better. You have a lovely smile. So why were you crying?” He asked.

“My family. I moved here from England six months ago to get away from them. They don’t like it. So I’m getting the silent treatment at the moment, still it’s better than being picked on.” She looked at him; he had concern and sadness in his eyes.

“That’s terrible, sounds like your better off here” He self consciously hugged her.

“I love it here. It’s really great. I won’t go back. It’s just when I hear from them, or in this case I don’t. I just get upset!”

“I think you need cheering up and I’ve got just the thing!”

“You have?” She smiled.

“Yeah. I’m on my way to a rehearsal for the tour we’re about to go on. Come with me?” He asked.

“I’d love to” She grinned. “But you’ve been kind enough already. You’ve really cheered me up”

“Please come. I’d like you to.” He said shyly.

“Ok” They both stood up. She linked her arm through his. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. She was totally unaware of how she made Joel’s heart skip a beat as she did so.

Joel tried not to think of the affect she was having on him and instead focused fully on the conversation they were having. He found out she was called Emily and that she was 24. She had saved hard before she had moved and had set up her own nursery. It had started to take off and she had become close friends with the girls that worked for her.

“That’s great. Seems like you really have your life together over here.” Joel said.

“Yep I tend to think about England less and less. I just need to get myself a decent man now!”

She laughed embarrassed, because she was finding herself increasingly attracted to Joel.

“I’m sure one will come along when you least expect it”

“What like when I’m sat sobbing on a park bench?” She asked quietly.

“Maybe.” He smiled, “So do you want to go somewhere after the rehearsal?” He wanted to know.

“Like a date?”

“Yes”

“I’d love to, but you have to let me get changed before hand”

“It’s a deal.” They grinned at each other and Joel gently kissed her on the cheek.

The rehearsal went well. It was like they were giving a private concert just for her. She was curled up in a comfy chair, watching. She found herself looking at Joel all the way through. He was gorgeous, and so sweet. He didn’t have to stop when he saw her crying but he did. He caught her looking; well staring would be a better description! And he smiled. She went red but held his gaze, returning his smile.

“Earth to Joel. Come in! We’ve started playing, that’s usually your cue to start singing!” Benji teased.

“Wha… uh yeah sorry. Can we start again please I got distracted”

“We know, one more song and you can go be distracted all you want ok?” Benji smiled and whispered in his ear. “She seems nice and she certainly likes you.”

Joel walked her home.

“Have a seat, I’m just going to get changed I won’t be long, make yourself at home”

When she came down the stairs, Joel came and met her. “You look lovely,” he said gazing at her admiringly.

“Thanks it’s amazing how much better I look without mascara and eye liner running down my face, Good look for Benji not so good for me!” She giggled. She reached round him to get her coat. As she did so Joel saw the slowly fading bruises on her upper arms.

“How did they happen?” He asked lightly

“Umm… well…I upset my brother before I moved” She pulled her sleeves down and looked at the floor.

“He hit you? Is that how you got them?” he lifted her chin up gently and got her to look at him.

“He was…..he was..angry. He didn’t want me to move, he shouted at me, and then he hit me, I blacked out. My flatmate found me, he’d obviously carried on kicking me, because I still ache from that night. I haven’t seen him since.”

“Oh god. You shouldn’t have had to go through that. No wonder you wanted as many miles between you as possible. Did your parents know what he did?”

“Yes. But he’s the golden boy, can do no wrong. They see me as the troublemaker, so I apparently bring it all on myself!”  Tears spilled from her eyes. “Look you’ve only known me a day, it’s not fair for me to be telling you all this. Thank you for a lovely day, I enjoyed it, but maybe you should go now” She removed herself from his arms and put her coat back, then slumped on the stairs.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m here to take you on a date, and that’s what I’m going to do. We don’t have to go out, I’ll cook for you here. I’ll be back in half an hour, I’m just going to go shopping. He kneeled down in front of her and she looked at him. “Ok?”

“Ok” She attempted to smile, but this caused the tears to flow again. He gently kissed them away. Then he went to the shops.

True to his word he was back half an hour later laden down with fresh vegetables and cream cake. She had changed when he got back and had put some music on, she looked more relaxed.

“ You look better” He said as he started chopping vegetables and putting the cooker on.

“I feel much better, thanks, that’s a lot to do with you. I feel happy for the first time in ages. Like properly happy. You know?”

“I think so.” He smiled, “and I’m glad I had something to do with it.”

That night went fast. They talked and talked then talked some more. They got to know each other really well. She had told him all about her life in England and he had just listened and understood. He let her cry, it was the first time she had really let it all out, she felt a hundred times better afterwards.

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t really much of a date was it?” She said the following morning, they had talked all night and were having breakfast before Emily went to work.

“It was fine. You were upset and I was comforting you, that’s what boyfriends do…..” He trailed off as she digested what he said.

“Boyfriend?” She asked

“If you want?” He answered

“I’d like that! But let me cook for you tonight. I’m quite a little cook when I put my mind to it.”

“That would be lovely, I can meet you from work, what time do you finish?”

“3pm. I’ll try and come up with something delicious for tonight”

“I’ll be there at 3pm then. I do have to go to rehearsals at 4pm though, wanna come again?”

“I’d love to, I’ll get the food for tonight in my lunch hour.”

“Ok, we’ll go to mine tonight though” He got up and went over to her, she looked at him and he kissed her.

“I could get used to your kisses!” he said five minutes later.

“Ditto! Oh dear is that the time? I’m going to be late!” She rushed about getting her bag and coat,

“Leave whenever you want just make sure the doors locked” She called down the hall.

“Ok,” He sat down at the kitchen table and started finishing his cereal. He’d had one mouthful when he heard the door go again and Emily came running in,

“I forgot to do this!” She kissed him on the lips, “Well I say forget, I just wanted to do it again. See you later”

“Bye” He called after her, shaking his head grinning.

The next few months were great. Emily was really happy. She felt like part of a family. She had gained four brothers. They were all very protective of her. They knew about her family and from the way they were protective of her they knew bout the bruises. It was like they wanted to show her what having brothers was really like. They teased her, tickled her, played jokes on her and treated her like a princess. She wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

Last day at work before the summer hols. Then I get to spend more than just a couple of days with you! Whoo hoo!” Emily hugged Joel then carried on with the last minute packing she was doing.

“I know I can’t wait” Joel agreed. “Look Em, are you sure you want to go EVERYWHERE with us? You don’t have to, I’ll understand” He looked at her closely.

“If you mean London. Yes I want to go. We’re not going to Southampton so it’s fine. Anyway I’ll have my five bodyguards with me! Stop worrying. I hate when you worry bout me, I feel terrible”

“I worry cos I love you, but if you think its fine, then its fine. You’re looking forward to seeing your friends aren’t you? He smiled.

“I can’t wait. It’s been over a year since I last saw Hannah and Michelle. Please don’t worry though sweetheart, at least not until there’s something to worry bout kay?” She hugged him again.

They arrived in London one Tuesday in august. They were playing two dates at Brixton and her friends were coming to the second night. They were just checking in at the hotel when Emily’s phone rang. Thinking it must be Hannah or Michelle she answered “hi” The colour drained from her face as the voice hurled abuse at her. It was her mother. “We know where you are you little bitch and your brother is coming to get you.”

It was just Billy and her in reception. Everyone else had gone up to their rooms. Billy looked over at her, one look at her white face he knew something was wrong. He went over took the phone and listened. Her mother was still shouting. He hung up.

“Em are you alright? Was that your mother?” He asked.

“Yeah” She answered shakily. “Billy she said they knew where I was and my brother was coming to get me. I’m scared.”

“Shit”

“Can you get Joel. Please?”

“I’ll ring him. I’m not leaving you alone”

Two minutes later Joel and Benji were running through reception to where they were sat.

“Are you alright?” Joel sat by her, hugging her for all he was worth.

“Joel I’m scared. I don’t want to go back. He can’t take me can he?”

She looked terrible, like a little girl all helpless.

“You aren’t going anywhere with him. We’ll change hotels. We’re all here and we aren’t going to let anything happen to you” Joel stated.

She managed a weak smile.

Benji got up “Me and Bill will go and tell Chris and Paul what’s happening”

As he walked past he squeezed their shoulders reassuringly. He was worried, not just for Emily, but also for Joel.

Later that afternoon they were in another hotel feeling more relaxed.

“How are you feeling now?” Billy asked.

“A lot better. It freaked me out more than anything. I haven’t heard from them for months! Still I know I’m safe if I’m with all of you. Joel’s my knight in shining armour! And the rest of you are like the brothers I never had!” She hugged Billy. He looked really touched.

“Awww shucks that’s sweet of you to say. We all love you. “ He grinned.

She had no more phone calls other than one from a crying Hannah, her brother had overheard Hannah and Michelle talking, that’s how he knew where she was.

“Don’t worry. It’s not your fault. I still want to see you Thursday. Kay? Take care, bye”

The afternoon before the second concert Emily wanted to go shopping, then meet Hannah and Michelle from the train.

“Look I don’t think it’s a good idea you go on your own” Joel protested.

“But I want to go and all of you are tied up doing interviews. I’ll be fine. I can’t be scared all my life.”

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea” He went on looking uneasy.

“Please Joel!” She pleaded. “I’ll ring you every hour so you know I’m fine”

“Make it every half an hour” Benji replied. “Then we’ll know you’re ok”

“Ok. Thanks.” She smiled at Benji. “I’ll see you all soon, happy interviews!”

She kissed Joel, whispered I love you and was gone.

It went well the first two hours. She rang on time. “I’m just waiting for them at the station now. I’ll see you soon. Love you.” she hung up.

The train pulled in and she scanned the faces of the people getting off for her friends. She saw them further down the platform. Waving she started walking toward them. Wondering why, they didn’t exactly look pleased to see her. She got her answer two seconds later. Her brother Gary was walking behind them. He grinned at her. Her blood ran cold, but try as she might she couldn’t run. They all stood looking at each other.

“You two can go now, you’ve served your purpose” He pushed Michelle and Hannah out the way.

“Run along now” His eyes never left Emily’s face.

“Find Joel, we’re staying at the Hilton park hotel.” As Hannah walked past Emily was thinking clearly enough to reach in her pocket and take out the scrap of paper that had Billy’s new phone number on it. She hadn’t got round to changing it on her phone yet. Gary never noticed. Hannah took it and quickly hurried to a safe enough distance away and dialled the number.

Billy answered his phone. “Who? Slow down. I can’t understand what you are saying! Oh fuck! Where are you now, can you still see them? Keep watching them. We’ll be right there. One of you meet us at the entrance ok?”

Benji and Joel were laughing over a stupid joke when they heard Billy’s raised voice. They knew immediately something had happened.

“Quick come on. We have to get to waterloo NOW! Her brother was on the train and he has her.”

Joel felt sick. “If anything happens to her, I’ll never forgive myself”

“Nothing is going to happen, we’re right around the corner from the station” Benji tried to sound hopeful, but he was exactly convincing, he was worried sick to. But Joel appreciated the effort.

“Thanks bro” He responded weakly.

Gary grabbed her by the arm and frogmarched her to the disabled toilet. Michelle followed closely, Hannah was making her way to the entrance.

“Get your hands off me!” Emily screamed. A few people looked but most carried on walking.

“Scream again and you’ll be sorry” He tightened his grip.

She complied. Hoping against hope Joel was on his way. He pushed her through the door and up against the wall. “So thought you’d come back and not tell us did you? That’s not very nice” Smack. His fist hit her in the stomach. “We’re your family. You should be with us and I’m going to make sure you come back with me.” Smack. This time he hit her open handed across the face. She could feel the blood oozing down her face.

“Please just let me go! I’m happy, can’t you just let me be happy?” She cried desperately.

She tried reasoning with him. It didn’t work. He got angrier. He stopped talking and instead concentrated on hitting her.

Michelle could hear her being hit and wished they would hurry up. She knew what he was capable of. She had found Emily the day she had blacked out. Finally she saw Hannah and five very angry and extremely worried looking young men running toward her, they’d managed to find a policeman, he was calling for back up as they arrived. Joel began pounding on the door. “Emily, Emily” he called. Inside Emily heard him and tried to shout back but Gary covered her mouth. The policeman tried to force the door open. Joel immediately began helping him. Suddenly the door was starting to give. Benji joined them to quicken the process. The door crashed down. Gary had Emily by the throat and was pummelling her ribs. The policeman grabbed him arresting him and handing him to the other officers who had arrived. Joel rushed to Emily. She was slipping in and out of consciousness. He held her in his arms crying. Her eyes flickered as she recognised her boyfriend. “Joel” she managed to say, before losing consciousness altogether.

“Joel I can get it myself. I’m just a bit sore, not incapable!” It had been a month since the attack. And they were back home. She was resting. Gary had beaten her up badly. She didn’t regain consciousness for two days. Joel had kept a vigil at her bedside and his was the first face she saw when she opened her eyes. “I know you can. But just cos you can doesn’t mean I’m going to let you!” He smiled as he passed her her drink. Then carefully he cuddled up to her on the sofa. “Benji will be round later. I can tell him not to come if you’re not up to it?”

“Is he? Excellent. I’ve missed him. I’m glad he had a good holiday though.”

She ran her fingers through his hair, just enjoying his closeness. He looked up at her smiling and leant in for a kiss. They got more passionate. Then Joel pulled away. “I don’t want to hurt you, it’s not that I don’t want to, I’m just scared I’ll hurt your ribs” He looked genuinely pained.

“How about we go really slowly? And if you hurt me I tell you straight away?” She offered.

“O” he never finished as she was kissing him. They took it slowly, Joel being especially gentle. Somehow they ended up led on the carpet wrapped in the blanket Emily had originally been sat under.

“That was incredible” Joel decided, pulling her gently to his chest.

“It was wasn’t it?” She sighed, breathing him in. “Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you”

“I love you to”

They fell asleep and when they woke, they were embarrassed to find Benji looking at them.

“I’ll be in the kitchen” He laughed shutting the door behind him.

They dressed quickly and made their way to the kitchen. Benji greeted Emily in the doorway. “How are you feeling?” He hugged her carefully, mindful of her ribs.

“Much better. Joel’s been really good. But he needs a break, so take him out for the evening tomorrow will you?”

“No” Joel protested.

“Yes” She said firmly.

“You’re the boss. Are you going to be here on your own though?” Benji wanted to know.

“No Laura from work is coming over. She’s going to let me know how the nursery’s been getting on. “

“You’re just going to gossip the evening away aren’t you?” Benji teased.

“Business first. Then yeah we’re going to gossip!” She giggled. “She has a new boyfriend and of course I’ve plenty to say about my wonderful other half!”

“What like? He looks good in a blanket?!”

“Shut up!” Joel told his brother.

“Who’s hungry?” She asked hastily changing the subject.

“I’ll get something. You go and sit down.” Joel started.

“Benji take your brother in the living room and make him relax ok? I can make risotto without straining myself!”

Benji forcibly removed Joel to the living room, and left Emily to it. Smiling to herself she started cooking.

Three months later Hannah and Michelle helped Emily into her wedding dress.

“You look gorgeous! Joel is going to be blown away when he sees you!”

“Are we ready to go?” Billy popped his head round the door.

“Emily you look amazing!”

“Thanks. I think the designer did a very flattering job!” Billy was giving her away. He’d also designed her dress. It was the darkest purple and cut in the style of a dress from the Jane Austen period.

They got to the church. The music started and they began walking down the aisle. Joel turned round smiling. He looked good in a suit. By the time she got to him, he was wiping the tears away. “You look fantastic!” He whispered.

“So do you” She whispered back. The ceremony went without a hitch. It was the best day of their lives. Topped only by the birth of their twins, a boy and a girl, Joseph and Elizabeth nine months later.

                                                                  THE END