Back
Change
by anonymous
Chapter one
*~*1994*~*
It was another hot, cloudless, summers day in Waldorf and as Phoebe sat
outside LaPlata High School, waiting for Joel, she thought to herself, and not
for the first time
“I’ve
grown up in this town, why do we have to move now!?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joel walked around the corner to see
Phoebe sitting on the school wall. Joel knew this might be the last time they
would ever see each other again.
As
Phoebe looked up, Joel broke into a jog and sat on the wall next to Phoebe.
“Hey
Joel” Phoebe said with a weak smile.
“Hey”
For
half an hour Phoebe and Joel sat on the wall, talking and laughing, then out of
nowhere, an awkward silence fell upon the pair.
“I’ll
miss you” Joel mumbled, staring at his feet. As he looked Joel could see a
single tear falling down Phoebe’s pale cheek.
“I’ll
miss you too Joel,” Phoebe said softly, “You’re my best friend!”
As
Phoebe placed her head on Joel’s shoulder, he began to stroke her hair gently.
“Best
friends, why are we only ever best friends?” Joel thought to himself. He
wished, and not for the first time, that Phoebe thought of him as more than just
a friend, but that would never happen, she could do much better than him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“If only I could have said he
was my boy friend, not just my best friend.” Phoebe thought to herself.
She knew Joel didn’t feel the same way. They would always be friends, nothing
more. If only things were different…
Phoebe looked at her watch, 1:10.
“I
have to go,” she said in a whisper, not wanting the moment to end, “Dad
wanted me home 10 minutes ago.”
“Okay,”
Joel said reluctantly, sliding off the wall. “Well I guess this is it.”
“Yeah,”
Phoebe agreed uneasily, “I guess so.”
“I’ll
miss you.” Joel said again, pulling Phoebe into a hug.
“I’ll
miss you t-” Phoebe was cut off, before she knew what was happening, Joel had
leaned in and kissed her quickly. No sooner had their lips touched, Joel pulled
away and began to walk off hurriedly. Phoebe knew she should call him back, but
she couldn’t move, let alone call after him, she just stared at Joel until he
had turned the corner.
Through out the whole plane journey, Phoebe could think about nothing but
her meeting with Joel that afternoon. Had he been joking? Benji probably dared
him to do it! Was it just a friendly kiss? It wasn’t like they had actually
French kissed or anything! Maybe he did fancy her after all? No, surely not. He
just thought of her as a friend… right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*~*4
Years Later*~*
As
Phoebe stepped off the plane, the hot sun hit her back. It felt so good to be
back home in America.
When
her Dads business deal had ended, he had decided to stay in England, but Phoebe
knew that she had to go back to America, back to Waldorf. It was where she
belonged.
As
she drove past LaPlata High School, and the wall where she had last seen Joel,
Phoebe began to wonder whether coming back had been such a good idea.
She
had managed to get a little house quite close to where she used to live, just
down from LaPlata High School. As she parked her new car up, all Phoebe could do
was hope that Joel had moved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey!
Joel” Benji shouted up the stairs, “Are you coming to Billy’s for band
practice or not!?”
“Okay!
Okay! I’m coming!” Joel shouted as he came running down the stairs, towards
the front door.
“Finally!”
Benji sighed, as Joel grabbed his keys, “We just got signed you dick! You
can’t just sit in your room listening to music. You have to make
music!”
“Hahaha”
Joel replied sarcastically, “Very funny Benji! Lets just go!”
“Okay,
but lets go through Box Elder Road. I heard someone’s moving in, I wanna be
nosey!”
“Okay,
whatever” Joel replied in a couldn’t-care-less tone.
As
they walked through Box Elder Road, Joel saw a girl un-loading boxes from the
back of her car. As she turned around, Joel and Benji caught a glimpse of her
face. Joel couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“It’s…
it’s…”
“Phoebe”
Benji finished for him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As
Phoebe turned around to put down her last box, she came face to face with…
“Joel!?”
“Phoebe!!”
Joel shouted as he pulled her into a hug.
As
Joel embraced her, Phoebe could see Benji watching them awkwardly from behind.
“Benji!”
She screamed, running to give him a hug. “How are you guys!?”
“We’re
good.” Benji replied, “What about you? You look great!”
“Thanks,”
Phoebe laughed, “You guys wanna come in? We have loads to catch up on!”
“We
sure do,” said Joel, ready to accept her offer.
“Yeah…
but we can’t stay right now,” Benji smirked, “we have band practice, and
we’d better go if we want to stay signed!”
“You
got signed!?” Phoebe screamed, leaping onto Benji, “How long have you been
waiting to tell me that then?” she laughed as she went to hug Joel.
“From
the moment I knew you were moving back” Benji smirked, “We’re really late,
we’d better go”
“Yeah,
I suppose Benji’s right,” Joel agreed reluctantly, “but come round mine
about six? I’m at number 5 Chaff Way now. The guys will be so surprised to see
you!”
“Okay
then” Phoebe said beaming. She watched the two of them until they had turned
the corner. “Shit!” she muttered under her breath.
“You knew it was Phoebe who was moving in, didn’t you!?” Joel questioned his brother.
“Yup”
Benji smirked.
“Why didn’t you tell
me!?” Joel half shouted.
“Well, you think about
her all the time, I thought you’d prefer the surprise!”
It was true, Joel
thought to himself. Every girl he had ever dated, he would end up comparing to
Phoebe. He knew it wasn’t fair on them, but he couldn’t help it, Phoebe was
the only girl he had ever loved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phoebe pulled up outside Joel’s house,
and sat in her car, not wanting to have to go in and see Joel. Just as she
started to turn her keys, ready to drive back home, Benji appeared at the front
door.
Phoebe plastered a smile onto her face, and stepped out of the car.
“Hey Benji!” she said pulling him into a hug.
“Hey!” Benji beamed, closing the front door behind her,
“Everyone’s in the living room, through here.”
As Phoebe stepped into the living room, she could see Paul, Aaron and
another person she had never met before.
“Phoebe!?” Paul shouted, jumping up to give her a hug, “Great job
in growing up!”
“It’s nice to see you too!” Phoebe laughed, walking over to Aaron.
“Hey Aaron!”
“Hey!” Aaron smiled, hugging Phoebe, “How are you? Nice accent by
the way!”
“Thanks,” Phoebe said, giggling, “I’m good.” Phoebe turned
around to see Joel behind her.
“This is Billy,” he said, indicating to the person still sitting
down, “he’s with the band now too.”
“Hey,” Billy said, standing up to greet Phoebe, “I take it your
Phoebe!” he said smiling.
“How did you guess!?” Phoebe said, laughing.
“Anyone for my famous Chinese dinner?” Benji asked from the other
side of the room.
“Oh shut up Benji!” Phoebe laughed, “We all know it’s just a
microwave dinner!”
“She’s still got it” Paul said as everyone but Benji laughed.
“That hurt my feelings!” Benji said, putting on his puppy dogface.
“Awwwww,” Phoebe said softly, “not the puppy dog face!”
“Do you want food or not?” Benji asked, laughing.
“Actually,” Joel cut in, holding onto Phoebe’s arm, “I was hoping
we could go down to the beach for a while… just the two of us… to talk…
ya’know?”
“Sure,” Phoebe said, trying her best to keep smiling, “do you want
to go now or-“
“Let’s go now,” Joel said quietly, “See you guys later, and
don’t trash my house!! That’s what Paul’s place is for!!”
“Hey!” Paul shouted as Joel and Phoebe left the house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Phoebe and Joel sat on the beach, they
talked about what had happened since Phoebe had left, and recalled memories from
when they had still been in school together, but as the sun began to set, an
awkward silence fell upon them.
“Phoebe?” Joel asked quietly.
“Yeah?” Phoebe replied, turning to face Joel.
“I… I…” Joel stammered, looking down, “I really missed
you…”
“I
missed you too Joel,” Phoebe said, smiling weakly, “but we need to talk
about the day I left. When-” Phoebe was suddenly cut off, when Joel’s lips
touched hers, but this wasn’t like their last kiss, this was the real thing,
and Phoebe could almost see the fireworks.
Joel
pulled away from Phoebe slowly and the pair of then sat in silence for what
seemed like an eternity.
“I’m
sorry,” Joel blurted our, embarrassed, “I always fuck everything up! It’s
just that-”
“The
day I left,” Phoebe cut in, “when you kissed me, was that… did you… do
you really like me or-”
“I
love you Phoebe,” Joel interrupted, “I always did, but I knew you didn’t
feel the same. You was always so perfect, you could do much better than me then
and you can now too.”
As
Joel began to get up, Phoebe grabbed hold of his arm, “I love you too.”
Phoebe
almost laughed at the shocked expression on Joel’s face, “I’ve loved you
from the very first moment we met!”
“You
really mean it!?” Joel asked beaming.
“Of
course” Phoebe said smiling, leaning in for another kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*~*
2 weeks later *~*
As Joel walked past the jewelers,
he saw a small, heart shaped locket, in the window, with the inscription, “For
my true love” written next to a small carving of a rose. Joel was just
planning on getting Phoebe some chocolates, but he knew he had to get that
locket.
He walked home, and went
straight to his photo albums, which were all hidden away somewhere in his room,
all accept a few… the ones with Phoebe in. Joel flicked through them all, and
found the perfect picture of them together from the 8th grade, he cut it out and
put it in one side of the locket, then ran over to his desk and picked up the
picture they had taken together the previous week. He put it in the other side
of the locket, and admired his work. It was the perfect gift and he knew it.
That night, Joel walked
around to Phoebe’s house and knocked on the door. Phoebe opened the door and
stood beaming at Joel.
“Happy Birthday,”
Phoebe said sexily, leaning in for a kiss.
“That was the best
birthday kiss I have ever had!” Joel said beaming, as Phoebe closed the door.
Joel and Phoebe sat down in her living room, and Joel began to fiddle, trying to
find something in his pocket. He brought out a long, blue box, with fancy gold
lettering, forming the words ‘I love you’.
“This is for you,”
he said, as he handed it to Phoebe, smiling “it was two weeks today that we
started going out.”
“It’s your birthday
Joel! You shouldn’t be buying me presents!” Phoebe replied, obviously very
pleased that Joel had done something so sweet. She opened the box, and stared in
amazement at the beautiful locket, that was lying in the blue velvet lining the
box. “I love it!” she said beaming and turning to face Joel.
“Open it” he said,
beaming.
As Phoebe opened the
locket, she saw two pictures, both with Joel and herself, one from the week
before, and the other from over 5 years ago, when they had been in high school
together, Phoebe turned to face Joel, her eyes sparkling with tears, “I love
you Joel”
“I love you too”
Joel replied, as they began to kiss.
“Talking of presents,” Phoebe said, standing up with a cheeky smile
on her face, “let me just go and get yours”. With that, Phoebe left the
room, and Joel sat quietly for a few minuets, when he suddenly heard Phoebe
calling him from upstairs. He ran upstairs to her room, but couldn’t see
anything, just as he began to turn around to go and look for Phoebe else where,
he heard Phoebe behind him, “Over here”
As Joel turned around,
her saw Phoebe leaning against, the doorway of her bathroom, dressed in a slinky
black, silk nightgown.
“Sit!” she ordered,
motioning towards the bed. As Joel sat down, she came and sat next to him. She
took of the bathrobe slowly, and Joel could see she was wearing nothing but a
brand new set of sexy black underwear, and her locket. “So what do you think
of your present?” she asked with a gleam in her eyes.
“Brilliant,” Joel
replied cheekily, “but I think we need to try it out before I can be sure!”
With that, Joel leaned in for a kiss, and I think I’ll leave the rest to your
imagination.
The next day, Joel was
standing outside the local café, waiting for Phoebe, when he saw… no…
surely not… Mandy! Joel began to worry; he had been going out with Mandy for
about a month when she, like Phoebe, had moved. He didn’t think he would ever
see her again, and had no intention of two timing her, or Phoebe, but he knew it
would look like it. He turned around and began to walk away from Mandy, but it
was too late, he heard her voice calling his name, and he knew he had to turn
around and face her.
“Joel!” Mandy half
shouted, beaming, “I’ve missed you so much!” and before Joel could say
anything, Mandy had leaned in for a kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As Phoebe turned the corner, into
the road where she was meeting Joel, she came full view with a couple kissing,
just as Phoebe was about to walk around them, she recognized Joel from behind,
and stood motionless for a second, before she ran off crying, Joel still totally
unaware that she had turned up.
Joel pushed Mandy off, and she looked upset.
“Joel… what is it? What did I do?” she asked, hurt.
Joel took hold of her arm and sat down with her on a near by bench.
“Mandy… I, I thought you’d moved away for good. I didn’t think
I’d ever see you again”
“Aww! You’re so sweet! Well I’m back now, and we can pick up where
we left off!” she said, beaming, getting the wrong end of the stick.
“No… Mandy,” Joel said, trying his best not to hurt her feelings,
“I assumed we had broken up, I’m with someone else now, I still love you,
but… well, I’ve moved on. It’s almost been six months, I just thought
that-”
“I understand” Mandy cut in, her face dropping, “your right, it was
stupid of me to think that you would have just saved yourself for me, even
though I may never have come back.” Mandy looked down, and a tear fell slowly
down her cheek.
“I’m sorry Mandy.” Joel said awkwardly, “Don’t cry”
Mandy smiled weakly, and pulled Joel into a hug, “I love you”. She
said simply, and walked off.
Joel sat on the bench, waiting for Phoebe, relieved that Mandy had been
so calm about everything. After 15 minuets, Phoebe still hadn’t turned up, and
Joel began to wonder what had happened to her. After a further five minuets,
Joel began to get worried, he got up, and walked to her house slowly to see if
she was still there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As
Phoebe sat on her sofa crying, she heard her doorbell and reluctantly, she went
to answer it. Joel stood in front of her, smiling at first, but his expression
quickly changed when he saw the state Phoebe was in.
“Phoebe!?”
he asked worriedly, “What is it? What’s wrong? What happened?” He leaned
in to give Phoebe a hug, but she pushed him away and glared at him.
“How
dare you come around here pretending you care about me!” she screamed at Joel.
“What?
I don’t underst-”
“I
saw you kissing that girl!” she screamed, “Now go away!! It’s over Joel!
Why don’t you go crying to her!?” With that, Phoebe pulled off her locket
and threw it at Joel, “You can have that back too!” She screamed, slamming
the door in Joel’s face.
Phoebe
could hear Joel shouting at her through the door, but she couldn’t hear what
he was saying, nor did she care, she slid down the wall, and sat on the floor,
drowning in her tears.
*~*
One month later *~*
As Phoebe lay on her sofa, she woke to another day of torture. She looked
around her at the empty beer cans and wine bottles strewn across the floor, and
the various stains on her carpet from where she had thrown up so many times. She
pulled herself up slowly, and clutched her head, which was throbbing just like
it had every morning of the last month.
Phoebe hadn’t left the house since the night she had caught Joel
cheating on her. Nobody cared about her, she hadn’t had any visitors, and the
only messages she would get on her phone were from Joel. At first, Phoebe had
turned to her fridge, and had eaten its entire contents within a few days. When
she had run out of food, Phoebe had turned to drink, and now everyday was just
the same blur over and over again. She would drink until she passed out, and
would wake with a throbbing headache, just to start the entire cycle again.
As Phoebe passed her phone on the way to her kitchen, she saw the little
red light flashing in the corner, indicating that she had received another
message. She deleted it automatically; it would only be another message from
Joel. Phoebe carried on towards the kitchen, opened her fridge and grabbed the
biggest bottle of alcohol she could find. She blinked, and tried to get her eyes
to focus properly, the words ‘Vodka’ materialized in front of her, and
Phoebe grunted, she grabbed a packet of tablets, and turned back to her living
room, the bottle firmly in her hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Benji
walked up to Phoebe’s front door, and knocked on it loudly. When there was no
answer, he went to look through her window, and stared open mouthed. Phoebe’s
front room was strewn with empty glasses and cans. Everything had been thrown to
the floor, and in the middle of the mess, he could see a figure, sprawled out on
the floor, a glass of vodka still held tightly in her hand.
He ran back to the front door, and tried with all of his strength to kick
it open, after a surprisingly short amount of time, Benji managed to get the
door open, and he ran into Phoebe’s living room, praying that Phoebe was okay.
As he ran in, he saw Phoebe, except it wasn’t the Phoebe he knew, she
was paper-thin, and was even paler than normal, almost completely chalk white,
there she was, lying on the floor, completely motionless, and Benji started to
fear the worse. He ran over to her and grabbed hold of her shoulders.
Chapter
Five
“Phoebe!?” he asked, shaking her
gently “Phoebe! Oh god! What have you done to yourself!?” he shouted,
looking around the room. He grabbed a vase, lying on the floor, which still
contained some water. He threw it in Phoebe’s face, and she woke up, coughing
and spluttering.
“Benji!?” she asked, blinking to try and get her eyes to make some
sense of the figure leaning over her.
“Yeah, it’s me.” Benji replied softly, helping Phoebe onto the
sofa, “What’s happened to you Phoebe? How long has this been going on? You
look a mess!”
“If you came over to be rude Benji,” Phoebe snapped, “then you can
leave!”
“Sorry,” Benji replied embarrassed, “we’ve been really worried
about you Phoebe, and when I saw you on the floor, I thought you might have,
well… ya’know”
Phoebe knew what Benji was thinking, and realised he couldn’t have seen
the tablets by her foot. She pushed them out of his view, and looked up at him.
“Why
did you come over anyway?” she asked, even though she already knew that Joel
had sent him over.
“Joel
wanted me to-”
“Don’t
talk about Joel to me! If all you came here to do, was make pointless apologies
on your brothers behalf, then I’m afraid that this has been a waste of a
visit!”
“Look,
Phoebe, I can see that there is no use in me staying,” said Benji, a little
upset at Phoebe’s reaction to his visit, “but Joel wanted me to give you
this. Please listen to it Phoebe, for me if not for Joel, I hate seeing you like
this!” with that, Benji handed her a cassette, and an envelope, then he left
her silently.
Phoebe
slumped on the sofa, and began to cry. As she stood up to get another drink, the
cassette and the envelope fell to the floor with a small crash. Phoebe stood
still for a moment, then bent down and picked up the tape. She put it in her
stereo, and read the title, “Change”. As the slow strums of Benji’s guitar
echoed through Phoebe’s living room, she picked up the envelope, but she
didn’t quite get around to opening it, because Joel’s voice was coming
slowly from across the room, and Phoebe couldn’t move;
I am lost in the see-thru,
Think you lost yourself too.
Throughout all of this confusion,
I hope I somehow get to you.
I practiced all the things I'd say,
To tell you how I feel,
And when I finally get my chance,
It all seems so surreal.
Cuz from the first time I saw you,
I only thought about you,
I didn't know you,
I wanted to hold onto
The things you'd never say to me.
Cuz you said:
You can't change the way you feel.
*I could never do that, I could never do that*
But you can't tell me this ain't real
Cuz this is real.
*And you would see right through that*
And in the end it's all I've got
So I'm gonna hold on and on and on and on....
Now you've got me watchin' your eyes
*Watchin' just to see, watchin' just to see*
Got me waitin' just to see
*If you ever look at me*
If it goes the way it never will,
*When will it go, will it ever go my way?*
Your eyes are watchin' me.
And now you've got me thinkin' bout
The first time that I met you.
Standin' in a crowded room,
But I could only see you,
And I hope my words will get through
Cuz now I can't forget you.
I wanna tell you,
If only I could reach you,
And make you feel this way.
But you said:
You can't change the way you feel.
*I could never do that, I could never do that*
But you can't tell me this ain't real
Cuz this is rea.
*And you would see right through that*
And in the end it's all I've got
So I'm gonna hold on and on and on and on....
As
the music faded out, Phoebe’s eyes filled with tears, and she opened the
envelope carefully.
“Phoebe,
I have written pages and pages to you in my head, but now that I am
sitting here with the pen in my hand, it is so much harder. I suppose I’d
better start by telling you about that girl you saw me with… her name is
Mandy, we went out together when you was still living in England.
She moved, just like you did, and I assumed we had broken up. She had
just come back when you saw us, I pushed her away, but you must have gone
already. She knows that I’m seeing you, or at least I was…
I
wrote Change for you, it’s only an acoustic version, but it’s going to go on
our album.
I
love you and I would never hurt you. I know you have been deleting my messages,
but please just call me; I want to talk to you.
You
are the most beautiful, intelligent person I know, and I hate to think I have
caused you any pain.
Please
call me,
Lots
of love,
The
tears streamed down Phoebe’s face as she dropped the letter to the floor, and
sat back down on the sofa.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As
Joel sat in his kitchen, a glass of water in his hand, he heard someone knocking
at the front door, and he
ran to open it. Benji stood there with a worried look
on his face.
“What
is it!? She’s ok isn’t she!?” Joel asked, working himself up into a panic.
Benji
walked in, and sat on a chair in Joel’s living room.
“Benji?”
“She’s
a mess Joel” he said, looking up at his brother.
“What
d’you mean?” Joel asked, sitting down opposite Benji.
“She
obviously hasn’t been eating, because she’s as thin as a rake.” Benji
said, “That’s not it though… she’s been drinking, you can’t see her
carpet for the empty cans and bottles, there are stains everywhere, from what I
can only imagine to be sick. She’s thrown everything to the floor, there
isn’t one thing that hasn’t been smashed!”
Joel
stared at Benji open mouthed, he started to ask him something, but Benji
wasn’t finished.
“When
I got there,” Benji continued, “She was flat out, sprawled across the floor
with a bottle of Vodka still in her hand. She didn’t really want to talk to
me, but I think she’s just been drinking almost non stop for the past
month…”
“I
can’t believe she’s doing that to herself!” Joel muttered, still in shock,
“I can’t believe this is all my fault! How could I have caused her so much
pain!?”
“Look,
she’s not in the best of moods right now, but I’ll drive you round there
tomorrow morning, she might be sober by then…” Benji offered.
“Yeah,”
Joel agreed, “thanks Benji”
“Don’t
worry about it.” Benji said, smiling weakly, “can I crash on your sofa
tonight? I don’t really wanna drive back to my place.”
“Sure,”
Joel said, getting up, “Grab a pillow or whatever from my room. I’m gonna
have a shower.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phoebe
stood up suddenly, and trampled through the mess, towards her front door.
She
walked to Joel’s house as quickly as she could, and knocked on the door
loudly. The lights came on in the living room, and Phoebe heard someone walking
towards the door.
Benji’s
face appeared at the door, and Phoebe looked at him seriously, the tears still
staining her face.
“I
need to talk to Joel!” she blurted out, looking over Benji’s shoulder to see
if Joel was there too.
“He’s
upstairs,” said Benji smiling, and opening the door for Phoebe.
“Thanks!”
shouted Phoebe, who was already half way up the stairs. Benji closed the door
and smiled as he walked back into the living room, and turned off the light.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phoebe
walked into Joel’s room silently, and saw him sleeping peacefully in his bed.
She sat down beside him silently, and looked over at the table, just opposite
her. There in the middle of the table was a framed picture of her, the locket
lying neatly beside it. Phoebe’s eyes began to water again, and as she turned
back to look at Joel, he began to stir.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joel
opened his eyes slowly, and he could see a figure sitting at the end of his bed,
looking over at him. As he blinked, he saw that it was Phoebe, but he could
hardly recognise her. She was stick thin, just like Benji had said, and tears
were falling from her bloodshot eyes.
“Phoebe!?”
he whispered, worriedly, but he never got any further, because Phoebe flung her
arms around his neck, crying harder that ever.
“I’m
so sorry Joel!” Phoebe said shakily, “I should listened to you! I’ve been
so stupid! I’m so sorry!”
“Don’t
worry about it,” he said calmly, pulling away from Phoebe to look her in the
eye, “I’m sorry for not telling you about Mandy, but I really did think we
had split up! I - ”
“Shhh,”
Phoebe said, holding a finger to Joel’s lips, “it’s ok. I know that
now.”
Joel
smiled, and pulled Phoebe into a hug. Slowly, Phoebe and Joel fell asleep in
each other’s arms, both beaming.
Chapter
Six
Joel
woke at 10 o'clock the next morning, Phoebe's arms still wrapped around his
waist. He smiled, and loosened her grip gently. She looked so peaceful; Joel
decided not to wake her. He left her asleep, and walked quietly out of his
bedroom to take a shower.
He
came back into his room half an hour later, and saw Phoebe, still lying on his
bed. He walked over and stroked her cheek gently, but Phoebe was as cold as ice.
Joel's face dropped, and he squeezed Phoebe's hand shakily.
"Phoebe!?"
There
was no sign of a response from Phoebe, and as Joel shook her gently, he heard
footsteps outside his room.
"Benji!?"
he called out worriedly, "Benji get in here!"
Three
hours later, Joel and Benji sat in the hospital waiting room in total silence. A
doctor walked in slowly, and Joel's head shot up hopefully.
"Is
she okay!?" he asked, standing up.
The
doctor looked at Joel silently for a while, then he begun to speak quietly,
"She
still isn't conscious... it isn't a coma, more like a deep sleep." he said
calmly, Joel looked shocked, and the doctor added gently, "She's in a
stable condition."
"Why?"
was the only word Joel could force out of his mouth, no matter how many
thousands of thoughts and questions there were running through his head.
"I'm
afraid," the doctor replied softly, "it was an attempted suicide...
Phoebe tried to kill herself with an overdose."
Joel
was unable to speak, and he sat down again slowly, his head in his hands. Benji
sat down by his twin, and felt the same pain shoot through him. He held his
brother close as the tears fell gently down Joel's face.
Joel
tried to get his head around it all, but it just didn't make any sense. After a
few minutes, he looked up at the doctor.
"How!?
She was with me all night! She couldn't have..."
"It
was a delayed response," the doctor explained, "the tablets she took
were very weak, probably Paracetamol, therefore it took a while for them to
cause her any real harm."
"What
do you mean?" Benji questioned the doctor, "Has she caused herself any
permanent damage!? I though you said she was going to be okay!"
"She
has damaged her liver, nothing serious, she'll be fine, but she will need to lay
off the drink from now on."
Joel
nodded slowly, then looked up at the doctor, "Can we see her?"
"Certainly,
but I must warn you, there will be lots of wires and tubes around her."
Joel
and Benji nodded slowly, and followed the doctor out of the room and down the
corridor.
They
stopped outside a white door, and Joel opened it slowly. The doctor left them,
and as Joel walked in, he saw Phoebe lying motionless in the hospital bed. They
sat in silence for a while, the only thing making any noise; Phoebe's heart
monitor.
"Don't
worry Phoebe," Joel whispered, taking hold of her hand, "I'm here
now."
*~*Three
Days Later*~*
Phoebe
opened her eyes slowly, and blinked in the light. As her eyes began to focus,
the room around her began to make sense. She could see blank white walls;
flowers’ covering the table opposite her, and just beside her, slumped over a
chair was Joel, fast asleep.
"Joel!"
Phoebe shouted, although it came out more like a loud whisper. The last thing
she could remember was being in Joel's room. "Joel! Joel!" She
pleaded. As her eyes started to fill with tears, Joel began to stir.
Joel
woke, slumped uncomfortably over a chair, to the sound of Phoebe's voice. His
eyes shot open, and there in front of him was Phoebe, wide-awake, the tears
streaming down her face. He flew out of his chair, and ran over to Phoebe,
grabbing her hand.
"Oh
my God!" he shouted, pulling Phoebe into a hug, "How long have you
been awake!? Are you okay!? Do you feel alright!? Do you want me to get the
doctor!?"
"I'm
fine. I don't need the doctor. How long have I been in here!? I'm so sorry
Joel!"
"You've
been unconscious for three days," Joel said calmly, squeezing Phoebe's
hand, and wiping the tears from her face with his own free hand, "and you
have nothing to be sorry about! What made you say that!?"
"I
ruined everything! Everything was so perfect and I fucked it up! It's just I
thought that... if nothing had happened to me by the time I got to yours... then
nothing would happen to me at all. I've been so stupid, you must hate me for
putting you through all of this! I'm so sorry! I didn't-"
"Shhh,"
Joel interrupted, stroking Phoebe's cheek softly, "don't be stupid. You
don't have anything to be sorry about. I'm just glad your okay, that's all that
matters. I love you!"
Phoebe
smiled weakly, as Joel planted a kiss on her forehead.
"Am
I gonna be okay?" Phoebe asked worriedly.
"Your
gonna be fine," Joel reassured her, "but just to be sure..." he
continued, a smile spreading across his face, "how about you move in with
me?"
"Really!?"
Phoebe asked excitedly, beaming.
"Of
course!" Joel replied as the door opened behind them.
Benji
walked in and shut the door. He could see Joel, leaning over Phoebe's bed,
blocking Benji’s view of her.
"Hey
Joel! How is she? Have you still not been home!? The doctor said that-" as
Joel turned around, Benji saw Phoebe, eyes wide open, beaming at him.
"PHOEBE! YOUR AWAKE!" he shouted, running over to her.
"Yeah,"
Phoebe giggled, "it would seem so!"
"Well
you both seem very happy!" Benji stated, "Have I missed
something?"
*~*Chapter
Seven*~*
*~*
"I'm going for my check up. "Phoebe
stated as she walked into the kitchen where Joel was eating breakfast.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come
with you?" Joel asked, looking up at Phoebe.
"Yeah, don't worry, I'll be fine! I'll be
back by about midday." Phoebe smiled and began to walk to the front door.
"I love you!" she called out as she shut the door.
*~*
Phoebe sat in the doctors office, waiting for
him to come back with the test results from the previous check up. He walked in
about five minuets later and sat behind his desk.
"I’m okay aren't I?" Phoebe
questioned the doctor before he could get a word out.
The doctor smiled. "Your fine," he
reassured her, "but there is one little thing." He added, the smile
falling from Phoebe's face.
*~*
As Joel sat watching TV, he heard the front
door slam shut. "Phoebe?" he called out, getting up from the sofa. He
heard hurried footsteps on the stairs and he began to worry. He ran up the
stairs and into their room, to find Phoebe lying on their bed, staring at the
ceiling, her eyes wide with shock. "Phoebe!? What's wrong?" Joel
questioned, dropping to his knees so he was level with Phoebe, "What is it?
What did the doctor say? Phoebe!? Phoebe, talk to me!"
Phoebe turned to face Joel slowly, "Joel,
I'm... I'm...". Phoebe looked down and griped Joel's hand, only increasing
his sense of dread. "I don't know if you'll think this is a good thing or a
bad thing," she continued, the expression on Joel face turning to
confusion, "but I'm a month pregnant"
Joel's face was full of joy, and he jumped up
to hug Phoebe, "That's great!" he reassured her, before lunging at her
stomach and smothering it with kisses.
*~*Chapter
Eight*~*
*~*
The next day, Phoebe went out to buy herself a
dress for her dinner with Joel that night. She found the perfect black dress, it
fitted her like a dream, and made the most of her, already perfect, figure.
Phoebe laughed to herself weakly, she had better make the most of her figure
while she still had it.
That night, Phoebe took out her
dress from the bag, and put in on carefully. She whisked her newly dyed black
hair up so she could put on her locket, then let it fall gracefully back to her
shoulders. She walked out of the bathroom ten minuets later after applying her
make-up, and walked down the stairs to find Joel waiting for her.
"You look gorgeous." He
stated, leaning in for a kiss.
*~*
Joel opened the door and followed
Phoebe indoors.
"Thanks for dinner."
Phoebe smiled as Joel turned around, "Tonight was great."
"The nights not over
yet." Stated Joel as he picked up Phoebe in his arms and carried her up the
stairs and into their room. He sat Phoebe down on the end of the bed, and
kneeled down in front of her. "The last six months have been the best of my
life," as Joel spoke, he lifted a hand and held Phoebe's, fiddling in his
pocket with the other. He finally found what he was looking for and he carried
on. "I love you, and... well... " He let go of Phoebe's hand and took
out a small box from his pocket and opened it. Phoebe stared as the ring
glistened at her. "Phoebe, will you marry me?" Joel finished.
Phoebe screamed, pouncing on Joel
so suddenly that they fell to the floor in a tight embrace.
Joel beamed to himself,
"I'll take that as a yes then!"
*~*Chapter
Nine*~*
*~*
Five months later, as Phoebe
walked down the aisle, she didn't think the smile would ever fade from her face,
and as she drew closer to Joel, she could see he was probably thinking the same
thing.
*~*
*~* Three months later *~* Phoebe
walked into the living room to see Joel reading a book titled; 'How to be a good
Dad' Phoebe giggled at the cheesy title and Joel looked up, his cheeks slowly
turning red. "That's just too cute." Stated Phoebe, leaning against
the doorway. "So does the perfect Daddy want some lunch?" "Yeah,
thanks." Said Joel, putting the book down. "D'you want a hand?"
"Nah, I'll be fine." Said Phoebe, leaving the room. As Phoebe reached
up to get out some plates, she felt Joel's arms wrap around her, now very large,
stomach. He planted a soft kiss on her neck, "I love you" he said
softly, but before she had a chance to reply, she felt a shooting pain go
through her, and she had to grip onto the side of the sink for support. Joel,
although a little shocked, knew exactly what to do, and soon he was driving
Phoebe to the hospital.
*~*
A week later, Joel and Phoebe sat
on the sofa and watched as Benji, Billy, Paul and Aaron fussed over baby Sophie.
As Benji fought for the full attention of his new born niece, Phoebe thought
back to when she and Joel had been in school together, and all of this had just
been a fairytale she had made up. Phoebe smiled to herself and placed her head
on Joel's shoulder. "What you thinking about?" asked Joel softly
before planting a kiss on the top of Phoebe's head. "Nothing" replied
Phoebe, still smiling to herself as she wrapped her arms around Joel's waist.