Wondering

By Nicola Mattin

Megan was bored. She had all the time in the world and nothing, absolutely nothing to do. She looked out the window for inspiration, but none came, all around was wet. It had been raining for the past hour. She reached over and put the CD player on and started to listen to her favourite cd. At least she could concentrate on the singer’s words, but today they made her sad and she turned it off. Silence again. She sighed; I should have gone with them she thought to herself. Her flatmates Chloe and Amy had gone shopping for the day. Megan had been invited but had chosen not to go. SHe had wanted to be alone with her thoughts, she realised now, what a bad idea this had been. Thinking about what had happened wasn’t going to change anything. She had to be positive! Easy to say she thought. But then why not? She was only 22; she had her whole life ahead of her, starting right now.

Two weeks later Megan was a changed woman, if not totally but definitely on the outside. She had gone for a whole new look. Gone were the flowery skirts and smart sensible tops, she wore baggy combats and band t shirts, she felt more comfortable with herself. Her flatmates had noticed a difference to, they remarked on it one evening while Megan was in the kitchen cooking. “She looks fantastic doesn’t she?” Chloe remarked. “Yeah definitely, her hair suits her black and she just seems a much happier person now” “I was beginning to worry about her. She didn’t deserve to be treated like that” “Yeah well we all know what a dick Lee was. I mean cheating on her in her own bed, how low can you get?” “That’s all in the past now, let’s forget about it ok? I’m feeling much better.” Megan said as she walked in carrying 3 mugs of tea. “Ok we were just saying how you look and seem much better, more like the Meg we know and love!” “Thanks I couldn’t have done it without you 2, so are you 2 going to come to the concert with me? Please? Good Charlottes music has helped me a lot and you 2 have helped me a lot, so I wanted to bring the 2 together! God I’m being silly now aren’t I? Don’t worry I’ll go on my own, I’m sounding like an idiot!” Megan stopped and tried to stop her face going crimson! “Of course were going! We know it’s important to you, in fact they play the guildhall near your birthday, so we’ve already got the tickets and it’s your birthday present!” Chloe replied. “That’s brilliant, thank you thank you” Megan said excitedly hugging each of them in turn.

Over the next few months Megan become more like her old self, she went out and had a good time and life slowly got back to normal. Both Chloe and Amy had boyfriends but she didn’t feel left out nor did she feel like a spare wheel. “So you looking forward to Saturday night?” Chloe asked one Thursday night. “Um I guess, why?” Megan looked puzzled. “It’s the concert, you’ve been playing their cd this evening, had you forgotten? What a fan you are, haha” “Is it really that soon? That’s come round quick! I knew when it was, just didn’t click it was so soon. It’ll be great must remember how to use my camera this time! Remember last time?” She asked. “Do I? That was SOOO funny your favourite member and you can’t even hold the flash button down long enough!” “Well I was shaking at the time; I mean Benji that close to me! I kinda froze! Plus it was only a week after I found Lee… she trailed off, I wasn’t thinking straight.” “I know but this time I’m in charge of the camera ok? I’m taller than you so I can get some good photos.” “That’s brilliant, thank, what would I do without you?” “You’d have pictures of their legs is what you’d have haha. Shall we watch a DVD? Something with gorgeous men in? So we can just veg out?” “Oceans 11” they said together, laughing they settled down to watch it.

The next morning Megan wasn’t having a good day. Her bus had been late and now she had a really snotty customer. Megan calmly explained the refund policy again, but the customer wasn’t in the mood to be nice. “Well that’s not good enough, where’s your superior? I want to talk to them” “I’m the deputy manager and I’m in charge today, my manager would tell you the same though. “You can come in and see her tomorrow if you wish or I can give you head offices number?” she explained smiling. “I’ll be back tomorrow and rest assured I’ll be complaining about you, what’s your name?” “My name is Megan, I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful”.  The customer stormed off nearly knocking over a display in the process, not that she would have cared, customers like her didn’t.

“You handled that well I wouldn’t have been that polite” a voice behind her said. “Thanks but I’m used to being a punching bag, she said turning round smiling, can I help….. She stopped mid sentence, she knew the person who the voice belonged to, it was Joel from Good Charlotte. He was still smiling at her waiting for her to finish the sentence. “You” she finally said. Her mind was racing, oh my God, keep calm. She realised then he’d said something and was waiting for her to answer. “Sorry what did you say? My mind just went totally blank, I guess that’s what happens when you’re confronted with the lead singer of your favourite band!” she finished smiling. “That’s ok, no problem, so we’re your favourite band are we? Are you coming to see us tomorrow night?” “Yeah my housemates are taking me because it’s my birthday the day after, they know how much… anyway I’m rambling what can I help you with?” “Honestly its fine, he smiled, I was just wondering if you could help us with some directions? We’re a bit lost!” “We?” “Yeah the rest of the guys are in the van out there” he said turning round and pointing to a van on the pavement outside the shop.

“I’ll try my best, where are you going? Duh! The guildhall I’m guessing?” “Yeah our stuff’s there but were not! So can you help?” he looked at her questioningly. “Sure I can, it’s quite confusing though, it’s the stupid one way system, she stood thinking, look I hope you don’t think I’m some crazed fan but if you let me come with you it’ll be easier. I’m crap at explaining anyway, and all it’ll cost you is your autographs!” She couldn’t believe the words were coming out her mouth, she was never this forward! Luckily Joel considered it and decided it was a good deal. “Aren’t you running the shop though?” “No I just said that, my manager is on lunch, she’ll be back soon and then I can go, oh her she is, just let me get my bag I’ll grab some lunch after I’ve taken you to the guildhall.” “Sure. Thanks we appreciate it, between you and me, who’s your favourite/” he said his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Why?” “Just wondered cos since I said the van was outside you keep looking over my shoulder!” “Oh sorry, well um… its well, it’s your brother, thanks now I’m as red as my top!”

She got her bag quickly and walked out with Joel, her heart was pounding, he opened the van door and motioned her to sit in the front seat, “This is Megan she’s going to direct us, cos apparently it’s complicated” Four friendly faces she instantly recognised greeted her. Benji was driving, he looked even better in the flesh, he grinned at her and said thanks so which way do we go? She got them to the venue safely and was about to go when Joel stopped her. “Look thanks again, it was really kind of you.” “It’s no problem, I had fun, guess I feel I owe you anyway, she stopped thinking of the day she walked in on Lee.. She could feel tears welling up so she plastered on a smile and said thanks for the autographs. “Um why do you feel you owe us?” “I don’t want to trouble you with my problems. “Its fine, I’ve asked so tell me” She told him about her boyfriend and what had happened, “that sucks what a dick!” Benji said. She looked up startled when she realised he had been listening. ”Sorry I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, you looked upset so I just came over to make sure you were alright” “It’s alright, anyway I listened to your albums a lot and they helped, that and my friends.” “Glad we could help, so you’re coming tomorrow night? With your friends?” “Yep I’m really looking forward to it” “As an extra thank you, we’ll put you on the guest list then you can come backstage and say hi?” Joel said. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be any trouble?” “It’s fine. We’ll see you tomorrow” She got a hug from each of them, and walked back to work feeling like she was floating!

“No way! That’s amazing! I can’t believe you said that to him! What possessed you? You’re not that forward!” Amy was open-mouthed with disbelief! “I guess I wanted to see Benji. I don’t know. It was like it wasn’t me speaking!” “So was he as nice as you’ve imagined?” “Was he? He’s gorgeous!” “So are you going to knock him dead looking all sexy tomorrow night? You can wear that top you brought the other day, the 1 with maximum cleavage on show!” “Amy what chance do I have with him? It’s not going to happen is it? I’m just this girl who helped them when they got lost, that’s all I bet he hasn’t given me a second thought since.” “I wish you wouldn’t put yourself down all the time, you’re beautiful, and if he can’t see that he’s blind! So I think you should go for it, vamp it up, if it doesn’t work out you’re not going to see him again so go for it?” “Alright I guess, I haven’t dressed up all glam for ages. I’m only doing this for you though, I’m a realist!” “Ok Meg you tell yourself that! I know it’s cos you want him to get in your knickers!” “god shut up, don’t say anything like that  tomorrow night, I’ll die of embarrassment” “You know I won’t but I’m glad he got your juices going, you haven’t had a snog or anything since Lee, you need 1! “Amy ok I get the message can we just leave it now?” Thankfully she did. Megan didn’t want to get her hopes up, it was so unlikely, he would be interested her, sighing she went to bed.

Saturday night and the house was in a panic, the sounds of A could be heard all round the house. It was the girl’s favourite music to get ready to. They were all looking forward to tonight. Suddenly Chloe and Amy were big good charlotte fans, and each was dressed up nice, the prospect of meeting them was too good to miss up! “Come on Meg we’ve got to go. The taxi is here” Amy called up the stairs. “I’m just coming” Megan called from the top of the stairs. She started walking down them, to gasps from her friends. “You look amazing!” “Absolutely fantastic” “you really think so? I’m really nervous” Megan faltered halfway down the stairs. “Come on no time for nerves we have to get going”

“Do you think she’ll come?” Benji asked Joel for about the 30^th time. “Yes I think she’s going to come? Will you quit it? You’re driving me mad.” Joel rolled his eyes and carried on getting ready. “And she said I was her favourite? Sorry I know I’m going on, but I can’t get her out of my head, she was just so… amazing!” he sighed. He couldn’t believe he was feeling like this, about a girl, he’d met for about 40 minutes the other day. Joel walked over to him and put his hands on his shoulders “Benji she likes you ok? Stop getting nervous, her face was bright red when you finished hugging her, though I doubt you noticed you were just as red.!” “Thanks I feel much better now!” “Anytime now get ready”

Walking up to the stage door Megan was shaking. What was she doing? She would have turned and ran if it wasn’t for Chloe frogmarching her to the door. She knocked and explained who she was. They got let in and were being led to the dressing room when Billy came round the corner, “Megan hi, you look great!” he said looking her up and down. Benji was going to be blown away he thought to himself!, grinning he said “come on I’ll take you to the rest of the guys,” Chloe and Amy were giggling like school girls they couldn’t believe what they were doing and they’d caught the admiring glance Billy had given Megan. Megan was chatting to Billy, getting more excited as they got closer to the dressing room. Just before they went in Billy pulled her to 1 side and said “Just so you know Benji is just as nervous as you!” “wha…” but Billy was already walking in. Megan couldn’t believe it. Did he really mean it?

They walked in and Benji looked up immediately, she looked beautiful, lovelier than the day they had met. She was going round introducing her friends to everyone, she left him last, he was glad she did, he didn’t trust himself to stand. Then she was there, he quickly stuffed his hands in his pockets and got up. “Hi how are you? You look amazing!” “I’m good thanks, you look good to,” she was smiling at him nervously wondering what to do next. He gave her a hug, praying she didn’t notice the bulge in his trousers and quickly sat down again.

She had noticed, and the thought she had done that to him thrilled her. She sat next to him and they began chatting. It was a good half hour later that they both noticed they were the only ones in the room. “Where’d everyone go?” Megan wondered out loud. “Um that’s my fault; I um I wanted t um well, well good question you see….. He stuttered on. Megan smiled she couldn’t let him struggle so she stopped his ramblings with a kiss. He responded quickly and as she wound her arms round her neck he parted her lips and began exploring her mouth with his tongue. They drew apart breathless after a few minutes, grinning at each other. “Wow I’m glad you stopped me rambling there, you’re so lovely, and when we met I couldn’t believe how sweet you were. I’ve been thinking about you non stop, and this afternoon I think the rest of the guys were going to kill me, I was worrying you weren’t going to come!” “Why did you think that? I wasn’t going to miss seeing you! I guess you know I’ve always had a soft spot for you, but when I saw you on Friday, it was SO much better. I’m amazed I got you to the guildhall I was too busy looking at you! I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but you’re the first man in a long time to; as Amy put it, get my juices going!!” she flushed. Why did she say that? But he looked pleased; no get it right he looked very pleased!! He leant in and kissed her again.

“Sorry to interrupt, but we got a show to do Benj” Paul stood in the doorway looking at his feet. “Ok were coming, Benji stood up and took Megan’s hand, “We’ll talk more after the show ok?” “Ok” she smiled, “uh Paul where’s Chloe and Amy?” “Don’t worry they’re fine, they’re watching the support acts. They said to say I told you so!” “I thought they would,” she replied grinning “What’s that about?” “Well they told me you would like me and if you didn’t you were blind or something! I was more cautious I guess!” “Well they were right and I’m so glad we stopped at your shop! So what’s your favourite song and we’ll dedicate it to you?” “Aww, you’d do that for me? You’re so sweet,” she paused and stopped him walking and pulled him toward her for a kiss. His lips crashed hungrily on hers, reluctantly they pulled apart, “and my fav song is the young and the the hopeless” “Ok I’ll tell Joel”

The concert was amazing, stood at the side of the stage Megan couldn’t believe she was here, let alone what happened! Of course Amy and Chloe had wanted all the details and she quickly filled them in before they started playing. She noticed the whole band had crowded round Benji to, obviously doing the same as Chloe and Amy. Benji looked over at her and grinned, she felt weak at the knees. “Were so pleased for you, you positively glowing. The guys were telling us Benji was driving them all mad going on about you, we said the same. They’re all really nice, but we’ll be quiet they’ve started” The set was brilliant, they played all her favourites. When they got to the young and the hopeless Joel dedicated it to her and she felt great. They were just about to play the next song when Benji stopped them and started to speak. “Um I just wanted to say the next song I’ve always said is about our dog cash, the audience went mad! Well that was true when i8 wrote it, but it’s not true now. “Then he looked across at Megan and blew her a kiss, she caught it and blew her own back, they were stood there grinning until Joel started singing and Benji had to start playing. The audience had no clue what he was going on about but Megan did and she couldn’t stop grinning!

“That was amazing, thank you so much for dedicating that song to me!” “Hey anytime, thanks for being good at directions! Joel said hugging her, have a good night!” He wandered off to the rest of the band and Chloe and Amy, they were going to show them the town, leaving Megan and Benji to themselves. “So what do you want to do? Get something to eat?” Benji asked her, suddenly they both felt nervous again. “Well you could always come back to ours, I can cook you something for you, cos I’m really not hungry and then we can talk? I mean you don’t have to, I won’t be offended” she looked at him nervously, awaiting his reply. “That sounds great, but we can just talk, I’m not hungry either” He took her hand and headed to the door, smiling she headed to the taxi rank.

Once they were in the house she showed him to the living room and went to fetch them both a drink. She stood looking in the fridge for a long time, because Benji came looking for her. “Are you alright?” he asked, pulling her into a hug, “I’m fine, just day dreaming, she said turning round to face him, feels like I’m in some sort of dream” “I know what you mean, and I don’t want you worrying, this isn’t some 1 night stand, you’re more special than that ok?” She nodded, that’s what she had been thinking about, he was on tour for 1 and he lived in America for 2! “Look can’t you take some holiday and come on the rest of the tour with us? We can get to know each other better and take it from there? I know it’s a bit fast but we don’t have time on our side and when something is right, its right” He kissed her on the nose and held on to the fridge as he waited for her answer. “I’m actually on holiday next week because of my birthday, but I’ll talk to my manager about getting more time off she does owe me a favour, so it should be fine. I’ll ring her tomorrow it’s too late now. You sure you want this?” She looked in his eyes and got her answer. He leant in and kissed her, her senses were going wild he had this incredible power over and she seemed to have the same effect on him, this drove her crazy. He pulled away and looked at her, “You’re so beautiful” He pushed a strand of hair away from her face, he kissed her again, but this time he kissed down her jaw line, she let out a low moan as he continued down her neck. He reluctantly forced himself to stop. “If I start I won’t be able to stop” he said huskily. “I don’t want you to stop” and as if to demonstrate this she wrapped her arms around him, pulling up his t shirt and feeling his skin, running her hands up and down his back, he shivered with pleasure and buried his face in her neck.

She took him by the hand and led him upstairs to her bedroom, shutting the door she turned to face him, she slowly removed her top and threw it on the floor, walking toward him she took of her skirt to, he stood there taking her all in, then he started kissing her again, his hands running all over her body exploring her. Megan pulled up his t shirt over his head and began undoing his trousers; he let out a moan as she reached inside his boxers. Then he was taking off her bra, cupping her breasts in turn, teasing the nipples, taking them in his mouth. Megan could barely contain herself now, and she took off his boxers guiding him to the bed. She lay down and Benji climbed on top of her, he sighed feeling her body against his was unbelievable, he parted her legs and gently joined them, she gasped with delight and wrapped her legs around his back, slowly he built up a rhythm getting faster and faster, when he came he collapsed against her, breathing hard. A while later they were led in each others arms, “wotcha thinking?” “I was thinking I’m so glad we got lost Friday!” She kissed his forehead and then his lips, his mouth hungrily kissed hers and then they were making love again.

Chloe and Amy let themselves and the others in “Shush, they must be asleep, Chloe whispered, the living room is through there” They had all decided to come back to the house even though they could have stayed out longer. Everyone wanted to know how Benji and Megan were getting on. They got their answer when they heard “OH Meg, don’t stop” coming from upstairs. They quickly went in the living room, stifling giggles! “That’s our girl” Chloe said to Amy “Yep they seem to be getting along just fine!”

Sat round talking after they had settled Joel said “So did this Lee hurt her really badly then?” “Yeah he did, frigging arsehole that he is. This is her house, we rent from her. Lee didn’t live here, but he mite of well have done, he had his own key. Anyway one night he thought she would be back late from work, because they had an audit and we were away, apparently he’d been seeing this other girl and had no place to take her, cos he would have been seen… so he thought he’d bring her here..” “You’re joking? That’s terrible!” Billy exclaimed. “How low can you get? He sounds like a right catch” Paul said. “Well yeah total dick, so she came back early and went upstairs to change and caught them in her bed” “Shit” Chris said, they all looked horrified someone could do that. “She sent him packing there and then; when we came back she was in a bit of a state. We helped her best as we could and obviously your music helped and linkin park to I think, she’d walk around screaming to one step closer. Then one day we came back shopping to find her dying her hair and talking about a whole new wardrobe. Now she’s back to her old self and it’s great!” “Benji won’t hurt her will he?” Chloe asked. “No he won’t, he really likes her and he aint the type to cheat either if that’s what you’re asking?” Joel finished defensively. “Sorry we shouldn’t have asked that, we just care about her” “I know, I shouldn’t have snapped, she’s lucky to have friends like you”

The door opened then and a sheepish looking Megan walked in, wearing everyone noted Benji’s t shirt “oh hi, didn’t expect to see you all here” “Hi yourself, Chloe replied you two enjoying yourselves?” They all managed to keep a straight face for about half a second before they all collapsed in fits of laughter.

Megan went scarlet, wondering what they had heard exactly. “Um great I’m just getting us a drink, does anybody want anything?” “I do, but ill come with you” Joel said and so saying he followed her out the door to the kitchen. “Like your t shirt, Benji has one just like it!” he grinned. “Very funny! Did you have a good night?” “Yeah Chloe and Amy definitely showed us the sites. So how are you and Benji getting on?” Good, he’s asked me to come on the rest of the tour with you. I hope you and the others don’t mind? I don’t want to annoy anyone” “Stop worrying, it’s fine, he’s already said about it. We’re all agreed, we want you to come, and anything that’s good for Benj is good for us. Plus I think he’d drive us round the twist if you weren’t with us, I could have killed him this afternoon! Anyways you better go back up he’ll be wondering where you are” “ok thanks again, are you all staying tonight? I can get sum sheets and pillows for you…” “Look don’t worry about us, you just go and be with Benji, we’ll see you in the morning. I’ve just remembered it’s your birthday tomorrow isn’t it?” “Oh yeah I’d totally forgot, going to be the grand old age of 23!” “Hey less of the old, some of us are already there! Anyway night, tell Benji we’ll see him in the morning” “night”. Walking up the stairs Megan grinned to herself, she couldn’t believe what she was doing; she just knew she had to do it because it felt right.

Benji lay back on the bed, a broad smile on his face. He had certainly enjoyed the last few hours and she was going to be coming with them, he felt fantastic. He looked round as the door opened, Megan walked in with to cups of tea. “I nearly died of embarrassment down there. EVERYONE is down there. I walk in the living room totally oblivious and I think they heard us earlier. She flushed again, thinking about earlier. It was all she could do to stop herself dropping the tea and pinning him on the bed for a replay. “Did they, well never mind, I’ve put up with it enough, especially from Joel!” He sat up and took his tea from her. “Thanks, so what do you want to do for your birthday tomorrow? Or do you have something planned?” “Haven’t really got anything planned, just going to treat myself to a little shopping trip tomorrow morning, you’ll come with me?, he nodded, then I’m cooking a meal for Chloe and Amy in the evening.” “Cooking on your birthday, shouldn’t they be cooking for you?” “I love cooking so I don’t mind at all. You are of course invited and the rest of the guys if they want to come” “You sure?” “Positive, it’ll be nice, especially because I’m guessing we’re off to wherever your next concert is on Monday?” “We’ll be leaving first thing on Monday morning, I hate early mornings! But we’re going to Leeds. I’ll just go down and check with them, don’t go anywhere Kay? ‘Fraid I’m going to need my t shirt back, fantastic as it looks on you. He lifted it over her head quickly and put it on. His eyes darted over her naked top half “aww what are you doing to me, you’re gorgeous” planting a kiss on her nose he went downstairs.

“Hey Benj got your t shirt back I see” Paul said. “Uh yeah, he replied grinning, um Meg said something about a meal tomorrow?” “Yeah” “Well she’s invited us; I’m coming well I’ll still be here!” “Is she cooking then?” Billy asked. Amy answered him “yep she’s a brilliant cook; her chocolate cake is to die for!” “That settles it for me at least then I’m there! Chris said. “Yeah we’ll all come.” “Excellent then we can leave from here in the morning?” They all nodded in agreement. “We should get a refund on that hotel; we’re not going to be there!” Chris said. “Chloe, Amy have you any idea what I can get her for a present?” “I’m sure whatever you get her will be fine, in fact I’m positive she won’t be expecting one, but you can’t go wrong with anything with tigger on it!” “Thanks see you all in the morning”

He walked slowly up the stairs, opening the door he said “Well it looks like you’re stuck with all of us!” “Great it’ll be my own little dinner party.” she smiled. I’ll help you with the food shopping tomorrow etc” Benji climbed into bed and snuggled up close to her, she had put a t shirt of her own on and it smelt of her. They started talking then, about many different things, favourite colours, favourite everythings and their lives up until they had met, a while later they fell asleep in each others arms.

The next morning the house was quiet, Megan woke up early as she always did, she looked at Benji sleeping, he looked so peaceful, moving quietly she got some clothes and tiptoed to the bathroom. Making her way down to the kitchen she heard a bedroom door open, it was Chloe, “morning! Happy birthday, she whispered, me and Amy will be down in a minute get the kettle on”

They came down and gave her card and gift, “its lovely thank you. Look while it’s just the three of us I’ve got something to tell you” “go on” Chloe said. “Well Benji asked me to go on the rest of their tour with them; she looked at their faces, to see their reaction, “I hope you said yes!” Chloe started “Yeah I did, I just want to tell you two first. Who knows where this is going? I just know I have to go with him. He makes me feel amazing, in so many ways, he’s….. he’s incredible” sighing she said I’m falling for him big time” “Well I think it’s safe to say the feelings mutual! What are you doing this morning?” “Well me and Benji are going shopping in a bit then it’ll be back here to start cooking. I guess he’ll want to go to the hotel to get his stuff to. So I’ll drive into town. Are you alright entertaining the rest of them, if they need it?” “Oh yeah, their great no problems there” “talking of them where are they?” “In bed, Amy answered. I shared with Chloe last night, Paul and Chris had my room and Billy and Joel are in the spare room” “Oh right cool. Got to ring Elizabeth now, hope she lets me have the time off. Wish me luck!”

Luckily her manager was very understanding; she said she could take two weeks holiday instead of one and then two weeks unpaid leave and then go from there. She was pleased like Chloe and Amy to hear Megan so happy. Megan took up some coffee to her room, Benji was awake, “morning gorgeous” she set the coffee down on the bedside table and leaned over and gave him a kiss. “Morning yourself, Happy birthday” “Thanks, I think it’s going to be a very good day! I spoke to my manager, I’ve got four weeks off starting from tomorrow, then when that’s up we can go from there,” she finished shyly. “Wow great. I’m awake now so we can go shopping if you want?” “Great”

Two hours later they were walking round the high street, they had been to the hotel and got his stuff and everyone else’s to. They had been in a few shops and Megan had been on a bit of a spree, or she would have done, if he had let her pay for anything! “Look you don’t have to pay for me” “You’re right I don’t I’m doing it because I want to ok?” “Ok thank you” smiling she gave him a kiss and hug. “So where to now?” he asked. “Just a couple of clothes shops then we’re done I think, then its cooking time!” laughing she took his hand and walked down the street, then stopped. “What’s wrong? Are you alright? You’ve gone really pale” Benji looked concerned, “What’s wrong?” “It’s Lee over there…it’s the first time I’ve seen him since well since then” “It’s alright I’m with you, he wouldn’t dare come over would he?” “Well actually yeah he would, shit here he comes” she gripped Benji’s hand as if her life depended on it.

“Hi Meg, how are you? Long time no see,” he went to kiss her, she took a step back, she could sense Benji getting angry. She squeezed his hand reassuringly. “Well the last time I saw you, you were in my bed shagging some girl, and so I wonder why we haven’t stayed in touch” she said sarcastically. “Well if you were doing your duties and all that we wouldn’t have had that problem would we?” he leered. “Un-fucking -believable! It’s my fault is it? Ok, fine, as you can see I’ve moved on and up, this is my boyfriend Benji. Benji this is a wanker named Lee!”  Benji said nothing, just stared, Lee looked uncomfortable, “looks like you to are well suited, bargain basement freaks together!” he sniggered. “Why am I wasting my time even having a conversation with you? I’ve got much better ways of occupying my time!” “Really such as what?” “Well this for one” Turning her back to Lee she pulled Benji round to face her and kissed him long and hard, he resisted at first, still angry but then he surrendered and kissed her back. When they pulled apart five minutes later, Lee was nowhere to be seen. “You handled that well. I really wanted to punch him, who did he think he was?” Benji was calm now, “I’m now ever going to treat you how he did, you deserve so much more” “Thanks, don’t think I could of stood up to him without you there though, you gave me the strength I needed.” She smiled. “Well I’m always going to be here, so you’ll always have the strength you need” He said, Megan burst into tears, “Gee that wasn’t meant to make you cry, come here” He wrapped his arms around her. “I know, I know, that was a lovely thing to say, and well I tend to get emotional sometimes.” Looking up at him she said “come on lets go, we’ve got everything we need” “ok, no actually we need one more shop,” “do we? Which 1?” “The Disney store please” “ok, this way” she said looking puzzled, why did he want the Disney store? She got her answer ten minutes later when she walked out carrying the biggest tigger she ever seen. “Happy birthday! 2 little birds told me you liked tigger”

When they got back there was a note, hi, hope shopping trip was good, have gone to get a few bits for tonight luv  Chloe, Amy, Joel, Billy, Paul and Chris x x. “Bless it looks like they’ve all signed it themselves to!!” Megan showed Benji the note grinning. “Wonder how long they’ll be?” he thought out loud, “Dunno they wrote a time on the top 3.15pm so they’ve only been gone half an hour. I don’t have to start cooking yet anyway and the cakes made. Why?” have you got something in mind?” she looked over at him, Benji grinned and said “maybe” “Well maybe I’ve got the same idea, race you to the top of the stairs!!!” She won, and shutting the door as she did last night she turned round, he was stood facing her they kissed passionately, while both sets of hands quickly undid buckles and zips and clips, and removed each others clothes. Once they had done this they headed for the bed, but this time Megan pushed Benji down and got on top of him and began moving slowly, he groaned, “that feels good” she smiled and leant forward and kissed him, “It feels good here to… and as if to illustrate the point she let out a moan of her own, and speeded up. They came together, Megan controlling the speed until they both couldn’t take it any longer.

When they were finished, Benji said “Can I ask you something?” “Sure. What?” though she had guessed what he was going to say. “It’s something Lee said, that you weren’t doing your duties? What did he mean cos I’ve seen no evidence of that so far!?” “Well he was just pissed cos I wouldn’t ‘service him how and when he liked!’  “Huh?” “Well basically he wanted sex when he wanted it” Why did you stay with him? From what I‘ve seen and heard, he treated you really badly” “I loved him or thought I did, I guess I didn’t think I could do any better, but even being a doormat has its limits and when I caught him I decided being alone was the better option! I decided I was going to wait for someone special, someone who would treat me how I should be treated, and now I’ve found that someone…….” She stopped, looking at Benji, he was smiling at her, “You have?” he said. “Yeah I have. So thank you for making me feel special!” “Good I’m glad I make you feel special, you make me feel amazing. Now come here,” She did, he wrapped his arms round here and softly kissed her on the lips. “We should get up or we’ll be here all day, I think I heard them come back about ten minutes ago.” “Ok” Megan said reluctantly dragging her self up. “Benji” He stopped getting dressed and stood facing her, “Yeah” “You’re wonderful, you know that?” “You’re pretty wonderful yourself” he blew her a kiss then carried on dressing. She sighed happily and when they were ready they made their way downstairs.

“Hi, we didn’t think you were back yet” Chloe said as they walked hand in hand into the kitchen. “We got back about an hour ago” “Oh right, we see! Wink wink” “Yeah yeah funny funny” Benji answered grinning good naturedly. “The guys are in the living room, unless you want to join in the girlie chat we’re about to have?” Amy said. “No it’s fine! I’ll find the others,” he kissed Megan on the cheek and walked out. “So what were you all out buying then?” Megan looked around and couldn’t see any bags anywhere. “Can’t tell you that I’m afraid, top secret! The boys are sorting it out now. So are you having a good birthday then?” “Definitely! He makes me feel great. It’s weird he totally wants me. I can’t get over it. Before with Lee it was the same all the time, he got his and I was left, but not now!” She stopped. Going red. “You can’t just stop there, we want details!!” Amy squealed. “uh well, you see, its mind-blowing, it’s all I can do not to just take him upstairs and bolt my bedroom door, he’s so sexy, he turns me on so much!” “That’s great; I said you wanted him in your knickers didn’t I?” “Well now he is and he isn’t going anywhere!” she laughed. “We saw Lee in town, which was interesting, her face clouded over as she told them what happened “You handled that well then. We’re proud of you.” Chloe said. “I can’t believe he had the cheek to come over and say hi” Amy exclaimed. “Neither could I, it was such a relief when we finished kissing and he’d gone. “And Benji was alright about the whole thing?” “Yup he knows everything, but let’s stop talking about Lee, let’s go in the living room and socialise!” Megan stood up, Chloe and Amy followed. When she opened the living room door she got mobbed by balloons and a chorus of happy birthday. “Thanks” she said grinning. They got her a card to. “You didn’t have to” “we wanted to” Paul said hugging her.

“Right we’ve got a bit of a surprise for you both now,” Chloe started. “We all helped and chipped in, it was interesting” Billy said arching his eyebrows. Megan looked worried, and she had a feeling she knew what was coming next. She was going to kill Amy and Chloe. ”Why are you doing this to me? You’re supposed to be my friends, no my BEST friends!  I was going to break it to him slowly over many weeks, so he wouldn’t run away scared.” everyone was in fits of laughter except Benji he looked disturbed!! “Oh sweetie don’t look so worried, it’s nothing serious, their just setting me up to embarrass me” she hugged him and he relaxed a little.

“Yup we didn’t want you thinking she’s all perfect!” Chloe continued. “She is perfect” he asserted. She kissed him and said thanks. “Well here we go; Joel said standing up, a soundtrack of Megan’s life if you will. We resisted putting us on thou, like Billy said it was interesting!”

He pressed play and the sounds of Avril Lavigne and skater boy filled the living room, Megan started laughing and buried her head in Benji’s lap. He was laughing to. “Well I spose it could have been worse” “You haven’t heard the rest of the tape yet!” Chris exclaimed! An hour later they had sat and laughed through Arvil Lavigne, Boyzone, Westlife and Busted. “I think I’ve got to redeem myself a little bit with mest and the manic street preachers in my collection to?” Megan pleaded. “Yeah Well Meg, Arvil Lavigne and Westlife!” “Now’s not the time to tell you I’ve seen them twice then?” “Oh dear!” He rolled his eyes. “Well talk later, he grinned, then he whispered in her ear, you’ll have to make it up to me!” she looked in his eyes and feelings of lust overtook her whole body. “Absolutely” she whispered breathlessly. Benji shivered in anticipation.

“I’m going to start cooking now, hope everyone’s hungry?” She walked out to the kitchen, she started cooking, she got totally lost in what she was doing, singing to herself. “Meg it’s the phone for you, your dad,” Chloe handed her the phone and wandered back in the living room. “Hi dad thanks for the card!” she started. He talked about sport for a bit with her, she decided to tell him about Benji and how happy she was. She didn’t get the reaction she was expecting, rather than indifference he got angry “What do you think your doing? You don’t know him and you’re going to go away with him!” But he makes me happy and I’m going regardless of what you think? Why are you suddenly choosing to care about me, now I’m happy?” “Well if that’s how you feel I won’t bother!” “Since when have you bothered anyway dad? BYE” Megan hung up on him. She was shaking and tears spilled down her face. “Bastard, he’s not going to ruin this for me”

She walked along the hallway, to the living room. Putting the phone back, she said “If my dad rings again, which I don’t think he will. I DON’T want to speak to him ok? Chloe and Amy nodded. “Kay Meg, you alright? You’re shaking!” seven concerned faces looked at her. “I’ll be fine in a bit, I’m going to put a cd on in the kitchen, it’ll be loud ok?” picking up linkin park she walked out. Benji followed. “What’s wrong? What did he say that upset you? Meg look at me please.” He grabbed her shoulders and turned her round. Tears were flowing freely now. “I told him about…about us and how happy I am. I was expecting indifference, but he was really angry and told me I was being a fool. So I hung up on him. He’s not your typical dad” He hugged her. “I’m not going to do anything to hurt you, you believe that right?” “Of course I do. I’m not taking any notice of him. I should know what to expect now, but I always hope he’ll be different next time. Never mind. “Dads are great aren’t they?” he sighed, hugging her close.

“I’m not going to let him ruin today or how happy I’m feeling” Megan went over to the cooker to check the food. “Are you alright now? Honestly?” Benji asked still looking concerned. “Yes” she smiled reassuringly. “Thanks for the hug, wanna sit with me for a bit?” “Of course”, he said pulling a chair out and sitting down. They spoke about her dad and she found it helped. It felt good knowing she had found someone to support her whatever. She told him as much. “And I’m here for you to whatever ok?” She said looking into his eyes. “I know” he smiled.. Standing up he kissed her softly and then cupped her face with his hands. “I’m so glad we’ve found each other”

The meal was a success. Everyone complimented Megan on her culinary skills. Once the clearing up had been done, they were sat chatting. They talked about the tour and Megan going with them. “We’re going to miss you LOADS Meg, Amy said, but were so glad your happy” “thanks” Megan smiled, she was snuggling up to Benji on the sofa. “I’d better go up and pack soon, seeing as were leaving early.” “I’ll help” Benji quickly said, making the others laugh. He had the grace to blush.

“We play in London two weeks tomorrow, Amy and Chloe you’ll have to come” Paul said. “Thanks we’d like that, plus it’ll give us a chance to see Meg again, before she goes back to the states with you.” “You don’t know I’m going with them yet!” “Meg bar a flash flood or an atom bomb, you’re going back with him. You’re besotted with each other!” Chloe smiled. “True anyway I’m going up to pack now, thank you all for a lovely day, it’s been a memorable birthday. See you all in the morning” She blew them all kisses, picked up her cup and walked out. Benji followed her upstairs.

“So you’re going to help me pack are you?” Megan asked. “Well kinda. I’ll pass you stuff!” Benji grinned. “Then what are we going to do?” “Well I seem to remember I’m on a promise!” He looked at her. “So you are. I hate to break promises” She giggled.

Half an hour later she was all packed, can’t believe I’m going with you tomorrow! It’s going to be great. So this promise you said your on…how do you want me?” she grinned wickedly. This had the desired effect. He could barely contain himself. “Uh…well” he started. Deciding actions were better than words, he took her to the bed and laid her down. Then slowly, taking time over each part, he removed her clothes, 1 at a time, kissing her all over as he did so. The effect this had on her was unbelievable. His touch was electric. She began to pull on his t shirt, so she could touch him, but he pushed her hands away, “wait” he whispered. Megan did as she was told and surrendered to his touch. Her whole body was responsive to him and she showed him she was enjoying herself. Then she could take it no longer she had to touch him to. She reached to pull at his t shirt and this time he let her. She took it off and led looking up at him. Then slowly she sat up kissing him all the way up his chest and neck as he did so. She found his mouth and kissed him long and hard, all the while her hands were in his trousers making him harder. Now it was his turn feeling all tingly all over. She wouldn’t let him touch her, as he had done to her. Then neither of them could take it any longer and Megan laid back down on the bed. Benji lay on top of her and joined them, making them 1. After they led facing each other, exhausted but happy,  looking in each others eyes. “That was incredible. You seem to have this power over me, I’m spellbound. I want you SO much.” Benji said while lovingly stroking her cheek. “You have the same effect on me, I want you, I was saying to Chloe and Amy earlier how you satisfy me.” she stopped feeling herself blushing. “I do?” Benji was grinning. “Yep you do, like we were made to fit each other!” “come her I want to feel you in my arms” She moved over and let out a sigh of contentment.

Two years later Megan was stood waiting excitedly at the arrivals gate at the airport. Finally people started coming through. She scanned the crowd and finally saw them “Over here, over here she squealed! Jumping up and down. Chloe and Amy ran over to her. “Hi you look fantastic, but stop jumping up and down. You don’t want to have the baby at the airport!” Chloe hugged her “So how long have you got to go now?” “three weeks cant believe how fast its gone, but then I was on tour with them for most of it, it’s nice being home now. Even better that Benji’s got some time off. You wait til you see the nursery. He did it all himself. It looks great.! Anyway let’s get going I’m sure you’re tired?” “Yeah a little bit, but where’s Benji?” Amy inquired. “At home, he thought I’d want to pick you up on my own, so we can have a gossip, Joel and Chris were over when I left, but they’re all coming over tomorrow night, they can’t wait to see you. They want to show you the sights!!”

They gossiped all the way back to Megan and Benji’s house. They were all really excited to see each other. Chloe and Amy were staying for a month, so they’d see the baby. Megan was pleased her two closest friends were going to be there. There was no one in the house when they got back, they must be in the garden. I’ll show you your rooms then we’ll go find them” Megan led the way upstairs.

Walking outside she saw Joel and Chris but no Benji.  “We’re back! But where’s Benji?” she asked. “He just popped out to get something, he’ll be back soon.” Joel said getting up to greet Chloe and Amy. “Kay” Megan said thinking nothing of it. “Who wants a drink?” She went in the kitchen.

Ten minutes later she heard the front door and then she felt two arms encircle her and his hands protectively touched her bump. “Hey gorgeous” He whispered in her ear. “Hey” She said leaning back against him. Turning round in his arms, she looked at her husband, “Know what I membered today?” She asked. “What?” He smiled. “Two years ago today Joel came in my shop and asked for directions, then I walked out to the van and lost my heart” He kissed her softly. “I remembered to, that’s why I went out, to get you this” He pulled out a small box and handed it to her. She opened it. Inside was a delicate heart shaped pendant. “It’s beautiful” she gasped. “I hoped you would say that, I thought so to when I saw it and when you got in the passenger seat that day I thought you were beautiful. “Thank you, it’s lovely, will you put it on for me?” He picked it up and put it round her neck. They hugged again. “I love you Mrs Madden” “I love you to”