As we turned down a narrow more alley-like street my senses were sharply aware of this place. The air at first was almost bitter and overwhelming but suddenly seemed spicy and although not always pleasant - you find yourself inhaling deeply and just soaking it in. We passed various shops from noodle making (Taiyuan is famous for) and meat market and all sorts of produce (HUGE grapes) and such. People were curious and friendly. At one point a man washing a window above dropped a rag and Marty tossed it back up to him and got a smile and wave. We were a little uneasy about some cats tied on short ropes outside one shop.

We made it to the laundry and had to wait while they counted Mary Romer's things. I believe it was the owner who found a walnut that was not ripened yet and gave it to Mary...

He then gave her a brown nut. When I explained to her what it was he noted her confusion and proceeded to get out a hammer and open it for her. He was meticulous in his removal of every bit of brown skin from the nut and gave her each shard. She decided she didn't like it but we all partook. Mary Romer bought some fruit and then we went next door to a small grocery. This is where Rui showed me the cake ball treats for children that she said adoptive parents described as "kid cocaine," so I bought two. We also got some flavored yogurt drinks, and a few other things. I LOVE going to the stores here and seeing what is different, what is the same, and figuring out what things are. We are hours from meeting our daughter.

We decide that there is no way our hotel room will be adequate for having a crib and being able to walk at all. We asked at the desk earlier about upgrading - how much it would be, what is available, etc. They showed us a set of two adjoining rooms - one with a king bed, and the other with two doubles but they have the magical door between. They are huge in comparison with what we have and we are enthralled (I didn't mention the flat screen TV or the L-shaped computer desk or the other nice upgrades). We don't know what the cost is as it is booked through our agency. We don't want to have to switch rooms after getting Julia. We simply say "we'll take it" and come back to pack our things and sign more papers and have the bellboy assist with our bags and such. I think they have multiplied. Rui brings us dumplings that are spicy and delicious and all the paperwork is complete.

And when we see the room again... a crib!!! It's here. It's real and happening. I'm kind of shell-shocked, excited, yet it's moved to surreal again.

We change and gather our gift bags and passports and such and head to the Civil Affairs office. I'm trying to take in every nuance and still just thinking... this is it!

We get upstairs and the entire floor has its lights off. A man who got off the elevator with us heads to an office but we continue down a darkened hall. There is a window at the end with light and I'm reminded of the symbolization of Christianity. The door is locked to the room and Rui goes to check on things and tells me that two children are here that are not ours. Suddenly down the hall comes two adorable children with their nannies. One is a cleft baby and has her hair highlighted! The other is just precious. Their hair is short and by their clothes I wasn't sure if they were girls, but one had pink shoes. We do not approach as we are not their parents and they are shy. We have in fact met one's adoptive family earlier that morning at breakfast. Both families approach as does the official and we step inside. We are in awe as we watch these families form. The children are at first shy and then accepting. We hope for the same.

And suddenly we are alone. We are told that they stopped to rest and are in the city but in traffic. We chat and wait. I become more anxious and start looking out the window below. I see a taxi pull up but after five minutes, no result. And suddenly I look down the hallway and there are people with a little baby. I rush back and announce her arrival. And she is here. Tiny. Full dark hair (short) but not shaved. She is clinging to her caregiver and frightened. She is not wanting us and we are just wanting to say hi or make eye contact. She will NOT have it. I'm amazed at her. She's so petite and so beautiful. Her eyes are not round like her referral picture. I'm enthralled and watching her relationship to these two young women. She is so loved. They encourage her to look and she fights them. They try to get her to come to me and she refuses and clings to her neck. One breaks out a sucker and we break out the cake balls. She's taking them in and crying and it is puddling a mixture of stickiness. She wails and arches her back as I finally take her. She follows her caregiver's every movement and when she steps out of the room for a moment the pitch increases even further. We have toys that are not impressive. We are given instructions of her schedule and I pass her off to Marty. The pitch increases further. I'm trying to take it in and understand and learn that she has not been with the farmer foster family in Yuncheng that we thought - but in a care center in Beijing. Further, she had recently been moved from there back to Yuncheng and now here to us. So many changes in this little one's life.

I asked if she has been with other children (not knowing if this care center is small or large) and am told she has. Has she been around dogs (since we have three)? No, but she watches them when she sees them and does not seem afraid. Does she walk? Yes.

And it blurs in my mind. The nanny (ayi) comes and kisses her tear-stained face among her own tears and I choke up as well. They brought such treasures with her. A favorite stuffed poodle that she must have to sleep with each night, a silver bowl and spoon that she uses each day. There are clothes and meds (she has diarrhea) and cereal. She has a cleft bottle as well. I am touched by their thoughtfulness and thoroughness and devotion.

We head outside and she has periods of quiet while she stuffs her mouth with those rice balls. We take a couple of photos outside Civil Affairs while Cui brings the car...

When boarding she begins to cry again. Marty holds her and she quiets down.

We stop on the way to the hotel for some official photos for our paperwork tomorrow. Right as it's time for the photo she begins to cry again and Rui, the every resourceful woman that she is, whips out a cell phone and begins playing a song complete with lights and the picture ends up actually quite good.

Back to the hotel. She is whimpering at times. We are so tickled pink and the hotel staff smiles as we approach.

Mary is not extremely interested. She is actually exhausted with no nap and Julia is not exactly bowling her over, either.

We get to the room and pull out the heavy ammo in more cake balls. She settles some and seems ravenous.

We decide that we are tired and she certainly seems hungry. Mary is saying she would like to eat (Mary Romer has spoiled her to the concept of room service) so in celebration we went to the hotel's Chinese restaurant.

It's such an experience. We are lead to a back room and seated - so very proud of our expanded family. Chinese culture is so very different. Smokers everywhere and one man is on a laptop. The waitress hands Marty a menu and stands expectantly. We are all waiting for ours and finally we get them. She stands looking over Marty's shoulder as he slowly goes through the pages. I'm looking over the other shoulder as I have Julia on my lap and am not going to release for a second. Mary Romer orders for herself and Mary with the assistance of some words that Rui has written for her (vegetarian). The waitress offers help for Marty and he orders what turns out to be a most delicious beef and potato dish. We notice there are only chopsticks. The Marys get their meals and Marty has his drink.

Mary is becoming increasingly agitated and ultimately twists in her chair in protest and we realize she is asleep. Mary Romer has eaten her food (mine has not arrived) and she simply carries Mary back upstairs to bed. Marty, Julia and I enjoy his dish and Julia tries some of Mary's noodles as well. She is a food-hound! I'm afraid to give her too much after learning of her GI distress but she is like a baby bird for those potatoes. It was a comedy as the waitress kept asking to take Mary's late-arriving orange juice to the room and we kept telling her we would do it. As we were leaving the restaurant she whisks by taking it from Marty's hand and is smiling and waiting at the elevator. It took some convincing to allow us to carry it up to the room. They are so very accommodating.

We head back up and learn that Julia does NOT like to have her clothes changed. We were able then to see her cleft. It's funny, she has three teeth up top but I have not seen them. I felt the teeth when I was placing something in her mouth and tried to feel if her gum line was affected, but it did not seem so. We have plenty of time for that.

We did see her first smiles and a glimpse at how bright she is. I would mess my hair up and she'd pat her head. I'd cover my ears, and she'd cover hers. I'd gasp and cover my mouth -and she'd first cover her nose and mouth and then slip her hands down. When I'd wiggle my fingers and move them towards her, she'd swat at them and grin. And when I'd snatch them away at the last minute she'd squeal.

We realized she was tired and placed a bit of drink in her bottle and she sucked it down. Then we placed her in bed with her poodle which she clutched to her chest. She cooed a bit and such while I was on the computer typing an e-mail and I realized she wasn't awake anymore. We were having our first night.

And I kept getting up and just looking at her - still unable to fathom that this tiny form sleeping was Julia... OUR Julia. I thought I was prepared for all the emotions but how can you? I know that her grief is a good thing - in that she has been loved and has the capacity for accepting our love intact, but her grief is so palpable.

I had wondered all these months after being matched with her if she was being loved and found comfort in knowing that just because she was an orphan it didn't mean that she wasn't being nurtured. But I'm 47 years old - a grown woman in a blissful marriage with a family. My mother lives over 600 miles away and I feel blessed if I can visit her twice a year. But if you took her away and replaced her with another woman - kind, giving, loving, and caring - at this stage of my life I would rebel with every fiber of my being. I would mourn the relationship with the woman I have known and loved. It would devastate me.

So I marvel that much more at this child who already has begun to open herself to the possibility of our family. So much change. Please continue to pray. We are rejoicing in Taiyuan.

Carole