But I'm overcome. I lie in bed reliving the day's events and tears flow. I first and foremost pray for her nannies and caretakers who so selfishlessly gave of themselves to this child knowing that this was the end result - they put their hearts on the line and she blossomed as a result. Then I think of her birth parents, honestly especially her mother. Now most children when they are abandoned in China are newborns. But not Julia. When she was found (on my birthday last year) she was estimated to be four months old. I think of that four months so often and feel that she was loved fiercely during that time. I speculate that her family really wanted to keep her but finally realized that they couldn't, possibly when they came to terms with the cost of repairing her cleft? It is speculation I know, but it gives me comfort. I pray for them and wish there were a way to let them know that we will treasure her every breath.

I finally get up around 3 or 4 and take a bath. The water pressure is low (hence a bath) and welcoming. When I get out I check the computer and see that Sarah has written me two minutes prior. I've been leaving phone messages daily with quick updates and we have e-mailed, but I'd like to hear her voice (mother's gather much from that). I ask by e-mail if she is still there, she responds, and I throw on some clothes and depart for the conference room at the end of the hall. It's good to play catch-up verbally and as I return to the room I realize that Julia is either awake or just about to be awake.

When she wakens she is sad - I think realizing that yesterday's events were not a bad dream. She's still in the hotel with these funny sounding strangers. She isn't livid but just grieving. Once again, any source of food is a primary focus for her. A diaper change reveals massive GI distress and we realize we need the first bath for this girl. As Marty and Mary Romer prepare the tub, I start to undress her and once again she protests this change. Marty (ingenious as he is), takes her rubber roll-up place mat with suction-cup bottom I had purchased in the States and uses it is a bathtub mat. Julia Fanfan as we call her (her nickname at the orphanage is Fanfan), is not pleased with this activity. I place the wind-up toys that were to pleasure Mary but were instead a source of terror and Julia fixates on them. As the lobster swims toward her she picks him up. We bathe and she isn't happy, but isn't in a frenzy, either.

I'm amazed at her skin. She has an olive complexion that is smooth and just gorgeous. She's not dark or yellow hued. Her skin is soft and we lotion her up and place an outfit on her that I had brought (12 months) with ample room. More cake balls later and she is satisfied. We head downstairs to the breakfast buffet and are pleased when the hostess signals us to a private dining room as she notes our new addition. We are grateful at any attempt to escape the smoke. We have attempted to give Julia medicine (some went down her chest). Once again she focuses on every nuance of food. I fill a Gladware container of Cheerios (later found to be the Honey Nut variety) and she is ravenous. She is also interested in every bite that passes from my plate to mouth as I eat with her on my lap. Marty goes out to ask for some hot water and is met by the waitress who anticipated and returns with the container filled.

We return to the room to prepare for Rui to arrive at 9:45. She will then tell us if our Civil Affairs appointment will be this morning or this afternoon - to complete Julia's adoption. Julia is on our bed playing with stacking half-spheres and we watch as Mary just itches to get her hands on this new toy that she has not seen. And suddenly the ice is broken. Mary is on the bed as well, instructing her younger sister and talking nonstop - every other word seems to be Julia or Julia Fanfan. Julia responds well to having her game monitored and at times will offer pieces to Mary, who still doesn't realize that this sibling does not know what she is saying - even when she uses good manners and says "please."

Oh - and at breakfast, Mary was delighted to announce that since Julia had looked directly at her and said oooooooo-ah that it symbolized an English word, and that Julia now understood English and would not speak Chinese anymore! There is a touch of control issues at hand, though, and if Julia reaches for anything Mary is quick to want to grab it from her - all activities will first be approved by Mary Elisabeth. But then I look and Mary is "reading" to her from one book or explaining each photo from the soft photo album we brought. The ice is breaking a bit further for these two.

We pack another set of gift bags, make sure we have passports, and grab the fees we are told to bring and head downstairs. Rui meets us and informs us that we are on the way back to the Civil Affairs office. We will do more paperwork, have an interview, and will leave with Julia officially becoming Julia Grace Phillipson. I'm once again numb to this fact - I know all the questions to be asked and what to expect (we did not put socks on Julia in anticipation of her footprint). I hand her off to Mary Romer to climb in the van and when she tries to pass her back Julia wails and clings to Mary's neck. Experts say we should be the only ones holding her but I'm not about to pry that child from anyone else. One harrowing ride later and we are back at Civil Affairs where we met Julia just the prior afternoon.

Julia has fallen asleep in Mary Romer's arms. Nothing escapes Mary - as we head to the elevators she comments that this is where we got Julia yesterday. I tell her that she is absolutely right and as Rui goes to push the elevator button Mary asks "Are we going to get another one?" I can't help but smile as I think - boy if she only knew what it took to get to this point.

Upstairs there are two more families with children ahead of us. The center desks have activity and we are then joined by the two familes that we witnessed forming yesterday. Both girls are content and seem very well-adjusted. It's a long wait and Mary and Julia eat all the Cheerios that I have packed. I notice that Julia is more apt to play and tease Mary Romer. She holds out Cheerios to her and will snatch back with a grin when Mary Romer attempts to eat. The sisters are sharing a chair and Marty is on Cheerio patrol - picking up the strays on the floor.

And then it is our turn. Marty first - age? Place of birth? Education? Occupation? Number of biological children? Stepchildren? When did you marry? And then me as well. Rui interprets. Why do you want to adopt a Chinese child? We anticipate this and our answer is accepted. Then - Did you know about her medical condition? Yes I respond. Do you mind? Rui gestures her face. I'm caught off guard. Mind? I feel the tears. We chose this child - out of all the postings and photos and such. We went through the change of agencies and file transfer fiasco for her. Of course I wish she had a symmetrical face but I adore her crooked smile and uneven nostrils!

Do you accept her? Oh my goodness yes, yes. The first tear spills down my cheek and I'm rocking Julia on my shoulder and caressing her hair with my hand on her head. She's quiet. Will you love her as your adopted daughter as you would another? The magnitude of these procedings hits me and I am moved. Yes, I will love her - I do already. I may not know all the nuances of the persona of Miss Julia Grace Phillipson yet, but I anticipate each aspect of it. Will you promise never to abandon or abuse the child? Yes, oh yes. This long familiar phrase that has been put verbatim in each correspondance springs to life in my heart. Tears flow readily and the orphanage director and one girl (who I'm not sure her duty) watch me carefully. The other parents haven't cried and I'm wondering what they are thinking as I rock this new daughter, this little sprite of a being who has so captured our fascination and led us to this place.

And then comes paperwork. Signing and more signing. I hand Julia off to Marty and begin my signatures and then the red fingerprints on top of each. One more switch-off as Marty signs and inks his thumb. Then Julia's foot is rubbed on the pad and she watches with curiosity. I'm grateful for this because I have learned that she does not like to have her toes nibbled and kissed. Her foot is pressed twice on documents and I realize we are through. THROUGH! It is done. Dang Hao Fan no longer - I was holding Julia Grace Phillipson.

I hug Rui and we take pictures and I have no idea of what else. We hand more gift bags to the officials and head out the door. I am a mother of three - once again breaking the tradition of Roberson girls.

We laugh as we take Phillipson family photos as Cui retrieves the car. I am learning not to watch traffic. Much of the rest is a blur. Mission accomplished and I think my brain is shutting down.

We get back to the hotel and head up to the room with the intention to rest and then go to the Wal-Mart that I have been hearing about so much on my Yahoo groups this afternoon at 2:30. Both girls are obviously tired and Julia is yawning openly.

Julia protests each time we enter an elevator or load into the car. Mary Romer says that the elevator phobia comes from her Grand Tine but Rui thinks she associates each with yet another change in her life. We'll have more change when we get back to Wisconsin (and she meets her furry friends) but we will all be constants.

In the room we change another messy diaper - though not as bad. She and Mary play more together on the bed and we prepare for naps. I remove Julia from the crib when she cries and place her on the bed with me. Then I am comatose. I do not realize when I drift off but Marty awakens me later by whispering that it is 2:30 and the girls are both asleep - Julia just so. I tell him to head out with Mary Romer and Rui and we will miss this adventure. I begin our long-neglected blogging as the girls sleep on. Mary wakes first (talking of course) and then Julia.

Another hour passes and still no sign of Marty and Mary Romer. I can call them as we have rented two Panda Phones from China but I'm enjoying this quiet time with my girls. They are eating Cheerios and cake balls and Julia has pulverized one right in the middle of our bedsheets. THAT is going to feel good tonight! I eat a granola bar and Julia is like a hawk watching me. I offer her a bite (it is very chewy) and her mouth flies open. We are understanding each other.

Finally the Wal-Mart shoppers arrive - exhausted and excited, laughing and cajoling each other and sharing tales of the 360-degree carts. Marty is adamant that we need BOYS in our household. Apparently it was an adventure and a half for these two and Rui was partly the source of it all. They bubble with excitement as Marty unloads a bag from KFC. The popcorn chicken is spicy and actually VERY good. They reveal item after item and share their bounty. Mary Romer has bought a changing pad and long pants for Mary and a jacket. Marty has a new thermos and all sorts of food items - including peanut butter, jelly, and bread; a staple in our Mary's diet.

Life is good. We are happy to settle in to the rooms and eat and work on the blog. We can see the pictures from the camera but still cannot figure how to transfer them to e-mail and realize that although Rui said she would help - we forgot. We decide to submit the days we have narrated and add photos later.

Julia has another episode of diarrhea and we head to the bathtub again. She does not like it again yet does get distracted with the toys. I shampoo her hair this time - another dislike but I had realized it was still sticky from the sucker goo episode yesterday. She stops crying immediately upon being picked up from the tub. She is so teeny a hand towel is adequate to dry her. We put her in new pajamas that are mango-colored and she just gleams. She goes back to playing with her things on the bed.

I'm really wanting a diet soda and Marty, Mary, and Mary Romer head to the 7-11 type store that is just across the side street from the hotel. They return and we take a tour of the third floor of the hotel - the pool area and then an obviously little used balcony. We had not realized that the hotel lights that run the building are there and they are a fascinating combination of colorshow. We stand mesmerized and enjoying the cool breeze before returning. Julia whimpers again at the prospect of the elevator but doesn't cry.

Back to the room and we prepare for bed. Mary decides she wants to sleep with us. We allow that (if you knew how she flops like a fish you realize that a king sized bed is not adequate, although we sleep on a double at home). Marty showers and once we realize she is asleep like her little sister, Marty transfers her to her bed in the "party room" adjoining us.

We are starting early tomorrow for Pingyao and are anticipating a full day on this outing. It's really all pleasure from here. We are awaiting her passport before leaving Taiyuan. I'm grateful for this day. I'll let Marty fill you in on details of the Wal-Mart/KFC excursion.

Goodnight,
Carole

Marty's take -

Going to a Wal-Mart with two women - big mistake! We had to go down an escalator to get to the main entrance - so unlike the Wal-Marts in the USA. We walked in and got a cart - and these carts are the coolest thing. The back wheels turned as well and you could do a 360 with ease. We had a list of things we needed to get and Rui headed up the trek. We would have to ask repeatedly where to head and there was no method to the madness. Aisles were roped off with boxes scattered all about. They had one of those Wal-Mart cheering sales associate meetings going and for a moment I wasn't sure if I needed to be concerned with the clapping and frenzied pitch rising. Fortunately we had Rui with us because we had no idea of where anything was and could not read the signs. You would not believe the different things we saw. There was a cart of gutted pigs on meat hooks being pushed past us. I tried to find some pants because I found I only had one pair for some reason and found that the sizes were not anything that I could figure out. I gave up. I am now naked... just kidding. Mary got Rui to stop with her and look at clothes which took an eternity. We went through all the different departments looking for mailing envelopes and baby items and any number of things Carole had listed. Mailing envelopes were not found. We did find most of what we were looking for.

Mary Romer wanted to buy us a stroller. But wiser minds prevailed and we left the stroller at Wal-Mart since we did not know how we were going to use a stroller in the different places we were going that may have bumpy walkways and people flying by on scooters, bikes, and cars. On this trip we would use the Ergo carrier(s). In this country we find you have to move fast to avoid moving vehicles.

We continued to wander through the store and finally found the checkout after investigating many, many, many flavors of mooncakes and all sorts of candy. We are approaching two hours in the store. At this point I'm nearly out of my mind. I HATE shopping and I want to get back to Carole and the girls. Mary Romer checked out first. As we are standing there we see a lady standing in the next aisle with a bag of huge eels. To try to illustrate - they were as round as a firefighter's hose. She was struggling with this bag - at least they were dead. Mary Romer put all her items on the counter. They do not have the conveyor belts like they do at home, so I could not put my items up as hers were checked through. I watched as the cashier asked Mary Romer questions about specials and Mary would shrug and look to Rui for assistance. Finally her items were totaled and Mary Romer pulled out her Visa card - so proud that she was not going to use up her Chinese currency. The cashier handed Mary Romer a keyboard of some type and Mary Romer gave her a puzzled look and gestured as well as asked, "Don't I sign anything?" She asked Rui - What does this lady want? Rui responded - Do you have a Wal-Mart card? She wonders if you have one to get reward points. Mary Romer shrugs again and responds no - and asks where to sign. Finally the cashier explains to Rui that they accept Visa - but only for those drawn on a Chinese Bank. So, Mary Romer THEN attempted to use a debit card for the purchase. I'm about to burst at this point. She was denied and this experience did not make her like Wal-Mart any better. I'm tired enough to see the humor of the whole situation. Finally she resorts to using the Chinese yuan that she had in her wallet all along. As I said... women!

We went to take all our bags to the van. I helped a man up the escalator with a stroller and child and got a very polite thank-you. We got the purchases into the van and went to the KFC that was across from the Wal-Mart entrance. Somehow the Chinese KFC is different from what I am used to. We are unable to read the menu and and we are told that the things that we picked out would take at least ten minutes to cook. We said okay but then they'd go in the back and then say - we don't have that, do you want XXXX? We changed the order multiple times. It was like a scene out of a bad comedy. After changing the order yet again, we decided on our purchases, paid for it, and brought it back to the hotel to an awake, adoring crowd.

Ah, but the adventure of it all.

Marty