Love And Romance
Flirting - A Subtle Art
Flirting is nothing but behaving amorously without serious intent. In other words, we can say that the act of being a flirt is all about using your communication skills with a twist of fun, frolic, jesting, merriment, jocularity and mirth. In short, it's about sending signals of love (real or unreal) to the one you are crazy about (in real life).
We communicate via our five senses. Most of us do not utilise our senses equally all the time. When expressing and perceiving data, we often use one sense more than another. But, for complete and satisfactory results, all our senses should be used simultaneously according to the situation.
Flirting is almost an art form. It takes much practice to execute the subtle signals of interest with perfect timing. Thankfully, there is no shortage of flirting tips for men out there. However, flirting is only half the battle. To truly make your rapport with a woman successful, you need to recognise when she's flirting with you.
This ability is not there in every individual, and those who have got this F factor, are really lucky. I am sure you agree with me. Some of us use "visual words" like "a light at the end of the tunnel" as opposed to 'kinaesthetic" words like "it was a weight off my mind." Once, there was a guy, who, on a blind date described himself as a "touchy-feely" person.
People who operate out of the "feeling" sense, look for "feeling" signals. The girl on the other hand kept saying, "I looked at you all the time." She expected him to pick up on her very visual signals. This was very clearly a case, not of mixed, but of missed signals!
Women are masters of the subtle, so it's your job to remain especially aware of every gesture, every word, and every move she throws your way. Always remember that attentiveness is the key.
A piece of advice to the wise...
Although the sign that a woman is interested in you can boil down to the 10-pointer theory given below, you need to know that any single point can be deceptive. The lady you're chatting up may be an attention seeking serial flirter with no intentions of ever going on a date with you.
Or she might simply be very nice and friendly with everyone, not just you. If you see her often (at work, for example), a good way to tell is by paying attention to how she reacts to others. If it's the same way she behaves with you, then don't get your hopes up.
Here, nothing but body language will work. So, before you go ahead and read about the signals that describe the flirtatious you, you have to keep another 10 useful points in mind. These are the top-10 negative body language, signals as far as the game of flirting is concerned.
Unfortunately, if you get exactly the same behaviour from the person you are going to get close to, then do not lose hope and instead follow the "try-try again," funda to be a success.
- You lean towards her and she leans back from you.
- She starts turning away from you.
- She doesn't make eye contact with you.
- She folds her arms across her chest.
- She double crosses her legs at the ankle too.
- She touches her nose often while she's with you.
- A limp or hanging hand can indicate boredom with you.
- When talking to you, she keeps glancing at other guys around her.
- She makes no effort to talk to you.
- She doesn't reply to any of your comments, doesn't answer your questions and doesn't ask you any questions. Unless she just isn't feeling good or is moody, this could indicate that she's not interested in you and that you are wasting your time.
- She just comes out and tells you to get lost, go away, go to hell, or worse. Then be assured that you are heading for the danger end. It will be better for you to leave that beauty and try looking out for a gorgeous one.
The following flirting signs are good for all settings, whether in a coffee shop, restaurant, nightclub or at work. So sharpen your senses.
She keeps glancing over:
Are her eyes aimed at you whenever you look her way? And does she avert her gaze whenever you catch her staring? Then you might have a live one here. If she doesn't prolong the eye contact, then she's probably shy and needs a little coaxing from you. Go up to her, introduce yourself, and get her talking. You know you're doing well when...
She throws the smile weapon at you:
The smile is the ultimate sign of openness and friendliness - provided it is genuine. Many people force a smile when trying to be polite, but they tend to be fairly obvious about it. If she shows her teeth and has that sparkle in her eyes, then you can deduce that she's enjoying your company. Your job is to keep her smiling by smiling back.
She goes out of her way to get you to notice her:
If, on her way from point A to point B, she takes an unnecessary detour through point C (you), she might be trying to get your attention. For instance, if she walks by your table "on her way" to the washroom in a coffee shop, but your table is located at the opposite end from the restrooms, she is probably interested. If she also smiles at you on her way, consider your job half done.
She plays with her hair:
Women's hair is a source of power and confidence to them why else would they be so devastated after a bad haircut? They tap into its power at key moments, subconsciously unleashing its seductive potential. If you see her twirling her finger through it or throwing it around, like in a shampoo commercial, then you have a potential flirt on your hands.
This also goes for body language in general. Some women like exposing their necks, prepping their clothes, or placing their arms in front of them in a way that their biceps push their breast together, augmenting their cleavage.
Sometimes, you will even find women letting their shoes dangle from their toes, displaying the curvature of their feet. Apparently, men associate this with their other curves. However, if she's crossing her arms, it means she's distancing herself. So you had better be alert.
She initiates the conversation:
Taking the first step to initiate a connection with you is a huge sign that she's interested. If she says something like, "You remind me of someone I know," which begs a response and subsequent conversation, that's a concrete sign. During the conversation, she may further convey her interest by asking you open-ended questions. She might also whisper "secrets" to you, bringing your faces close together, perhaps letting you get a good whiff of her perfume.
She enjoys the jokes you crack:
When you relate a funny story, does she throw her head back in riotous laughter or does she just look at you and say, "Is that supposed to be funny?" A big part of flirting involves reactions to the partner, so if she acts captivated by your words, you're in the green. Other reactions that convey approval include asking, "Really?" saying, "Wow!" and opening her mouth in amused disbelief.
She asks if you like certain activities:
Does she ask you about your hobbies? Is she being more specific and asking you if you like a particular pastime? Although she is not actually asking you for a date, she's implying it. She could be leading up to asking you out or paving the ground for you to pop the question instead. If the activity in question is dancing, movies or dinner, then it is almost certain.
She gifts you a compliment:
Women are sparse with compliments, so if she throws one your way, you can pat yourself on the back. This is especially good if it has to do with your physique, as this implies that she is attracted to you. Another way she may demonstrate her interest is by repeating your name, letting you know that you are memorable and establishing a closer, more intimate connection with you.
She passes some hot sexual comments:
Some women like to put themselves in the mood by talking about things that turn them on. It brings out their frisky side. So, if she steers the conversation to sexy topics, she could be trying to pull you into a flirting crescendo that might lead to veritable verbal foreplay. Most times they will keep it understated and tasteful, so you should do the same. A cross slip-up is a sure-fire way to ruin the rapport.
She sings the lyrics of the "Can I touch you?" track:
When a woman breaks the contact barrier during a conversation, it is almost a sure sign that she's interested. It can be as obvious as touching your arm or knee while making a point, or as faint as having her knees come into contact with yours under the table. But you must make sure that she makes the first skin convergence. A less direct way is if she mirrors your body, which is something women do subconsciously. When you rest your elbows above signals could just be gestures of friendliness on a woman's part, you should count a minimum of four before you conclude that she is, indeed, flirting with you. If she commits four or more, you're set for the evening.
So now you know the theory, but recognising her signals on the spot takes time, especially when they're too subtle to be detected by the untrained eye. And, though you should constantly be alert, don't get yourself into a state of tense vigilance when you're looking for nothing but the aforementioned signs. Keep cool, relax and enjoy yourself. In time, flirtation techniques of the women will become as clear to you as traffic signals. Remember: to be a good flirt, you must have the ability to read the body language of the fair sex and know what exactly flirting is all about. So, keep the lamp and keep the momentum going while we take a good, long break now to get to bed and have a cosy sleep. It's already 2:43 am in my mobile clock. You just wait as we are soon coming back with some more hot stuff Just for you. Till then, Happy Flirting...!!!
Michael Douglas is a relationship expert and the webmaster of http://www.mendatingmanual.com where you can learn the true art of flirting, attracting women, how to seduce a woman, successful pick up lines, first date conversation tips and much more...
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