Your Smile: Sociology research rates smiling people as more attractive than unsmiling people. The smile is central to non-verbal communication. In infant development the smile, which is part of a carer’s besottedness with an infant, lights that little baby like a light bulb. Even though we are no longer babies, how we look at each other remains important throughout our lives. Eye Contact: Making, and holding eye contact for two to three seconds is your strongest signal of interest in the other person. Although men are not hardwired to read a woman’s first signal so she may need to repeat it two or three times. When she finally grabs his attention, she will often use the eyebrow flash – a subtle eye widening gesture that tells him the signal was for him.

Touch: Body language experts say that touching a man lightly on his arm during conversation is a strong indicator of your interest in him. It should almost appear accidental so that if he doesn’t share your interest, there’s no awkwardness. If he doesn’t move his arm, do it again to indicate that it wasn’t an accident.

Body Language: This is a whole science in itself, but generally a woman’s most effective weapons of sensuality including hair tossing or flicking, wetting her lips and soft pouting, tilting her pelvis and pushing out her chest, and glancing sideways over her shoulder. Also widening her eyes – evidence shows that men are more attracted to women with a child-like face (large eyes, small nose, full lips), because these signals evoke paternal, protective feelings in most men.

Good Health: Exercise, pampering, taking care of your health stimulates blood flow, hormonal levels, smells, etc, the effects of which we are not conscious of, but which make a world of difference to our attractiveness. Evolutionary biologists pinpoint good muscle tone, clear eye, and a curvy midriff as being high up on early man’s shopping list. We suggest clean, shiny hair; a clear skin; a body that’s bursting with energy from regular exercise and a healthy diet – the kind of glow you get from the advice you find in our Beginners Guide to Bodybuilding.

Compliments: Deliver them – but always with sincerity. We all like to be affirmed, and this goes both ways. If someone affirms us, gratitude for the compliment helps the giver feel they had a good effect. If you want him, give him feedback.

Authenticity: Be yourself. The real you is loveable but if you’re finding it hard to believe, ask someone you know loves you to tell you what it is about you that they love; then focus on those areas when targeting your man.

Mystery: Leave a little to his imagination. Give him just enough info to want to know more. Remember, his evolutionary genes have pegged him as the hunter and you, the prey. Over-sharing may also suggest a level of intimacy he is not yet ready for.

Spicing up a Long Term Relationship

If you’re no longer single and your hunting ground is the lounge at home rather than a lounge bar, try the following.

Re-focus: Women who’ve been married for some time and had children may have lost their self confidence because their bodies aren’t what it used to be – they may believe they’ve lost the art of seduction. If this is how you’re feeling, turn the focus on him. Rather than worrying about your sagging breasts or flabby tummy being exposed during intimacy, suggest you give him a foot or back massage. Warm the oil, take his clothes off and massage with long, deep strokes. Once he’s relaxed and in the moment, ask him to do the same for you.

Set the scene: The first rule of seduction is to turn off the TV. Infuse the room with lovely smells; use an aromatherapy oil burner, a scented candle, a log fire piled high with dried rosemary or pine cones. Play music that generates feelings of warmth and contentment, rather than jarring sounds that unsettle the nerves.

Be alone: It is absolutely essential that married couples take time off from the children, even if it’s just one night a month. If you used to go out for dinner, before the children were born, do it again. It needn’t be expensive. If you can’t afford a night out, feed each other pizza at home, or have a picnic on the beach. Just make whatever you do fun and enjoyable. It’s all about reconnecting.

For more articles on sexual health subscribe to Sandra Prior’s online newsletter at http://intercell.shacknet.nu.