~chapter twenty-eight: music box
"Hey, Brittany," Brian interrupted the conversation the spunky blonde stylist was holding.
She faced him. "Yeah Bri?"
"Have you seen-"
"For God's sake," Fatima cut in abruptly. "No Brian, she hasn't seen Dana, now will you please stop walking off in the middle of rehersal?"
Brian looked at Brittany for confirmation.
"Yeah, what she said." Brittany nodded.
Disappointed, Brian followed Fatima back to the pentagonal stage. He hoisted himself up, and took his position between Julia and the front of the stage. The band resumed playing, and Brian resumed dancing. As soon as they finished that set, and a lunch break was called, Brian jumped off the stage.
"Nadine?"
She looked up from the day-long intinerary she was examining. "What?"
Brian smiled. "Have you seen Dana?"
"No," Nadine replied, and resumed looking at the paper.
Brian let out a frustrated groan. "How can you lose someone in a crowd this small?!"
"Maybe you should be asking how you can find someone in a 30,000 seat arena." Mike grinned. "Am I right?"
"Shut up."
"Have you tried looking for her?" Mike asked, passing Brian a water bottle. "I mean, really looking?"
"No, I just walk around asking people where she is without looking for her." Brian uncapped his clear plastic bottle. "Of course I've looked for her. She's no where to be found, and she wouldn't just leave."
Mike smirked. "Look hard Brian. She's in here, I can see her from here."
Brian spun around, and scanned the crowd of people. "Where?" he demanded. He searched the heads, looking for the familiar brown hair piled in to a messy ponytail.
"Not down here," Mike chided. He pointed to the top few rows of the stadium. "Up there."
He followed his manager's gaze, and spotted her hunched over, probably working on her essay She was a speckle among the rows of seats, her white sweater standing out quite boldly against the monotonous grey of the seats. A relaxed smile traced across his face. "Hey, thanks man."
"No problem, all in the day of super manager."
Brian laughed. He grabbed two of the boxed salads and a couple packets of ranch dressing. Food in hand, he progressed towards the long flight of stairs. It took him quite a few minutes to get all the way up, and when he did, he passed her by one row and snuck down close to her. Brian wrapped his arms around her neck, covering her eyes. "Guess who?" he whispered in a disguised voice.
"Hmmm," Dana prentended to think. "AJ? Is that you? I told you, not now, Brian might find out!"
He uncovered her eyes. "Too late, Brian already knows."
She smiled tiredly. "How come you're up here? Is rehersal over?"
Brian patted his tummy and showed her the salads. "Lunch," he offered. "Mmm, yummy."
Dana laughed. "Thanks, but no thanks." Brian knitted his eyebrows curiously. "I really have to work on this essay," she explained, then returned to the notes in hand.
He frowned. Deciding upon a way to peel her eyes away from the books around her, he kissed the nape of her neck lightly.
"Brian," Dana chastised, not looking up. He continued, placing his hands upon her shoulders and massaging the tense muscles. "Brian, stop it," she mumbled. His hands ran down her arms, pulling the pen out of her left hand and dropping it on the chair. He clasped her hands in his, and held them. "Get your hands off, Littrell," she threatened stubbornly.
"You owe me," he murmured, inhaling the scent of her hair.
"Bull," Dana exclaimed.
"What?" Brian whispered in to her ear in between kisses. "You'd rather kiss my feet than my face?"
She grasped for the pen, and ignored him. "I need to do this."
"I need you," he told her. "And you owe me."
"Those are some crappy options." Dana sighed submissively. "Fine. You have ten minutes."
"That's my girl," he smiled playfully when she climbed over the seat and plopped down next to him.
"Just don't expect it to happen again." Her eyes twinkled at him. "Make it quick, I have an essay to finish."
"Yes ma'am," Brian agreed, leaning in to her lips.
++a few days later++
The thigh length glittery dress clung to her skin, and Dana was beaming from ear to ear. The Merlin Ballroom in Lexington's Princess Royal hotel was adorned with a disco ball, sparkling lights and one huge banner that read 'Congratulations Trevor and Lacy'. It was signed by every single one of the wedding guests. Brian and Dana had signed it when they'd arrived earlier. The wedding had been the previous night, and after much convincing, it was decided that she and Brian would fly to Lexington for the reception. Then, the next afternoon, she would fly home and he would return to the tour.
So there they were. Surrounded by three hundred or so glamourous guests. Sonique's Feels So Good pumped through the speakers, and Dana was dancing with some people she'd met. Brian was sitting, holding a glass of wine, and watching with an amused expression.
Trevor flumped in to the seat next to Brian. Trevor stared him straight in the eyes, then burst out laughing.
"What?" Brian demanded.
Trevor hooted with laughter, slapped his knee, then took three or four minutes to calm himself down. "You've got the look," Trevor chuckled.
"What look?"
"The look of loooove," Trevor teased.
He had obviously had a bit to drink, but Brian could tell that Trevor wasn't drunk.
"The great, 'I never fall in love' Brian Littrell is so gone over that girl on the dance floor." Trevor grinned, and had some of his drink.
"I never said 'I never fall in love'," Brian pointed out grudgingly. "And her name is Dana."
"Grade 11, you were just dumped by Teagan Mior." Trevor grinned triumphantly. "You swore that you would never fall in love. And . . . you . . . have."
Brian smiled loosely, arched one eyebrow non-commitally, and gazed out on to the dance floor. He couldn't find her amidst the pumping speakers and dancing people, ranging from age three and a half (Lacy's neice, Emily) to eighty-nine (Trevor's Great Grandfather). No where within his periphial vision was the one person he was looking for.
Trevor just stared at Brian with an amused, cocky smile. "Man... you have it so bad for her."
"How would you know?" Brian asked his long-time friend.
He pointed to himself. "Hello? Who just got married here?"
Brian smirked. "Oh, you think you're so high and mighty just 'cause someone put a ring on that finger."
"And I love 'er."
Brian was silent.
"And I know what love looks like..." Trevor smiled. "And what it feels like. And how it sounds, and acts, and appears, and how everyone says that love is blind." He paused philisophically. "But love isn't blind. It's just that when you're in love, for the first time you really see. You see how amazing the sky is, and how green the grass is, and how absolutely fantastical and mystical spending the day alone with one person can be. It's not that love is blind, not at all. It's that you used to be blind, but love is like sight. Suddenly you're seeing everything." Trevor looked at Brian with an expression of triumph. "And right now, my buddy, you're finally seeing."
"Seeing what?" Dana interrupted.
Both mens' heads shot up, and looked at her. "Nothing," Brian brushed it off. "Just guy talk."
"Oh." She slipped wrapped her arms around his neck, and looked at Trevor. "So how is married life?"
"It's shaping up pretty well, but I can't seem to find my blushing bride."
"She's by the cake."
Brian and Trevor burst out laughing. "That's Lacy," Trevor mumbled. "Life revolves around cake." Trevor excused himself, and left the couple alone.
"Did you two goons have a nice chat?" Dana inquired brightly.
"Uh huh," Brian nodded, his cheek rubbing against hers. He tilted his head, and kissed her cheek.
"If we could have everyone's attention..." Ted, Lacy's uncle, cleared his throat and stared at the crowd of people. "The newly-weds have requested that all the couples in the room, married and unmarried, join them on the floor for a very special dance. So, couples, if you would..."
Chairs began to shuffle, and people moved towards the dancefloor. The spotlight was directed at Trevor and Stacy, but there were dozens of other people on the floor. Brian held Dana's hand as they progressed towards the center of the room. The lights were dim, and the piano began to play. A lovely melody filled the room, and he wrapped his hands around her waist. Dana buried her head in Brian's shoulder, and drifted in to the song. When the words began, Brian sang along very softly...
"I've seen the storm clouds in your past
But rest assured 'cause you are safe at home at last
I rescued you, you rescued me
And we're right where we should be
When we're together
I know the questions in your mind
But go ahead and ask me one more time
You'll find the answer's still the same
It won't change from day to day
For worse or better
Will I promise to be your best friend
And am I here until the end
Can I be sure I have been waiting for you
And did I say my love is true
Baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do."
"Bri-"
He pressed a finger over her lips, gesturing for her to be quiet. "Shhh. Just... I love you so much, let me do this for you. Please?"
She was stunned, rolling the words around in her brain. The way he'd thrown it in there was more of an off the cuff remark, then anything thought through or planned, but Dana much preferred it that way. She dropped her head against his shoulder.
"I know the time will disappear
But this love we're building on will always be here
No way that this is sinking sand
On this solid rock we'll stand
Forever
Will I promise to be your best friend
And am I here until the end
Can I be sure I have been waiting for you
And did I say my love is true
Baby I will, I am, I can, I have, I do."
++later++
Brian rubbed his hair dry, and swiped a clear streak on the steamy mirror. He sighed, and massaged his head with one hand. Billows of steam floated around in the bathroom, and he flipped the switch for the fan. Outside the door, the lights were off, and Dana was presumably asleep. He was in such a state of confusion, mixed in with a bit of desire and tumultuous lust. He abandoned the towel around his waist, and replaced it with a set of flannel boxers and a tee-shirt.
The hall was freezing cold when he stepped out of the bathroom. As Brian passed the various sections of the hotel suite, he shivered. Living room, shiver, kitchen, shiver, shiver, bedroom door, shiver. The bedroom was pitch black, and he blindly dragged his feet along the floor, identifying landmarks that would guide him to the bed without any bumps. Brian slipped into the bed, and pulled the covers tightly around him. Abruptly he rolled over in the huge bed.
He allowed his eyes to become adjusted to the dark bedroom, lit only very faintly by the clear glass doors that led to the balcony. There in front of him, silhouetted against the moonlight, was the pale, creamy skin of Dana's shoulder. Her strappy tanktop was bunched up under one of her arms, revealling most of her back. Her skin was so smooth, and tantilizing; she was just this... craving that Brian didn't, wouldn't give in to. He'd promised himself that nothing would happen until she was ready, but lately it had been difficult to keep his promise. She was so beautiful, so sexy, so cute, and all-encompassing in so many respects that it just blew him away.
There was something innocent about her, but she was very knowing too. She was rambuctious whilst being calm and collected. She was childish and playful, and knew just when maturity was required. Dana made herself sexy when the occasion called for it, but most of the time she was a sweats and teeshirt girl, something that Brian found far more attractive.
He couldn't explain his overwhelming desire for her. It was something so inexplicable that everytime he tried to analyze it, Brian found himself puzzled and longing for her. He didn't feel resolved afterwards, but just wanted her. There was something about her. Something that told Brian she wasn't ready for anything to happen. Maybe it was the way they'd get so close, then she would seize up. Or maybe it was the look of something very similar to fear that flashed through her emerald eyes whenever his hands would begin to wander towards the point of removing clothes. But something was there, some kind of warning light that said "Leave this girl alone." And it flashed at him day and night, an irritatingly constant reminder that Dana was something special. She was delicate, not to be mishandled, or she would break and all would be lost.
Dozily, Brian slid close to her, and draped one arm over hers. She rolled over and looked at him, surprising him immensely.
"Hi," she whispered sweetly.
"Hi," he whispered back.
"...." She had opened her mouth to speak, but nothing had managed to escape.
He waited very patiently for her to continue.
"I-" Dana could barely speak. She was nervous, but not afraid. Worried, but not scared. She was anticipating something, she knew not what though. Lying there, with the man she loved so very much, Dana came to terms with a fear she had had for quite some time. The expression on her face relaxed, and Dana knew exactly what she wanted to do. What she was meant to do at this moment. Brian lifted his eyebrows a bit, and licked his lips. That face she adored with such devotion had told her that everything would be okay, no matter what. And she was soothed, and relieved, and she knew how to react. "I," she began again. "I just wanted to... thank you."
Brian smiled slightly. "For?"
".... everything." Dana pursed her lips. "For absolutely everything. For being patient with me, for understanding me. For what you said tonight." She smiled. "For loving me. The last few months of my life have been just breath taking, and if you hadn't come along I'd probably be back with Steve, living out hell. So I just... thank you."
He shrugged, and the comforters ruffled around them. "Don't mention it. I would wait forever just to know that you love me too, and nothing is too much work. Never feel rushed into anything sweetie, because I wouldn't ever, ever leave you for something you weren't comfortable with. You're too special for something like that to happen."
She blinked in the dark. "I know."
He leaned in to give her a good-night kiss, but she stopped him.
"I know you wouldn't ever rush me into anything," she continued. "I totally trust you in every way. Which is why..." Dana drifted off, and looked at Brian intently. She trailed one hand through his semi-damp hair, then followed his jawline tenderly. He wanted to question her actions, but she silenced any curious thoughts with a gentle but thouroughly passionate kiss. Her doubts were erased. Every sexual contamination she'd ever experienced was washed away by the soft touch of Brian's hands on her neck; by his lips sliding across her cheek, shakily searching out her lips.
They remained in that interlock for a good many minutes. At length, he eased himself over top of her body, placing most of his weight on his elbows, afraid he would hurt her. Brian craned his neck forward, kssing and nibling ever so lightly on her neck. With feather-light tenderness, he caressed her body, loving the feeling of her lips on his skin and vice versa. With trembling hands Dana moved along the length of his chest. She sketched his abs through the material of his shirt, making a memory that would last her forever. With a diamond like precision, instilled by the nerves in her system, she reached for the hem of the shirt. Underneath the heavy covers of the bed, she lifted the thin cotton. She pulled it up, and Brian eased himself out of the tee-shirt.
The shirt dropped on to the floor next to the bed, and Brian pulled her closer to him. His hands slipped under the material of the tank top, and made their way up her back. She didn't tense up, and when he looked at her eyes, that fear that surfaced everytime he made it this far was not there. Something told him she was ready, she wasn't afraid. All of a sudden, everything he'd spent the last hour thinking about seemed foolish. But there was a lagging doubt. Just before he lifted the tank top over her head, he brought his eyes to hers. "Yeah?" he whispered, terrified that she would back down, but needing to clarify for his own peace of mind.
Dana swallowed, "Yeah," she replied softly.
Brian resumed pulling the shirt over her head, never removing his gaze from hers. The shirt was discarded alongside the bed with his. His lips returned to hers, not stopping on the way at any point on her body. He kissed her passionately, emotionally, lovingly. Everything important was wrapped in the body of that kiss.
On her part, it was honest and naked, telling Brian how much she loved him but how very mistreated she had been and how hard it was for her to do this sort of thing. On his part, it was amorous and tender, reassuring the fact that he loved her too, and that he would never intentionally hurt her. And that was how the night progressed. Dana, bit by bit, was exposed. All her fears and emotions were conveyed to him, and Brian, in return, would promise his love and devotion. They were revealed and bare, nothing covering the love and truth they were demonstrating.
++the next morning++
They were holding hands, Brian occasionally pulled the intertwined fingers up, and kissed them lightly. Loving glances were exchanged. Tired, but pleased, they had gradually returned from their reverie, blinking in to the sunlight. They were perched side by side on the bed, munching on mango and strawberries. A fruit salad had arrived at the door, one which neither of them had ordered, just over an hour previous. Dana had discovered it while going to the restaurant to get some cinnamin buns. She'd changed her mind, grabbed the salad, and ever since that moment she and Brian had been leaning against the wooden headboard, eating the fruit with their hands.
Brian picked up the last tangerine section. "You want it?" he offered.
"Doesn't matter," Dana replied. "We can split it, if you want some too."
Brian put the tangerine half-way into his mouth, then changed his mind. He didn't bite down, just held it there between his lips.
Dana waited for him to take his half, and after waiting for a few seconds she realised what he was doing. She shook her head, and laughed. He leaned towards her, and Dana took her half of the tangerine in her mouth. She bit it off, and kissed him lovingly afterwards. "You're such a hopeless romantic," she chastised kindly.
Brian just smiled, and used his arm to pull her back into his embrace. "I know, and you love it," he pointed out with a broad grin.
She shrugged, looking at him. "Maybe," she admitted innocently.
They just chomped on some fruit for a few more minutes. The silence was not an uninvited guest, and the lapses in conversation were comfortable and peaceful. After some time, Brian kissed the top of her head. "I love you," he said softly.
Dana couldn't surpress the smile that broke across her face. She squeezed his hand. "I love you too."
He grabbed a strawberry with his free hand and popped it in his mouth. "You know," he began, strawberry bits shooting from his mouth and sprinkling across the white bedsheet.
"What?" Dana asked idly.
"I never did get my victory slave, you do what I tell you enacted out." He pretended to muddle over the thought. "What, oh what can I do to torture you?"
She looked at him evilly. "Come on! Last night was bad enough, you wanna torture me more?"
His eyes widened. Brian shot her a bitter glance. "Not funny."
"I'm joking." Dana smiled, and flattened her hand against his chest. She patted him affectionately. "Totally joking. Last night wasn't bad at all... it was..." she searched for a word. "Magical."
"And good too," Brian added, and returned her smile.
She laughed. "So do I satisfy you?"
"Immensely," he nodded. "You're so perfect for me. Never before has someone had the ability to kiss me once, and I will surrender with total willingness. You're one hell of a lucky duck."
Dana tilted her face towards him. "One kiss?" Brian nodded. She leaned closer. "Just one kiss?" He nodded again, and she pressed her lips against his collar bone, moving up into the little hollow at the end of his jaw bone. It was, she'd discovered many weeks earlier, his most sensitive spot. He admitted to a sensitive neck, but that tiny area right below the earlobe sent tingles down the length of his body.
"Mmmm," Brian voiced his approval. "You're good at this kind of thing."
++that night++
He hadn't had time to drop his bags off at the hotel. There was no time for a quick shower. No time to sit down even. Brian arrived at the stadium, and he was whisked away to change into his costume. His headset was adjusted quickly, then they were fitted into the harnesses. It was then that he and the other four managed to catch a moment to recap the weekends events. Brian spilled the story, talked about how nice the reception was, how great it was to see Lacy and Trevor again, how beautiful the Merlin Ballroom had looked.
Kevin examined Brian suspiciously after the story had been relayed. "Why are you smiling like that?"
Instantly, Brian surpressed his cheshire cat grin. "Like what? he asked innocently.
"Like-" Kevin imitated the broad smile that had been painted across Brian's face moments earlier.
The four guys all looked at Brian, who was desperately trying to mask his smile. "I wasn't smiling like that," he denied.
"Yes you were," AJ pointed out.
Howie laughed. "I think somebody got a little sumthin' sumthin' last night."
"No!" Brian exclaimed adamently. "What the hell are you guys talking about?"
Nick joined in the conversation. "Ooo la la," he teased. "Now, were you kids careful? Didya use protection? I don't want any baby Brian's running around this tour, Lord knows one Brian is enough."
Blush had crept up Brian's face, as the four other band members ragged on him. "Stop it, nothing happened," he insisted.
"Sure, sure," Kevin bugged his cousin. "I just hope you weren't too rough on the poor girl. It must have been bad enough putting up with you for one night."
"Yeah, and everyone knows that maids hate to clean up sheets after a night like that," AJ added jokingly.
Brian's face could have blended in with a tomato patch. "Will you stop it?! Nothing happened!"
Nick laughed, and slung one arm over Howie's shoulder. "Our little boy is growing up," he said in a weepy voice. Howie sniffled, and pretended to wipe away an imaginary tear.
Brian couldn't help but laugh at the spectacle in front of him. Four grown men acting like proud mothers was an amusing sight.
Sonia rushed in, her ear moniter lit up with buttons and lights. "Fourteen seconds guys."
They sombered up, and the countdown began as the arena above them blackened. Just before the harnesses lifted them into the air, Brian said, "You know." The guys all looked at him. "Last night was pretty amazing."
Four stunned pairs of eyes faced Brian helplessly, curiousity welling up in them. They wanted all the details, and Brian knew that it would just eat them up inside for the whole show. He laughed as the audience erupted into screams.
**note: to understand the title of this chapter, you must listen to the mariah carey song 'music box'
~chapter twenty-nine~
~chapter index~
